Rating – PG-13/T (suicide mentions, swearing)
Spoilers – Heat
Summary – Walls are beginning to crumble. So long had it been since she'd really taken the time to look in the mirror, that the change was shocking.
Disclaimer – I don't own Dark Angel. I'm merely borrowing it for a while; I'll return it fairly intact soon enough.

Other than that: Please read and review.

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Shauna winced as she rolled out of bed. It was early, but her body clock, so used to early mornings, had woken her and she wasn't going to go back to sleep now. Damn, there wasn't a part of her that didn't ache. She stretched her arms, and then stopped. Wow, that was painful. They had pushed themselves last night. Were those bruises? Yes. On both arms there were several finger shaped bruises that Chris had given her at the height of passion. She remembered now. Remembering something else, her fingers went to her neck and she hurried to the bathroom, to the mirror.

There it was. Shauna swore. The bastard! She was going to have to wear a high collar whenever she went out in public for the next few days. They'd never been as rough on each other before, not in bed. At the same time, it had been…amazing. She felt delicious heat swirl through her. A rising blush followed, she'd never done anything like that before.

As she slipped her robe off, she noticed her nipples had hardened with desire. Then she noticed the rest of her. Any of the heat she felt died out of her. She could see what Chris had been talking about, now. Bones stood out clearly, all over. Her body had never looked so wasted. Her hair hung limply, slack and damaged. There were dark shadows under her eyes.

So long had it been since she'd really taken the time to look in the mirror, that the change was shocking. Most mornings she didn't even bother, what she saw only made her sick. Now she took a good look, fighting past the horror and the guilt. With a certain amount of worry, she noticed the muscle she had lost. It would take time and effort to build up her body to the one she had had. Sleep would fix some, and food would be – she winced – invaluable. She'd been trained to go long periods of time without food or sleep, but at the same time she knew that to perform at her best she needed both on a regular basis.

Last night she had slept better than she had in weeks. Whatever else had happened between her and Chris, something had given her enough peace of mind to get some rest. The young woman still felt drained and out of sorts, but somehow last night had been a turning point for her.

Carefully, she ran her eyes over herself, noting where she needed the most work – pretty much everywhere – her eyes stopped on a piece of her anatomy that was particularly achy this morning – he'd worked it over good last night. Something flickered through her mind and it took a second to grasp what it was telling her. When she finally figured it out, she began frantically calculating. When was the last time…?

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When Christopher woke to his alarms, Shauna was not in the bed beside him, so he supposed she was up and about. For a few moments, after slapping the piercing noise off, he lay on his back and enjoyed the not-quite-awake feeling, ignoring the pain from the night before. The emotional pain, anyway.

He could feel the faint line of scratches down his back and, as more of his memory surfaced, knew Shauna probably had something similar. Last night had been about fighting demons and, verbally and physically, they had done that in more ways than one. As he sat up, the muscles in his back and neck protested. Last night certainly had been a night to remember.

A part of him wished it hadn't happened like that. His confessions to Shauna. Part of him was hurt that she didn't respond favourably to his declaration of love, or returned it. But at least she hasn't run away.

Chris didn't know if Shauna loved him, but she was sticking around. At least he hoped she was. A small lick of apprehension settled inside him – he couldn't hear her moving about. That wasn't unusual in itself; she didn't often make much noise on her own. Still he had to check. She couldn't go far, as breaking a contract at Manticore wasn't in her best interests, but she could refuse to have anything to do with him…

Shauna wasn't in the main room or the kitchen. He checked the bathroom, and found her sitting, stark naked, on the toilet seat. He had to admit to being aroused at the sight of her just sitting there. Even with all the weight she'd lost, and how sick she looked, he wanted her. I love her. Love and sex did not necessarily go together, but when they did, they made for an intoxicating experience.

Unfortunately, there was something in the way she looked at him – pale and blank – that alerted him something was wrong. Her cheeks held a faintly greenish tinge, while her dark eyes were glazed and unfocused. She reminded him of someone in shock. He approached her carefully. "Shauna, honey, are you alright?"

Blinking she focused on his face, but she still looked dazed. "I'm late," she said softly.

Huh? "Late for what? Not work, you don't have to go in, remember?"

"No." Despite the vacant expression on her face, she shook her head violently. "Not that. I know that. My p…my…my period. Very late."

He felt his brow crease while what she said sunk in. When it did, it felt like he'd been doused in icy water then had an electric current run through him. That meant she could be preg— no, no wait it was actually unlikely. He remembered, painfully, when Lucy had first gotten sick, he'd done some research. One of the side-effects…

Kneeling in front of Shauna he took her hands – they were so small and gaunt – in his own. She watched him. He was about to tell her when she spoke, in a vague tone of voice, "I might be having a baby."

"No, I don't think so. Shh, listen, don't say anything just yet. When I first found out about Lucy, I did some research just to see what was going on with her to see…to see if I could help her. One thing I remember is that women, if they're not…not eating enough, they, they, well, sometimes they stop getting their…their…er…monthly thing." Despite his pain for his sister and his worry for Shauna he felt a twinge of embarrassment at mentioning something so private, so female.

Her face cleared slightly, and then turned distrustful. "Truth?" she asked.

"Truth," he answered. "But if you want, we can get one of those tests things, if you like?"

She nodded. "I think that would be best." Relief doused her features, and he felt a brief twang; she hadn't wanted the baby at all.

As impractical as a child would be, right now, he'd always thought he'd be a father some day. It hurt to think that Shauna might not feel the same, even if he should have realised that the chances of her wanting a child would be slim. Her life-style simply didn't allow for it. But a baby? Oh, give it a rest, one, you're not married to the girl, two, this is hardly a time for either of you to be saddled with a child. However, the thoughts refused to leave him all through the day.

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A/N: Sorry, it's so short, but I promise the next one is very long. Please review.