I'm back and here's chapter four! I'm starting to run dry on humor already as I've used them for my fanfics already. Anyway, I hope that this is still funny. Thanks again for all the reviews and support, guys! I'm lucky I even got through to write this! Well, at least now that I have DW5 I can put in the new characters. Hey, I've been thinking of any other Shu or Wei characters that should come to visit. If you want anyone else to visit Lu Xun just say so and I'll try to put him/her in! Gah, there might be slight yaoi in this chapter. Shield your eyes! The rating goes up in this chapter for swearing and other stuff...

Disclaimer: I don't own Dynasty Warriors

Chapter IV: In a World of Trouble

Hey, Lu Xun here again.

Did I leave you guys all hanging? Anyway, so back to the story…

So there he was, smack dab in probably the worst fight of his life. A group of muscular men surrounded Zhou Yu ready to beat the living hell out of him. "We'll tear you limb from limb!" the leader bellowed, cracking his knuckles.

But as I the fight nearly began, my door opened and in came the dynamic duo.

"Hey, there Mickey Mouse, did ya miss us?" Gan Ning jeered, throwing to me the bottle of water.

"Well, the helium has worn off," I said, "So you can stop making fun of me having a high voice."

"I can, but I don't wanna!" the pirate laughed, poking my forehead. I felt rather nauseous. He pokes hard.

"Oh yeah, Lu Xun, have you seen Zhou Yu? I was supposed to meet him here." Lord Sun Ce asked me.

"He came here, but he left right away. He must be looking for you." I said steadying myself after Gan Ning's powerful poke.

"Hey, wasn't Lord Sun Quan with you?" Gan Ning asked.

I nodded, "He left. But he's still within the building. He just needed to answer nature's call."

Then Gan Ning went towards the doorway, "We gotta look for him," Gan Ning announced, "Wait for us, Lu Xun." And then they left. I frowned. Why does everyone leave me? They were supposed to come here for me. I got lonely so often there. But at least they were gone. So I opened my computer and it automatically opened at the front door where I saw Zhou Tai, Ling Tong, Huang Gai, Lord Sun Jian and Lord Lu Meng enter.

"Hey, guys, we'll never find Lu Xun's room if we just stand here so let's get going!" Lord Lu Meng exclaimed only to get moans from Ling Tong and Huang Gai. "Must we walk?" Huang Gai lamented, "We just got here." Ling Tong nodded, "Besides, I'm not too hot about the idea of seeing Lu Xun after he got burned and all…" Lord Sun Jian gave a nod, folding his arms across his chest, "Come now, definitely he can wait just seconds, you know…" "Fine, fine, fine, I'll go look for it and you two do what you're supposed to. What ever that is…" Lord Lu Meng sighed, walking off.

Zhou Tai eyed him, "I'll look for Lord Sun Quan…"

Then they all went different ways.

Just then that dirty horse guy who forgot my name came in along with Zhuge Liang and that protégé of his. "Prime Minister," Jiang Wei said, "Where is the First Ruler?" Fanning himself, the Shu strategist answered, "He's in the children's ward I think, come we shall meet up with him…" The horse guy, Pang Tong, what? Oh, Pang Tong's the dirty, ragged hobo guy? Then who is this guy, Wei Yan? No? That's the beast-like tribal guy with a mask? Really, now, I thought that Wei Yan was Tarzan. Then who is the horse guy? Oh, that's Ma Chao.

Ahem, so Ma Chao spoke up, "Right, I'll just get some snacks for everyone at the snack bar. Every hospital's gotta have one, you know. I'll meet up with you guys later."

I then switched to Liu Bei. They were gonna get there anyway.

Guan Yu was sitting beside a nauseous Zhao Yun who was holding a chunk of ice to his head. "Are you going to be okay with that concussion? You took quite a blow from me when I smacked you on the head with a table." Guan Yu said, "Forgive me but I was angry."

Zhao Yun just stared at him blankly and nodded. "You hit me on the head with a table?"

"I think our Lord Liu Bei will be pleased to find that you're still alright."

"Who's Liu Bei?"

"What did you say?"

"I asked who Liu Bei is."

"What are you talking about, Zhao Yun?"

"What's a Zhao Yun?"

"Oh shit."

Guan Yu began to sweat heavily, "Brother! Brother! There's something wrong with Zhao Yun!" he called to Liu Bei, getting more anxious.

But Liu Bei didn't hear him for he had his own problems. He knew that he needed to cheer the kids up. After all, he needed to impress Sun Shang Xiang. "I have no idea why, but I actually want to cheer these kids up. Just seeing the smile on their face is…wonderful…"

Sure, but I still can't trust that dork.

Just then Zhang Fei came up to Liu Bei, "Hey, I have an idea. I'll do a magic show!" he exclaimed, "You guys could help me with the allusions and stuff!"

"Zhang Fei, its illusions."

"Brother!" Guan Yu cut-in.

"What? What is it?" Liu Bei asked.

"It's Zhao Yun! He has amnesia!"

"What? Amnesia?"

"Yes, he's here. He's…"

But when they looked there was no one on the chair.

"…not here…"

Sweat trickled down Liu Bei's face. "We have to find him!"

Guan Yu nodded, "Brother, we shall go. Lady Sun and Zhang Fei shall stay here and finish the job."

"Right, come on, Guan Yu!"

I switched the camera trying to follow them, but alas, I saw Lu Bu outside in the parking lot talking to a policeman.

"Sir, you illegally parked your pink horse in a no parking zone and do you have a license for those cockroach antennas?" the police man asked, as he began writing down on a notebook pad.

"Pink! Red Hare is RED! And these happen to be peacock feather head ornaments!" Lu Bu protested, "And what is this parking you speak of?"

"Sir, do you know it is illegal to ride a pink horse like that here?"

"It's RED I said, you idiot!"

"Sir, I'm afraid you'll have to come downtown with me." The police man said as he took a pair of handcuffs out.

"You'll never take me without a fight!" Lu Bu screeched pulling out his pointy big-ass halberd, "Die, scum!" (Lu Bu's Theme song starts playing)

"ARGH!" the policeman groaned as Lu Bu cut him down with his Musou Rage.

His halberd smashed into car hoods and into the floor, smashing everything in sight.

"Who dares threaten the mighty Lu Bu with these big words of parking? Lu Bu does not fear PARKING!"

Then the loud sound of sirens blasted through the air and more policemen came.

"Enemy reinforcements are here!" Lu Bu exclaimed, "But they are still no match for me!"

"Get that man with the pink horse!"

He raised his halberd in the air and it came smashing down to the ground when the policemen came. "RED!" Then he grabbed one policeman and threw him at the others. "That's right, you scum! Fear me!"(Theme song stops)

So I changed the camera once more, as I found Lu Bu's stupidity painful. Besides, since he cut down one of those police more will surely come soon making that a bloody scene.

Then I remembered what I was originally watching, so I switched back to see Zhou Yu trying to take on the large dirty and possibly drunk men.

"Why don't you just come along with us? If you do we won't have to break your pretty face."

"What are you insane?" Zhou Yu snapped.

And why they weren't fighting yet is something I have yet to realize. But as they continued the stare-off, I saw Ma Chao approaching!

He stopped and hid behind a wall. "It's a damsel in distress!" Ma Chao exclaimed, "This looks like a job for…" Then he pulled out underwear and spandex and changed into them with the underwear on the outside. Then he donned a black mask and tied a big red cape to his back.

"SUPER MA CHAO, UPHOLDER OF JUSTICE!"

So this is what Ma Chao does in his spare time…

I laughed my head off seeing him in that silly outfit with nothing but socks for footwear. He then ran towards Zhou Yu and the men around him, "Villains, you are no match for -"

Suddenly he slipped because of his socks.

"Who are you?" Zhou Yu exclaimed shocked to see Ma Chao trip over his socks, but miraculously, he slipped forward and unto one of the men surrounding Zhou Yu.

"W-What is that guy?"

"He must be Batman!"

Then Ma Chao stood up and grabbed Zhou Yu, hoisting him over his shoulder.

"Hey, put me down!" Zhou Yu screeched beating Ma Chao's back as the caped crusader ran from the muscular men who gave chase.

"What a troublesome little girl!"

"Let me go, you lunatic!"

Ma Chao ignored the beatings and looked back to see the muscular men chasing him. "It's time to use my Ma Chao Boomerangs!" the spandex-laden Ma Chao cried as he threw paperclips at the men.

"Was that supposed to hurt?" the leader asked, while the paperclips bounced off his chest. "Get that Superman guy!" The men then gave chase.

"Damn, I knew I should've tested them first…"

At that moment, Lord Lu Meng came into the room. I hid the laptop behind my pillow and sat up properly.

"Good morning, Lu Xun, I trust that you have rested." Lord Lu Meng greeted, entering.

I smiled at him, trying to hide the laptop. "Yes, many have come to visit."

"That's good…" Lord Lu Meng said taking a seat, "What was that you were playing with anyway? You can't hide it from me, Lu Xun. I saw it."

"What are you trying to say?" I asked, becoming nervous. Damn, had he seen the laptop?

"Well?"

"Oh, Lord Lu Meng, could you please go to the pharmacy on the ground floor? I need to take some pills."

"What pills?"

"Erm…umm…penicillin, cephalosporin and aminoglycosides…" I answered for they were the only words related to pills I could remember.

Lord Lu Meng sighed as he went outside, "You better tell me what that was when I'm back." He said, "It wasn't pornography was it?"

"NO! Why would it be?"

Then he shrugged, "I dunno, I was merely guessing." And then he left me in peace once more for me to spy on people.

So I decided to check on him first. He was going to the elevator, cause the pharmacy was on the ground floor, remember? Anyway, so when he got there, he pressed the down button and it went down ever so slowly. The silly elevator music played on and on, as Lord Lu Meng tapped hit foot impatiently.

All of a sudden, the elevator came to a complete stop and he found himself stuck!

Lord Lu Meng got thrown on the floor by the impact. He sat up, rubbing his sore head.

Then I hit a button on the laptop accidentally, Oops! Heh, heh, heh… What? I just took twelve painkillers! Don't blame me…

It switched to the hallway where Gan Ning was walking. He was headed straight for Ling Tong who was going the other way.

"So if it isn't the dirty pirate." Ling Tong sneered upon seeing Gan Ning.

"Gah, Ling Tong, why the hell are you here?"

"I'm here to visit Lu Xun, you moron."

"I thought you were scared to see him."

"Well, I'm not headed there right now."

"Then where are you headed?"

"No where."

"Then you're gonna help me find Lord Sun Quan?"

"Why, is he lost?"

"Oh, ya think? Why else should I be lookin' then, ya ninny!"

"I'm no ninny, you dim-witted pirate!"

"Come on, we gotta cut this insulting, cause we gotta find our lord."

"You're just scared…" Ling Tong grumbled inaudibly.

"Huh?"

So the two best friends or enemies, whatever, walked on and on for stretches, until they came to a really old part of the hospital where there was hardly any light except for one dim lamp which was hanging from the ceiling dangerously. The tiles on the floor were cracked and some parts were empty. The paint on the walls was peeling and the windows of that hallway were boarded up by masking tape. Also, the cameras in that wing were old and of poor quality. I mean, I could hardly see a thing.

Ling Tong began to shiver, "Where are we?"

With a gulp, Gan Ning answered, "What are you talking about, I was following you!"

Then Ling Tong began to nibble on his already short nails as they walked onwards. Then a metallic and large door appeared before them. With no choice left, they entered the room.

They then found themselves in a room full of stretchers covered by cloths. There were rows and rows of them, but what was really freaky was that feet were sticking out and there were freaky tags.

They were at the hospital morgue!

"Gan Ning, we have to get out of here! Do you know where we are?" Ling Tong shivered, "If we don't leave soon, I'm gonna end up like them because of heart attack caused by too much terror! Besides, what if they decide to get up?"

"Oh shit, the door is jammed shut!" Gan Ning wailed, trying to force open the door.

"You have got to be kidding!" Ling Tong panicked.

Just then Gan Ning stood up straight and began laughing, "Hah, you should've seen your face, Ling Tong!" the pirate laughed, holding his sides, "You actually thought we were trapped inside!"

"Damn you! You tricked me!" Ling Tong exclaimed angrily, stamping his feet.

The pirate hollered so loud; loud enough to wake the dead…

Then at that moment, they heard an unearthly moan from one of the bodies and suddenly there was a click at the door. A shiver ran up both men's spines as the moan got louder and they began to shake so much.

"Was that the door locking?" Ling Tong asked with a gulp. Gan Ning nodded, "Oh god, Ling Tong, tell me that was your stomach." the pirate muttered frightened as they both hugged each other. They're knees were shaking like jelly.

Then the moan got louder once more.

"Sorry…it wasn't me…" Ling Tong answered through trembling lips as he and Gan Ning turned around.

I accidentally hit a button on my keyboard and the scene changed. Well, don't blame me; I just took twelve painkillers…

Then I saw Zhao Yun walking heading straight for that whacko, Ma Chao who was still carrying Zhou Yu on his shoulder.

The crazed superhero lit up upon seeing Zhao Yun. "Citizen, take this damsel for me while I lead these sweaty men the other way!" Ma Chao yelled, throwing Zhou Yu into Zhao Yun's arms. The amnesiac just stared blankly at Ma Chao, once he caught Zhou Yu.

Then Ma Chao dashed the other way.

Zhao Yun looked confused. "Who are you?" he called after Ma Chao who laughed, thinking that his disguise was perfect. Actually, Zhao Yun just couldn't remember who Ma Chao was.

"Put me down!" Zhou Yu barked, calling Zhao Yun back to his senses. "You want me to drop you to the floor?" the Shu general asked, letting go immediately. "AAH! No, don't drop me, you twit!" Zhou Yu snapped, holding onto Zhao Yun's neck, "I can let myself down, just let go when I do."

Suddenly, the pursuing men came and saw Zhao Yun carrying Zhou Yu.

"AGH!" the leader shrieked, "That guy must be the nurse's boyfriend!"

Upon hearing this Zhou Yu stopped abruptly and his face turned all red. Zhao Yun blushed as well.

"I am?" Zhao Yun asked, staring at them.

"No, h-he's not!" Zhou Yu protested, turning redder as he let go of Zhao Yun's neck, "H-how can that be!"

The leader of the muscular men looked angry, "Don't deny it! That must be why you resist my irresistible charm."

Irresistible charm, huh, he must be joking… I'm surprised he could even pronounce that…

"I'm going to beat your ass, lover boy and then I'm going to take your girl!"

"I am not his girl, you heathen pig!" Zhou Yu protested angrily, as Zhao Yun let him down.

"You may be thinking that now, cutie, but once I'm done with lover boy here, you' won't think I'm a pig." The leader said, putting up his fists before his face, "Cause now, you're facing a big, strong grizzly bear, lover boy!" The leader circled Zhao Yun who just stared at him.

Then as the muscular man moved to punch Zhao Yun, the Shu general's fist automatically came out and jabbed the man's face.

"What was that!" the leader moaned, as blood came from his nose.

"I-I'm sorry!" Zhao Yun apologized, "I didn't know that I could do this."

Then without warning the man's fist came at Zhao Yun who grabbed his wrist automatically and pulled it behind the man's back. "Whoa, look what I can do!"

Zhao Yun let the guy go. "Please, I have no intentions of fighting."

Suddenly, Ma Chao came running down the hall screaming, "SUPER MA CHAO TO THE RESCUE!"

He then tackled the leader and started throwing paperclips at his face. "My Ma Chao boomerangs shall assure that this couple's love is protected! By the way, Zhao Yun, nice girlfriend you have there."

"Who's Zhao Yun?" the amnesiac asked.

After pummeling the man's face with small colorful paperclips which he called boomerangs, Ma Chao stood up and leapt over to Zhao Yun and Zhou Yu. "Now, kiss you two love birds!" he exclaimed, grabbing their heads and moving them together. Then both their lips met.

Zhao Yun blushed.

"Ugh! That is the vilest thing I have ever done!" Zhou Yu moaned, spitting on the floor, "I'll kill you, you crazed moronic superhero freak!"

"I need no thanks, for this is my job as…SUPER MA CHAO!"

"Super crazy is more like it…"

"Now, Zhao Yun, you and your – Zhao Yun? Where are you?" the caped lunatic looked about, but found no Zhao Yun there, "Ooh, Zhao Yun, where are you?"

It seemed that Zhao Yun had unwittingly walked off, still as lost as ever. So he decided to ask for directions. He saw this tall, lanky lady in white and decided to ask her.

"Excuse me, ma'am." Zhao Yun said, tapping her on the shoulder.

Then she turned around. It was the evil nurse lady! AUGH! Her eyes went all shiny, like flying saucers and she had a huge smile on that bony, nasty face of hers.

"And who are you?" she asked, lowering her voice to a purr. Zhao Yun didn't seem to be sure if he was supposed to be insulted or frightened.

Swallowing hard, Zhao Yun said, "Uh, I was just about to ask you-"

"You were going to ask me to marry you? Of course I will!" she exclaimed, tackling Zhao Yun with a huge bouquet in her skinny, skinny hands.

"Wha…N-no, that's not what I meant!" he cried, slipping from her skinny grasps. Then she grinned at him menacingly with her teeth showing, "Ah, please stay away!" With that, he ran like hell.

"Noooooooooo!" he screamed, "STAY AWAY!"

Sorry, if it got really stupid, but I haven't been writing so…