"I try to be strong. But sometimes all I see is darkness—fragments of who I am. Will I ever feel whole?"
Jarod, The Pretender

Recommended Music:
Scene 1: "Hinata vs. Neji," Naruto
Scene 2: "Fate," Full Metal Alchemist
Scene 3: "Caged Bird," D.N. Angel
Scene 4: "Before Dawn," .hack/SIGN
Scene 5: "Angel Voice," Minmei version, Macross 7

Black Wings
Chapter Five: "Empty Prayers"
In the span of four days, nothing had changed. True, the Mt. Fuji Resistance had reclaimed the hospital and was quickly retaking the surrounding town, but nothing else had really changed. Yutaka was still sick and unconscious, and according to Osamu, Kouji was still catatonic. Stress kept building in the team, threatening to consume them as the bacterium had Yutaka. To put it mildly, they were breaking.

Osamu walked into the mess of the Underground Railroad to see Kage scanning through hoards of information on his computer before furiously typing out notes. An entire pot of coffee and a filled cup were in front of him.

"You should get some sleep," he advised. "That coffee's going to do more harm than good to you."

"It's decent this time," Kage replied. "Some mysterious benefactor is making sure we get better food and supplies."

"That's not what I meant," Osamu informed, standing before his friend. "When's the last time you slept?"

Kage didn't even look up. "When I was drunk four days ago."

"It's going to make you sick—if it doesn't kill you on the battlefield."

"I know. But ever time I try to sleep, paranoia wakes me up."

Osamu looked puzzled. "This wasn't always that way, was it?"

"No. No matter what happened, I never had to worry about insomnia. But then, I never had to worry about my own teammates trying to kill each other either."

"Get some rest," Osamu urged. "If the leader suffers, the team dies."

"I know. I know I should, but I can't. So much has gone wrong in the past days that when I close my eyes, I see it all. And when it all wakes me up, I just end up lying there on my cot, trying to figure out how I got here. I mean, I could have just done like my sister wanted and kept out of things. She wouldn't talk to me for a few days after I joined the Resistance, and she was still mad about my decision up until Dad died. Sure, she also joined, but she knew how to take care of herself while I didn't. I could have listened to her. I could have hated the Kaiser in private, but I didn't; I…" He sighed. "And now I don't know what I should do from here. I sent a letter to my sister when Himi got sick. I'm waiting for a reply."

"Do you think she has the answers you need?"

"No. But just knowing she's still alive gives me some peace of mind."

Osamu nodded in comprehension. "So what are you looking at?"

"The Kaiser's military roster," he answered. "I managed to hack it."

"What happened to 'print it read it burn it'?"

"Paranoia takes a day off when you're exhausted and stressed. Besides, this was an extremely sensitive security system. I can look, but I can't touch. If I tried to alter it or print it out, the Kaiser would know. I can scroll, but nothing else." He turned the computer and pointed out one name on the list. "Looks like the war's coming closer to home."

"Kamui Shibayama?"

"I was running a search on her when you came in. Junpei's second cousin in Shikoku, now a middle-rank officer in the Imperial Guard. But as far as I know, they weren't very close."

"Still, it's someone else they know."

"Which makes it all the harder." He sighed again. "Where is everyone anyway?"

"Taking part in the religious or spiritual activity of their choice. At this rate, they're hoping prayer might give them peace." Kage nodded, absorbing this.

"Osamu, you're the only one who would know, and it's a stupid question, but…" He trailed off, cursing himself for being so stupid.

"You're asking me if I know if there's a God." It was not a question.

"I know it's stupid, but yes."

It was Osamu's turn to sigh this time. "I can't say. But I can say that our loved ones are always with us, always watching, just as I had with Ken. Your father's still with you and your sister. Just keep believing in what you believe in, and don't worry so much about it."

Kage nodded grimly. "But there's only one problem. I don't believe in anything."

"That's a lie."

He looked up in surprise. "What?"

"You may be an atheist, but you certainly don't believe in nothing. You wouldn't be the leader otherwise. And you believe in your sister." Osamu handed over a letter. "Yours took a while to get there since they've moved to a new location, but she responded as soon as she got it." Kage grabbed the envelope and burned the new address in his head: Lяoα. It was there he could find his sister; it was there he could find relief.

The letter contained sparse details of a recent victory, but all he cared about were the assurances. The comfort offered would be confusing for those who only knew of Taiyou's rough edges and didn't really know her. Kage more than knew her; he loved her and looked up to her. She knew him just as well, and her letter told him everything he needed.

As much as he hated to, he placed the precious note in the fire. When the delicate paper crinkled and reduced to black ashes, he did something he hadn't in many years.

He cried. He cried all alone for his loneness. There was no one there to dry his tears. There was no one there to whisper to him that it would be all right. There was no one there to know, no one there to care. And when he was done and resumed his work, no one knew and no one cared.

Kouji walked the streets in a daze, picking up discarded weapons and placing them in a heavy oversized sack. He did not see the sunlight behind the clouds. He did not feel the dampness of his clothes from the earlier rain shower. He did not hear the chattering and bickering of other slaves. He did not wear the guise of a Digimon, but of a human. He did not think of anything other than haunting images of senseless hatred that brutalized his mind. He did not love. He did not hate.

The woman with him did not know and did not care. She was Niabi Utagawa, and she wanted to live—that was all that mattered. What should she care for a boy who did not care who he was and did not care that he was alive? She had no love for him. She had no hate for him. She simply wanted to survive.

By now, pain was beyond Kouji's realm of perception. Any type of feeling was. The memory of his family's death was all that could possibly hurt. And it didn't just hurt. It made him insane. It left him far number than his paralyzed right arm, a defect that left him an open target.

Reiyama had never needed a reason to torment Kouji. He would do as he pleased and invent an excuse later. It was difficult, but he considered himself a creative man; for every attempt Kouji made to look innocent, Reiyama always made him look guilty. But for once in five months, he didn't have to create a lie.

One thing Kouichi had not told his Guardsmen was that his brother's arm was useless. He had not been able to reveal it; the Kaiser knew while Kouichi did not, and he hadn't bothered to inform his host. The only one who knew was Osamu, and he was currently busy with the Resistance.

Take one ruthless Imperial colonel and add a catatonic slave and a medical misunderstanding. Shake well. Serve cold.

Reiyama threw his handgun to Kouji's right side. On any other day, the boy could grab it before it hit the ground, but not anymore with his lame arm. He had to lean over to pick it up with his left.

"You're taking too long," Reiyama snarled. Niabi pretended not to notice as he walked up beside Kouji and ripped the sack off his arm. There was no reaction. "You're not even trying. Pick these up."

Blankly, numbly, Kouji knelt down and started picking up the weapons and tucking them under his left arm. The action only served to fuel Reiyama's temper.

"Not going to use that arm, eh?" he asked in a chillingly calm voice. He located his gun and shot Kouji's right forearm, shattering the two bones. "There. Now you have a reason not to use it."

Had he known what kind of a response that would incite, he probably wouldn't have tried it. Clarity returned to Kouji, along with love and hate. His blank eyes brightened with a cold, hateful light as he grabbed the nearest weapon and swung it at his enemy. Caught off-guard, Reiyama got hit in the jaw, but it didn't take long for him to recover and disarm the boy, twisting his good arm behind his back while holding a gun to his head. Two sets of fierce breathing inhaled and exhaled in unison as two very different creatures took in the same air. That knowledge would have scared them if they weren't so entangled in their mutual hatred to notice. But another realization hit Reiyama as hard as the rifle to his face had. He sneered as he slipped his gun back in its holster.

"No, I can't kill you," he taunted. "That's what you want." It took no more than a few seconds for him to take out a ready-made syringe that he kept in his belt for just this type of situation, and he injected it into Kouji's deltoid muscle. It took an even shorter amount of time for the powerful tranquilizer to start taking effect. His eyes dimmed, and his muscles started to give out. Reiyama casually let go of him and watched him drop to the ground. With a morbidly pleased expression on his face, Reiyama walked away.

Niabi waited until the mercenary was far enough away before she bent down next to Kouji and hissed, "Bold move, but stupid. Do us all a favor and don't try it again." She glared as the very last spark of light in his eyes was extinguished, and he lost consciousness. He would not reawaken again, not emotionally anyway.

A woman in the distance placed a pair of purple sunglasses over her dark eyes and walked off into the inner reaches of the city. She had not been able to keep that promise, but she would not fail in her other obligations. There was more that needed to be done.

It seemed that everywhere Kage turned, there was another temple or shrine. At each of these was somebody he knew from the Resistance or from his life before it. Some of these people he knew personally, others by reputation, face, or name. Others he thought he should know but didn't. They never saw him, but he always felt eyes upon him, the eyes of both dead and living gods, foreign and local, well known and obscure. Good, evil, and neutral gods alike laughed at him, this pathetic mortal atheist who seemed to try to reach their level. He could hear the universe laughing at him, pointing and laughing. He couldn't take it anymore. He had to run.

Now human eyes joined the spectral ones. Mentally, he cursed himself for spiking his brown hair and dying the tips blond, making himself so conspicuous. Added to the fact that genetics ensured that he was a lot taller than the average fourteen-year-old, and he stuck out like a sore thumb. He was a freak, easily recognizable amongst the perfectly normal Japanese Imperials. They would know right away that something wasn't right about him, that he wasn't one of them.

They would alert the Kaiser, his panicked mind realized. The Imperial Guard would haul him off and force him to reveal his team's location. Then they would kill everyone while he had to watch. And then they would find Taiyou and do the same to her. He could already see her hateful expression. In his mind's eye, she towered over him, emanating an aura of anger the same crimson as blood, as were the clothes she'd worn the last time he'd seen her.

"You bastard," she growled, sounding more like a tigress than a human. "You killed my father." She then tackled him to the ground. The force of impact sent his arms in the air, grabbing for a handhold…

He snapped awake immediately, finding himself lying on secluded road beside a Shinto temple. He'd passed out from his exhaustion and dementia. What he'd told Osamu earlier was wrong. Paranoia did not take a day off, ever.

He sat up, wiping his sweaty face with his equally sweaty palm as he tried to collect himself. He was losing it. He had to be if he was delirious enough to have a dream that he was Kouji Minamoto facing Taiyou's rage. Osamu was right; insomnia was going to kill him if it didn't endanger somebody else first.

He snorted, thinking sardonically, Wonder if that's the first time anyone puts "insomnia" down as cause of death. He had to get some real sleep soon—only lack of sleep could make him insane enough to think that was funny.

He finally picked himself off the street and entered the temple. This time, there weren't any people around: no priests or priestesses, no worshippers, nobody but Kage Tenshi. It helped him feel a lot more comfortable.

There was a reflecting pool in the middle of the grounds with a small footpath extending over it. He walked to it and stared into the calm waters. Unlike other similar pools he'd seen, this one didn't contain large koi goldfish. Rather, it was supposed to be a liquid mirror, a window to the soul. To better understand himself, he focused on his image in the mirror.

It was as if for the first time in his life he could see, as though coming out of blindness. His brown hair was long, earlobe-length, and spiked out so as not to obscure his vision. That much he could accept for the most part. But the color… His mother has been blond, as was Taiyou, but Kage shared the same medium brown his father had had. These blonde tips were just ridiculous—an atrocity that had to go.

What the hell was I thinking when I did that? he wondered, amused. Or a better question: what was I on?

He held his head under the water to wash out all the gel that kept his hair up. When he sat up again, sweeping long dripping bangs out of his face, he pulled a Swiss Army knife out of his pocket and opened the scissors. With a newfound maturity, he cut away the false blond, cutting away his weak, unmotivated persona. And without the paranoid fear of someone checking his DNA, he threw the severed locks into the water. They would eventually decompose and feed whatever microbial life there was in the pool, he supposed. But then…

But then the waters calmed again so he could see his new reflection. He was different and yet the same. Just growing up wasn't enough; there was something else wrong. It was like his reflection was broken.

But that doesn't make sense! he raged. Water can't break like a mirror can!

But all reflections fragmented light. Souls give off light too, darkness too. This kind of light and darkness wasn't tangible—barring bearers of Light and Dark Seeds—but it could still be fragmented in a reflection. Break enough light and it will look dark. The opposite is also true. What light there was in his soul was far more fragmented than his darkness, and it showed him somebody he did not know yet still did. And despite all his knowledge and logic, he could not understand why.

He somehow found himself ringing the shrine's bell. His understanding of the various rituals and traditions in religion was limited, so he wasn't entirely sure what the bell's purpose was—to wake up the gods maybe? He'd never been in a position where he wanted to know these things. But in spite of everything—his confusion, his atheism—he closed his eyes and clasped his hands together in prayer.

"I honestly don't know why the hell I'm doing this," he commented. "I'm not a believer or anything; I'm hardly even a decent human being. I've stolen, I've lied, I've killed, and I'm the leader of a group of rebels fighting against the most powerful nation in the history of two worlds. We're not even a major faction; we're a tiny division of a small but loud resistance. We don't stand a chance."

He sighed and wiped his forehead, opening his eyes and placing his arms at his sides. "We're dying. We're dying inside and out. Himi's still sick with only an eighty-eight percent chance of living. Half of us can't trust each other, and our newest teammate is—I don't know what he is, a Light Tree, I guess. Anyway, he's dead and hosting a Light Seed. And so far, I'm the only one with enough nerve to talk to him. Almost everyone else is terrified of him. Add that he's the only one in the world that can help Kouji—the same guy responsible for my father's death whose entire family died at his brother's hand. I don't know what it is I'm supposed to do. I mean, it's one thing to say you hate your family, but to prove it by killing most of them and torturing your brother? That's something I can't forgive. But at the same time, it's not really him but some kind of dark spirit that's influencing him. And that's what confuses me. I'm supposed to try and help him when all I want is to kill him and that head colonel of his. And my friends want to save Kouji while Tai wants him dead. I'm torn, I'm broken in a million pieces, I…" He stopped and mentally reviewed everything he'd said. In that one instant, the little boy orphan felt even dumber than before. "I can't even keep my thoughts straight. I'm just jumping topics without any focus. And I'm praying to gods I never believed in." He groaned and wiped his brow once more before shuffling out of the temple, feeling entirely stupid.

White darkness surrounded Yutaka on all sides. He blinked as he tried to adjust. His mouth was dry as he asked, "Where is everybody?" No one answered. Briefly, he wondered if he was still asleep until he saw Dr. Yamamoto walking in the door and turning on the light. The man saw him and smiled.

"For a while we were afraid you wouldn't make it," he informed. "It's a huge relief to see you awake."

"Where are the others?" Yutaka asked. "Where's Tomoki?"

"They're all fine," Yamamoto assured. "They'll be here tomorrow during visiting hours. I'll let them know you're awake."

Yutaka tried to sit up, but dizziness pulled him back down. He felt extremely weak and tired despite all the sleep he'd had. "Why am I so weak? I thought I was cured."

"No, not completely," Yamamoto explained. "The worst of the illness is over, but you still need time to recover. You could suffer a relapse if you overexert yourself, and we'd have to start treating you all over from the beginning."

"I don't think I can even get out of bed, so don't worry," he replied. "Dr. Yamamoto, the bacterium caused mutations. Is there any chance that there are side effects?"

"As soon as you were well enough to take out of quarantine, we ran several scans on you: x-ray, CT, MRI… Everything checked out fine. However, you will probably have a delicate immune system for some time, so you'll have to watch your health." Yutaka nodded.

"It's funny though," he remarked. "Every time you hear of biological attacks of smallpox, anthrax, or whatever, you think of it as a world away. It never happens to you."

Someone must have had a lot of fun with my name, Kage mused as he wandered the darkening streets. People were staring at him, and it was uncomfortable, but he didn't acknowledge anyone or anything. Yet still he was alert. After all, he was a little boy lost in the Red Light District, so he had to ignore everything while remaining on guard.

Kage—"shadow," he thought. Well, I certainly feel dark, so I suppose that fits. Taiyou means "sun" and she's fiery as hell.

Men and women of questionable reputations began trading each other's touches while they made their way to private and public places. Disreputable adults of both sexes watched long and hard at his attractive young body. He pulled his outer shirt closer to him, though he wasn't cold. He couldn't wait to get out of there.

I just can't pass out, he reminded himself for the thirtieth time. In his time there, his paranoia had re-emerged, sharpened by fears of being sodomized.

And Tenshi means "angel," he continued, trying to concentrate on anything other than his plight. Am I an angel? Is Taiyou? No, we're far from it. Neither of us is a living example of goodness.

"Plus I'm lost in the Red Light District walking past the whore-houses," he muttered.

"What was that?" asked a lightly accented male voice. Kage sighed in exasperation. It looked like some pervert wanted to play.

"Look, I'm lost, I didn't mean to be here, and I just want to get out without becoming somebody's fuck-toy," he explained. It was then that he looked up.

It would have been easier if he'd been talking to a male prostitute or just the average pervert. Instead, he was faced with an Imperial mercenary off-duty.

Oh God, the young atheist swore.

He had never met him until this moment, but now he was face-to-face with the man who'd pulled the trigger of the gun that killed his father.

Reiyama looked human—six feet tall, pale skin, blond hair—but his almost yellow eyes were monstrous and frightening enough to leave Kage mute and shaking. There was no way this man could be human; he was honestly and truly the incarnation of evil. That was the one thing Kage could believe.

"Just an accident?" Reiyama questioned skeptically.

"Y-yes," he stammered. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going…"

From there on, Kage's memory had been blotted out from shame and anger. He just knew that Reiyama had helped him get out of the district with his virginity intact. His self-loathing was at an all-time high. He found a bench in the park and sat down, cursing himself for everything.

I can't believe it, he thought. After all that, I choked. "Taiyou's going to hate me. I can't even stand myself for being so weak."

Two voices were arguing nearby. One was Osamu's, and the other he recognized as the Kaiser's. Suspecting trouble, he ran in their direction.

"I fixed it up the best I could!" Osamu shouted. "My healing only speeds up his recovery; it doesn't take away the problem!"

"What use is a Light Seed if you don't have any power?" demanded the Kaiser—or at least the part of him that was Kouichi.

"What use is the Kaiser if he makes you lose yourself?"

He glared. "What are you?"

"What are you?"

Before the Kaiser had a chance to respond, Kage stepped in. He was haggard, his hair damp with water and sweat. He could barely walk from exhaustion, and he staggered drunkenly.

"He's human," he decided, pointing at Osamu. "I realize it now. Maybe not physically, but he has the emotional qualities that count. You? I don't know what you are. But I guess…you're just like me. Somehow."

"Who the hell are you?" the Kaiser yelled.

Kage shrugged. "I'm not sure. I've been asking myself all day."

"Just head back home," Osamu advised. "I can take care of this. Just an argument about his brother's latest injury," he added at Kage's probing look.

"All right," he answered. "But, Kaiser, you may want to keep closer tabs on your second-in-command. I don't know what he's doing in the Red Light District, and frankly, I don't want to know."

He was tired in body and weary in spirit as he walked to base, this time paying careful attention to where he was going so he wouldn't get lost again. This time, he wouldn't be lucky enough to escape the Imperials. Phantoms played on the edges of his vision, testing his sanity. He tried his hardest to block them out. The last thing he needed was another attack of dementia.

Just keep going, he urged himself. You'll be all right. It'll all be all right.

But it wasn't as easy as his mental voice made it sound. Walking all around the city all day had taken its toll on him already, so by the time he reached the forests, he was stumbling pathetically, just trying to stay on his feet. He couldn't lose consciousness again, not when he was so close to home.

Just a little farther…

"Just a little farther…"

"Just a little farther…"

He stopped cold in his tracks, heart racing and eyes wide. That voice… That voice was definitely not his own this time. It was his father's. Why wouldn't it end? Hadn't he been through enough today? He dropped to his knees, clutching his head and crying.

"No," he moaned. "No, just make it end."

"Kage!"

"Just make it stop…"

"My God, Kage, what the hell happened to you?"

"Stop it please…"

Takuya had no idea whom Kage was pleading with or what he was crying about, but he knew what he had to do. As he shouted back to the others for help, he picked his commander off the dirt. The others arrived quickly, and Junpei, being the strongest, practically carried Kage over to their camp.

Not much longer afterward, Kage sat in front of the fire with them, staring into the flames while a pot of spicy pork sausage stew bubbled over the heat. Never before had he been so humiliated. He was older than they were, and here he'd been crying like a baby all over their shoulders.

"I'm really sorry about that," he apologized, mainly to Junpei, who'd been pelted with the most tears from carrying him all the way.

"Don't be," Junpei replied. "The stress gets to us all. And you're not the first to break down on my shoulder."

"Still, it's inexcusable," Kage protested. "I just made a mess of things, and now I'm inconveniencing you even more."

"Stop being so hard on yourself," Takuya advised. "It's happened to all of us, so don't worry." He ladled out bowls of the thick tomato-and-meat stew and some dumplings. "Eat up. You need it."

"I'm not hungry."

"Quit lying," Izumi ordered. "There's no way we're letting you go without eating something."

"It'll be all right," Tomoki assured. Kage looked at him curiously. "Dr. Yamamoto said that Yutaka onii-chan woke up sometime when you were gone. We're going to see him tomorrow when visiting hours start." Finally, a bit apprehensively, Kage accepted the food and began to eat.

"So what made you freak out like that?" Takuya questioned. "I mean, you didn't even realize we were there, and you kept pleading with someone to stop."

The Minamotos' dog, sort of a mascot for the Chosen now, comfortingly rested at Kage's feet while the young man gazed at his half-devoured stew and dumpling. It took him a little time, but finally he answered, "I ran into Reiyama today."

"You what?" Takuya asked. Kage nodded and kept his head down.

"I was there, face-to-face with him, the bastard who killed all those people the Kaiser told him to, including my father." His voice started choking with tears. "But I couldn't do anything. I just stood there, and he had to actually lead me out of there. If it was Taiyou, she'd just kill him and be done with it, but I—"

"But you're not her," Izumi gently reminded him, bringing him into a hug as he started crying again. "You can't compare yourself to her. You're your own person."

"It doesn't make you weak," Tomoki added. "Sometimes you have to walk away from the enemy, or you become them."

Kage sniffed and wiped his eyes. "You're a lot wiser than I am, I can tell you that."

"Get some sleep," Junpei suggested. "You look like you need it." Already, Izumi had placed a blanket over him.

"Yeah," Takuya agreed. "This time, we'll watch over you."

It didn't take much prodding or coaxing to get Kage to sleep. The moment his head hit the soft earth, he was out, wrapped in the secure comfort of his team—no, his friends' devotion. He drew strength from it as he slipped deeper and deeper into his dreams.

He stood in the middle of a dark, cold cell. His sleeping body shivered in spite of the wool blanket and warm fire. Across from him was a younger boy sitting against the wall. His head was lowered, so Kage couldn't tell if he was alive or dead. All he knew was that the boy's father knelt next to him, whispering over and over, "I'm so proud of you, Kouji."

"I'm proud of you too," informed a voice behind Kage. Recognizing it, he turned to see a dark-haired giant of a man favoring him with a kind smile.

"Dad," he realized, running up to his father and hugging him, crying in his arms. It didn't matter that this was a dream. It was real enough for him.

In the night, two different men held two different boys and whispered, "I'm so proud of you, son…"

I have to admit that when I was writing this, a little voice in my head kept reminding me that Kage's insanity sounded a lot like Hige's from Wolf's Rain. I guess there's no denying that show's influence on me, though Kage's supposed to be based more off of Kiba than anyone. In addition to that, there are influences of Serial Experiments Lain and Taoist principles in the philosophy. The part about the Chosen's devotion to Kage actually was inspired by tales of Chinese soldiers and commanders that I've been hearing in geography. And, yes, I did mean for his final moment of insanity to mirror Kouichi's. I have a bad habit of having people "becoming the monster," so to speak. We have the return of the hair-cutting ritual of severing ties from "With Broken Wings," along with a couple of "hidden Mickeys" as it were. Kamui Shibayama is named for Kamui of .hack/Legend of the Twilight Bracelet, and according to the manga, her last name was apparently Shibayama. I've been waiting sometime to use that one. Also, the pork sausage is a Diaries in-joke, regarding Misc666, fears of being sodomized, and the food in prison. Also, Niabi Utagawa is an important character in the "Broken Wings" sequel "Cruel Angel's Thesis."

And now the $64 million question: Can Kage really see dead people? That's more or less up to you to decide. Remember, he's completely lost his sanity. When you're crazy enough, you'll start seeing anything. Like The Sh33p in "Tides of Darkness," I'm leaving it up to you. But don't worry; there will be plenty of chances to question everybody's sanity—and not just my own. And a big thank you to my 12th grade English teacher for assigning The Scarlet Letter, which allowed me to find the word "disreputable."

Well, you know what to do by now. You want to leave a comment, just look halfway intelligent when you do. Till the next.

Arc 2:
Chapter Six: "Even Heroes Have the Right to Bleed"
The world is changing. Nothing good can ever last forever. But that doesn't mean everything's falling apart. Change isn't necessarily bad. It is an eternal part of our lives. One word for goodbye can be the same as hello.