XXXXXXX

"Love is everything it's cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for." Erica Jong

XXXXXXX

Chapter 16

XXXXXXX

"Ugh, I am so full." Sam proclaimed as she leaned back in her seat and rubbed her belly. She watched as Martin skewered another piece of cinnamon roll on his fork before popping it in his mouth. "Do you always eat this much?"

He grinned as he swallowed. "I like food."

"I can see that." She replied as he finished the last of the roll. "So tell me, how can you eat so much and still stay so fit?"

He shrugged his shoulders and said, "I don't know, so far it hasn't caught up with me. I think running helps."

"Gotta love that cardio." Sam replied as she took a drink of ice water in the hopes of diminishing the sugary taste of the cinnamon roll from her mouth. "My problem is just getting motivated to get up and do it."

He took a drink of his own water before saying, "Get a dog. It's a constant daily reminder to get off your ass and do something."

"You have a dog?" She asked. Martin nodded his head . "What breed?"

"Brown Labrador. His name is Milo." Martin replied with the cheery face of a proud father.

Sam fiddled with the spoon on her coffee mug and asked, "How do you find the time to have a dog? Aren't they a lot of work?"

"It can be hard. I am generally home in the morning so I can run with him and I have a dog walker who takes him out in the evenings." Martin explained. He leaned forward and added, "I actually hadn't even planned on getting a dog. I took my niece to get a kitten for her birthday when I saw Milo. One look at those big brown eyes and I just had to take him home. How about you? Do you have any pets? Parrot, gerbil, pot bellied pig?"

She gave a light laugh and answered, "No, not for me; too big a commitment."

Martin nodded his head knowingly. "They do require a lot of your time and energy."

"You would know." Sam acknowledged.

"Yeah, well I'm not afraid of a commitment." He replied with his eyes meeting hers.

Sam's mouth went dry at his gaze. It felt like he was looking in her heart and soul and she felt incredibly vulnerable and exposed. They studied each other for a few beats before a shadow crossed over the table and the waitress reappeared.

"Will there be anything else?"

Martin shook his head. "No, just the check thanks."

After the bill was paid they made their way out onto the sidewalk. There was a slight breeze but the air felt like it had grown slightly warmer. As they walked to her car Sam looked up at the night sky. It was dark with a few scattered clouds but she could see the moon over head. It was big, round and yellow and Sam remembered that her mom used to call it a harvest moon.

Her mom would put on the Neil Young album and dance with her and her sister in their trail. It was one of her favorite things to do with her mom. She and Brigid would spin around their mom as she swayed in the middle of the living room and sang along with the song. She could still hear Neil swooning, "When we were strangers I watched you from afar. When we were lovers I loved you with all my heart. But now it's gettin' late and the moon is climbin' high. I want to celebrate, see it shinin' in your eye."

Martin leaned towards her as they walked and murmured, "Nice night, huh?"

"Yeah." She agreed suddenly feeling very self conscious in her realization that if this were a date this is where the end of the night kiss would come up. So she quickly switched gears and commented evenly, "Of course, coming from Wisconsin I know that this little warm spell is just the calm before the storm. A sure indicator that the big snowstorm they predicted is on its way. I wouldn't be surprised if it started snowing early tomorrow morning."

Martin smiled at her meteorological report and the butterflies returned. She knew that she couldn't avoid the topic any further and had to tell him once and for all that she had no intention of getting involved with him. When they reached her car she pulled out her keys before turning to look at Martin. She couldn't help but notice or ignore the soft expectant look in his eyes. She could feel her resolve begin to crumble when she abruptly blurted out, "You have to stop that."

Martin raised his head questioningly and asked, "What?"

"You have to stop. Stop looking at me with those big sweet blue eyes full of expectation and hope. You have to stop looking at me like you know who I am." The once hopeful look in his eyes morphed into hurt and confusion so mustering all her courage she began to explain herself, "I just wanted to tell you so there wasn't any misunderstanding…."

She could see him take a deep breath before he dejectedly replied, "Okay."

"I know that there is something going on here between us…" Sam paused; this was a lot harder than she thought it would be when she rehearsed it in her head. "You're a great guy and any woman would be very lucky to have you in her life but it can't happen. I won't let it. It is impossible for me to get involved with another agent so you have to stop." She watched as Martin's expression fell. His eyes were downcast before he turned his head and looked away. "I'm sorry, I know this morning I….gave you the wrong impression. I'm really sorry about that but I thought I should tell you where I stand before this goes any further."

She could see him work his jaw before he brusquely replied, "No."

She couldn't believe her ears and in an incredulous tone asked, "What do you mean 'no'?"

Martin turned back to face her. With fire in his eyes he stepped closer to her, invading her personal space. She could smell the coffee and cinnamon roll on his breath as he looked hard into her eyes and replied, "Just like I said: no. You can avoid me, pull away from me and tell yourself that you're not attracted to me but you can't control how I feel or what I think. If I want to look at you like you are the most beautiful, interesting, funny, intelligent and sexy woman I've ever met than I'm going to keep on doing just that. This is how I feel and I'm not going to apologize for it because I'm not like the guys you've dated before. I'm not like the men who made you so afraid of taking a chance on something new because you've been hurt in the past. I know the risks: we don't live in the same city, we're both agents, and you clearly don't want to get involved with me but I don't care. So I am going to keeping looking at you and thinking about you and wondering what it would be like to kiss you. In fact……"

Sam froze where she stood, her mind trying to process what he was telling her when he suddenly held her face in his hands and pulled her towards him putting his mouth firmly on hers. At first she stiffened at his sudden aggressiveness but at feeling the intensity and passion of the kiss her knees went weak, allowing her to relax into the overwhelming sensation of his mouth moving on hers. His lips were hard and demanding at first before he responded to her softening and soon the kiss deepened. His tongue probed seeking access and she willfully parted her lips to get the full taste and effect of kissing Martin. She slowly raised her arms and moved them around his neck to run her fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. His warm strong hands began to caress her cheeks and jaw line sending a tantalizing sensation throughout her body.

And as abruptly as the kiss occurred it was over. Martin dropped his hands from her face and stepped back. She immediately missed the warmth of his body and mouth. She looked at him panting softly to see him breathing heavily as well.

He looked at her, his eyes filled with desire and whispered, "I like you Sam Spade and you are just going to have to deal with that."

Martin studied her for a moment before he turned and headed towards his car. Sam just stood there gaping in disbelief at his retreating form, his trench coat billowing in the wind. She couldn't believe he would kiss her like that and then just walk away. How rude. She reminded herself that a few moments before she basically had told him to hit the road, she wasn't interested. Of course, that was before he kissed her and now she wasn't so sure what she was going to do.

She ran her fingertips over her swollen lips and thought that whatever was going on with Martin wasn't in her control after all. She started to think that as much as she tried to resist him the truth of the matter was that she and Martin were inevitable.