The Best Type of Riley Finn

By SilverWolf7007

Trial One: Concussion by Book

Buffy was fairly sure that she had never been so bored in her entire life.

Having endless slayers running around the world might seem like a good thing, but it left both her and Faith with very little to do.

Oh sure, there was the whole training of the newbies thing that Giles, Robin and Andrew were running, but, well…it just wasn't any fun.

As such, they were currently hiding from Giles, who wanted them to put a group of girls through a training session.

Buffy eyed the small stand of trees Faith had led her to with doubt. "And you think that there is no way for Giles to find us when we're here hiding under the trees in plain view of the house?"

Faith rolled her eyes. "Look, Giles isn't gonna look very hard. He knows that we're sick of this gig. So we skip this training thing, sit out here, and we should be left alone."

"Well, I hope you're right."

As it happened, she was.

This led to them lounging on the ground, chatting randomly.

This led them to a topic usually best avoided by anybody – Riley Finn.

"I've got a random question for you about soldier boy," Faith said suddenly.

Buffy shrugged. "Okay, shoot."

"What's your best memory of him?"

The blonde slayer smirked. "The day we met." A dreamy look came into her eyes and a wistful smile appeared on her lips.

Faith raised an eyebrow. Then she rolled her eyes. "Are you going to tell me about it?"

"Oh! Sure. See, Willow and I were in the library on the first day of college, and we were after the psych books. And obviously the librarians there were totally insensitive to short psych students, as they were on the top shelf."

"So what, he got them down for you?" she asked with a roll of her eyes.

Buffy snorted. "Ah, no. Actually, I tried for them, knocked them down, and…" the wistful smile reappeared with a hint of evil. "They fell on his head. Nearly knocked him out."

Faith burst into laughter.

Once she had recovered, she had another question for Buffy. "So, what is the best type of Riley Finn?"

"Um, a concussed one, maybe?"

"Concussed by what?"

"Anything, I guess. Is there a difference?"

An odd look crossed the dark haired slayer's face. "Hey B. You happen to know where the soldier boy in question is at the moment?"

Buffy frowned, confused. "Funnily enough, yes. He and his wife are tracking some demon somewhere nearby; Xander ran into them, literally. They're still in town."

"Good. We have an experiment to conduct."

"Faith, I think you should know that you sound like someone's high school chem teacher."

She rolled her eyes and grabbed the shorter girl's wrist. "Come on!"

"Where are we going?"

"I'll show you when we get there!"

"Did you just quote the Lion King at me?"

"Not on purpose."

"Okay then."

Buffy was holding one of Giles' 'musty old books', one of the very large, heavy ones. Faith was holding a video camera (that she had 'borrowed' from Andrew), a sheet of paper and had a pen behind her ear.

The two of them were standing in an alley just beside a small café, where Riley and Sam Finn were currently having coffee.

"Run this by me one more time. Exactly what are we doing?"

Faith sighed. "We are going to conduct a series of trials, each one concussing Riley Finn in a different way. We are then going to examine our results and decide on the best method for concussing said Riley Finn."

"I guess I can't back out now." Buffy couldn't help but grin. "The best Riley Finn is a concussed Riley Finn, after all."

"Exactly."

Ten minutes later, Sam and Riley walked past their alley. Buffy headed out, Faith on her heels with the video recorder pressed to her eye.

"Buffy!" exclaimed the astonished man. "What are you doing here?"

The blond shrugged. "Oh, we were in the neighbourhood."

Riley looked over her shoulder, ogled Faith for a moment, was elbowed by his wife, and then looked back to Buffy.

He didn't get a chance to speak further.

Buffy hefted the book in her hands, grabbed it by the base and slammed it forcibly into Riley's skull.

There was a thud as Riley hit the ground, then silence.

"That felt good," Buffy said with a grin.

Faith laughed from behind her, still recording. "Nice shot."

Sam stared from them to her unconscious husband and back again, completely in shock.

Faith switched off the camera, passed it to Buffy, pulled out her pen and paper and began noting down various pros and cons of concussing Riley Finn with a large book.

Much later that night, the two of them were lounging around yet again, this time in front of the warm fire in the lounge room of Giles' home, where the Scooby Gang had moved to.

"So, what's next on the list?" Buffy asked eagerly, turning to where Faith was rewriting her notes more neatly into a notebook.

Faith shrugged. "You pick. He's your ex."

Buffy smirked. "All right then. I will."

Trial One: Success!

Score - Slayers: 1, Soldier Boy: 0, Musty Old Books: 42

Uh, no, I don't like Riley. Could you tell? This story has thirteen planned fairly short chapters, and so far, is just plain fun to write.

Next time, Trial Two: Concussion by Stake

Please review.

S. Wolf