Chapter Twelve: Why can't I?
"Listen, it's understandable she didn't remember," Blaise said to Draco as they walked back to their Common Room to drop off their bags before dinner the next day. Blaise had been telling Draco this since he met him in class yesterday and Draco had explained what happened in the Hospital wing, "She did fall seven flights,"
"Yeah," Draco sighed giving the password to the portrait of Medusa.
"So since she's awake now do you think Ron and Harry have told her?" Blaise asked.
"I don't know, probably… but since when have we been on a first name basis with them?" Draco asked as they headed to the boys dormitories.
"I've been on a first name basis with them since I've been forced to work with them; since you have to be Hermione's partner. It's rude to use last name terms when your forced to do a project with some one…so I decided to be nice," Draco shook his head, "And also on the subject of yesterday, I forgot to tell you-," Blaise said reaching in his bag, "I picked this up for you at lunch,"
They dropped their bags off in their own rooms. After shutting his door Draco took the paper and read it. He looked at Blaise, "Blaise, I don't think-,"
"Look, I'll help you. What other choice do you have?"
"Facing my father?" Draco said with a loud exhale.
"Exactly," Blaise stated. "So let's get to the library after supper and we'll get this done,"
Draco shook his head two hours later in the library, "I can't do this," he said slamming the book in front of him shut. He crossed his arms and laid his head in them. It's just not possible, I can't do this. I will never be fit for this trip.
"It's not difficult Draco, just imagine the consequence of not doing this," Draco rose his head, sighed in realization and opened up the book. As he sifted through interesting facts once again Blaise smiled.
After Draco had written down facts that would support his essay he gave them to Blaise to review, "There are great. Now you just need to fill out your reasons for wanting to go here," He directed on the application, "write what you've just written here," he went further down the page with his index finger, "with some stable sentences to make them go together to show more knowledge, and some goals and average marks you have…that's about it,"
"About it?" Draco said shaking his head and began to write on the application. But once he began writing it wasn't so hard. He put reasons he would actually be going if he wasn't being scared into the trip. He laced them with goals such as enriching his mind and increasing his knowledge in the Ancient Ruins studies. Once he was done he got Blaise to revise it although as he watched Blaise intently read he began to get those unavoidable negative feelings back. Why do I insist on doing this? Why? It's just a waste of time. I should be preparing for the certain future.
"Draco this is like gold!" Blaise said surprised.
"Blaise," Draco sighed, not ready to put up with false implications that lead to the fact he may return back to Hogwarts in one piece.
Blaise smiled and shook his head, "honestly, I have never read any thing like it." Draco smiled at his friends dramatics and accepted the fact it might just be good, "I don't even think Hermione could top that,"
"Granger," Draco corrected sternly, "can top any thing. Even if she is…muggle born,"
"Okay, maybe she can. But I must admit, with this paper you'll be in Rome and studying Ancient Ruins in no time at- did you just say muggle born instead of mudblood?"
Draco dismissed these words with the wave of his hand, "Don't look too much into it. If your insinuation is wrong and I end up going home for the summer it will be back to mudblood in no time,"
"Alright," Blaise laughed, "well I meant to say you'll be in Rome studying Ancient Ruins in no time at all,"
"One can only hope," Draco said packing up his stuff.
"Where are you headed?" Blaise asked packing his things as well, but Draco looked as if he were in a rush.
"I think I'll give this to Professor Gibbs now before I change my mind," Draco said staring at the sheet, "besides, the more I think about it… I'd rather study this summer then experience a painful punishment,"
"Oh good," Blaise smiled, "shall I join you?"
"Actually I think I might pass by the Hospital Wing too," Draco said scratching the back of his neck. Okay spending a summer away from home is a passable idea but why do I want to do this? It's not her, I mean okay so she's a person and not just a mudblood. Who cares? Because I definitely, absolutely…hope I don't.
"Oh I see," Blaise said in a tone that told Draco his friend thought his intentions were every thing short of some thing innocent.
"Blaise!" Draco gasped, "You know it's not like that. I just want to see her." Draco sighed and Blaise stared at him. "To see if she has any work done, that is!" Draco corrected himself.
"Calm down," Blaise said holding his hands up in a surrender. "I know you want to see her. You just need to accept it,"
"Not even if it meant the defeat of Voldemort," Draco said picking up his books and walking to the Professor's office.
Twenty minutes later Draco was sitting in Professor Gibb's office watching Gibbs read with the same contented look Blaise did. He put down Draco's application took off his spectacles and looked at Draco impressed, "Well Mr. Malfoy this is quite unexpected. Your application might serve a fair chance,"
"Thank you Professor," Draco said. He was used to his father never being happy with any thing he did so to hear a man say he was doing alright in some thing other then Snape, who had obligations to, was different. "Although, I must be on my way; I have to go see if Granger has completed any of her work since she was kept from class and I want to make curfew."
"Oh I see," The Professor said, just as Blaise. This is really beginning to get annoying. The Professor doesn't even realize I might have less then hateful feelings for her and still he was suggestive. Why is either one of them even considering I am going to see her for other then academic purposes? Why would I want to? I'm Draco Malfoy. Just because I saved her life…it could have been any one, it just had to be her. It had to be the person I hate the most so I could ask myself if the hate was really justified. Which it is! Draco sighed as he realized the Professor was waiting for some kind of denial and smiling at Draco's lack of it, "Professor, I'm not-,"
"Of course I'm sure your intentions are honorable," The Professor interrupted with a laugh, "You may have saved her life but surely that's not enough redemption to redeem the fact you've always been enemies before now, correct?"
Draco nodded in content, "correct,"
The Professor shook his head with a smile, "Then run a long. I would hate to make you late for curfew, but if she is up tell her the essay she had Miss Weasley bring in today has gotten her a definite spot on the trip. And don't get your hopes up Mr. Malfoy, but I think you do as well. So let's just hope you being enemies with Granger won't affect it,"
"Of course not Professor," Draco said and left for the Hospital Wing. It was a little bit of relief on Draco's part hearing the words he was probably going to Rome but Hermione Granger as well? Draco felt a huge tug on his chest. He was walking to see her now, with some stupid excuse and forget just seeing her face again to see what his feelings meant…he had a whole summer to! I might as well accept it. I want to see her. I'm more then likely going to see more of her then I can bare or ever accept, but I'm going to have to accept it any way. Maybe I will be able to avoid my father for the whole summer. And she will be there. Studying with her and solving things I never even considered before seemed to be much more useful then what my father had in store but just last week it wasn't even a hard decision, but now there were so many considerations. Maybe this would help him figure out what was wrong with him, just to see her more. I know I shouldn't think about her or want to see her at all but whenever I do I get crazy ideas that are dying to be discovered further.
But maybe this summer thing really was a bad idea. What if he actually learned to care about her in the summer…which wouldn't happen but a summer without her would make me forget about it completely. And then again if I need a summer to forget about her I shouldn't just be glossing over this impossibility…And if I do spend a summer with her I could prove that this is just crazy and there are really things to hate about her.
Before Draco knew it he was opening up the lofty door to the Hospital Wing and found Hermione studying, reading, and writing…whatever she was doing he guessed it was one of those. All she has is school. No extra curricular activities, no love life let alone experience, no hobbies yet her interest and unbreakable concentration of it- how she blocks out the obvious things she should be facing at this age or even before with out a care; some how it interreges me. She noticed him approaching her bed though, "Malfoy," she said closing her book.
"Granger," he said sitting on the bed beside hers, "any work done yet?" he tried his best to make his tone steady and full of unconcern, for now he was succeeding.
She nodded and pointed to the large pile of parchment and books beside her bed, "I only have potions left; apparently it's the final project,"
"Yeah, it is," Draco said.
"For the dreamless sleep potion…do you know who I'm working with?"
"As a matter of fact, me," Draco said being sarcastically delighted.
"Oh… well then we should work on it some time soon," she decided.
"Whenever you feel up to it," he said then immediately changed his mind, "I mean yes, very soon. It's due next Monday,"
"Um Malfoy…" she said changing the subject and her tone, "I want to say sorry for the way I acted the other day…and thanks for saving me,"
She doesn't waste any time does she? Potter and Weasel probably told her… "It's not a big deal," but that was a big lie, "you're welcome I guess. It was just the only option I suppose if I didn't want some unidentified falling object falling on my head or the floor and I felt…yeah," Draco bit his lip with out even realizing it. He didn't know why he had a hard time explaining the whole event. Maybe because it all happened so fact he barely knew what happened himself. But then again I have never had a civil or decent conversation with her. Other then Blaise it's the first person my age to not hate or fear or want to use me, just talking to me in a normal manner and recalling events. He knew it was Hermione Granger and they had a bad past but he hoped it was just that and not the fact she was staring at him with those big brown, expectant eyes.
Hermione spoke up, "this is weird," She had to state the obvious. "I never would have expected…" Draco looked at her as she trailed off.
"You never should have expected it," Draco said simply.
Hermione looked to the floor, "have I damaged your reputation at all? As much as I would normally enjoy it, it's a horrible way to repay some one for saving their life,"
"I don't know how much of a reputation I have left. The one every body knows and hates is definitely down the drain thanks to this," Draco said taking a copy of the Daily Prophet out of his bag and handing it to her.
She scanned over the article and breathlessly said, "what, who would…"
"Colin Creevy," Draco said coming closer to her to point down on the bottom corner of the page where the annoying kid had the most wide eyed horrifying smile ever, "caught it on camera,"
"I can see that," Hermione said ungratefully looking at all the pictures, "but what is with the headlines, the pictures of Harry and Ron? Did this actually get printed?"
"I'm afraid even I wouldn't joke about some thing like this," Draco sighed.
"But that means the whole Wizarding world knows. That means my parents know…and yours as well," And as she said that her eyes finally fell on the largest picture, it was of him and her.
"I'm aware of that," glancing at the picture of them before he stood up. Her face fell. Okay, he was the enemy but she knew what kind of person his father was. Even Draco didn't deserve what his father probably had intended for him. "Listen," he said before she had a chance to say any thing, although she wasn't even sure what to say. "It's close to curfew but before I leave I was told to tell you that you were accepted onto the Ancient Ruins trip to Rome this summer,"
"Really?" She said, her face lighting up. Draco nodded; did I mention I might be joining that trip? "I can't believe it, thanks for telling me!" Hermione smiled but noticed he was standing there with a blank expression on his face, "but you have to go," she said feeling like a fool.
"Yes well congratulations," Draco said, "I'm sure you deserve to go," Draco picked up her finished pile of work and hurried out of the Hospital Wing.
Hermione sat in the bed for a moment watching the door close. That had to be the nicest thing Malfoy ever said to her. She knew this didn't make them friends or any thing, but were they really still enemies?
With the same thought on his mind Draco was walking down the hall as the tall Hospital Wing door closed. Although he was not peacefully sitting in a bed contemplating it, he was so confused about it that with one sudden action he dropped all of her papers on the floor. "Damn," he said quieter then a whisper. He pushed his back against the wall and pushed himself down to eventually be sitting on the marble floor. "What's the matter with me?" He asked himself as he looked at the scattered pieces of work that covered the better part of the small hallway. Each answer she had written was so neat and at least half a foot long…even when she wasn't in class she was such a perfectionist. Now it was driving Draco mad.
Why can't I think when I look at her? Why can't I talk right when she's looking at me? Draco now felt the situation was much worse then he had thought. Hermione Granger was making Draco Malfoy himself nervous and for no apparent reason. He wanted to tell himself he was just worried about his father finding out about the whole thing to begin with and that he would just get in trouble, but he was smarter then that. He knew deep down his father was the least of his problems.
Hermione was much more fortunate, the questions of Draco were leaving her mind when all she could think about was a summer in Rome. She pulled out the one Ancient Ruins book Draco had left and began to read about some ruins in Rome. At that moment there was a popping noise and another male visitor appeared.
"Miss Granger, you're studying as always I see?"
Hermione smiled at the Head Master of Hogwarts, "of course Head Master,"
"You should be resting up; next week is exam week,"
"I can't help it; I have done nothing but sleep for days."
"You can leave all in good time," Dumbledore said with a promising smile, "now I have just written your parents about this most unfortunate event. I didn't want to write an explanation of the Daily Prophet article until I found all of the reasons for this occurrence,"
"Did you?"
"Not yet," Hermione was confused, "I don't want to make your parents worry any more. SO I just wrote a letter explaining you are okay and that the stair case, along with all switching stair cases in this school are being replaced with ones that do not switch."
"But Professor I don't want to be responsible for the school losing one of its oldest…" Hermione didn't know the right word, "transportation methods?"
"Until we find out exactly what happened we can not risk it. It's not your fault. There could be some black magic at work here. So all the stairs have had spells cast over them to not switch for now. If we can find a culprit or reasonable explanation, then perhaps we can go back to switching stair cases,"
Hermione sighed and smiled. "At least that will make my parents feel a bit better."
"Just one last thing Miss Granger," the Headmaster said lightly, "Get better yourself. If you feel fine enough to study make your way back to your own respective dormitory but just remember you have a summer of studying a head of you, take it easy while you can." Hermione nodded. "Well it is just about curfew so if you wish to return to your dorm and study this is the time to do it…good evening Miss Granger," And with another pop the Head Master was gone.