CHAPTER 1: MUSHROOMS IN THE KINGDOM
There was frozen kimchi lodged deep behind the cupboard. It reeked of the oils of unpleasant odors. John took his hand and twisted the jar's lid.
"Take off the lid," a voice said deep within John's subtle mind. He itched at the thought of the unravelling tapestry of enigma. This mystery had foiled him long enough. It was time to end it.
Mario was in the corner, looking at John through his "M"-embroidered balaclava. He was musing the entire kimchi situation from start to finish. The end was not near, thus he continued his silent musings.
John kicked the lid hard. His toes twisted until the lid was thoroughly unscrewed. He cackled deeply in his lower larynx until the eruption of bile from his agitation was finally quelled.
A slight tear formed in the midst of Mario's right duct. He sniffled a little since his nose was suffering from a past common cold. It was flu season after all and his allergies were acting up something fierce ever since John just had to bring home that dang ugly cat. Mario hated that cat.
BOWSER
Suddenly, I was in a small room, working on my crochet. My son Junior would have greatly appreciated such genuine servitude towards his enrichment. What a good little lad...
Yet, I still hear those horrid cries of agony in my head, tousling my sick mane like I'm some sort of wild equine. I despise the shortcomings I may have. I mean, I was part of the lowest tier in Melee. Nowadays, most of the pros consider me a pretty decent, well-rounded heavy. I agree with them. After all who has got the ultimate strength and power when it comes to my awe-inspiring physique. Yeah, there ain't no one who can topple the Koopa King!
I have to ponder other things... Like my nails. They need trimming, yet they also need a quarter inch added, mostly on the thum.
Thum.
Thum.
THUM!
What in the world is going on here!?
Why can't I speak proper words?
I meant "THUM"!
DANG IT ALL!
I CANNOT SPEAK!
Where is the " "? The " " for owser?
It's gone!
Why?
Who did this?
Was it Kamek and his heinous wizardry?
Nah... It's gotta e that pond gack of a freak-show mustache dwee Mario!
GAH! It's so hard to speak without my " "!
What shall I say to my eloved Junior? He will e so sad to know that his old man is without a lip that can articulate with the utmost grace.
Maye I need to use "V" as it is quite a suitale replacement for such a predicament as this.
Yeah...
I'll try this then...
Hello everyone... My name is Lord Vowser...
...
What a horrile night to have a curse...