LAST CHAPTER

"You know that talk we didn't feel ready to have?"

"Uh huh"

"It's time to now"

What went wrong?

"Okay" said Lily sitting down.

James sat down on the sofa next to her.

Lily leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips, "I love you" she said

"What was that for?" he asked

"I just wanted to kiss you, just in case it was the last time I got to" said Lily

"I seriously doubt it will be love" said James then he leaned in and kissed Lily, "I love you" he said echoing her words

"You might not, when I tell you..." said Lily her eyes filling with tears.

"No, I will always love you, nothing you could ever say will ever change that" he said firmly

"You don't know that"

"I do. I've loved you since I was 14 years old and I'm not giving up on us. I was stupid enough to lose you and I'm not going to let that happen ever again"

"I hope so, I really do" said Lily the she wiped her tears, "Okay I'm ready."

"Okay" said James then he took a deep breath, "What happened? When did you become unhappy? When did you and Mario... Why did you..."

"Wow that is a lot of questions" said Lily interupting him,

"I know, I'm sorry, I just need to..."

"Shhh I know. I wasn't unhappy, I was scared terrified in fact"

"Because of the scare"

"Uh yeah, there's something I didn't mention in there, in fact only Mari knows. The..uh test...it...it came back p-positive" said Lily who was trying to stop herself from falling apart.

"You were pregnant"

Lily nodded her head.

"What happened, you're not pregnant now, did you have an abor... termination" said James hoping with all his heart that she hadn't.

"No, it's much worse" said Lily as tears started to fall down her face.

"Lily tell me, what happened? Please tell me"

"It was all my fault, I was so scared, it was karma for the times I was relieved that I wasn't. I should have known better... I should have told you... I wasn't looking, I fell, it..." said Lily who had now completely broken down.

James took her into his arms until she started to calm down.

"I'm so sorry, I couldn't...it was all my fault" sobbed Lily

"No, no it wasn't you did nothing wrong" (A/N -For all you stupid people out there, Lily had a miscarriage)

"I couldn't even carry our baby... I'm sorry, you don't deserve this"

"Don't you dare talk like that nobody could have prevented it. I should have known, I should have protected you. And what did I do, sleep with..." now it was James that had dissolved into tears.

Lily put her arms around James' neck hugging him. They just sat sobbing and clinging on to each other.

"James, please you're the strongest person I know, please" pleaded Lily

James pulled away and looked at Lily, but couldn't quite look her in the eye.

"I'm sorry... you were going through... and I-I was... oh god" said James burying his head in his hands

"Hey, don't you didn't know, how could you have known?" she said lifting his head.

"How can you even bear to look at me?" he asked

"Because I've had time and I know that you didn't know, as far as you knew I was just having an affair"

"But you're my wife, I should have known that something was wrong otherwise you wouldn't have... I shouldn't have..."

"No you shouldn't have, but neither should I" said Lily sitting back from James, "I'm sorry I did sleep with Mario"

James hung his head and Lily could tell how hurt he was.

"You were the one who asked. Do you want me to tell you?"

"No I don't want to hear ir, but I have and I'd rather get it over and done with" said James

"Okay" said Lily taking a deep breath before continuing, "it was a week after I lost... anyway I was weak, vulnerable, ashamed and every other emotion imaginable and.. it was awful, I remember lying there part of me wishing you would come home just so that he would stop, and the other part of me wishing you wouldn't because I had destroyed everything we had ever had"

"Shhhh, no no you didn't. That was me, you should never have had to go through any of that alone" said James

"It was my own fault I should have told you, I was going to but it was too late..." said Lily then she pulled herself together again, "right it's your turn now"

"I-I don't know what to say, I was a selfish bastard, I have no defence. I-I don't deserve you, you'll be better off without m-me. I-I'll sign the p-papers and leave I'll go to my parents'...I'm sorry" said James

"No don't you dare, you selfish asshole" said Lily angrily, "Would that make you feel better?"

"N-no of course not"

"Make you feel less guilty, being noble. Leaving me... all alone to cope... without you"

"L-Lily I don't want to hurt you anymore"

"Then don't leave me" she said going over to him and wrapping her arms around his chest and hugging him, "you said you loved me"

"I do love you"

"Then why do you want to leave me then?"

"I don't but... I...I've treated you so badly, I don't want to hurt you, it kills me that I've caused you so much unnecessary pain. I wasn't there when you needed me. I let you down"

"No you didn't, and you were there"

"No I wasn't, not when it mattered"

"Yes you were. Do you remember the night you came home late?"

"Which night?"

"Wednesday August 13th, I was already asleep and you wanted to..."

"Yeah, you said you had a headache"

"Uh huh, you held me, kissed me and said you loved me and I cried in your arms all night"

"And I didn't even wake up"

"But it comforted me so much just having you there"

"But not enough..."

"James we're going round in circles" said Lily, "now I love you, I love you more than anything and I want" Lily put her hand in James' pocket and pulled out her rings, "nothing more that to put these back on. But only if you want me to, not because you feel guilty"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive, but what about you?"

James didn't answer, instead he pulled Lily into a kiss, filled with all the love, tenderness and passion he felt.

"Does that answer your question?"

"Uh yeah, it does" said Lily who could feel herself getting weak at the knees, "but I think I'm going to need another kiss, just to be sure"

James pulled her in to him and kissed her again. When they pulled away, James took Lily's rings and held her left hand.

"I've been waiting so long to do this" he said as he slipped her engagement ring on, "I meant every word of my wedding vows, I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you, if you'll let me"

"Of course and I swear I'll make it up to you too, cause I love you so much" said Lily then she added impaitently, "Come on hurry up"

James laughed and slid her wedding ring on.

"Okay, your turn now" said Lily

"Oh, we shouldn't disturb Mari and Siri"

"I've got it here silly" said Lily reaching for the chain round her neck, she pulled it out from under her top. James saw his wedding ring on it. Lily took it off the chain and put in on his finger.

"There it's official, again, you're mine forever"

"Yeah and you better be mine, to love, to hold and to cherish forever, Lily Potter, because I don't think I can go through any of this again"

"That makes two of us. I need you James Potter, like I've never needed anyone and I've felt so empty these past few months without you, like a part of me was missing"