It's not mine; it's all J.K. Rowling's.
Chapter 9: In Which Lily Suffers (Detention)
or
In Which Lily Discovers Not Quite the Bogeyman
Our darling heroine's previous insightful thoughts:
Well that's not exactly true. I mean, I'm not too good for him. And when you get down to it, he's not too good for me. The problem is that we're just not to good for each other.
ooo...ooo
It's 8:29.
I am currently standing outside of Vittles' classroom and debating with myself the merits of jumping off the astronomy tower.
The astronomy tower sounds like a really good idea. If only I weren't deathly afraid of jumping from heights. Heck, I can't even manage the retaining wall in my yard without a panic attack.
I could drown myself in the lake. But that's so messy. I mean, who wants to be buried all bloated and water logged? As a matter of fact, who wants to be buried all flat and pancake-like?
Poison! Now that's an excellent idea. No visible marks and with any luck I could find a fairly painless one.
"Are you standing outside for any particular reason, Miss Evans?" I nearly jumped out of my skin as Vittles' voice sounded behind me. I slowly turned around and eyed his huge form, looming over me.
"No, not really, sir," I said. I'm going to keep this as formal as possible. Maybe he won't make any inappropriate comments if I don't.
"Well in that case, let us adjourn this little meeting to my classroom." I trailed, like a pathetic little puppy, after Vittles as he led the way up to his desk. Once we reached it he didn't sit down, but turned around and leaned back on it, crossing his arms. I had to fight the urge to warn him that leaning on desks is never a good idea and can lead to very bad things (like breaking said desks).
"Your boyfriend isn't here yet," Vittles said.
"He's not my boyfriend," I mumbled. I don't think there's much point in trying to convince Vittles we don't have any feelings for each other. After all, he did see that little hallway scene.
Gods, it's all those stupid magnets fault.
Do you think if I snuck into Potter's dorm I could somehow remove the magnets while he was sleeping? It could work, but where exactly are the magnets? And what if he woke up. That would give a whole new meaning to the word mortification. So, bad idea. It's a pity, I would dearly love to get rid of those magnets, they get me into so much trouble. Like this detention.
Am I going to have to stand here the entire time just staring at Vittles? It's not that he's ugly or anything (must girls consider him to be quite good looking for a middle aged guy), but his personality is certainly lacking in the area of long periods of standing and staring at others. I turned in relief as the door flew open and in walked James.
"Salutations, fair maiden," he said with a bow in my direction. I suppressed a smile and the urge to curtsey in return. "And good evening, wise professor."
"You are late, Mr. Potter."
"Am I?" James said, looking surprised. He looked at his watch (well his wrist really since he doesn't actually have a watch). "My watch says I'm right on time, 8:30 on the dot."
Vittles stared a Potter for a second and I wondered if he was going to call him out for it, but he just shrugged. I kind of get the feeling that James and Vittles do this sort of thing all the time.
As Vittles started heading toward the door I sneaked a glance at my watch. It said 8:30. That should have been impossible. I mean it was 8:29 when I was in the hall. I looked up at James, puzzled, but he just smiled at me and gestured for me to go first in following Vittles.
Once in the hallway Vittles locked the door to his classroom and said, "Tonight we will be patrolling the hallways for couples. A fitting punishment, is it not?"
I wonder if he actually wants me to answer that. I don't think it's particularly fitting. In fact I think it's down right cruel. What could be more tortuous than spending hours with Potter and Vittles. Gods, I was hoping we could just polish trophies or something like that.
So we set off. It was fairly boring work, we just walked up and down the hallways, peeked into broom closets and behind statues. We did catch a few couples, but thankfully they weren't doing anything other than holding hands.
At about 9:30 the hallways were fairly empty except for the odd seventh year hurrying back from the library and I was ready to head back to my dorm. I stifled a yawn and took another glance at my watch.
9:32
"... but of course it all depends if you're comparing for women or men. For women, of course, the answer is clear: Dove ..." Men have the oddest conversations. They've been on the subject of soap for the past 10 minutes or so. Apparently James feels Dove is the soap of choice for women. Oddly enough, that's the sort of soap I use. I wonder if that means something.
"Wait, we have to check that one," Vittles said, interrupting James and gesturing toward a broom closet door.
"I'll do this one," I said. This will be my first one. Normally when I patrol I completely skip broom closets. I figure that it doesn't really matter because I'll just catch them on their way back to their common rooms and not have to bother with the whole dark scary broom closet thing. I had this terrible fear as a child that I would open a door and the bogeyman would jump out.
I grasped the handle as James and Vittles waited patiently. I had the sudden irrational urge to not open this door.
Stop being silly, Lily, I scolded myself, The bogeyman is only a figment of your imagination. I steeled myself (there is no bogey man!), grasped the handle, turned, and pulled the door open.
My jaw dropped.
Oh my gods!
Bless my mismatched pig and shamrock socks!
Not quite the bogeyman, but equally as scaring.
I knew something was up with Ally.
"Ally ... Sirius ..." I stuttered out in shock. They broke off their rather passionate kiss and turned toward me (they also appeared to be in shock).
"I ... I can't believe it," I said. James and Vittles had obviously realized something was up because they both came to peer over my shoulder.
"Holy Sh ... Socks!" James said, cutting off his original word after catching the glare Vittles sent him. "You guys are ... in a broom closet."
That was kind of obvious. Ah well, I'm kind of in shock too. It does explain why Ally has been acting so weird and disappearing. And learning French. Hey, wait … didn't Sirius learn French too? Oh my gods, they're taking French lessons together. That's so adorable. I want a guy I can take French lessons with! That's not fair.
"Detention for the both of you with the groundskeeper tomorrow afternoon and 20 points from Gryffindor."
"Hey, now," James said, "I think the detentions ought to be enough."
Vittles rolled his eyes. "Fine, 20 points from Gryffindor, but only a detention for the gentleman." James gave a snort since Vittles hadn't changed the points he was taking off. "You'll just have to earn the points back at your Quidditch match this Saturday, Mr. Potter. Unless you're not up to it." A challenge. Vittles sure knows how to play Potter's pride.
"That doesn't seem very fair anyway," I said. After all, why should Sirius be the only with a detention.
"Of course it's fair," James and Vittles said together. Those two really spend too much time together. James needs to stop getting detentions.
They're really very similar now that I think about it. Both excel at Defense Against the Dark Arts, both are strong, both have a rather odd sense of humor, both are handsome (to ladies of their respective ages, me exempted), both are athletic, both are excessively prideful to the point it's a fault ... this is kind of creepy. James is nicer, of course, and doesn't enjoy giving homework (obviously since he doesn't do it anyway).
I looked at them. They were both gesturing for the other to talk first.
Finally James pulled a grand gesture/bow of deference and Vittles continued, "If the gentleman doesn't have the decency to find the lady a place to kiss where they won't get caught then he quite deserves a detention." James nodded in emphasis.
"Ohh," I said, as if I had experienced an epiphany even though I rather thought they were both insane, "quite so."
"Wait," I said, a thought occurring to me, "How come I got a detention then?" That was a good question. If Vittles thought James and I were kissing then shouldn't James have had the decency to take me some place we wouldn't get caught.
"I actually thought Mr. Potter chose quite a classy place for your rendezvous. I'd never seen that room before. Admittedly not as roomy as a broom closet, but if it weren't for your rotten luck with exiting practically right on top of me, you'd never have been caught."
"Wait, you caught them kissing too?" Sirius said, gesturing at James and I.
"No!" I screeched, cutting off Vittles and James who were making to answer in the affirmative.
Sirius and Ally looked from me back to them and then Sirius said, "Well, we'll just be going." He started to pull Ally down the hall. Ally gave me a small wave before turning back to follow Sirius.
"Wait, Are you guys going out!" James yelled down the hall after them. I looked at him in surprise. For someone who is normally so smart, he's acting remarkably dense. Of course they're going out. They were making out in a broom closet. They're taking French lessons together. He tied her shoe for her in Divination.
I exchanged a look with Vittles that said "what an idiot" then Sirius popped his head back around the corner.
"Of course we are you dolt." His head disappeared again, then a second later he stuck it back around. "Oh and if you see anybody later would you mind mentioning that we're going out. It's high time we spread it around a bit. Those looks Armstice has been giving Ally make me just itch to slug him, but I can't really if he doesn't know we're going out; can I?" He disappeared again.
"Well," Vittles said, "That's an unlikely match, but they do seem to suit each other, don't they?"
"I've never really thought about it," James said, "But I suppose they do."
"Yes, well, let's carry on. I would like to get this finished with." James and I both nodded.
Gods, that was a really odd experience: catching your best friend making out with a guy you'd always thought she didn't like, in the company of the man you got caught making out with (and don't really like) and the professor who caught the two of you making out (and kind of gives you the creeps).
My life is far too complicated.
"I suppose I agree with you about Dove, but what about for men?"
"Well, of course, what I use!" James said, with a rakish grin, "Irish Spring." He does smell pretty good. In fact, I rather like the way he smells.
Pretending to stumble, I took a quick sniff. Mmm ... very nice. I would kind of like to smell this Irish Spring soap more often. Maybe I should buy some. Or just smell James more often. My steps slowed a bit as I lost myself in thought.
It would be lovely to wake up to that smell every morning with warm, safe arms around me and a sleepy, loving smile to greet me. We could live in a nice little house in the country and commute into London. He could do whatever he wants, be Quidditch star or an Auror or a street cleaner for all I care and I could be a Healer. The house would have to have garden for me and a nice tree enclosed area where James could fly his broom and play Quidditch with his buddies.
There would have to be enough rooms for the kids of course. I would prefer that each child have its own room. It's hard sharing a room and while it does build cooperation, it's mainly a pain in the butt. So that means we have to have at least 4 bedrooms, preferably more. One for James and I and one for the kids. Of course, we'll have to hire a nanny or perhaps I'll work part-time until they leave for Hogwarts. You can't just leave kids running crazily over the countryside. Not that I wouldn't love being a full time mother, but I'd feel so useless if I didn't put my education to use trying to help people (which is probably one of the reasons I want to be a healer).
"MISS EVANS!" I yelped in surprise as Vittles bellowed my name.
"I ... uh ... did you want something?" I can't believe it. I was completely out of it. I didn't hear a word he said and to boot I was fantasizing about marrying Potter and living in some white-picket fence house. It's pathetic enough I was think about Potter (in fact, it's down right disgusting), but a white-picket fence?
Great gods, woman, pull yourself together!
Potter. Ewww! How sick can I get? I don't even like Potter. In fact, it's fair to say I barely tolerate him.
There's someone in my head planting these crazy thoughts and fantasies. I know it!
It's some giant government conspiracy and they're using me as a guinea pig to test out their new mind controlling techniques. What? It could happen ... maybe ... I'm very into self-delusion - have I mentioned that lately?
"We were hoping we could keep moving, but, of course, if you'd rather stand there and stare into space we'd be happy to oblige you."
"Oh, sorry," I said, picking up my feet and hurrying down the hall.
The rest of the detention was unremarkable. We didn't even see another soul.
"Very well, we're done for the night, you may leave," Vittles said, waving his hand in dismissal.
"Until next time, Professor," James said, throwing him a salute. Vittles rolled his eyes and swept off down the hall. James offered me his arm like an old-fashioned gentleman and I took it with a curtsy.
We walked in slow silence back to the common room. It wasn't an uncomfortable sort of silence though; it just felt like there was nothing left to say. Somehow our hands ended up all twisted together. I could have sworn I didn't move mine, but next thing I knew I was practically glued to James' side, my hand firmly grasping his.
You don't suppose that there's Velcro connecting them; do you? It could happen. It's would be a very plausible explanation. I mean why else would I wrap my hand up in his? It would completely explain why I thought I heard a faint Velcro sound as I finally wrenched my hand from his.
Speaking of odd, for some reason I had a hard time letting go after we reached the landing leading to the girl's staircase. That fact definitely supports the Velcro theory. After all, who in their right mind would want to hold hands with Potter? Before I would have blamed my unwillingness to let go on the intrinsic comforting power of his hands, but perhaps it really is the Velcro!
"I can't believe it," James said, breaking the silence that had settled over us. We were both just standing on the landing. I should probably go upstairs, but I don't feel like it. I guess it's because I'm not tired (not that I want to spend more time with James).
"Yeah, I know. Who would have guessed?" This whole Ally/Sirius thing is kind of hard to digest. I mean, she didn't even tell me she liked him. Me! Her best friend. You'd think I would have found out something, even the tiniest inkling of something, before I found her in a broom closet with him.
"Not me."
"No kidding," I agreed.
"Well at least we know why they were acting so odd," James said.
"Yeah, you're right." And he was. He had a good point. Now Ally wouldn't have to lie to me to cover up her relationship anymore. I haven't talked to her in ages or days, I suppose. Ever since this whole magnet/invisible string/Velcro thing started up I don't have enough time for anything anymore. It's all James' fault. If he weren't so darn cute and enticing and ... utterly horrible none of this would have happened (except the Ally/Sirius thing, and Merlin only knows how that happened).
"For the first time ever?" James asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
"I'm sure you've been right before ..." I said in a mock thoughtful tone of voice, " ... although, nothing comes to mind."
"Hey!" James cried indignantly.
"You asked." I reminded him.
"Yeah, I did," he said with a smile, and then our eyes met.
He was pulling me in again, his stupid hazel eyes were like whirlpools pulling me further and further in. His lips brushed mine and before I knew it his arms were securely around my waist. He pulled back to take a breath and I immediately dragged his lips back to mine. He doesn't really need oxygen all that much anyway.
Then it hit me ... whirlpools, sure they're nice and pretty and they pull you in, but then don't you die in a swirling vortex of water!
I wrenched away using all of the strength I had. Those darn magnets make it so hard to pull away! If I'm going to continue my analogy to a whirlpool, this is like trying to swim away from the whirlpool ... and if we're going to be truthful, I'm starting to wonder if I know how to swim.
I fought the desperate urge to kiss him again. He looks so darn adorable with his hair all mussed and his chest rising and falling quickly trying to make up for his lack of oxygen due to my overzealous kisses ... ARGH!
Why am I thinking like this? I have to get away. Now!
I turned and barreled up the stairs. Thank the founders for not trusting boys! This is the one place in the school Potter can't follow me.
It's a pity I can't say that about girl's bathrooms anymore.
ooo...ooo
Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed detention as much as I did. If you aren't in detention or being sucked in by whirlpools a review would be appreciated!
Daystar – You know, if you just hadn't told me you didn't review I probably would never have noticed. I am rather forgetful. Yes, indeed the obsession would definitely be James. And my obsession would be goldfish. I need to put a goldfish in this somewhere. Maybe. Maybe not. Probably not, it doesn't sound like a very good idea.
Withered Quill – We will find out about James' feelings, although the whole fic will take place from Lily's point of view.
genuinescence – I keep post-its in my bag too!
TajM – No worries. I'm more than sure I got Tristan from someone else's fic. I can't honestly remember; it just works so well, doesn't it? You don't need to do a disclaimer or anything; I don't care in the least.
FireDemonKitsune84 – Thanks. I honestly have no idea what to tell you about how I write. Practice, I suppose, but that sounds so boring. Hmm … well, truth be told I get all of ideas from this talking fish that lives with my neighbors and was a ninja in his past life. Much more interesting that way.
Shattered-Serenity – I know what you mean about people looking over in class. I had the most humiliating experience when this one stupid git (ex-boyfriend sort of git) who was sitting in front of me STOLE my journal and started reading it out loud. I have never been so humiliated in my entire life (well, for that day anyway). He didn't get that it was fanfiction. Ugh. Sorry if Skittles was disturbing, I was more trying to set him up as sort of a mentor figure for James. I realize he came off as a bit harsh earlier and he really isn't all that bad, yet.
x-woman1 – Lily has now just finished her second day of the week from hell (or the week from heaven, depending on when exactly you ask her).
HauntedAngel – There was a bit of Sirius-ness in this chapter, but he's really not a main character. He will play a bit of a role in the ending. Sorry there's not more.
devOtion – Yes, Vittles did come off as a bad guy. I was kind of aiming for him to be a strict professor who treats James like a younger brother, sort of. Obviously I failed, but hopefully that last scene straightened it out a bit.
Thanks and Hugs: Duck-a-roo, HarryluvsMoaningMyrtle, GoddessoftheMaaN, Unlikely-to-bear-it, Kiyda, hawaiiangirl, Lady-Slytherin-Warrior, siriusforeva, rubic-cube, sodafizzz19, FrEgOrGeLuVeR225, PsychoLeopard, Akt5us, october tuscany, animefreak123, Siriusly Sirius Lily Black, lilypad-7879, Procrastinator-starting2moro, graceypoo, Sango-Inu-Yasha-lover, skyhoofhearted, Kuddls, Stinky Stan, CherryWolf7, Sarah Garner, and Shelley DeVri.