It's not mine; it's all J.K. Rowling's.

Chapter 5: In Which Lily Goes to Divination

Or

In Which Lily Discovers the Hazards of Long Hair

Where we left our beloved heroine:

Oh, screw that. I want to know if he tastes like apple fritters ...

ooo...ooo

It's official ... he tasted like apple fritters. Yum …

I still can't get him out of my head and it's driving me insane. Well, even more insane than I already am. Before you know it, I'll be in the crazy ward at St. Mungo's.

After I finished my homework, rather distractedly, I went to bed. I don't remember falling asleep, but I must have since the next thing I remember is waking up.

From the instant I woke up, my day hasn't been normal. First of all, I woke up at least an hour after I usually wake up. Seeing my clock (and it's auspiciously not 7:00 time) I launched myself frantically out of bed and got tangled in my pjs, which had twisted around my legs as I slept. I plied myself off of the floor and thought evil thoughts about my roommates. Why in the world hadn't they woken me up? They probably had a right good laugh over me sleeping in.

I hurried into the bathroom and hopped into the shower. I was about to turn on the water when I realized I still had my clothes on. I thunked my head on the shower wall.

Ouch. That rather hurt. Mental note to self: shower walls aren't as soft as they look.

I got back out of the shower and actually got undressed before I got back in. I took a quicker shower than usual, although, I had to wash my hair twice.

It was weird. I swear I put enough shampoo in my hand, but I didn't. Maybe it was enough to wash a boy's hair, but I've got tons more than them. It's so annoying (having to wash my hair twice and boys).

So I threw on my uniform, slung my tie around my neck, grabbed my shoes, and ran down the stairs. I was about half-way to the common room when I realized I forgot my bag, so I ran back up the stairs. On the way back down the stairs, I was juggling my bag, attempting to put on my shoes, and running as fast as my rather twisted skirt would allow.

That probably wasn't one of my brightest ideas; was it? Ah well, it could have been worse, I could have broken my arm or my leg or my head, but I didn't. Instead I ran smack into Potter and we with a spectacular bounce (that felt a lot like flying) we landed in a pile at the bottom of the steps.

"Hey," I said, pushing myself onto my elbows and smiling a bit. I'm really lucky; aren't I? Do you know any other girls who have their own personal human cushion (who's rather cute and tastes like apple fritters)? Mind you, this would be much more enjoyable if he wasn't such a git.

"Going to breakfast?" James asked, returning my smile.

"Yeah."

"Need help finding the Great Hall?" Of course I didn't. Geez ... just because I'm on top of him doesn't mean I'm helpless. Sorry, chauvinistic, male pig.

"Sure." Wait ... who said that? Was that me? I am not helpless!

While I was pondering the foreign entity that had taken over my mouth, James helped me up and since he had contrived to wrap a hand around my waist, I was forced to walk down to the Great Hall with him. I hesitated as James started toward his friends. He paused and looked back at me. Maybe we'd taken a break from reality for a bit, but this was the real world. And in the real world, we didn't get along. I shoved his arm off of my waist and turned the other direction.

I walked away, over to where Ally was sitting and took a seat beside her. I spent most of breakfast ignoring James' stare which I could feel on the back of my head.

As I walked to my first class of the day, I deliberately dragged my steps at a snail's pace.

I hate Ancient Runes. Why am I in this class? Oh yeah, because I'm pretty darn good at it. What a stupid reason! I mean, just because I'm good at yelling at people doesn't mean I'm in a class for it. Actually, all that practice yelling at James during Head patrols really could be considered another class.

After arriving at class I discovered that unfortunately, or fortunately really, Professor Norwin is sick today or, for whatever reason, just isn't here.

My guess is she probably forgot she had a class and hopped a broom to the coast for some shrimp. I swear, on my lime green, fluffy slippers, that she's done that before.

McGonagall just walked in.

Apparently she wasn't to break us up into groups of three to send to another class because there isn't a professor available to watch us.

Oh gods … I'm having such a bad day. Somehow, don't ask me how (but I'm pretty sure it has to do with the fact the world is after me) I ended up in a group with Severus Snape and Arnaud Armstice (what a name; if I were him, I'd kill my parents, absolutely murder them).

McGonagall walked over to us and she gave me a small smile. "You three will be going to Divination with Professor Glieson." Ugh … Divination.

As we walked, I trailed behind, trying to keep Snape and Armstice from noticing me and consequently deciding to mess with me. Those two are the worst when it comes to treatment of muggle born's. The name itself doesn't really bother me … I don't hold much stock in blood purity, but I'd rather not have a split lip or house elf ears for the rest of the day.

I hesitated in front of the ladder up to the Divination classroom. I really don't want to go. I don't particularly like ladders anyway. After pulling a very ugly face, I climbed up.

I sneezed convulsively three times in a row as the offending smell of incense reached my nose. My eyes were watering from the horrible smell of too many offending types of incense mixed together, so I swiped at them with my robe sleeve. After removing a good amount of the water I was able to get a look of the classroom. Basically it consisted of pairs of students sitting on cushions around low circular tables with crystal balls sitting on them.

I was wondering if sitting without a chair would hurt your back when a small man jumped in front of me.

"Ahh .. another one of the students in need of watching," he said, attempting to use mystical tones. Ahh … Professor Glieson. The fellow hardly ever emerges from his tower.

"Yeah ..." I said, looking at him like he was insane because I have the slight suspicion he really is insane.

"Join that group," he said with a wave of his hand. I turned and saw he'd directed me right into Potter and Black's group.

NO! I'm going to die! Why me? Heck, I'd rather partner with Snape. Why are those two even in Divination?

"Now that the interruption I predicted at the beginning of class is complete, please continue reading your crystal balls," the professor stated.

"He predicted the interruption?" I said skeptically as I sat down at the small table. My bet was that McGonagall had told him to expect students. Divination is such a phony branch of wizardry (which is why I never took it).

Black laughed, "You bet; he's just so in tune with his inner eye."

"We heard McGonagall come in and tell him to expect students," James said, leaning towards me.

Is it just me, or are these tables really meant for two people? I think they are because with three people, I'm feeling a little too close to Potter for comfort. And the leaning isn't really helping much.

"Right," I said, looking with a great deal of focus at Black, so I wouldn't have to look at Potter. The last thing I needed right now was for the magnets to kick in.

"Want me to go first?" Black asked excitedly, pulling the crystal ball toward him.

"Sure," James said with a shrug that made me desperately want to run my hands over his shoulders.

Have I mentioned that he has nice, really nice, shoulders? I could do it. I could run my hands over them. I could just pretend his robe had a wrinkle in it.

I reached out and ran my hand over his shoulder. It was very nice. It was even nicer than it looked. He certainly had the right shoulders, not to hulking big and not to wimpy, just perfect.

"Ahem." I looked up at James and realized I been running my hand over his shoulder ... in public.

Shoot!

"There was a wrinkle," I said, blushing.

I looked away from James, who was regarding me with a questioning look, and turned toward Sirius, who was watching our exchange with raised eye brows over the crystal ball.

He looked back down and said, "Wow, I think I actually see something."

"Really?" James asked, putting on a valiant effort of appearing interested, but failing spectacularly all the same.

"You aren't going to believe this mate, but apparently there's going to be some broken desks and a seriously angry red-head in your future." I turned even redder if that was possible.

"Oh, shut up, Black," I muttered. Then I watched in surprise as he fell out of his seat. I leaned over the desk and looked at him. He was lying on the floor holding his shin. I looked at James. He smirked.

See look, there's another good thing about James Potter … he knows how to shut his best friend up. Especially when said best friend has copious amounts of blackmail material on you (even more than the rest of your Transfiguration class, who also have substantial amounts).

"Why don't we let our tomato colored little red head give it a try?" Sirius asked, getting back into his chair.

"I'm not in Divination," I said, ignoring his rude comment on the color of my face. Besides, I sincerely doubt I'm the color of a tomato; I'd guess I'm more a Gryffindor color red.

"So?" He said, raising an eyebrow.

I thought about it and honestly couldn't come up with a reason I couldn't try to look in the darn crystal ball.

"Oh alright," I said, snatching the thing up and plopping it down in front of me.

"So how do I work this thing?"

"Well, in all likelihood, you probably won't be able to work it," Black said, being

spectacularly unhelpful, "Merlin knows I've never even seen anything."

I rolled my eyes and peered at it. "Am I supposed to swirl my hands around it or something like they do in the movies?"

Black didn't respond. I looked up and saw he wasn't even in his seat anymore. It's amazing how fast and silent that man is. I'm only glad he just pranks people. If he were an assassin, we'd all be dead.

I looked around and saw he was kneeling by Ally's table and appeared to be tying her shoe for her. I cocked my head to the side then looked to James. He shrugged.

"You can wave your hands if you like," he said, "but generally it's more helpful to just lay them on the ball." I tentatively touched my fingertips to the crystal and it didn't change a whit. I think one could grow to loathe this white mist.

"No, no," James said, reaching out and placing his hands over mine, pushing them so my entire palm was touching the crystal. It was then, with my hands firmly pressed to the ball by James, that I saw something.

It was deep within the crystal and I leaned closer trying to figure out what it was. I couldn't make it out it was too far away. I looked up questioningly at James, but saw his entire body was ridged, his eyes locked on the crystal.

Great. (FYI, that was completely sarcastic. Why does he have to go and have visions while my hands are on the crystal ball? Couldn't he have waited just one bloody second until it was his turn?)

I guess I should have asked if James was the teacher's pet in this class before getting him to help me. I'm guessing he is (teacher's pet, that is) because I'm pretty darn sure no one else in here is seeing squat in their crystals. Honestly, does Potter have to be good at everything?

No, wait. Don't answer that. It would probably depress me.

I looked back at the crystal ball and felt my breathing suddenly slow.

I could see it.

I was somewhere outdoors; there were lights everywhere, and flowers. There was magic too. It was so strong I could feel it from where I was seated in a classroom far away. The view changed and I saw swirls of color. I realized after a minute that they were people, dancing. I couldn't make out who they were until the view shifted again, moving closer to the couple at the center of the dance floor.

This was important, I could feel it. I leaned forward, eager to see who this couple was.

I caught a glimpse and in my mind I said, "I know them." But for the life of me I couldn't place their faces. Maybe if I'd gotten more than a glimpse, but I hadn't.

As soon as I'd seen them the entire ball went dark and a pair of devilish red eyes stared at me. I'd seen these eyes before in my dreams.

I started to scream. I don't know why but these eyes are the scariest thing in the world. If I ever have to face a boggart this is what it would become. I can't even explain my terror … it's just like I intuitively know that these eyes are evil … like I was born knowing.

I could feel my body struggling, but my mind felt it was miles away. I could hear the scream, but it was faint and distant. One thought was running through my head, "Get it away from me!" So I shoved, shoved the eyes with all of my might.

I snapped back to reality when the crystal ball hit the floor with a resounding crack and split right in half.

I took a deep shuddering breath, stopping my scream and grasped for something to hold on to. My hand fell on to James and I held on for dear life.

Oh gods, I had to get out of here. That was too weird, too scary.

I tried to stand up, but my feet were tangled in my bag and I fell on to the table top.

James got up and helped me to my feet, grasping both of my hands in one of his.

Darn, his hands are really huge. And warm. And comforting. I wonder if he's ever considered renting them out when people are in need of reassurance.

As soon as I realized what I was thinking, I panicked.

I did not want to be thinking about James Potter's hands, not now, not ever. That was just a topic I'd rather not deal with. So I stepped backwards, jerking my hands with me.

I think that for my future health and happiness I should never step backwards ever again without looking behind me.

Stupid table. It hit me right in the backs of my knees and I went tumbling backwards, pulling Potter with me. We crashed into the table and it split right in two down the center, leaving us wedged in the middle.

I think I kind of prefer the Transfiguration tables. Even though you get splinters in your butt when you break those, at least, you aren't trapped.

"Get off me, Potter!" I cried, shoving futilely at his chest. Then I looked into his eyes and the stupid magnets switched on.

"Geroffmmmpooer," was how my next demand came out, mainly because it was muffled by his lips.

Then I just gave up. I gave up on protesting. I gave up on caring. I gave up on thinking. I just let Potter fix everything. Sometimes men are useful ... who would have thought? And then Professor Glieson kicked me out of his class.

Ok, fine, it wasn't exactly Potter's fault he kicked me out since Potter did fix everything up and managed to explain the whole kissing thing.

Why, oh why, did Black have to go pick up the crystal ball (or more accurately, pieces of the said crystal ball)?

"Wow! This is awesome. Do you think these babies will still work?" he asked, looking excited.

I stared at him for a second then shrugged. How in the world was I supposed to know? I'm not even in Divination.

"Is that ... my crystal ball!" Glieson questioned in an incredulous voice.

"Pieces of your crystal ball, I believe is the term you're looking for," Black said cheerily. Then he held them up over his chest like a pair of breasts. "Hey, hey, nice, huh?"

I just stared, but the rest of the class broke out in laughter.

Glieson gave a thoroughly girly shriek before collapsing onto his chair.

"Out," he said, pointing at me. "Out now!"

"But ..." I started, but he sprang from his chair grabbed my arm and attempted to drag me off. Too bad he's barely as tall as I am and I am muscle woman. I cannot be moved by force! MUWAHAHA! (oh yeah, and I've got a hold on Potter, but that's only a small factor)

"Get out! Get out of my class now!" He cried, letting go of my arm and stamping his foot. He looks just like a little kid throwing a temper tantrum.

"Fine!" I said, filled with righteous attitude.

If only I hadn't knelt down right then in fury to pick up my bag.

If only I hadn't stood up in even greater fury.

If only Potter hadn't been so close to me (much closer than I'd thought).

If only I had shorter hair.

If only he hadn't been wearing a belt.

If only I'd murdered him when I had the chance.

But no ... I hadn't, and my hair got stuck on his belt.

Yeah … so now not only is my head in intense pain, but Glieson some how (in spite of his slight vertical challenge) threw me down the lower. I hate ladders!

I still can't believe Glieson kicked me out. For crying out loud, it was only a stupid crystal ball (admittedly it was a supposedly unbreakable crystal ball, but still!). And really that, table was more like a board on a pair of cinder blocks. I'd done it a favor by putting it out of its misery. And while kissing someone isn't exactly appropriate behavior for the middle of a class, I was kissing his favorite student ... that should negate the inappropriateness of the whole thing. And anyone with half a wit could tell the belt thing was a complete accident.

I shoved the belt (which was still stuck in my hair) out of my face. My scalp hurts.

I hope Potter's pants don't fall down without his belt. I'd feel kind of bad then.

Oh, who am I kidding? I'd laugh my head off ... and make sure to get a good look.

Ahh! That was an evil thought. I take it back.

I worked on trying to maneuver my hair over the belt buckle. I swear, if I have to cut off my hair to get this out I will murder Potter. I will kill him dead.

Yes! I got it out! I am the master.

I threw that stupid piece of leather as far as I could down the hall. Strangely enough that act of violence made me feel much better.

"Stupid Divination, stupid crystal balls, stupid Head Boys, stupid tables, stupid belts ..." I muttered, busily listing all of the stupid things I could think of as I stomped down the hall.

I wasn't going anywhere in particular since I didn't quite know what one was supposed to do after getting thrown out of class. Mainly due to the fact I've never been thrown out of class before.

"Stupid Glieson!" I exclaimed, and then I ran smack into someone. I bounced back from the impact a bit, staggering.

"Sorry, Potter," I said, not even bothering to wonder what he was doing out of class. After all, we all know by now that it doesn't matter where he's supposed to be ... he always ends up right where I'll run into him.

"So not only have you insulted my brother by getting your filth on him, but now you dare to imply that I might be a podunk blood traitor?"

Alright, I'm guessing by now you've figured out that I didn't run into Potter. I have no clue who this guy is (much less who this brother person is). But I do definitely know he doesn't like James Potter.

ooo…ooo

Thank you for reviewing! If you're not being chased by a giant carnivorous sunflower (or are otherwise legitimately occupied) please review! It is always much appreciated.

Lorwyn Daystar – sorry I threatened you … I was joking (unless I wasn't in which case I would lock my doors if I were you). I miss you too. You're being a really fast beta reader today … so I was wondering if that was part of some satanic plot between you and the world in an attempt to make me feel like I'm not typing fast enough?

Prongsie-Jamesie – You're right … just look at Lily. Compared to her none of us have to feel insane. Awesome!

Jane – Yes, the not talking was fun, but we have to let them chat it up or Lily will never fall desperately in love with dear ol' Jamesie and that would be devastatingly sad.

slippersRfuzzy – I just had to say I love your name. It's really awesome. Thanks for reviewing.

TajM – Don't forget … make a pros and cons list!

Siriusly Sirius Lily Black – Vampires are cool, but seeing as James isn't one (and for the foreseeable future of my story will not be one) I'm just going to leave the neck thing to the more experienced. Besides, Lily absolutely must have one pet peeve about James and neck kissing sounds like a wonderfully fun one to me. Just think of the possibilities.

Eluding-you – Yeah, I was seriously craving apple fritter and rice cakes when I wrote that. We didn't have any in the house either. We don't have any now either. Rats … now that you mention it I'd rather like one.

MrsDanielRadcliffe – I'm glad you like the mixing charm and bigheadedness.

Skyhoofhearted – Nope, not stalking you. I'm glad you can relate to my story.

Procrastinator-starting2moro – Yeah, it's a great saying. I got it off of Spy Kids.

Thanks and hugs too drummergirl, siriusforeva, GoddessoftheMaan, cuddlyjill, and graceypoo.