This chapter is longer than the other one, because my muse kept me busy and I couldn't find a place to stop. It's left off at sort of an odd place as it is, but I needed to end the chapter...

Disclaimer: Don't own nothin' but Mel, sadly enough...

Mel woke up the next morning with a headache, in a bed she didn't recognize. "Ugh, where am I..." she muttered to herself, rubbing the back of her head.

"You're in my room. Don't you remember what happened last night?" she heard Randy's voice come from beside her. She looked there and freaked. He was in bed next to her, propped up on his elbow, grinning sexily. Her eyes grew wide and she grabbed the comforter, covering herself and falling off the bed. Randy started laughing.

"What's so funny? You... me... we... are you serious?" she exclaimed, her voice getting high and squeaky.

"Serious as a heart attack, babe," he said, looking right into her eyes. Mel looked at him, her hands clasped over her mouth, before she realized he was fighting to hide a smile. She threw a pillow at him and dove at him.

"Randy, you liar!" she laughed, smacking him with the other pillow repeatedly.

"Hey, hey, heyyy chill! I was just kidding! Ah! I'm sorry!" he cried, laughing with her. He grabbed her wrists with his hands, picked her up, and set her on the bed.

"So where am I really, and why are you in here?" she said suspiciously, walking over to her suitcase to get clothes out.

"This is one of our many shared hotel rooms. We'd rather conserve our money, even though we're all rich bastards, so we rent like, 5 hotel rooms and crowd into them," he explained, brushing himself off and pulling his shirt on.

"Not only rich bastards, but apparently cheap bastards... who was in here with us?" she asked, turning him so his back was facing the wall before changing.

"You, me, John, Dave, Matt, Rey, Scotty, Booker, and Sharmell," he counted, playing with the lampshade.

"6 boys and 1 girl? Isn't that a little unorthodox? Sharmell and Booker don't count, they're married," she added, going to sit on the bed in front of him and crossing her legs.

"Well, Dave's married too, John's your brother, and the rest of us are too sweet to try anything. Not to mention John would kill us before you could say 'hey Mel'."

"Too sweet, huh... Where's the next show at?"

"Madison."

"We driving?" she groaned.

"Of course. We're cheap bastards. We're not going to play for plane tickets," he teased, grabbing their bags and walking out. Mel sighed, looking after him longingly for a minute before following him down to the parking lot.

"What happened to the limo?" she asked, cocking her head at the lime green Viper convertible with white stripes. "Not that I mind... These cars are awesome..."

"We rent it when we get there. Cheap bastards are too cheap to buy limos," Randy said, throwing the stuff in the trunk and winking at her.

"I didn't realize there was a handbook now," she teased, hopping up on the hood. He slammed the trunk shut and walked over in front of her, putting his hands on the hood on either side of her and leaning in.

"I didn't realize there was a handbook on being adorable," he murmured, before Mel pushed him away.

"They're coming," she whispered urgently, sliding out from under him and hopping into the car.

"Ready to go?" John asked, grinning and climbing into the driver's seat.

"Oh yeah... gazillion hour drive from Nowheresville, Illinois to Madison... I can't wait," Mel groaned from the back sea

"Aww, lighten up, it could be worse," Matt said, jumping in beside her. "It's snowing there!"

"Yay! Snow!" she said, suddenly sitting up and grinning.

"Yep, and we're staying in a cabin instead of a hotel," Dave added, getting in next to John. Randy got into the seat on the other side of Mel, and John started the car. He pressed a button and the sound system sprang to life with Ludacris.

"J.C., dude, this car's awesome! Does it have hydraulics?" Mel asked eagerly, leaning forward to the front.

"Sure does," he said, smiling and pressing a button to make the car bounce.

"It's like a car from Pimp My Ride," she said in awe, leaning back as John turned off the hydraulics and backed out of the lot. Soon they were on the road, and Mel fell asleep, leaning on Randy's shoulder.

A while later, Mel was wide awake and it was dark. Everyone except John seem to have fallen asleep at one point or another, so he was exhausted and everyone else was chipper. Matt offered to take over, so John climbed into the back and fell asleep fast.

"Matt, you know where you're going this time, right...?" Dave asked nervously.

"What do you mean, this time?" Mel asked, alarmed.

"Last time we let him drive, we were going to San Diego and he got lost," Dave explained, trying not to laugh.

"We ended up at like, Mount Shasta, on the other side of California," Randy added, smiling.

"Hey, hey, it wasn't my fault! That woman at the customs gate said go to the right!" Matt protested, causing them to laugh. He rolled his eyes, and turned up the speakers to drone them out. Mel put her head on Randy's shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around her.

"Whaddya ya know, we're all alone again," he murmured, stroking her hair.

"No we're not, we're in a small car surrounded by 3 other people," she pointed out, nodding her head in their general direction.

"Well, we're right behind Dave, Matt's concentrating on driving, and John's knocked out cold. Pretty alone for the circumstances, don't ya think?" he whispered, turning her head so she was facing him.

"Sure," she said, closing her eyes as Randy leaned in. Right then, she felt John stir next to her. She pulled away, and jerked her head in his direction. Randy groaned and leaned back on his hands. Mel rolled her eyes before sitting back and crossing her legs.

"Matt, we almost there?" John called, yawning.

"We're in Madison," he answered. "We just have to find the cabin."

"Oh great..." Dave sighed. "Matt, let me drive."

"No! I can find it! I got to the right city this time!" he exclaimed, driving faster.

"Okay, okay, chill out," Dave said, throwing up his hands in innocence. Matt smiled and slowed down, taking out the Mapquest that he printed out earlier. In about 5 minutes he had pulled into the driveway of an expensive looking four story house with high piling walls of snow on either side of the driveway and steps leading up to the doorway.

"It's like a fairyland," Mel gasped, jumping out of the car and looking up at the house.

"Wait'll you see the inside," Dave grinned, hauling up three suitcases and balencing a keyring on his pinky.

"You've been here before?" she asked, cocking her head.

"Of course. I own it," he replied, attempting to turn the key with his teeth. Mel shot John a look that would have killed, and tackled him.

"You've stayed at a kickass nice huge mansion snow cabin before and you didn't invite me?" she said indignantly, before falling into a heap on his chest and fake sobbing.

"A little help? This snow's really cold..." John pleaded to Randy, who scooped Mel up with one arm around her waist and carried her away. He dropped her next to the steps, picked up her bags, and walked inside after Dave. John laughed and helped her up.

"You're still gonna get it..." she muttered, brushing off the snow and walking inside. Her eyes bulged the second she stepped inside. "Holy shit! This place is huge!" she exclaimed, running around to every room and gawking. She got to one of the bedrooms and stood in the doorway, her mouth hanging open. Matt and John walked up and stood behind her.

"I take it you like the house?" Matt said, his voice tinged with amusement.

"I want this room," she proclaimed, jumping on the bed like a little kid. Her legs were folded under her, hands folded in front of her, and an innocent smile plastered on her face.

"Aww, that's just too damn cute for words. We need to preserve this," John teased, snapping a polaroid photo with a camera that was on top of the dresser.

"Dave's cooking dinner," Randy announced, walking in. He noticed the photo and peered over John's shoulder to look at it. "What's this?"

"A photo of me looking adorable," Mel said, flashing a grin at him.

"Yup, to keep in my locker when I'm in the locker room. Gotta have a pic of my baby sis for luck," John said, stuffing the photo in his pocket.

"Yo, Dave, what's for dinner?" Matt hollered into the hallway.

"Tacos!" Dave bellowed from somewhere in the house.

"Yay! J.C., I want a piggyback ride!" Mel said, leaping from the bed onto his back and latching herself on.

"Woah. Kid, you're getting to be too big for this," John groaned, grabbing her legs and racing off towards the dining room. Randy and Matt sped to catch up to them.

"Race ya," Randy said, winking at Mel before taking off.

"Hey! No fair! I've got cargo!" John yelled after him.

"Oh, so I'm cargo now?" Mel sniffed, kicking him in the leg and causing him to fall. She jumped off and sprinted to catch up with Randy, smiling at him before sliding into the kitchen. "10 points!" she gasped, letting her head bonk onto the floor and catching her breath.

"Mel, that hurt!" John said, limping in and glaring.

"It's not supposed to take this much breath out of you to race across the house..." she sighed, dragging herself over to where Dave was cooking. She grabbed his leg and latched herself onto it. "Feeeeeeed me..."

"Yo! Watch out!" Dave yelped, nearly falling with a pot of refried beans in his hand. She scooched back and leaned back on her hands, staring up at him patiently. He glanced down at her, raising his eyebrow. "Okay, okay, food's ready. You're freaking me out..." he teased, pulling her up and bumping her into the dining room.

"Food!" she said happily, bouncing up and down and running to pile her plate high.

The next day, Mel woke up cold. She glanced at the alarm clock on the sidetable, and saw that it was 9:17 am. 'Not bad,' she thought. 'Considering I usually wake up around noon.' They had all stayed up super late the night before, playing video games. Mel was pretty sure they had gone outside and had a snowball fight around 2 in the morning, but it was too early to think. She heard voices from the other room and wandered out in baggy black sweatpants and a bright green tanktop.

"How the hell do y'all run on 4 hours of sleep and get up this early all chipper 'n stuff?" she yawned, stretching and collapsing into an armchair.

"Takes practice. And lots of coffee," Matt said, sipping black coffee out of a huge mug and laying on the couch.

"Meh... Coffee's too far," she groaned, curling up into a ball and closing her eyes.

"Mel, you can't go back to sleep. We have to go to RAW tonight," John said, flicking her head.

"Why? We're Smackdown superstars... unless that was a hallucination..." she muttered, sitting up.

"No, we're still on Smackdown," he chuckled. "We're going to interfere with their show. Special assignment from T'Lo."

"Dammit, but aren't they somewhere else in Wis?" she yawned again, pulling knots out of her hair with a hairbrush she found on the coffee table.

"Yeah, meaning we have to leave soonish to drive there."

"Rawr... Why us?" she moaned, tugging at her hair.

"Because he figured we could screw around with Kurt best. We're Dave's crew, and he fucked Dave out of his title. Are you always this cranky in the morning?" Randy said in amusement, winking at her.

"Noo, just when I have to wake up before 11," she said sleepily.

"Well, kid, you're gonna have to be ready in about...20 minutes. We have to leave around 9:45 to get there on time," John said, tugging her gently out of the chair.

"What? Where the fuck are we going?" she cried out, alarmed.

"Ridgeway. It's only a couple hours away, but we have to have dinner and shit. And have time to chill, form our attack plan, you know..." John trailed off, frowning and looking at the floor in concentration.

"Dammit J.C... you're supposed to tell me these things before so I know when I have to wake up at the asscrack of dawn..." she sighed, trudging to her room.

"Try living with her when she has to wake up at 6:30 for school," John said, rolling his eyes and making the other guys laugh.

Mel came out a few minutes later wearing black ski pants and a black "The Legend Killer" shirt that she took from the t-shirt stands from her first show. She pulled on her black Flip sweatshirt and padded out into the living room.

"Security isn't gonna let you in like that. You have to be wearing slutty clothes. It's part of the Diva code, or something," Matt informed her, pulling on a ski jacket.

"I have shorts under this. I didn't learn nothing from watching WWE for years," she said, rubbing her hands across her arms. "Is Wisconsin always cold?"

"Nah, just in the winter. But half of 'em have Canadian accents," John said, walking in wearing a football jersey and baggy shorts.

"J.C., dude, aren't you cold?" Mel asked, her eyes growing in surprise.

"Hell no. I'm never cold," he said, jumping on the couch and closing his eyes.

"Dammit, you bastard, get up. You made me get dressed abnormally early, so we're leaving or else I'm going back to sleep 'til 4 pm," she snapped, frowning at him.

"We gotta wait for Randy and Dave anyway," he said, scrunching his face and rolling onto his stomach.

"Yo, we're ready!" Dave announced, striding into the living room with Randy in tow. Mel looked at John triumphantly, and then marched out of the room towards the car, swinging her arms.

Mel, who had driven to Ridgeway, pulled into a drivethru at Mickey D's and paused. "What do y'all want?" she asked, jerking her head toward the menu.

"Big Macs!" they all shouted simultaneously, grinning.

"Ugh, those things are so bad for you..." she groaned. "Alright, hi, yeah, 4 Big Macs with large Cokes and a vanilla ice cream cone."

They got their food and pulled into a space in the parking lot, and the guys tore into their burgers.

"I don't know how y'all stay healthy like that," she sighed, licking her ice cream cone and watching them tear into their food.

"'E esercize ih ohf," Matt said with his mouth full, bits of food flying out.

"Eww! Gross! Don't talk with your mouth full!" she shrieked, bonking him on the head.

"Ouchies! Sor-ry, but I'm hungry..." he sniffed, rubbing the back of his head and stuffing a handful of fries in his mouth.

"Boys..." Mel rolled her eyes, banging her head on the seat's headrest.

"So what's our plan of action?" Dave wanted to know, swallowing before talking and eyeing Mel fearfully.

"I dunno. Just walk in and go out when Kurt goes out to fuck with his head. Maybe we can ambush him," John replied, sipping his Coke.

"I took weight training in high school, so I can probably beat his ass to add insult to injury when y'all are done with him," Mel piped up, grinning.

"A'ight, that works for me," John said, tossing his stuff out the car.

"Litterbug litterbug litterbug!" Mel taunted, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Jesus Christ you're immature... but that's okay," he said, rolling his eyes. Mel started the car and drove off to the arena.

It had been about an hour and a half since the show had started, and Dave and his crew were pacing around behind the curtain near the entrance ramp. Mel had taken off her pants and sweatshirt and was now in the shirt she had put on that morning and tight-fitting pink shorts with bright pink high-tops.

"Yo, I'm gonna run to the bathroom, I don't think he's gonna be coming out anytime soon," she said, waving and jogging off towards the girl's bathroom down the hall. She touched up her makeup and was washing up when Torrie Wilson and Trish Stratus walked in, gossiping and laughing. They stopped when they saw her, and Trish raised her perfectly plucked eyebrow.

"Uh, who are you? WWE Divas only, you know," she said, crossing her arms and pouting.

"I'm Melody, John Cena's li'l sis. No need to introduce yourselves; I already know who y'all are," Mel said sweetly, hating them on sight.

"Ohhhh! That's so sweet! You're that chick that's been hanging out with Randy and Dave lately!" Torrie said, stage-gasping.

"Umm, sure," Mel shrugged, fixing her hair.

"We-e-e-e-llllll, you know those 2 are bad news, right?" Trish said innocently, going to stand to Mel's right so that Mel could see Trish in the mirror.

"Uh-huh, sure. Next I suppose you're going to tell me the Leaning Tower of Piza magically straightened itself out overnight." Mel rolled her eyes.

"The what...?" Torrie said blankly. Mel gave her an 'oh-my-god-you're-so-stupid' look, before Trish interrupted.

"No, really, they are! Dave took advantage of poor Melina, and Randy... Well, he did that horrible thing to Stacy, and he's just a player in general. I just want to look out for you, since we're new best friends and all," Trish told her seriously, her eyes growing wide.

"Mmmhmm. Lemme tell you something. Before you start dissing my friends, you better know who you're dealing with. Melina's a shameless whore who lies to get what she wants and to cause trouble, and Randy and Dave are both sweethearts. And you guys are both relentless bitches who get bored and fuck around with people whenever it pleases you. You mess with my friends, you mess with me. It's a little thing I learned growing up back in Massachusettes, and something you might want to practice instead of dropping your friends when things are inconvient for you," Mel snapped, whirling around with fire in her eyes. Trish and Torrie's mouths hung open, and Mel took her opportunity to stride out, smirking. She met back up with the guys exactly where she'd left them, sitting on a crate.

"What happened to make you so happy?" John wanted to know, looking at her smile suspiciously.

"Met up with Trish and Torrie in the bathroom. Lovely girls, really. They don't know how to watch themselves, though..." she said thoughtfully, swinging her legs.

"Oh, Mel, what'd you say to them?" John groaned.

"Has this happened before...?" Dave asked, smiling.

"Aw, hell, everyone who looked at her funny on the streets back in West Newberry got their ass beat, male or female, teenager or 30 year old," John sighed, but he couldn't help but look at Mel with pride.

"Hmm... And I wonder who taught her such horrible things?" Randy mocked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hey! Those fighting lessons werea birthday present!" John protested.

"Anyway," Mel interrupted, causing them all to turn towards her. "I'm fixin' my makeup 'n stuff, and they come striding in, like they're sex goddesses or something. So they start telling me about how Dave 'n Randy are "bad news", and how I should watch out, and I basically tell them to fuck themselves and watch out, and that you two are sweethearts," she finished proudly, leaning back on her hands. They started clapping and Randy whistled, when Kurt's music started up. They ran around to the other side in time to see him walk down the ramp, and start his little speech on how he's a hero and he's so great. John whispered to the sound guy to play Dave's music, and it played, interrupting Kurt nicely. They walked out in formation, Dave leading, holding a microphone. They climbed in the ring, and Kurt backed up to the ropes, his eyes growing wide.

"Well, Kurt, as you can see," Dave started to say, advancing towards Kurt. "My injuries have completely healed, and only a week after you took my title. Isn't that a shame?"

"Hey, look, I won it fair and square! Coach told me to go to Smackdown and get it, so it's not my fault! There's nothing you can do about it, either!" Kurt protested, climbing on top of the ropes in an effort to escape Dave.

"Maybe not yet. But Vince himself promised me another shot at my title, with all my friends managing me. Won't that be fun?" he said, grinning wickedly. "But I don't think that's enough. Do you, guys?" he asked John, Matt, Randy, and Mel triumphantly. They shook their heads, and suddenly all the guys dashed at Kurt at once. Mel hung back and watched them do their work, letting them pound the hell out of Kurt. When they were good and done, Mel dashed at him and put him in her own hold, the Viper Lock. She sat on his back, hooking her arms around his elbows and pulling back so she was still sitting on his back, but it was awkwardly bent. The ref came in within a few seconds to break them up, but Mel had accomplished her goal. She backed up, brushing her hair out of her eyes and raising her hands up in the air. She turned around and ran behind Randy, jumping on his back and wrapping her legs around his waist. They flipped backwards out of the ring and walked slowly backwards up the ramp, watching Kurt struggle to get up and give them all a death glare. Mel returned it with an evil smile, her intent reinforced by the flames that were bursting out on either side of the ramp.

Yeah, I made Trish and Torrie seem like two of the stupidest girls in the world, but I don't like them that much anyway... Besides, it was fun. And John and Mel are kinda ghetto, because of John's whole rapper thing he's got going on. Next chapter up soon, I hope...

-Rose