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"A mother who is really a mother is never free." Honore De Balzac

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Chapter 20

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As soon as Martin had escorted Carl out of the room Sam ran her hand over her forearm. It was throbbing from the force of Carl's grip and she wished she had done a lot more than kick him in the groin. But she was also grateful that Martin responded so quickly to subdue Carl before things had escalated. She was really touched by Martin's concern but right now but it was not the time to think about that. She turned to find Erica trembling against the wall.

She softened her expression and gently said, "Why don't we sit down?"

Erica eyed Sam warily but made her way slowly to the futon and sat down.

Sam knew that she had to tread softly because Erica was incredibly intimidated by Carl and as is often the case, most victims are the first to defend their attackers. Sam sat next to Erica and said, "Dominic has been really worried about you."

Erica nodded her head almost imperceptibly and spoke softly, "How is Dominic?"

"He's not doing too well. He's really confused about why you left." Sam licked her lips as she considered her words, "Why are you here Erica?"

She could see tears well up in Erica's eyes as she shook her head. With her eyes on her hands in her lap she said, "I don't want to be married to Dominic anymore. I want to be with Carl."

"Okay, let's say for one minute I actually believed you," Sam commented with a hint of sarcasm. "What about your sons, Jeremy and Nathan? Why did you leave them behind?"

This time the tears did fall. Erica began sobbing, her shoulders shaking violently as she took jagged breaths. Sam kept her hands on her lap and let Erica cry it out. Eventually Erica's sobbing subsided into slow whimpers and she wiped the tears away from her face and said, "I'm sorry. I can't…..I need to be here."

Sam leaned forward and put her elbows on her knees and said, "How about this? I'm going to tell you what I think is going on. You were a dancer in New York, you hook up with Carl and things are great until he starts getting abusive. He hits, then apologizes, tells you it will never happen again but then he hits you again. You don't know how to get out so you find a way to deal with it and hide it all from your friends. Then you find out you're pregnant with Jeremy and you don't want to bring a child into those circumstances. Your good neighbor sympathizes with your plight and gives you three thousand to disappear."

Erica lifted her head and met Sam's eyes telling her she was on the right track so far.

"So you get to Chicago where you meet Dominic who is nothing like Carl. You make up a story about the identity of Jeremy's dad and get married. Things are looking up and you have another baby boy when Carl wanders back into your life. And Carl is the kind of guy who is not happy to have been played a fool. Am I getting warm?"

Erica took a deep breath and said, "I was on my way to have dinner with Christine when an SUV pulled up next to me and honked."

Erica is sitting in her car strumming her fingers on the steering wheel as she sings along with the radio, "It seems to me that maybe, it pretty much always means no. So don't tell me you might just let it go. And often times we're lazy, it seems to stand in my way
'Cause no one, no not no one likes to be let down…"

A blue Explorer pulls up alongside and a honk is heard. Erica turns her head to find Carl smiling at her evilly. He lifts his hand, points it at her like a gun and fires before he starts laughing. A visible look of absolute fear is on Erica's face as Carl mouths, "Pull over" and points to a parking lot down the street.

Erica nods her head and pulls into the lot just ahead of Carl. She takes a deep breath and steps out of her car, hovering against the open door as Carl exits his as well.

"Hi Carmela." Carl greets with a forced cheer. Erica remains quiet and just nods her head in greeting. "What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"

"Hello Carl." Erica replies coolly. "How did you find me?"

"That's my greeting after all this time? No hug or kiss?" Carl asks as Erica stiffens and folds her arm across her chest. He nears her and brushes her hair out of her face. "I'm living in Milwaukee now and I work for Pross Inc. We just signed a big contract with LaSalle Bank to revamp all the cards for their customers. I was working with some of the techs, pulling up random customers when whose picture do I see? My Carmela but only now she was going by the name of Erica Mosconi."

Erica begins rubbing her arms and said, "I'm sorry I hurt you Carl."

"You're sorry? Is that all you have to say?" Carl asked as he moved closer to her. "I went crazy when you left. I couldn't work and I lost my job. I used up my entire savings trying to find you. And just when I gave up and moved to Wisconsin, I find out you are living the high life in Chicago. Married to some deaf guy with one little baby boy." Erica's eyes went wide and he added, "Yeah, I know all about your little family. I've even been by your house. You really should keep those blinds closed at night."

Erica's expression hardened and she said, "Yeah, I'm married now Carl. So why don't we just put it all behind us and move on."

Carl's face grew hard and in an angry tone growled, "You can't just leave me Carmela! You think you can just run off and marry someone else and that's it! You're mine."

"Why would you even want me after all this time?" Erica asks inching away from him.

Carl's face softens and in a sugary sweet voice says, "Because I love you. I miss you. I've changed baby and I know I can make you happy now."

"I'm sorry Carl but I've heard you say that before. We're done. I'm married now." She turns to get back in her car when Carl's fist hits her in the face. She retracts and puts her hand to her nose to try and stop the bleeding. "Oh yeah, you've changed, you used to go for the gut first. We're done Carl!"

Erica turned and sat back down in her car. She is about to close the door when Carl grabs it and says, "We're not done until I say we're done! You are going to get in my car and leave with me right now or else I am going to go pay a visit to your hubby and I'll show him what happens when he steals my woman. And you know I'll do it Carmela, you know what I'm capable of."

Erica studies Carl's face carefully and she knows he is serious. She thinks for a moment, blood dripping from her nose before nodding her head and walking to Carl's Explorer.

"I knew that if I wanted to keep my family safe I had to go with him." Erica finished.

"And what about Jeremy?" Sam asked without trying to sound accusatory. "If he was so desperate for you to come back why didn't he want his son as well?"

Erica swallowed and said, "He doesn't know that Jeremy exists. I never told him I was pregnant and thanks to fate, the day he was watching the house Jeremy was staying at my in-laws so he never even saw him." More tears streamed down Erica's cheeks. "I knew that I had to protect my family. Carl is the reason Jeremy is deaf. It was his abuse before I knew I was pregnant that caused him to lose his hearing. I thought that if I left with him then he would never have any reason to go back to the house and he would never find out about Jeremy. I knew Dominic would take care of Jeremy and be a great father to him."

"Erica, you don't have to do this…"

"Please, I worked at the shelter." Erica said firmly. "I know how the law works when it comes to kids. There would be no way to keep Carl out of Jeremy's life once he knew he was a father."

"You could get a restraining order. Prove that he is responsible for Jeremy's deafness…." Sam argued.

"I've played all the scenarios in my head. The best way to protect my son is to keep his father as far away as possible."

"Even if that means you have to keep away, too?" Sam asked, knowing that it would strike a nerve. "Jeremy and Nathan need their mom in their lives. Dominic needs you too."

Erica began crying again and Sam rubbed her shoulder. "Look Erica, Carl is going to be in jail for awhile because I promise you that I will be pressing charges. You could use that time for you and Dominic to build a case against Carl, show that he is an unfit father."

Erica looked up at Sam with red rimmed eyes and said, "How long of a sentence would he have to serve?"

"The maximum is 20 years and while I know it won't be that long I will make sure he will serve time."

Erica considered what Sam said and replied, "I'd like to go home now."

Sam smiled, stood up and led Erica out of the apartment. By the time they exited the building she saw that there were two police cars and ambulance outside. Carl was in the back seat of a black and white looking furious while Martin was talking to a uniformed police officer. She directed Erica to the ambulance to have her elbow checked out. The EMT began examining her when she felt someone touch her shoulder and she turned around to find Martin standing behind her.

"Hey, how did it go?" He asked.

Sam began to tell him everything that they discussed and Martin must have noticed her rubbing her arm because as she talked he gently took her forearm in his hands and slowly pulled her sleeve up so he could look at her arm. His hands were gentle and careful as he conducted his own impromptu exam. She glanced down to see her arm an angry shade of red.

"so Erica is going to go home and build her case." She finished. It was hard to talk with Martin's hands gently caressing her arm.

"Excuse me," The EMT interrupted and they both turned their heads to look at him. "She has a dislocated elbow so we are going to head over to Mercy General."

"Good." Martin said as he stopped what he was doing and looked at her. "I think you should go with her and have your arm checked out. If we are booking Carl for assault we are going to need documentation."

Sam nodded her head realizing that she forgot about the soreness of her arm. "You're right."

"We're leaving in a couple of minutes." The EMT announced before turning to head back to the bus.

"While you do that I'll go down to the station to make sure that they process Carl by the book. We don't want any mistakes." Martin commented as he released her arm and added, "I'll meet up with you later."

"Okay, good idea." Sam replied suddenly missing the feel of Martin's touch. She started to turn towards the ambulance when Martin said her name. She turned back to face him and said, "Yeah?"

He gave her a shy smile and said, "Just so you know, I so wanted to kiss you earlier."

"I know." She replied with a grin before stepping away and heading for the ambulance. Over her shoulder she said, "You can make it up to me later."