Writer's block is truly a bitch. But I worked, and here it is.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing except Mel and Joey. Oh, and Uncle Tony. I also don't have anything to do with Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, but it's the coolest show ever to hit tv.
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Mel woke up on Monday morning with a headache, her cell ringing loudly, Twisted Transistor by Korn blaring from the phone's tiny speaker. The whole weekend after Smackdown for her and the guys had been nothing but going to clubs and bars and all that good stuff. The weekend was also like one massive hangover, which was forgotten in the hype and excitement of going out. Her knee was finally starting to get better, and now that it had gotten off its ass and started healing, it was doing so fast. She had stomach cramps, which was also a surefire sign that her period was going to start soon. 'Fan-fucking-tastic,' she thought bitterly, slumping over to the phone. "What the fuck do you want?"
"Nice to hear from you too, Melody."
"Vince... Hi... Why are you calling so early in the morning?" Mel said sweetly, mentally cursing herself for snapping at her boss.
"Early? Melody, it's almost noon."
"Right... So what's up?" The guys were slowly waking up, groaning and stretching. Mel hopped up onto the table, crossing her legs.
"I'm calling to let you know that the next show's in New York City, at Madison Square Gardens. You've got hotel arrangements at the Hilton downtown, and you'll find the WWE plane waiting for you at the airport and a limo waiting to take you to your hotel when you get to New York. Your plane leaves at three-thirty, I believe, so you should probably get up and get packing."
"'Kay. Thanks, Vinnie. Anything else?"
"Yeah. Don't call me Vinnie."
"Uh-huh... Bye, Mr. McMahon."
"Goodbye, Melody."
Mel threw her cell back onto her bed, missing Randy's head by inches. "What's the deal?" he yelped.
"I hate that man." She grabbed clothes from her bag and walked toward the bathroom. "I'll be in the shower," she muttered, before slamming the door.
Randy looked at John with a bewildered look on his face. John only laughed. "PMS, dude. You have a sister, don't you? I don't know how you don't remember this."
"I was already at OVW by the time Becky was 15, so I missed out on most of it. Besides, Bex was always pretty mellow, even though she was also really perky."
Mel was out in record time (about 20 minutes), dressed and ready to go to the hotel. "C'mon, y'all, plane leaves at 3:30, so we gotta get the fuck outta here."
"We're ready, Mel... we were just waiting for you," Matt told her.
"Oh, how horribly sweet of you." Mel's voice was dripping with sarcasm, and Matt, Jeff, Chris, and Randy backed away. John just chuckled.
"Don't worry, guys, the first day's always the worst. Things will be better by tomorrow."
Mel glared. "What will be better? What the fuck are you talking about? Nothing's fucking wrong."
She grabbed her suitcase and stormed outside. John laughed, shook his head, and beckoned for the others to follow. "She won't bite. Hard."
-----
Four hours later, they were on the WWE plane. Mel and Sharmell were talking in the corner, since Sharmell was the only one able to sympathize with her. Randy, Matt, Jeff, John, and Chris were lying around in a small area in the plane where there were cushions scattered around in a circle, so it looked like a cushion truck had exploded but everyone knew that it was carefully arranged. Matt was lazily checking his email, and cocked his head when he got to an email from Vince.
"Apparently Vincey has big news for us tonight. Maybe he's retiring and giving the company to the guy that invented Oreos, or something."
Jeff shook his head. "Well, one of us had to be the smart one..."
Matt flicked him in the head, causing Jeff to yelp. "Yes, Jeffrey, but what does that leave you with?"
Jeff stuck his tongue out, then idly played with his lip ring, which he had gotten a few months ago because he was bored. He noticed Ashley, the new girl, checking him out, and he winked at her. The others gave him a weird look, and he shrugged, smiling. "What can I say? I'm irrisistable."
Mel gave him a faked-sultry look from across the room. "Oh yeah, Jeff. I can't resist you. TAKE ME NOW!" Randy looked at her in alarm, and she laughed and blew him a kiss. "I'm kidding, babe."
Randy looked relieved. "Good. If you weren't, I'd have to kick Jeff's ass, and none of us want that, do we?"
"Especially not me!" Jeff said loudly, causing the others to laugh. He frowned at them. "What? I was being serious."
"Bro, you're never serious," Matt said, raising his eyebrow.
Jeff shrugged. "You've got a point."
"Well, like you said, one of us had to be the smart one..." Matt said, smirking.
Jeff shot a rubber band at him. "Oh, shut up."
"If you two don't stop fighting, I'm going to kick both your asses, kids," Chris said, glaring.
Matt and Jeff looked down sadly. "Yes, father..."
The announcement sounded that the plane was landing, and the guys scrambled over to their little row of seats. Mel ran over and sat next to Randy, strapping herself in. "So when's young master David meeting us?" she asked in a posh British accent, resting her head on Randy's shoulder.
He laughed. "He's coming sometime tonight. You sound like the butler from Fresh Prince, by the way."
She smirked. "Thanks, I was going for that."
The plane landed and, as Vince promised, there was a sleek black stretch waiting to take them to their hotel. For once, everyone was staying in the same hotel, and it was booked to the top.
"Wonder why Vincey's paying for the hotel. He wouldn't pay for his own daughter's wedding; I don't get why he'd shell out so much cash for the slaves of his utopia," John mused, popping open a beer from the minifridge in their room.
"Maybe he's drunk, like you're going to be if you keep down that beer like you did with the three you had on the plane. It's too late for that, John. You can get drunk tomorrow," Mel said sternly, stepping out of the bathroom and drying her hair. Randy was relaxing on the bed, flipping through the channels. She walked over and curled up next to him, shaking out her short, spiky hair. "I wish it was long again..."
Randy looked up at her and frowned. "When I see the bastards that wrecked it, they'll be so messed up that they'll need to move into one of those old people's homes and have their own personal little assistant help them to live."
"Nah. Don't do that," she told him.
"No?"
"Nope. They don't deserve assistance. They should have to live out their miserable days like..amoebas. Cold, lonely amoebas."
"Your wish is my command, oh angelic one." Mel giggled, and the door opened. Dave walked in, dressed in one of his crisp suits and shades, lugging a suitcase.
"Heyy Dave. How's the home?" John asked, putting the beer down after seeing Mel glare.
"They're good. It was nice being home again," Dave replied, setting his stuff down and sripping down to his boxers.
Mel covered her eyes with one hand. "Eww. Eww. Girl in the room! I don't needa see that!"
"Relax, Mel. I'm not sleeping naked," Dave laughed, climbing into bed.
"Boxers have flaps!"
Randy smiled, removed her hand from her eyes, and kissed her. "He's covered now, Mel."
She smiled, and snuggled up to Randy. "Good. I was starting to think I'd have to splash acid on my eyes or something, and that sure as hell wouldn't be good."
"Where are Matt and his newly returned brother, anyway?" Dave asked, folding his hands behind his head.
John flicked off the light and climbed into his bed. "Bonding. They got their own room to swap stories about what's been happening since Jeff left. Apparently they haven't gotten much opportunity to see each other, since they've both been traveling like crazy and whatnot."
"Ah. That's good, then. They need to reconnect."
John and Dave were asleep in minutes. Randy and Mel were settled into a comfortable silence, wrapped up in each other's arms. Mel rolled over, pulled Randy's arms around her, and drifted off. Randy kissed the top of her head and fell asleep soon after.
-----
The phone once again woke Mel up on Friday morning, and she groaned. 'Fucking phone... Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.' She felt around for it and grasped her hand over it, pulling the annoying little device to her ear and flipping it open. "Huh?" she said sleepily.
"'Morning, angelo! How is my bella daughter this morning?"
Mel sat up in bed quickly. "Hi, daddy! I'm doing great! How's everything at home?"
"Well, I was checking online to see when your shows were, and I saw that you were coming home soon!"
Mel scratched her head. "Really?" 'Great, the fans get to know where we're going before we do. I'm gonna make Matt start checking the schedule...'
"Yep, next week, bambino. And guess what else?"
"Che cosa?"
"Uncle Tony's coming to visit! And so is Aunt Lucia!"
"Really?"
"Si."
"Awesome... Me 'n John will be sure to drop by. And is it okay if our friends stay at the house?"
"Of course, angelo. We have enough room."
"Okay, great! See you in a few days, daddy! Ciao, padre!"
"Alright. Ciao. Say hi to your fratello for me," her father chuckled, and Mel heard the line click. She looked around and found one of her flipflops, and threw it at John.
"Yo! J.C.! Wakey wakey!" she hissed, and John rolled over, yawning.
"What's the deal, Mel?" he grumbled. Mel threw her other flipflop at him, and he yelped. "Hey! What's your problem?"
"It's already 11, you loser. Besides, we're going to West N. for our next show! Daddy called me this morning and told me!" Mel said happily, using their nickname for their hometown.
John groaned. "You woke me up to tell me that?"
Mel glared. "Yes. Besides, it's time for you to wake up anyway."
"But we already took our showers, because we know you take forever in the morning!"
"Forever? I'll show you who takes forever!"
By then, the other guys were waking up because of the noise, and Randy was jolted awake when Mel bounced off the bed and went to grab her clothes. She stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door, leaving all the guys but John looking bewildered.
"What was that all about..." Chris asked, stretching.
"Sibling bickering..." John muttered, grabbing his orange jersey and a pair of black denim shorts. Mel walked out 10 minutes later, fully dressed, holding a bottle of hair gel and and a comb. She attacked her hair with the gel and comb, making it spikey.
"Doesn't gel make your hair all hard and plasticy..?" Randy wanted to know.
"Not this kind. I got it in Paris." She was wearing loose black sweatpants and a green and black DX shirt. Her nails were painted green and black, and she was wearing green and black shoes. Dave looked at her and laughed.
"So, what're the colors of the day?" he teased, making Mel laugh.
"It's a tribute to DX. The first time I went to a WWE match, they were the first ones I saw, and they became special to me," she told him seriously, causing Dave to smile.
"Aww. You should tell Hunter. He'd probably be glad."
Mel's face went from happy to annoyed in a split second. "I don't want anything to do with him or anyone in his family."
Dave could see that he'd hit a nerve, and then it hit him that Joey was Hunter's nephew. He gulped. "Tell Shawn then. Shawn's awesome, I'm sure he'd love to meet a fan."
Mel's features relaxed. "I'll make sure to when I see him."
They were all ready to go by 4, since Chris was being lazy and didn't get up til 3:30. "Well, we have plenty of time, let's go grab dinner," Randy said, pulling on his other shoe.
"Where to?" Mel asked.
"McDonalds!" all the guys chorused, and Mel winced.
"Eww, do you know how bad that stuff is for you? I need to watch my figure, you know, and you need to watch what you eat too."
"Sorry, mom," John said, rolling his eyes and smiling. Mel lightly punched him on the arm.
"Fine, you guys can destroy your bodies at McDonalds and I'll just eat at catering later," she sighed, grabbing the key's to John's Viper, which had made its way to New York.
John eyed the keys. "Who said you could drive?"
Mel turned around and gave John her sad puppy look. "Pretty please? I promise I'll be careful..."
"Fine..."
"Yay!" Mel threw her arms around John's neck, and he hugged her, before she skipped out the door. They ran into Matt and Jeff in the hall, who were returning to their room, and Mel stopped and waved. "Hey guys, we're goin' to Micky D's, wanna come with us? We're gonna head to the show after we eat..."
"Nah, we're gonna kick it here for a while and then just eat when we get to catering," Matt told her.
"Thanks anyway," Jeff added, smiling. Mel nodded, and waved goodbye to them. She turned around and jumped on Randy's back.
"Piggyback ride!" she said happily, like a little kid.
"Watch out..." Randy warned her, taking off down the hallway and out the door. John, Chris, and Dave sprinted to keep up with them. When they got to the car, Randy dropped her in the driver's seat, jumping in beside her. Chris, John, and Dave hopped in the back, and John turned on the radio, blasting Act A Fool by Ludacris. Mel tore off down the street in the direction of a McDonalds she had spotted earlier.
-----
There was no drive through, so they had to go inside. Thankfully, it was practically empty, since it was kinda out of the way in an alley. It did, however, have one of those guys in a Ronald McDonald suit, walking around and scaring the hell out of little kids. He walked up to them when they walked in and let out his goofy laugh. "How are YOU today!" he asked enthusiastically.
"Dude, get the fuck away from me before I hang you from the ceiling fan by your oversized shoes and put it on maximum setting," Mel told him, raising her eyebrows.
"Aww, come on, don't act like that! McDonalds is a family friendly place! Now, give me a biiiiiiiiiig hug!" Ronald said, holding his arms open.
Mel ran around behind the guys, and they glared at him. "We're like, fifteen times as strong as you. You still want a hug? I'll be happy to crush your back," Randy told him, cracking his knuckles.
Ronald backed up. "Yo, dude, I'm just trying to make a living, they fire me if I don't say that stuff, yanno?" he said quietly.
Chris nodded. "I'd advise you to let up on the hugs. A lot of kids are afraid of clowns."
"This is the only job they'd give me, since I don't know how to work a cash register," Ronald sighed.
"Don't they have idiot-proof cash registers with words instead of numbers so you can just press whatever people choose?" Dave asked, cocking his head.
Ronald shook his head. "Dude, this is the ghetto, in NYC, in an alleyway. I'm surprised we have customers."
"I see your point," Dave said, nodding.
"You drove my car in the ghetto?" John snapped at Mel, turning around.
"J.C., this so totally isn't the ghetto. Ronnie here's exagguaring. The ghetto is the Bronx. This is just an alley. I'll go watch the car, though. It's not like you don't keep a bat in the trunk," Mel said soothingly, patting John's shoulder and going back to sit in the car, holding the bat over her shoulder. While the guys were ordering their food, Mel was sitting on top of the back seat thingy (up on the actual car with her feet on the seat... yeah it's hard to explain) twirling the bat around. She heard footsteps behind her, and whirled around, seeing three guys in black hoodies and black beanies. She groaned. "God, if you're going to try to get the car, could you at least try a little harder to look menacing?"
They all looked at each other. Then, the middle one stepped forward and spoke. "Look, kid, I don't care how tough you think you are, but just give us the car and nobody gets hurt."
"You're lying... Even if I gave you the keys you'd still throw me against the wall or something. But you don't look like you could do much. So let's all save a lot of time and pain, and how 'bout y'all just walk away?" Mel said sweetly, twirling her hair around her little finger.
The middle one spoke again. "Are you out your mind, girl? Just get out the car, give us the keys, and we'll drive away 'n you won't have a scratch on your pretty li'l face."
Mel pretended to think about it for a second. "No."
"You asked for it," the guy said, and all three of them moved toward her. She jumped at them, whacked the one on her right in the head with the baseball bat and tripped the one on her left. They both fell down, and she stepped to the side of the middle one, before ramming the bat into the back of his knees. She jumped on all three of them, and then started mercilessly hitting them with the bat until they managed to get up and run away. John, Randy, Chris, and Dave chose that moment to come out, holding bags of McDonalds. Mel glared, and got back in the car.
"Did we miss something...?" Dave said, blinking.
"Yes, these three gangsters came up and tried to steal the car and I beat down their asses with the bat," Mel told them, raising her eyebrows and tossing the bat into the backseat.
John eyed her suspiciously. "Stop messing around, Mel. That's not funny." He stuck a fry in his mouth, getting into the back seat.
"No joke, bro. They're gone, though. They had "no chance in hell", as our beloved employer would say," Mel said, air quoting.
"Did you get hurt?" Randy asked her, concern glossing over his bright blue eyes.
She smiled. "Yeah, I'm cool. Bitches didn't lay a finger on me."
"I'm proud of you, kid," Dave chuckled, and Mel shot him a warning glare. "I mean... dear girl, that was amazing."
John tousled her hair. "It's because of my brilliant teachings."
Mel rolled her eyes. "Of course... Thank you, oh wise older brother of mine. Now, can we go? I'd like to get real food, if ya don't mind."
"Drive, kid," Chris told her, and she flipped him off over her shoulder.
"Don't call me kid!"
-----
When they reached Madison Square Gardens, the entire building seemed to pulse with a quiet, incessant buzz that filled the ears of all those around. Everyone was always whispering wherever they went, and it all seemed to be about some big announcement. The majority of the Smackdown roster was hanging around in catering, and they sat with Matt, Jeff, Rey, and Scotty.
"Yo, what's up with all the gossip? I heard Vince was gonna say something, but I had no idea it was important enough to get everyone talking," Chris said, grabbing a can of Pepsi out of the ice chest.
Scotty shrugged. "Who knows? But, well, for Vince to work up all this mystery around it, it must be somethin' big."
"Yeah, he usually just keeps everything quiet," Rey commented.
"Whatever. The old man better do it soon into the show. I'm just dying of anticipation," Mel said, her voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Old man? Watch it, Cena, I could burn your contract," someone's voice. Mel spun around to see no other than Mr. McMahon himself.
"'Ay-yo, Mr. M. Whatcha got everyone worked up for?" she greeted him casually, trying to override the fact that she had called him old.
"You'll have to wait, Cena, just like everybody else," he told her, before disappearing off into the crowd.
"Something tells me he doesn't like you very much," Matt said.
"Just what I was thinkin', big bro," Jeff agreed.
Mel rolled her eyes. "Whatever. If he fires me, he'll have to pay me whatever I would've gotten from a five-year contract. I actually read the fine print on said contract that I signed."
While they talked, Mel's ear was listening in on all the rumours flying around. Vince was selling the company, he was shutting it down, Arnold Schwarzenegger was joining the WWE... All insane theories, Mel decided, so she tuned them out after a while and let her head rest on Randy's shoulder, making idle chatter with her friends. After what seemed like minutes but was really hours passed by, a bell rang to signify that the show had 1 minute before it started. Vince had said earlier that he was going to go out first to make his announcement, so Mel, John, Randy, Chris, Dave, Matt, and Jeff set up in John's locker room to watch it. Finally, Tazz and Michael stopped talking and Vince came out.
He made a brief introduction before getting down to business. "Now, as you all know, a few years ago, the WWE split into two seperate rosters, RAW and Smackdown."
Dave groaned. "Not another Draft Lottery..."
"Nah, he wouldn't have made such a big deal if it was that," Chris said, pushing his hair behind him.
"Now, the seperated rosters have worked out okay for the time we've been using the system," Vince continued. "But, after several meetings comparing profits, viewings, and all that business stuff, myself and the other WWE associates have come to a decision." He paused for dramatic effect.
"He just has to make it obvious, doesn't he?" Randy said, stretching.
"We've decided that the two rosters should unite again, so that the Superstars will be appearing on both shows!" he finally said, and the crowd started cheering. "This will start next week on RAW, and we're excited to start revive the old WWE!"
Mel's mouth dropped open in mock surprise. "Like, O-M-G. I so didn't see that coming. I mean, that was a shock. Wasn't that a shock, you guys?" They snickered, and she grinned.
"Greaat. I get to be with Kurt, king of the pricks," John muttered, and Mel leaned over and pinched his cheek.
"Aww, sourpuss, don't worry, you got yo crew to back you up now," she said, releasing his cheek and patting his head before she settled back onto the floor.
"Aaand guess what Dave, we get to see our old buddies from Evolution. Won't that be fun?" Randy grumbled.
Dave shrugged. "Shouldn't be too hard to keep 'em off our backs. Ric and Hunter ain't friends anymore, and they're easy to take apart. Hunter's more talk than action, and Flair... Well, he's just old."
"Not to mention Hunter's enormous nose gets in the way of him doing anything," Chris added, laughing.
"We'll deal with shit as it comes," John said simply. The others nodded. They chilled for the rest of the show, none of them having anything to do that night. After it was over, they went out and explored New York, having a blast and getting wasted. They crawled into bed around 4 am, falling fast asleep with no clear thought.
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Okay, so the ending of the chapter was pretty bad, but well, the chapter was driving me crazy because I kept getting stuck at bits. Anyway, I combined the rosters together again because the inspiration struck me, and it was somewhere to go. I've got ideas for the next chapter, so hopefully it won't be too long 'til the next chapter... But I'm not too satisfied with where the story's going. I'm going to finish it for sure, but I may cut it shorter than planned. Feedback, please? Do you guys still like it or is it going downhill? It'd be much appreciated. Thank ya.