Title: Don't Ever Leave Me
Author: Window's Light
Story Type: Fanfiction – Angelic Layer
Genre: Romance, Tragedy
Rating: PG-13 ('cuz it's shoujo ai)
Chapters: I have no clue…
Disclaimer: I do not own Angelic Layer. A talented all-girl manga team called CLAMP does.
Summary: Sai had Kaede. And she was her everything… But nobody can have everything. Shoujo ai. SaiKaede
Author's Notes:
1. I give to you the second chapter!
2. Hope you liked the first chappie. I know it's too short. And I think this chapter is too. Sorry, school's been hell and I'm really slow on coming up with ideas to write about.
3. There were errors on the 1st chapter… like the title -.- … It was the original title but I decided to change it. Unfortunately, I forgot to change the title in the story text. Sorry. V ...I was also unable to put divisions there. Sorry again.
4. Reviews would be greatly appreciated!
Special thanks to my two classmates and long-time friends Marie-chelle and Ara for editing! Luv ya!
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CHAPTER 2: "Self-Confession: I Don't Deserve You"
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Sai had woken up earlier than Kaede. She fixed herself some breakfast and sat down to eat. It took her about five minutes to stop staring at the food and start eating.
She didn't like what happened last night. She wasn't thinking straight then. The Ice Machine had admitted that she, like all others, needs someone. The Ice Machine had showed emotion. One she hated the most. Fear. Fear of being alone.
Ever since she was a child, she never really liked showing emotions.
Only to Rin. And now, to Kaede.
She remembered when she was at kindergarten. How she always sat on top of a wall near the school playground watching how children her age ran around and laughed, and how this brave little boy had asked her to play with him and his friends.
"I don't play."
"It's ok if you don't know how. We can teach you!"
"I mean, I don't play."
Sai didn't mean that she didn't know how to play, that she didn't want to play, or that she was not allowed to play. She had simply meant that she doesn't play. Like how cats and dogs don't fly, or like how trees don't walk. She simply doesn't play.
"Sai-san?" Kaede called while she was stepping gently down the stairs. She was wearing glasses now and her hair was braided again. "Gomen-ne."
"For what?" Sai replied, not turning her head around to see the girl, and taking a bite from the toasted bread in her hand.
"I was not able to wake up earlier to make breakfast."
"It's ok. It's not really something you should be sorry for."
"Hai…" Kaede continued walking past Sai to the kitchen area. "What would you like to eat?"
"It's fine. I'm good."
"Sai-san should eat plenty of food especially at breakfast."
Sai was not able to make the words clear in her mind. She was too busy staring at Kaede's back.
"Sai-san?" Kaede turned her head around and just before she could notice the other girl staring at her, Sai averted her eyes elsewhere.
"Uh, anything, would be fine… with me…" She fumbled at the words, blushing a little while saying them.
"Sai-san is not acting normal today. Even last night. Is there anything wrong?"
"No, nothing's wrong… I'm fine."
"Sai-san…"
Hearing her very concerned voice, Sai fixed her eyes upon Kaede's face whose features were somewhat a little uneasy.
"I'm just thinking a lot lately. Nothing serious."
Kaede walked towards Sai and leaned on the table while putting a hand on Sai's forehead. Kaede was that kind of person. She never stops worrying and caring for everybody. She was a mother to everyone.
"You're not sick or anything."
"I told you Kaede-san. I'm fine." Sai said, blushing at the very small gap between her face and Kaede's.
"Sai-san… Please don't hesitate to tell me if there's something wrong, ok?"
"Of course Kaede-san."
Tell her? It was not that easy as she thinks. Sai could never tell Kaede what she was feeling. No. She couldn't risk loosing the closest and only friend she had for something that stupid and selfish.
She had felt that feeling for some time now. She didn't how, why, or when it started eating her, she just knew that it was.
I love you Kaede, Sai had repeated those words for more than a million times in her head. But they never really got anywhere outside her own dream world.
Yes, Sai loved Kaede. But not just some friendly or sisterly love, it was something that –only- a man should feel towards a girl.
But Sai was not a man.
And Kaede deserved to have a man in her life. She deserved to marry him, have children with him, and become the mother she always longed to be.
On the other hand, even if Kaede did love Sai back, Sai would just press on that she was no one who could make her happy. Kaede was kind, beautiful and smart, she didn't deserve to be talked about or hated by shallow homophobic people.
Sai just kept every bit of feeling she had for Kaede inside that cold barrier she had built around her self.
I love you Kaede.
But I don't deserve you.
And I never will.