Author's Note: Yay! I'm finally updating this! I'm so sorry to my readers, I've been a bad author lately, writing oneshots and miniseries and neglecting his for this length of time… ;.; -bows deeply- Well, nothing much new to report, maybe except I'm going to start replying to reviews via the PM system now, since is being snippity about these tender subjects… -cough- But it's still a good site.
Disclaimer:
Yuffie: Heya peeps! Psych has asked me to present the disclaimer for this chapter.
PsychDragoonX: Wow… you're… awfully calm…
Yuffie: -ignores- Nope, this absence wasn't his glorious revolution to obtain legal rights to characters of the Final Fantasy franchise from Square.
PsychDragoonX: -backs away from the extremely calm and out of character girl-
Yuffie: Why? IT'S BECAUSE KONNICHIWA-SAN DOESN'T LOVE HIM! I CRY, I WEEP, AND I MOURN FOR HIM! –cries hysterically with strange sugar and caffeine-coated tears flowing-
PsychDragoonX: Ok… that's a bit better… I think…
IMPORTANT NOTE: I know I've been using homosexuality as an insult throughout this fic so far… but let me explain. I personally have nothing against homosexuality per se, its just one of the first insults that Kuja haters use against him. Also, many people I've shown pictures of Kuja's feathers and tail to anyone resulted in the same insult. So, I apologize to anyone I've offended.
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Ultima: High School Eccentricities
Chapter V: Oh, Those Sweet, Loveable Morons
Author: PsychDragoonX
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Oh dear God save me, I'm now a top 5 target person on the Guado's hit list… I'm dead. Then again… "Halt!" Oh great, another speculative moment interrupted. Hmm… I've noticed that I've loosened up a bit now… Maybe it's because of- "I said halt!" And I stopped to see who was impeding me from behind. Yes, you guessed it, another Guado. If a fight needs be taken place, I have the mysterious advantage of quick rejuvenation. Although, it may have some side effects also, so I better keep with the low grade magic…
I turned around to analyze his features. Light green hair brushed back… and a small goatee along with the typical Guado features. "You have killed the Great Seymour Guado, for future leader of the Guados! And-"
Please, shut up. "-And what of it?" Yes… the medication wore off suddenly… Then I should've been reverted to-
"You insolent bastard! You shall pay!" He started to cast a Dei spell onto me. Barely any damage has been inflicted.
"So, you want a fight? Very well, this is how you cast Demi!" I chanted quickly under my breath and unleashed a large, paralyzing orb of gravity. Mystery Guado winced and cringed in pain, but the spell being the spell that it is, he didn't keel over or faint. Although, he was extremely weakened. I wasn't going to have the whole Guado population after me… But wait, they already are. Oh well. I'm feeling a bit gutsy. So what the hell, I'm going to kick him and make him bleed. But I couldn't do that from several yards away, can I? W-What? I'm… bloodthirsty all of a sudden… the medication wore off… but then I should be stoic and apathetic… not nearly insane. I must look into this later. I'll just kick him for now and head back.
It was a nice plan to go with, but en route to my kicking target, several other Guados jumped me. "YOU. DIE. NOW." Unable to form complete sentences? Shame. Maybe a dose of Tornado will fix that. The wind erupted into a cyclone, speeding and speeding. Slashing flesh off of their skins… How… arousing…
Might as well head back to school… I thought as I prepared a teleporting spell. That was interrupted by the calls of, "Vinny!" I turned my head in the direction of the call, to see that Kuja, Aurora, and Yuffie were running towards me.
-/-/-/-/-/General Point of View/-/-/-/-/-
"That was awesome!" Yuffie exclaimed. "How'd you do that!"
"I don't exactly know. I guess I'm just that good. Oh, and maybe the fact I'm a Sorcerer helps."
"My, you've loosened up considerably," Kuja started. "Medication wore off?"
"Yes, I think that's it, although I wasn't apathetic to the situation as I should've been," explained Vince with a somewhat worrisome tone.
"Wait… medication? For what?" Aurora already knew about his condition via Kuja, so Yuffie asked this question.
"I'll explain on our way back…"
And they started to walk back to Ultima High. Vince began to tell Yuffie, "Well, I actually have no emotions to start off with…"
"And?"
"A-And…" Vince was starting to lag behind them, grasping his chest and wheezing. The others turned around, with Aurora shocked, "Vince! How…!" Yuffie was about to call for help on her cell phone. Kuja was stoic with the situation. Only he knew what was going on.
But before anyone can say anything, Vince collapsed.
-/-/-/-/-/Vince's Point of View/-/-/-/-/-
"Hello. You've reached the Rigel residence. Sorry, we are unavailable at the moment. Please leave your name, message, and the number I can contact you at later. Thank you, have a nice day." One minute I was walking outside back to school, and then, I'm hearing my voicemail message. Wait, where was I? I guess opening my eyes would help.
"Vince, how are you feeling? I've spoken with your teachers and explained what happened – some took bribing with their mobility of their legs and arms – and they've said to stay there and rest. I've also spoken with the… principal… and he said that me, Aurora, and Yuffie stay to keep an eye on you. I'll see you when I get there. Bye." I slowly blinked my eyes to moisten them. I sat up slowly, not taking any chances that I might have hurt myself when I fell.
"W-Where am I…?"
As if to answer my question, Aurora came into the room with a glass of water and a damp washcloth. "Oh, Vince! You're awake! How are you feeling?"
"I…I'm fine, just exhausted. Is this your house?"
"Yes, it is," she said while handing me the glass of water. I gratefully nodded thanks and drank thirstily.
"What happened? Where's Kuja and Yuffie?"
"Well, you collapsed, and we didn't know why. Well, sans Kuja, he said that it's part of an innate genetic disease that you have. He said all you need is rest, and apparently he was right. He's at the school now telling the teachers and principal (which, by the way, I know is Garland. He loves keeping it a mystery, though.) what happened, and he just called us. And Yuffie…" she began, complete with a fit of giggles. "It appears that you have a fanclub forming. She says that she's inviting her friends over to make you feel better."
"…Should I be happy that she's attentive or the fact that she possibly cries sugar-and-caffeine tears?" We both laughed for a few minutes until said person walked in the room.
"Vinny! You're alright! I'm so glad! I've invited OTAKU over here for a little fun and games!"
Umm… "OTAKU?"
"Obsessive Talkative Actresses Krazy about U!"
Oh, so the drama she secretes is natural… God save us all.
There was a knock at the door. And here come the drama queens. At least I'll get a few laughs out of this… But my personality change is quite disturbing… But I'm sure it's all related to my medication. Simple as that. It was actually Kuja. Eh, I was close. He's a fellow drama whore. Kuja and Aurora kissed for a moment, then Kuja came over to me. "How are you feeling?"
"I'm fine, thanks. And… all of you… thank you very much for helping me back out there." My thanks was met by several different reactions. Yuffie smiled widely and jumped, saying something about Konnichiwa-san, Aurora smiled and nodded, while Kuja just nodded.
There was another knock at the door, revealing to be OTAKU. They all hopped around screaming girlishly about "Oh my God HI!" and Konnichiwa-san, along with Ohayoo-san and Konbanwa-san.
"Kuja, this has your name written all over it."
"Me? Scheming? I merely suggested a simple invite of friends, that's all," Kuja smirked as he telepathically communicated with me.
I wanted to continue further our mental conversation, but I was greeted by silence as one girl, dressed in a bright yellow dress that leaves not much to imagination and has brown hair, ran up to me, choking me of air via an "affectionate" hug. "Oh my Ohayoo-san you're alive you're so awesome you killed Seymour you rock I'm your number one fan I love you please marry me you're alright!" She somehow managed to express all of that within 2 nanoseconds and one breath.
The other girl was, well… dressed in a yellow bikini top, white sleeves, and a beige washcloth. Upon further inspection, said washcloth is actually a mini skirt, leaving even less to imagination. She jumped on me and gave me the same treatment, "Oh my Konbanwa-san you're alive you're alive you're alive you're alive please bear my children!" This was a record, she broke the sound barrier, said it in half a breath, and managed to undo my belt buckle in .4 nanoseconds. I guess she wasn't kidding when she said she wanted to bear her children…
"Kuja, as much as I love the attention, I think I'd prefer my fans to be less… on drugs and caffeinated chemicals."
"Why, it was out of character for me to be caring about you, so I had to make up for it. Enjoy your last few breaths."
"Kuja! Do something! My lungs are numb…"
"Alright, alright. Wuss."
Kuja then spoke up, "I suggest if you don't want him unconscious again, you two would let him the glorious gift of oxygen." And they obeyed him.
"I guess they like any tall pretty boy. Thanks."
"We're even."
"So, Vinny, what happened?" I explained all the details to them. They appeared somewhat confused. "So… err…?"
"I fainted due to a genetic disease, but I just needed rest, that's all." There was silence throughout the house. After a while of this uncomfortable quietness, I asked, "So… What are you're names?"
"I'm Selphie! The avatar of Ohayoo-san!" cheered the one in the yellow dress.
"And I'm Rikku! The avatar of Konbanwa-san!" finished the other one.
OTAKU continued in unison, "And we have a special presentation for you!" Oh dear… I have a bad feeling about this…
"We're going to perform…"
"…the miracle Konnichiwa-san has invested through you…"
"…Death To Guados!"
"Well, I personally have nothing against all Guados, its vice versa. I just killed Seymour and that group back there…"
"But yes, we are going to quickly recreate both scenes!"
"…" was the response of all non-OTAKU people (read: all sane people).
"Tee hee! Lets start! In position girls!" Yuffie ordered. "We have here the magic duel that will go down in social history! Vince vs. Seymour! Sorcerer vs. Sorcerer!"
In a totally faked voice, "Hawr hawr hawr. I'm so perfect and you are gay like that feathery freak. Die please. BLIZZAGA." Acted out Rikku, complete with sound effects of the ice crashing.
"Oh, nice. But with one flick of my oh so eternally feathery hair, I will make you eat your words!" Selphie started and flicked her imaginary long hair. "ULTIMA, BITCH!" And they acted out that scene complete with the sound effects and movements. Totally fake and stupid, it was kind of funny.
"And now," Yuffie began directing again, "We have the Tornado scene!"
"LIKE DIE PLEASE."
Rikku lunged at Selphie as she side stepped and said, "Tornado! You got served!"
Short. Simple. And Sweet. They shouldn't have. No, really. They shouldn't have.
All three of them bowed while holding hands. We just looked at each other and shrugged. It would be polite to applaude, therefore, we did so. Unenthusiastically, but we clapped.
"Can I see the materia that you use?" asked Yuffie after a short silence.
"Umm… I don't use materia," I replied.
"You obviously don't remember your history and magic lessons," Kuja pointed out sternly with a hint of sarcasm. Oh dear, he's going to give a lecture… Better make yourselves comfortable, it's going to be a long while…
-/-/-/-/-/Kuja's Point of View/-/-/-/-/-
"Everybody has the potential to use magic," I began. This may sound out of character of me, but then I continued, "Some moreso than others." Yes, getting back in character…
"There are 3 Magic Classes. Magic Classes are generalized categories of peoples' ability to use magic.
"Sorcerers/Sorceresses are the best magic users. They have high power and defense, can conserve their mental energies more efficiently, and can be born with an a large innate library of spells at their disposal and can learn even more magic spells by time or experiencing certain events. But they all differ from each other in terms of usage and learning. Some Sorcerers/Sorceresses learn naturally through time and events that occur throughout their lives. For example, me. I learn at a rate of one new spell per year, due to the fact I know most if not all spells… So that means the next spell I learn will be a unique and exotic spell that no one else can use. Others learn by observation. If they see a spell, they know it. This is very different from seeing a spell and then go off to research it."
Yuffie then asked a question, "But I thought Mist taught spells and people learn all just naturally and…"
"Yes and no. Mist is released into the air that we breathe and allows us to use spells more quickly and with less exertion. But Vince… that Ultima's power is high, and yet, he didn't feel tired… Hmm… But that's something I need to look into… Continuing on, Sorcerers/Sorceresses' DNA have a special mechanism that allows the Mist to work in a chemical reaction. People memorize or learn spells for usage."
"But then what's the source of all magic?" Selphie interrupted… Sigh, they really are lacking knowledge… I hate it.
"The Iifa Tree. That releases the Mist and the Dragon Heart creates the spells. These are powered by the cycle of souls and their knowledge. Some people call it The Lifestream, but the proper name of it is the Mist-Soul Cycle.
"But continuing on my main explanation, the second best magic users are Demi-Sorcerers/Demi-Sorceresses. They can't learn quite as easily, but they can Junction Guardian Forces to reach the potential of regular Sorcerers/Sorceresses and Draw magic spells from other sources such as other people or monsters, or even the Iifa Tree itself. Other Demi-Sorcerers/Demi-Sorceresses just need extensive training because they operate the same way as Sorcerers and Sorceresses do, just at a less efficient level. In short, Demi-Sorcerers and Sorceresses can reach Sorcererhood by Junctioning or training.
"And there are the ones who are too stupid to use any natural magic," a smile twitched on the corners of my mouth as I began, "they are called Orb Users."
"Hey! I'm not stupid!" the OTAKU freaks yelled and screamed at me as if I said something insulting. Me? Insult? I am merely stating the facts.
Despite their futile glares, I went on, "These people are more affinitive towards Materia and Spheres." The smile faded. "Materia and Spheres are different forms of condensation and crystallization of Mist, thus, having a similar power and effect. But, depending on atmospheric conditions, time of day, time of year, environment, and crystallization processes, materia can have drastically different effects.
"Natural crystallization takes longer, but has more power than if tampered with. Also, the ones with a higher level of magic are rarer to find than mass produced ones. These crystallizations are classified in different fields, such as Magic, Power, Function, Summon, and etc. Materia and Spheres can be created via alchemy, but that's a different study of Integrated Magical and Scientific Physics and Chemistry.
"The difference between materia and spheres lies in how they are used and mastery over magic and general power. Materia is powered individually, so it's interchangeable with people and special equipment that you link them in with in order to activate the effects. Spheres allow the person to absorb whatever power from them that the individual can handle without dying. So, in short, Materia and Spheres are similar, yet they have their differences."
"And he's not lying, is he, Vince?" inquired Yuffie.
"No, that's the standard textbook answer along with a Sorcerer's experience."
-/-/-/-/-/Vince's point of View/-/-/-/-/-
"Interesting…"
"Hey guys, its getting late, my parents will be home soon and I don't want them to have a hysterical cheerleader orgasm on the topic of you guys being here," reminded Aurora.
"Oh yeah! Before I forget, we're having a New Christmas party over at my place and you're all invited!" … Yuffie said this message from the dark.
...God save us all.
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Whew! Finally got this done! Well, I'm starting to write the (extremely belated) Christmas/New Years chapter. I won't do a Valentine's this year, as that'll set me even farther behind. Let me know your opinions! See you all later!