Sorry this took forever but my summer has been more busy than expected. No, I have certainly not given up on this story. I am, infact, close to wrapping it up... I think. Anywho, thank you for all those lovely people who stick with me and give me hope. THANK YOU!

A personal thank you to AmeliaLee who REALLY got me off my lazy butt and back to typing. Your review really helped me! Thank you so much. SO... this chapter is for you. It is my longest yet. I hope you enjoy it!

Same disclaimer as usual. And if you are still planning on trying to say that I took all rights to Harry Potter you are- simply - insane... not that that is always a bad thing. :)

Second Thoughts

Courtney woke to the sound of...

Nothing

She was completely alone in the too-white hospital wing. She found it rather odd that there was not even the slightest sound of chatter from the other side of the great wooden door.

"Creepiness." She shivered as her own voice echoed through the large room. She glanced around. Her eyes landed on a small vase with beautiful purple flowers. She smiled. So she was not alone in the castle.

Shifting her weight around in bed, she prepared herself to leave. If there was no one to yell at her to stay, then there was really no reason to. Slowly she put her weight on both feet. A groan escaped her as she closed her eyes. So her leg was in worse shape then she had originally thought.

The hallways were empty of both students and teachers. She vaguely wondered what time it was. Or, for that matter, what day it was. A harsh voice boomed in a nearby hall, echoing through the deserted walkways.

"It's your fault! If it was not for you, she would be fine!"

Courtney could tell that voice from anywhere. How many times had she heard that sort of tome come out of him? With her around, hard to say. With a sigh she hobbled down the hallway, leaning against the wall for support. She was not sure she could stop them but she had to at least try. There simply was no telling what sort of stunt either of the sides would attempt.

"Shove off, Snivellus! She is fine!"

She rounded the corner. Standing before her, twenty feet away, was Severus with his wand pointed at a livid Sirius. James, and Peter stood behind Sirius, wands at the ready. Remus was hanging back away from Sirius. His eyes were wide with shock.

How many fights are they going to have because of me, honestly!, she thought to herself as she watched from a distance. With any luck, Severus was just making a big deal out of nothing. She had been in worse situations before, this was nothing new... to her at least. She waited for the right moment to interrupt. Whether that be when she felt the need or when someone threw the first punch or curse.

"Fine? She has been in bed unconscious for four days! Is that fine to you!" he shouted angrily. Courtney winced. Alright, so he was not exaggerating too much. His face turning a slight color of pink, she sighed. She had only seen him this upset once before when she had almost gotten herself killed. Of course, this was a younger Severus and things were different. No doubt he had not witnessed all the blood and killing his future self had.

The group of boys seemed to be questioning Sirius' statement.

Sirius, however, stood firm. "You weren't there! You have no business to say anything. You-"

Severus stepped forward, his face contorted with rage. "Don't think I know? Of course, I do. Dumbledore has me hush-up about it but I know, just the same. I saw you leave that night, wolf."

This made Remus panic. He stepped forward from his silent position at last. He outstretched his hands towards Severus, almost pleadingly. "Severus, you wont say anything... please, don't say anything."

"Don't worry, Moony, we wont let him," Sirius growled as he glared dangerously at Severus.

Severus eyes glanced from the black-haired man to the wolf. His eyes twinkled with a twisted sort of glee. This was his opportunity to get revenge for all the things they had done to him. "This gives me a good reason to. You attacked a student. The Ministry would not be happy with you or Dumbledore."

Remus paled. He looked at his friends, who all looked back with concerned, yet determined stares. Severus would do it, they knew he would. Courtney watched as Remus swayed to the side slightly. James rushed forward to steady him.

Severus chuckled. "Yes, I have half the mind to-"

"But you won't." They whipped around to see Courtney standing near the wall.

Severus, not paying any more attention to the others, rushed to her side. "What are you doing? Shouldn't you be in the hospital wing?" he pressed a hand to her forehead to check her temperature. All signs of hate and anger had fled. His black eyes were filled with a gentle concern as they looked over her face. "Your leg is bleeding!"

She glanced down at her led. The walk had taken more effort then she had expected. She had felt the cut slowly rub against her pant material on the way up the stairs. Now it had seeped through her pants and left a bright red splotch. There was only a dull ache. She shrugged, "I'm fine."

"No, you are not. I'm taking you back. You need rest," he insisted as he wrapped an arm around her to support.

"Severus, I'm fine, really."

He looked down at her, searching her eyes. His heart melted as she looked up at him with those stone-grey pleasing eyes. Damn it! So much for that idea! , He thought as he glanced away. His black eyes left her to search the other faces. They stared intently at the two of them. He could not force her to do anything that she did not wish to. No doubt the stupid dunderheads would not allow him to escort her to the hospital wing anyway.

The tight grip around her softened and then stopped entirely. He silently shook his head.

"Thank you, but I am fine."

Severus turned to her so the others' views were blocked. He lowered his voice and bent his head toward her. "Courtney, I want you to be extra careful. He... he is not what you think he is. He is dangerous. Please, I don't want to see you hurt again." He found himself unable to tell her exactly what he was. Someone is turning soft, he frowned at the thought.

"I will be careful, don't you worry about me."

With a final look at the other men he left toward the dungeons.

Courtney turned to her friends. Sirius held his menacing gaze in the direction of Severus' exit. His wand hand's knuckles were starting to turn white from the death-grip on it. James was looking in the opposite direction up a flight of stairs. Peter looked dumbly at his unused wand. Remus was... missing. Crap! Where did he go, she thought searching her friend's faces.

James glanced at her and pointed up the stairs, as if sensing her thoughts. Not waiting for the rest, she sprinted, as best she could, up the stairs. "Courtney, wait! He..." She did not slow down. The long, spiral stairs led her to a portion of the school she had never seen before.

She opened the only door. It led to a small, dark unused classroom. She allowed her eyes to adjust to the dark surroundings. There were several tables that lined the far wall and the head of the classroom. A hush sigh floated to her ears from the far corner. Silently she closed the door behind her.

Her feet softly padded against the cold stone floor as she made her way across the room. Almost unnoticeable, in the corner, sat a heap of robes. One would think it was an old pile of ratty blankets if they had not been for the occasional quick gasps for breath.

Courtney bit her bottom lip. She felt her throat constrict painfully. This was not going to be easy. She knelt beside him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Remus? Are you alright?"

Her voice startled him and he looked up. His eyes brightly shined even in the darkness. Seeing that it was her he quickly looked away. His gaze met the floor and rested there. "I...I did not mean to... I'm sorry. If I could have it my way...I ... I wouldn't be here."

She swallowed with unimaginable difficulty. She took a seat across from him, drawing her legs under her to sit on them. "Remus, don't say that. School would be absolutely miserable without you. Besides, you can't blame yourself. It really was not your fault." She managed to force a smile on her face. Bending her head lower, she listened for his answer.

Remus just shook his head. "No, it's not... you don't understand." He got to his feet without looking at her, for fear that she would be angry with him or he had hurt her even more. He wanted so much to just leave and hide. He wish none of this had ever happened. All he had to do was walk out of the room and go to the boy's dorms. Yet, he found himself unable to leave her alone.

"Remus, I do understand. It was not your fau-"

He spun around to face her. His amber eyes glowing in the darkness of the room. "You don't understand. Courtney, I would never want-" he broke off, turning away from her. A sigh escaped him as he brought a hand up to run through his golden hair. "I would never want to hurt you because... because I love you," he mumbled, finally facing her again.

This had almost been obvious to her the past month. He had said and done certain things normal friends would not have done. In the back of her mind she had been expecting it but now that he voiced it, made it real... she was speechless.

He must have caught on to some of her feelings for he knelt beside her. "I am sorry that I have to put you in this situation. You are the first person that I have gotten really close to and..." he trailed off. He looked into her blue eyes before looking away. There was a knot in his stomach that refused to subside. "It's just hard for someone ... like me to not get attached to people. I don't want to get close to people. Things happen and... I don't want that happening to you."

A click made both of them jump. Remus shot up and looked at the door. Sirius stood in the doorway. His blue eyes took in the sight before his cheeks turned slightly pink. "Oh...I...um. Sorry, wrong room." His last statement seemed like more of a question than anything else.

Remus headed for the door slowly. "No, Sirius, it's fine. We were leaving." Without a look back the young worn looking man walked past Sirius and into the hallway. Sirius watched as his friend left.

Courtney's eyes traveled from the doorway to the dusty floor in front of her. For some reason she felt empty. She immediately wrapped her arms around her self in an effort to keep out the cold that had washed over her.

"Hey, kid." She looked up, startled. Sirius had crossed the room and was at her feet, his hand outstretched to her. "It's alright, let's go. You need to get to the hospital wing again, anyway."

Courtney slowly took his hand and stood up. "Thanks, Padfoot." They walked out together, Sirius' arm wrapped around her. Sirius sighed as she continued to protest her return to the hospital wing. Though he knew it was the best thing for her he allowed her to return to the common room. He just knew he was going to get hell from the staff for helping her get away from the hospital wing.

The air became cooler, it seemed, almost over night. Students were all in a buzz about the upcoming quidditch season and possible players that tryout. Also, the first trip to the small village, Hogsmeade, was coming up very shortly. The students, that had signed forms, were always excited to revisit the place. Not only was it good to get out but they also had nice shops filled with goods and sweets.

Severus wrapped his black cloak closer to him. The wind wiped around as he sat in the stands watching the small figure fly around. Even after five days he was still nervous about her condition. She had refused, many times, to return to the hospital wing. He had tried telling her that if her leg did not receive the proper treatment that it would only make it take longer to heal. She had not listened to a word he had said until he mentioned that the team might not want a player who was injured.

The short trip to the hospital wing told her that she had been foolish in leaving early, and without anyone knowing. Her leg was healing fine, though, and she had permission to compete in the tryouts.

The girl landed several yards away. She smiled at him as she approached. "Think I did ok?"

He nodded his head, "like I have said hundreds of times before, you are good. There is no doubt in my mind that you will make the team." The wind picked up again, making his long hair blow around. He smirked as her teeth started to chatter. She had insisted on wearing "movable" clothes. Unfortunately, they were not very warm at all.

"Let's go inside before I have to take you to the hospital wing again." She nodded, teeth still chattering slightly. He wrapped his cloak around her shoulders as they walked up to the castle.

"Severus?"

He glanced down at her. "Yes?"

"If you ever take me to that stupid room again, I will kill you." He smirked and rolled his eyes as he held the door open for her.

She waited for him to close the door behind him. She took the warm, thick cloak off herself and handed it to him with a smile. "Thanks, not just for the cloak but for helping me. I really hope I just don't screw up at tryouts." This statement caused her mind to wander to all the quidditch moves that she had not gotten to the point of perfection. She bit her lower lip nervously.

"Courtney," Severus said trying to get her attention. She snapped out of her thoughts and looked at him. "You will do great. Don't worry about it. If you go out there and mess everything up they will still have to have you on the team." She looked at him puzzled. He sighed. "You do everything wonderfully. Even though you might think you messed up, you still did great. You will be fine."

Severus walked her towards the Gryffindor common room. She still seemed nervous but not as much. He decided to take her mind off the upcoming tryouts. "Are you going to Hogsmeade when the first date comes up?"

It was apparent that she had forgotten all about it or had hardly given it any thought. "Uh...I don't know. I suppose so, if my parents signed the paper. I don't know..." she trailed off. He looked down at her before averting his eyes to the empty hallway ahead. For what seemed the hundredth time when he was with her his stomach started to ache. His hands, which had been behind his back casually, started to sweat.

"I am probably going to go. I usually do." He cursed himself. How stupid did that really sound. If it sounded half as bad to her as it did to him then he was in trouble. "I think... I mean... you should go, too."

She looked at him with a sweet smile. "I hope I can go. It sounds like fun. I will have to talk to Dumbledore when I get time."

He sighed to himself as they reached the stairs that would eventually stop at the Gryffindor Tower. It is now or never, Severus he thought to himself. No, he could go the next time with her if he did not go the first time. Or one of the four arses might already have thought about asking. With this in mind a new determination filled him. What would he say to her? I think you are cute and I would really like to go with you to Hogsmeade, before one of those dumb arses do. No, best leave the last part out. The first part was fine... No! He couldn't tell her he thought she was... Why did it have to be so complicated?

Just say it already!

Taking a deep breath he ...

"I think you are..."

NO!

"You should go out..."

NO!

"I like your dumb arse to go to Hogsmeade."

...totally screwed up.

Courtney stopped, shocked, and looked at him. He had paled several shades and stood with his mouth gaping like a fish. "What?" she asked.

"That is not what I meant!" To his surprise she started to laugh hysterically. Relief spread over him. She was not mad, she actually thought it was funny...no, she thought what he had said was funny. Did she think he was stupid? He took the moment in which she was gasping for a breath to also collect his breath, and thoughts.

"What I meant was, would you like to go to Hogsmeade... with me?" For such a short sentence someone could really screw it up.

She smiled at him. "Well, you certainly do have a charm with people, don't you?"

His brow furrowed. She did think he was an idiot. There was no point in persisting his attempts. "Never mind, I will go-"

"Of course, I would like to go with you. I have to see if Dumbledore will let me first." She switched her broom to her other hand and linked arms with him. He was somewhat surprised as she continued their walk to the Common Room, dragging him. "Sure, I will go. That is if you promise to watch my tryouts. You know, as a sort of good luck type thing."

Severus stopped at the portrait that led the Gryffindors to their dorms. He gave her a small smile. "I was going to watch the tryouts anyway, but since you promised you have to go with me." Courtney nodded, "and I will."

Courtney walked into the common room hoping to get a nice shower and relax time before she had to go down for lunch and finish her work. Sirius and James were sitting next to the fire huddled over a piece of parchment.

"What are you two up to now?"

They both looked up at her. "Nothing," they both replied in unison.

Sirius glanced at James, who was conspicuously putting the paper in his pocket. "How was your practice? Still planning on trying out for the team, right?"

She nodded, "Yeah, I hope I do ok." She paused and glanced around the room. "Where's Remus and Peter?" Peter had been leaving the group more often and Remus had been avoiding her for the past few days.

Sirius shrugged as he grabbed a chess board that was on the table and started setting it up. "Peter is off somewhere and Remus is up in the common room doing something. He said he was going to do his work up there." He glanced up at her, his eyebrows raised. She could tell just as much as he could that Remus had tried not to get in to contact with her.

Taking this as a hint, she put her broom aside and headed for the boy's dorms. "Courtney," she paused to look back at the two boys. "Lunch is in fifteen minutes, don't want to be late." James did not glance up but kept his eyes glued to the chess board, the pieces pushing each other to get to their correct spot.

The boy's dorm had four beds that made a semicircle along the far side of the wall. The closest bed to the left of her had decorations of many quidditch posters that lined the wall. The trunk at the end of the bed was halfway open, clothes were hanging out at all ends. An odd colored cloak laid near the trunk, waiting to be used the next time one of the guys decided they needed to sneak around.

The next bed had many fine clothes laid out on the blankets and on the surrounding floor. A chest at the foot of the bed was made of fine, rare wood and was labeled with a gold family crest. Many elegant robes hung out of the chest like the previous. Several expensive looking books that had been bind with special care sat on the side table.

The middle bed had creamy-tan blankets that looked as if they had seen far too many days. Unlike the previous two, the trunk was worn. The leather binding was ripping at the corners, and the metal corner covers, that had once gleamed golden, were tarnished and turning a rust color. The trunk was open to reveal a neat, but small, stack of worn robes. Many of which had been repaired with other pieces of clothe that did not match the color exactly.

Courtney's eyes left the objects that surrounded the bed and landed on the bed itself. A skinny and equally worn young man laid stretched out on the blanket covers, still fully dressed in robes. As she approached she saw that the boy's complection was increasingly better, though he had several new scratches. Taking extra care, she sat down at the edge of the bed.

Pity rose up in her as she thought about what he had said to her. If he could not allow himself to be near people, then how were they suppose to get to know him? Getting her courage, she raised her hand to his face and brushed the golden hair away from his closed eyes. As she expected his eyes slowly opened to focus on her.

His eyes widened and he shot up into a sitting position. "Courtney! What... what are you doing in here?" His breath was still slightly fast from the scare.

"This seemed to be the only way I would be able to see you. I wish you would stop ignoring me." She looked away to the wall as he struggled to collect himself.

He leaned forward to rest his head in his hands against his raised knees. "I truly don't want to ignore you. If things were different I..." he trailed off and glanced up at her.

She sighed without looking at him she said, "don't act like things aren't normal. I want to get to know you better, yet you push me away." She rose from the bed and walked to the door. "Lunch is in ten minutes. Why don't you come down with us?"

Remus sighed to himself and laid back down. Tired even more than before. He had not only let himself down again, but he had hurt her more. He closed his eyes as a familiar pain threatened to rush to his eyes, and constrict his throat. He moaned as he raised himself from the bed.

The four of them sat at the table with limited and awkward talks. Courtney raised her eyes to search the Slytherin table that was beyond Sirius' shoulder. Lucius was again with the mysterious girl that was familiar. She prodded Sirius with her fork.

"Ouch! If you want my attention, just say something." He said gingerly rubbing his arm and inspecting the damage.

"It's her. That's her, over there, by Lucius." She whispered ignoring Sirius' grumbling about abuse.

Without warning the three boys turned their attention to the Slytherin table. Courtney ducked down and scolded them for making it so obvious.

"That is Valisa Swift, she is same year. Some rich girl from a pureblood family." James explained as he turned back nonchalantly to his chicken and ham pie.

"Her family is nothing but trouble. Her whole family has been supporting the dark side ever since there was one. She even has the Dark Mark. She shows it off too. Only to students, of course." Sirius filled in without a second thought. "Why do you want to know?"

Courtney sat silent and stared at the young woman next to the nasty blonde haired man. The resemblance was clear now. The mysterious woman was now placed in her mind where she could remember how she recognized her. She had no idea. Was she ever suppose to find out if this had never happened? Then what did people think of her? Was she, too, considered a dark child?

"Courtney?" Remus said with concern as he shook her gently. She blinked several times and looked at him with question. "Are you alright? You short of just froze."

She looked at the other two. They were also looking at her with concern. She nodded and looked at her plate. "Yes, I'm fine."

The three exchanged looks before again looking at her. She, however, did not return the look, or say a single word. Courtney remained pretty quiet for the rest of the night until she announced that she was going to go to bed. The three guys all said their good-nights with raised concern as she walked out of the room like a zombie.

To the relief of the three boys that had been present, Courtney was filled with higher spirits the next morning. They did not know if it was because she truly felt better or if her nerves had pushed the trouble temporarily out of her mind.

Peter had returned late the night before. He was in a bitter mood, this was becoming more and more normal as time went on. His disappearances were becoming more frequent. The time he spent with the Marauders was becoming less and less. This had the guys worried, though Courtney seemed calm about it. She almost seemed to like his absence more than when he was present.

Courtney was closely tailed by Sirius, James, Remus, and Severus as she walked to the quidditch pitch. There was quite a number of people who were trying out for positions. As the four young men took their seats in the stands, Severus sitting away from the other three, she mounted her broom. She still insisted on using James' broom until she was certain she was on the team. James looked like he was going to go into cardiac arrest when she explained to him that it was a waste of money if she did not make the team.

The tryouts lasted longer than she had hoped but as the tests progressed she thought less about how long she had been sitting on the broom. She had gotten over thirty out of thirty-five quaffles past the Keeper, and was second runner up for the position in the performance test. The written test, which she had not expected, she had gotten a perfect score on.

Sirius and James rushed out onto the field as she landed. They were already congratulating her on doing a great performance. She shrieked as James helped Sirius lift her onto his shoulders. Remus, who had held back on the sidelines, laughed as she clung to him like a scared cat.

"Guys! Put me down! You know I hate that! Ah! Put me-" She screamed as Sirius pretended to drop her off his shoulders. Severus smiled up at her panicking form as she passed by. To her great relief, Remus had managed to convince Sirius to release her halfway to the castle. She teased Sirius and James by walking with Severus the rest of the way, knowing they would not go near him.

"This, ladies and gents, calls for a celebration!" Sirius roared to the entire of Gryffindor Tower as they reached the common room. Most of the students were, however, outside, in the library, snogging somewhere, or did not care.

Courtney decided that she was going to shower before they started the "party". Remus stayed in the common room as Sirius and James took their leave to the kitchens. By the time Courtney had finished and was presentable, the three of them had managed to turn the common room into a food area, dance area, and whatever they wanted to do with the extra room. Several students, who had been forced to leave or join in, had taken interest in the upcoming event.

Courtney smiled as she entered the common room and her friends greeted her. She flushed a bright pink as James announced her wonderful performance on the quidditch tryouts. There was a few claps and loads of chatter that filled the room.

Music had been playing and students took advantage of what room they had and started dancing. Courtney was content standing on the sidelines watching. She watched as Sirius approached her with a wicked smirk on his face.

"My, aren't we looking ravishing?"

She kept herself from laughing. She had dressed herself in jeans and a comfortable tee-shirt. "What are you playing at, Mr. Black?"

He raised his eyebrows at her. "I would be honored if I could have this dance." He held out his hand to her and smiled. She could not help but giggle as he led her to the "dance floor" and started slow dancing with her. To her surprise he was a very good dancer, as far as she could tell. She paused as he slid his hand down her back and winked at her. There were several whistles and catcalls as he dipped her and gave her a peck on the cheek.

She was blushing furiously as he walked her to the food. "I hope that did not bother you," he said giving her a look of worry.

She shook her head and flashed him a smile. "It was fun, though I do believe rumors are going to start to fly." As she said this she glanced around the room. There were already girls who were pointing and whispering to other girls that were absent at the time.

"Don't worry. The rumors won't go far," he assured her with a playful nudge.

Courtney spent the rest of the time avoiding prying eyes from girls and standing at the sidelines. She glanced to her right. Remus quickly turned his head away and was now focusing on the opposite wall. A pang of guilt rose up in her. He was always there, the sidelines.

A wave of exhaustion washed over her. She walked over to Sirius and James who were talking excitedly, with Butterbeers in hand, about some girl. They stopped as she came in front of them.

"Thank you, but I am going to go to bed. You really did not have to do this, but I do appreciate it greatly." She gave both of them a hug in turn before saying good-night. Her eyes locked on Remus who was still by the far wall. His eyes looked her up and down before turning to the other occupants of the room.

She walked over to him with a small twist in her stomach. She paused before him. He looked at her with what looked like sorrow. "Thank you, Moony. You guys are too good to me." She did not wait for a reply, but wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. She could feel the hesitation as he moved to enclose his arms around her.

"It was really nothing, Courtney." He whispered as she hugged her. For the first time in days he felt a smile creep onto his face, and he closed his eyes.

She broke away with a smile. "I'm going to bed. Don't party too long. Good-night."

He mumbled a good-night and watched as she ascended the stairs to the girl's dorm. With a content sigh he closed his eyes and leaned against the wall. He opened his eyes as muffled shouts came from the other side of the room. Sirius and James were having a good time taking advantage of his moment.

"Go Moony!" Sirius yelled followed by a dog-like howl.

"You animal!" James added with a shout.

Remus could feel his face getting warmer. Trying his hardest to hide his growing smile, he turned his back to them and inspected the food. Why did they always have to be like that?

There, done! I hope you liked! If not, please tell me what you would like to see. I am always open for input! Thank you again! I loves you all!