CHAPTER 2: LUIGI & EVIL
Luigi was in his chair (sofa) still bingeing House reruns until the cattle came home.
"Where have the cows been?" Luigi asked himself in a stupid manner akin to Bob's fat wife from Open Season.
Luigi then felt really bad because he just thought about Bob's wife, calling her fat. It was so rude, so he walked to the bathroom and pulled out a bar of soap (ginger-scented). He squeezed the soap hard in his white-gloved palm. It seeped into the crevices in his left ear canal. He let it ooze down ever so slowly until he was assured that his brain was perfectly cleansed. This atonement was such a headache, but somebody had to do it. After all...
LUIGI WAS SIN
Luigi wept as he realised the horrible truth. He then yawned. It was way past his bedtime.
He slipped on his pajamas and went to bed (green). He saw his older brother Mario in the bed (red) beside him. He smiled at the thought of his good brother's wholesomeness. Mario had such a pure heart and never called anyone fat. He never even did it in his mind. Since Luigi could read minds, he knew this for sure. Mario didn't even think Wario, DK, or Bowser were fat, and he HATED those guys.
"Why does he have hatred if he is the embodiment of true, undeniable purity though?" Luigi sighed in a daze of hysteria. He shook his head, his bulbous nose jiggling around like bowl full of jelly (grape).
Luigi sneezed. His eyes widened as he felt his heart stop instantly and then resurge. "I wish you didn't do that..." he murmured to his most vital organ (heart, not brain).
Luigi sure was tired. He was starting to ramble like a bowl of alphabet soup.
What a night it had been...
Luigi remembered how he and his brother (Mario) had just taken down another ferocious evil. Bowser was finally ousted from the Mushroom Kingdom after five long months of a warrior's war and now it was time for the great red and green heroes to rest easy. This was their handsome reward.