A/N: I hope I don't offend anyone that lives in NY with the first few sentences. Believe me. I used to live there and I know that there are rude people that do live there. But I'm definitely not saying everyone there is rude. Just wanted to note that.

For once in her life, Kate was right about something.

And for once, she wished she hadn't been right.

Because she knew she'd get lost. Looking around, she didn't recognize anything she saw. Not really. Everything in New York sort of looked the same. Big buildings and small sidewalks that were overcrowded with a large amount of rude people.

She had no choice but to keep walking. If she stopped to examine the scenery around her, she would certainly be pushed out of the way.

So she continued to walk, looking around quickly as she did in hopes of seeing something, at least one thing that was familiar.

The sidewalk beneath her felt unstable. Everything was overwhelming in the city. It almost made her dizzy; the lights and the cars and the people...she wasn't used to taking in so much scenery all at once.

So caught up in everything surrounding her, she didn't notice the hand that reached out and grabbed her shoulder. She began to scream, but only received a few unsympathetic glares from the New Yorkers walking past.

"Hey, shh..." Looking up at the familiar voice, she saw Roger smiling sadly at her.

Kate looked around, slightly embarrassed. More people than before were staring at her, slightly agitated. She looked to the ground and quietly muttered, "What do you want?"

"I want to take you back home. And I want to apologize."

"I can take care of myself, you know." She turned on her heel to walk in the opposite direction, but looking around, that same thought clouded her mind.

She had no idea where she was.

"You're lost." Roger called after her, as if reading her thoughts. "Let me at least take you back to the loft."

Having no other choice, she turned around and walked beside him.

"I'm sorry." He said softly, not looking at her.

"I know you are. And you should be."

"I hurt you." It wasn't a question as much as a statement.

"Yes, you did." Stopping, she turned to face him. "What were you thinking? It's hard enough for me to get close to someone and then you pull this?"

"I said I was sorry. Okay? What more can I say, I fucked up!" Roger answered, his voice beginning to rise.

"Yes, you did! I thought maybe you were someone I could get close to, someone I could depend on, and you're dying! What the hell is that?"

"Not everything is about you, Kate."

She froze. "What?"

"Not everything is about you. Think about me. You said it! I'm dying! It would be nice to have just one relationship that doesn't die after I say those two words. I'm dying...

"So I figured, maybe if I don't say anything for a while, you wouldn't run. You'd stay by me. But according to you, I guess I screwed up. Again."

Kate couldn't look at him. She'd never thought of it in that perspective before. Never.

But could she trust him? If he kept something as important as death from her, she wasn't so sure.

They walked the rest of the way home in complete silence, occasionally glancing at each other. Roger, Kate noticed, looked pissed, aggravated, frustrated, and a little scared. Kate, Roger noticed, looked guilty.

Upon reaching the loft, Roger paused before unlocking the door.

"Do you forgive me?" He asked. Once again, it sounded more like a statement than an actual question. No emotion lingered in his voice. He ran out of strength from arguing before.

Kate stared at him, her throat beginning to close. "I don't know if I can. Roger, you lied to me. About something huge."

"And I said I was sorry. Shit, Kate! There's nothing more I can do! I screwed up, I realize that now. But if it's any consolation, it was so that I wouldn't lose you. Please...forgive me."

Kate nodded, tears falling from her face. She was tired of hurt, of pain, of people getting close to her and then leaving her just as fast.

"Do I have to decide right now?"

"No...you can think about it."

She nodded again, watching as he unlocked the door. She knew that if the decision had to be made at that moment, after all that had happened and all she'd gone through, she wouldn't have forgiven him.

She brushed her auburn hair out of her face, sniffling quietly before entering the loft, Roger following close behind.

Whether Mark was happy to see her or not, Kate didn't know. She quickly ran to the bathroom, closing the door behind her, and grabbing the towel next to her to wipe away her tears.

As angry as she was at Roger and as upset she was-

-She wasn't prepared to lose him.

A/N: I finished Anthony's book, which is amazing by the way. Someone asked me a while ago for the name, it's Without You: Memoirs of Love, Loss, and the Musical RENT. Or at least something along those lines. I really recommend reading it, it's just...wow, amazing. I became a very large Anthony Rapp fan by the time I finished it (Hell, I became a fan probably 3 chapters in!) As you know, I'm more of an Adam Pascal fan, but now Anthony is a close second.