The Devil as a Father – Chapter 33
The children had finished their training classes on the new type of communication device, and it was exceptionally popular.
Now people were asking about it; store owners, other members of the ministry, teachers, enchanters, and the teenage children of ministry workers. As a result, Lucifer had to change the phone numbers to 5 digits, instead of 3. He was still 666 though.
Draco and Hermione put their heads together and Trixie nodded wisely. They went home and made an assembly line that included all five of them using magic and made 2 hundred units. They then called Madame Bones and then Madame Longbottom to ask if they minded them selling them to the magical public without the special applications. Both women laughed and told them that they had started a new industry and that it was a good thing.
"If you don't do it, someone else will do it. It has changed so much for us," said Madame Bones.
The children then sat down and decided to raise the price for two reasons: It had been fun making them, but it wouldn't be fun all the time, and it would make people not want to buy it when they had to spend more and pay monthly magical fees. Or so they thought.
The 200 units sold in 3 days after they placed a little advertisement in the Prophet.
Ron stayed up all night and determined new quicker ways to make the units, and they made 2000 more units in just a few days with more magic and a more efficient way to do it.
Neville put in regular maps, a phone book application, and a database program with plants, runes, or detailed potions lists. They raised the price, the monthly fees and now charged a gallon for new applications.
Ron and Trixie together developed a database for quidditch, which they sold for 2 gallons because it had been hard to do, and Ron had run himself ragged doing the development.
Demand went up. Way up.
Ron and Harry stayed up all night working more on how to make the units easily, and Dobby popped in and asked them if they wanted cocoa and cookies? The little elf goblin looked at what they were doing and said, "Do youse need helps?"
Harry looked up, "Do you still have elf friends who need homes?"
"Yes," said Dobby.
"Can you ask them to visit?" he asked politely.
Dobby grinned and showed up with 20 house elves.
Ron and Harry explained how the units worked. They explained the Lucifer Magic, which was running off an invisible satellite in space and bouncing off other invisible satellites in space. Ron explained about the various applications and different ideas they had come up with.
"Do you think you could work on these with us and eventually do it by yourselves?" asked Harry.
The elves squealed and started all hugging the boys in excitement.
"Please bind us to you?" begged the excited creatures. Ron held up a hand.
"We have 5 owners, plus Lord Morningstar, running our company. You should all pick the ones you want as masters tomorrow. Take a few days hanging around invisible and meet Neville, Draco, Hermione, and also watch me and Harry. Draco is master to Dobby, so you should ask Dobby if you would like him (His Mum is really pretty and nice). Then meet with us all and tell us who you want to bond with."
They worked with the elves, and soon had 2000 more units ready for sale, and a list of possible applications.
Then one of the elves said, "Why don't you make a game to play on the phone, like Quidditch?"
"Oh My Freaking Wand, that's a great idea," said Harry.
Ron jumped up and down and danced. "YES, YES, best elf ever". He then picked up the elf, who was called Flopper and hugged him and danced in circles with him. Flopper laughed.
The elves all got excited and started dancing again.
There was a soft cough, and both boys turned to see Lord Morningstar in pajama bottoms looking sleepy.
"Boys, I don't mean to pry, but what are you doing up so late?"
"Dad," said Harry, trying to stifle his excitement. He rushed to his Dad and hugged him and then started to explain. "We keep raising the price for the magiphones, and the demand keeps going up. We have developed a good way to use the design of an assembly line to make them and we got faster, but there are still 20 elves who need homes and they want to make phones for us."
"You want to adopt 20 elves?" said Lucifer, in a really calm voice, looking at the little elves kindly.
"We want them to pick who they'll bond with. Although I really hope Flopper wants to bond with me, he is so smart," said Ron in an excited voice.
"That is both kind and thoughtful of you both. However, it's very late and you should go to your rooms and get enough sleep. Then tomorrow we'll meet with the rest of the Board of Directors and decide how to continue. I appreciate your industry and hard work, but I don't want you to get sick staying up late at night working on the phones."
He turned to the elves and said, "Gentle elves, you are welcome in my house, but please get some rest."
He grabbed Ron and hugged him and then grabbed Harry and hugged him, kissing the top of his head.
"Let me tuck you both in bed," he said, and led them into Ron's room where he tucked him in and kissed the redhead.
Then he did the same with his darling boy, tucking him in his bed quietly, so as not to wake Neville.
The boys had wanted to sleep with each other in the same room, until they discovered Ron snored like a dragon. Then they all played in the same room, but let Ron have a separate bedroom with soundproofing.
Then Lucifer went to bed, where his wife was sleeping with 5 children, Trixie was snuggling Rose, and Chloe was snuggling Daffodil. He quietly got in bed and was immediately grabbed by the two boys who sighed peacefully once they knew he was there.
Lucifer Harry Lucifer Harry Lucifer Harry
The next morning, Neville was helping Trixie set the table, while Ron was baking blueberry muffins. He was in a bit of a sweat, because Harry's muffins were the best in the world, even better than his Mum's (though he would never tell her that), but he wanted to learn to cook and bake, and was hoping to make something good too.
Harry was making ham steaks, Lucifer was making omelets to order, Chloe was juicing oranges, Dan was making breakfast burritos, and Kyn Kyn was making coffee and tea.
Ron checked the oven, and drew out really ordinary looking muffins. He almost wept when Lucifer sniffed the air and said, "Smells delightful, Ron."
He decided presentation wasn't as important as first getting it to taste good.
They all sat down to eat and tucked in. Ron had realized after helping Harry and Lucifer with grocery shopping, what hard work his Mum at home did to keep them all fed on as little money as they had. He was going to ask about setting up his bank account at Gringotts to invest some of his funding, but he wanted to send his Mum and Dad money too.
He tasted one of his muffins and it was much better than restaurant muffins, and the bakery that he had tried and even as good as Mum's, so while it wasn't as great as Harry's, he was pleased and making plans to talk to Harry about ancient secrets of muffin baking.
When they all stopped eating, Ron raised a hand, "Lord Morningstar," he asked, "Can I talk about the elves?"
"Elves as in plural elves?" asked Chloe.
"Yes, Ma'am," said Ron.
Lucifer smiled at him.
"Ron and Harry are hosting 20 house elves," said Lucifer rather laconically, "They need homes or they'll die and haven't found homes since we bought the little ones home, and Ron and Harry need help with Morningstar Farms business deliveries."
"What does that mean?" asked Chloe.
"It means the company is too successful," said Ron, "We can't keep up with the orders. Once they are made, they are indestructible, but making them takes up too much of our time."
Harry looked sort of excited. "We tried raising the rates, and the sales went up, we raised the cost per unit, and the sales went, and we added paying for applications we developed, and the sales went up."
Chloe's eyes began to twinkle.
"Then we got really good at making them. We went from making 200 in a day to where we can make 2,000 in 14 hours if all 5 of us work on it but that's too much time. If the house elves do the work, it won't take as long."
"I can't see us needing 20 elves," said Chloe, still smiling.
"We are going to divide them up, or rather they are going to divide us up and decide who they want to bond with," said Ron, "Otherwise it won't be fair. They should be the ones to choose."
He looked around, "Harry should have more elves because he has a lot of properties that will need someone to help look over. That's a lot of work."
Neville said, "And they can help me with the agricultural floor, so we can grow more fresh food and herbs and magical plants. That's also a lot of work."
They all heard little gasps of pleasure coming from invisible elves.
"How many orders do you have right now?" asked Chloe.
"20,851," said Trixie in a hopeless voice.
Chloe laughed, and then looked thoughtful. "If any of the elves are interested in becoming assistant detectives, please let me know. If this is what you want to do, my little corporate executives, then I will approve with the understanding that you be kind to the elves and treat them as family."
There was an audible gasp.
"If Lucifer approves, then I approve."
Lucifer smiled at the children. "I think our first order of business is to have a board of directors meeting."
The children all squealed, and ran for the elevator. Lucifer had made an empty apartment into a business office/corporate board room. It had a lovely view and the children learned a lot about running business meetings, and making decisions with logic. It had a conference table, and a conference phone imbued with magic that worked in both the no-mag world and the magical world. Lucifer had adapted all their personal phones for that to make things easier.
They all took their places and discussed the elves.
"Can we give them temporary bonds, so if they are not happy, they can choose another Master?" asked Hermione.
"That's a great idea!" said Harry, and then he asked, "Dobby?"
The enthusiastic elf popped in.
"Dobby, if the elves are not sure, can they take temporary bonds, so they get the advantage of magic?" asked Draco.
"We don't want the elves to be unhappy," said Harry.
"Yes," said Dobby, "The elves can all take temporary bonds to start, and then decides," said Dobby.
"Is it hard to get the magic flowing with a temporary bond?"
"If the master is powerful, like Masters Harry, Neville and Trixie, then it is easier," was the bouncy reply.
"Are there different types of bonds?" asked Hermione, "What about Lord Morningstar? Why don't you want to bond with him?"
"There are different types of bonds, and Master Lord Morningstar is the wellspring of all magics, he wouldn't want us," said Dobby and his ears flopped down like a little chastened dog.
Lucifer looked at the little elf, and then said, "That's it. Lucifer loves all the littles elves. Come to me little ones." He held out his arms in welcome.
The room was filled with small elves.
Lucifer stood, "I hereby bond thee with love to serve me until you find more compatible masters. I hereby give thee of my magic to strengthen and heal all woes and pain. I name thee all my friends and companions until you make your choice."
There was a blinding flash, and all the little elves, including Dobby, suddenly looked a little taller, and healthier and glowed.
They began to dance and jump up and down. Lucifer smiled at them, and the children smiled.
"Thank you, Master Lord Pretty Wings, you has even given Dobby new strength," cried Dobby in delight.
"That is because you are my friend, Dobby," said Lucifer.
The elf jumped up and bounced over the table into Lucifer's arms and hugged him.
Lucifer hugged him back and gently sat him down on the floor and returned to his seat.
Draco started laughing, "They gave you a nickname. Lord Pretty Wings."
Lucifer laughed "Better than Whiskers, which is what they called the Bumble."
Next the children made a list of jobs besides the production assembly line. They would need a buyer to buy the parts that would be put in the magical template, a salesperson to take orders, a quality person to check to make sure the phones were perfect before releasing them (henceforth to be known as Quality Elf), a packaging person to mail the phones to their new owners and a person to handle the money. Everyone would be trained in all the jobs. The elves told them what they wanted to do. Flopper wanted to work with Ron, and they got up and danced with one another. Several wanted to work with Draco because of how happy Dobby was now with the family safe from his father. One named Twinkles wanted to take orders and told them she wanted a phone too, because she was sure they would start to get phone orders over the phone. She also assured them she could talk like a human, so no one would give her a hard time for being an elf.
One elf named Web Stringer wanted to work with Neville because she liked plants. Another named Dilly wanted to help Hermione with research. Trixie had twin boy elves (Itty and Bitty) come to her and beg to help her because they loved math and arithromancy, and past masters hadn't thought them capable of something for wizards.
When everyone was assigned a job, they discussed Flopper's idea for making a game. Trixie and Itty and Bitty grabbed Ron and Draco because they knew the game and started planning what they would need. The other elves starting working on fulfilling their orders and seemed very happy.
Since the meeting was over, Lucifer went back to the main penthouse where Chloe was playing with their little ones and teaching them to read at the same time.
Lucifer sat down elegantly on the floor and was attacked by his newest children who kissed him and snuggled him, while climbing into his lap. He joined them in the lesson and he and Chloe blew kisses at each other while the children played a game that actually teaching them about reading and writing as well as letting them have fun.
Lunch was soup and sandwiches. Lucifer made enough for the elves as well. They were astonished when he made the dining room table bigger and had them set with them. "But we is elves," said one, worried.
"You are family and family eats together. Dobby and Winky never showed up when we ate, but that changes this moment. Now turkey or sliced beef sandwiches? Any food allergies?"
Octy and Hercules talked to the elves. Daffodil told them her name was Daffodil and one little elf told her that her own mother had been named Daffodil. The children were soon giggling with the elves. The older children came down and started demolishing sandwiches. They too talked to the elves and Lucifer could tell the elves were really pleased with this treatment.
Then Lucifer received a phone call, and nodded and called Maze, who showed up, looking eager.
"The IRS Auditors have arrived," he announced.
Lucifer, Chloe, KynKyn, and all the children just had to meet the IRS, so they all got into the elevator and traveled down to the main floor where that club was located. Maze was bouncing with excitement.
When they arrived at the main floor, the security team introduced them to a team of tired looking older people with briefcases in business suits. Lucifer looked at Maze, a little worried that she would be disappointed, but instead, she squealed, "Hello, I'm glad to meet you. I'm Mazikeen and I am the Manager and the accountant for the club. Before we get started, we would like to take your photographs so we can make you identification cards for coming into the club."
This apparently was normal, so they went into Patrick's team office and took photographs.
When this was done, Lucifer said, "Let's take a group photo for the children. We're learning how to start a business and run it, and they should understand how important it is to keep accurate accounts,"
This seemed to perk them up a bit and they took a group photo, though they couldn't understand why Maze was grinning so much. Lucifer asked them to talk about how busy the IRS was and the kind of things they looked for. They seemed to enjoy that.
After that she showed them to her office and asked if they wanted to use the little conference room on the third floor. Harry brought them a coffee setup with homemade cookies and muffins, and Maze gave them their new security badges.
"Are you going to audit the children's business too?" asked Maze.
"They have a business?" asked the oldest auditor, his eyes opening wide in surprise.
"Yes, it's the best way to learn about business for the children. They love it. Harry has a little restaurant, he and his friends only run it on weekends for breakfast and lunch. They use the money from the business to support the business and then to feed the homeless." She didn't talk about the other business because that was magical and illegal to discuss with the statute of secrecy.
One of the auditors perked up, "I've heard of this, it's called Magic Meals, and they use their profits to make hot soups and sandwiches and take them to homeless encampments."
They all smiled at Harry. "Are you going to have a restaurant when you grow up?"
Harry grinned, "I love cooking and baking. We're all learning about keeping books, keeping the restaurant up to code, purchasing fresh foods, and all sorts of stuff. We even hired a waitress part time when we got a lot of people interested."
"I taught them to keep records," said Maze, rather proudly. "They learned to do payroll too."
The IRS agents looked impressed, both with Harry and with Maze. Then they sat down and asked for Lux records for different years. Maze went to her computer. "Do you want hard copies or digital copies?" she asked.
They looked at each other and requested digital. "We may want to see hard copies in some cases later, but digital is great for now."
Maze's books were very well kept and they found no errors, questionable items had memos with them explaining anything that was odd or not a normal transaction. The youngest woman auditor commented on that, "Why do have these memos in the file?" she asked.
"Audit trail," said Maze. "I can memorize a lot of things, but if I'm not here, it is good to have complete records of odd transactions, like this shipment of defective whiskey. We were so disappointed and never bought from that vendor again. It was a business loss because it was so awful we could do anything with it."
They seemed bewildered by Maze. "You know," one of them said, "You keep the best books of any place like this we've audited in years."
Maze grinned, "Lucifer taught me. I started out as a body guard, but now help I run the business. Lucifer has a family and I teach them martial arts as well."
The auditors didn't know what to think of Maze. She was dressed to kill in leather and had the body of a goddess. She appeared to be very physically oriented, but she was excited about the audit.
Then they asked for originals and got their first shock. "Um, what are the stains?"
"Blood," said Maze laconically, "Here I have a memo about it. We were all taken hostage by a gunman and Lucifer was shot and bled all over the receipts. I took as good care of them as possible, but the blood did dry on them. Is that okay?"
"Wow," said the older lady auditor, "That's awesome."
"Actually, it's awesome and gross. We have to remember this. The others back at the office will love it."
Their final shock was when they found out that Maze had dedicated the whole tax code to memory and remembered all the changes for the last five years.
When they realized how well Lucifer paid his employees, and the great benefits they had, they were impressed. Then they asked about a non-profit that Lucifer that made. "That's not for the club," explained Maze, "It's to help the non-union employees at the precinct – They were all sent home because of a big scandal with corruption, and didn't have income at the time. So Lucifer made a non-profit, and funded it with his own money to take care of the people on the force who lost their apartments or couldn't make payment. He had a lot move in here, and gave them apartments. We had the best Thanksgiving with more than a hundred people from that. Some of the people have paid him back, and some now live here permanently, as do employees, and pay a nominal rent, which became part of the non-profit. Lucifer and Harry worry about the homeless and try to help them, so providing apartments has been pretty nice."
"And what about all the kids running around. Are they all adopted?" they asked, and leaned forward with more interest.
"Some are, Lucifer and Chloe recently adopted 4 little homeless children, who are so sweet. Lucifer is married to Chloe and her daughter Trixie loves him. Lucifer first adopted Harry, who you met. He's a great kid. The rest of the children are here as family or friend, and Lucifer has the kids all tutored here"
"Why?" asked the oldest auditor.
"Because there is a jerk administrator at the school who tried to get physical with the kids. He scared Harry, who had been horrible abused, and Lucifer decided to take him and Trixie out of school and have them taught at home. I think they learn more here."
"How does he pay the tutors?" asked the youngest auditor, "Out of his personal money," said Maze and then she looks suspicious. "Why all these particular questions?"
The older auditor laughed, "You would make a great auditor. The jerk administrator you mentioned reported the Lux to the IRS as having illegal income. Apparently it was a case of personal revenge, and he had no proof."
Maze gave them an evil grin, "Would you mind if I told Lucifer?" she asked.
"Since it was a case of using Internal Revenue resources for personal revenge, then, yes, I think you should tell your boss. You should know this has been the most fun we've had in years. Your books could be used as a sample of perfection in keeping books."
She picked up her phone and asked Lucifer to come to the conference room.
Lucifer came in with a smile on his face. "Is there any way I can be of assistance?" he asked.
"Most people aren't really this chipper when they come to meet with us," observed the youngest auditor.
He grinned at them, "The little ones are learning to read and write and they think it is a game. They are so adorable," he said happily, "So if we have made a mistake, which I doubt, knowing how smart our Maze is, then that is nothing to seeing those little darlings happy."
The auditor team looked embarrassed, "You've done nothing wrong, and these are wonderful books. Maze could be an auditor if she wanted. She has the whole damn tax code memorized. No, we wanted to tell you that this audit was red flagged by a man at the school district who accuses you of cheating on taxes."
Lucifer's happy mood dropped and the room became cold.
Maze piped up, "They gave me permission to tell you because it is obvious that he is doing it for pettiness and not because we are cheaters."
"I've very glad," said Lucifer mildly, but the room was still cold.
"That horrible man wants to spank my children because of me, because I am rich. He works out his wrath against those who have more than he does on their innocent children. I took the children out of school because of him. Now I see that I must complain about him. I'll call the lawyers and go before the school board. Thank you for telling me."
He smiled absently, but all of them noticed a hint of red in his eyes.
"I wouldn't want to be on his bad side," said the oldest auditor.
"You have no idea," said Maze.