Luke POV

Something was wrong.

Lorelai had lied to me about Rory at the carnival, but I couldn't put my finger on what it was. Lorelai put the tears down to embarrassment, but when we got in, her cheeks were still tearstained and she had just woken up. That was more than embarrassment.

However, I waited until everyone had left to bring it up with Lorelai, unsure how it was going to go.

"It's nothing," She told me, and I glared at her.

"It's not nothing. Now tell me the truth," I felt like I was begging, but I knew that I needed to know. I couldn't help if I didn't know what was going on.

"I can't," She admitted, looking down at the floor, "I can't tell you."

"We don't keep secrets from each other," I reminded her and she sighed.

"If Rory wants you to know, she'll tell you," Lorelai said sternly, "I can barely get her to talk to me, even with the promise that I won't tell you, and if I tell you, I won't get a word out of her and she needs to talk to one of us, at least."

"You'll tell me if it's really bad, won't you?" I asked, hating this whole thing, and she nodded.

"I will," She said, "Could you maybe spend the day with her tomorrow, just the two of you? It's been a while, and it could probably do her some good."

There was definitely a hint in there, but I had no idea of what she was hinting at.

When I woke up at 3 am the next morning, I was confused. I had a really bad feeling about something and I knew that I needed to get up.

I carefully got out of bed, making sure not to disturb Lorelai, and checked in on Jess first, who was asleep on the floor with his headphones on, a compromise we made early on. But he was okay. So, I carefully walked down the stairs, half expecting to find Rory on the couch.

I walked through to the kitchen, and found her at the kitchen table, her back to me. She had my blue flannel draped over her shoulders like a blanket, and she was flicking through a journal, an empty mug in her free hand.

"Rory?" I said softly and she hurriedly shut the journal and wiped her cheeks before looking at me.

"Why are you up?" She asked, and I chuckled.

"I could ask you the same thing. Bad dream?" She nodded, almost shrinking in her seat, so I asked, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She shook her head, her cheeks turning a slight shade of pink. The nightmares that didn't lead to screaming were often just as bad, but in a different way. She had admitted, with the help of her shrink, that they weren't about Christopher himself, but about us treating her like he did, whether it was abandoning her, hurting her or just being assholes.

And me having a biological daughter now... it has to have intensified that fear of being abandoned by me, not just because I had a 'real' daughter now, as a lot of people seemed to see it, but because they were so similar that it could almost be seen as a second chance; it was how Lorelai's parents treated Rory at times, and she would have gotten that idea from them, but I could see where she was coming from if that was the case.

"Do you want a hug?" I offered, and she didn't verbally respond, choosing to throw herself at me instead. It was then that she started to sob, her fists holding onto my top tightly. I wrapped my arms around her, cradling her head with one hand. I let her cry for about 5 minutes, murmuring comforting words, and as she started to calm down, I said, "Come on, let's sit on the couch and talk. It's been a while and I know something is going on with you."

She nodded and let go of me. The flannel had slipped off her shoulders so she rewrapped herself before heading to the living room. We sat down together, but she curled up next to me, her head on my shoulders, "I'm scared."

The words were so quiet that I had to strain to hear them, "Of what?"

"It's ridiculous, you know, I know that I'm being stupid, but I'm so scared," She explained without telling me what was going on. I stayed quiet, knowing that she was building herself up to it, "I'm scared that you like April more, and before you say anything, hear me out. She's smart, and funny, and curious, and she's almost the same way I was when I was her age..."

She trailed off, and I looked down at her, "If she's the same, how would I like her better?"

"Because she's not damaged or broken. I mean, at that age, I was recovering from brain surgery and I screamed at night and I was a burden," I cut her off.

"You are not a burden, and you never were... You know, I loved that time with you. I loved being able to watch you all day, to be with you all of the time. No matter how it came about, I see that time as a gift because otherwise, I would never have gotten that time with you," I told her sternly, and then I admitted something, "I was always jealous of Christopher. Not because of his life or him as a person, but because he had the opportunity to spend those baby years with you, to see you take your first steps and first words, and even though he threw it away, I was always jealous that he could have had that and I couldn't have."

She looked up at me with wide eyes, tears still streaming down her face, "But you have April now, and even though you missed out on those first 10 years, she's your DNA and I'm not. And I'm damaged in a such a way that we have to keep it from her. Any sane person would be able to see that I'm not worth the hassle."

"You are worth it, in every way imaginable," I promised, "And if that means I'm insane, then so be it."

She laughed, a small smile on her lips, but I could tell she wasn't convinced. While I knew this was going to be an on-going issue for the next few months, at least, I needed her to believe me, at least for a while. I couldn't have her believing that she wasn't worth it, because that couldn't be further from the truth.

"If I didn't think you were worth it, I wouldn't be here. I would have broken up with your mother when your father had put you in the hospital the first time. Whoever gave you the impression that you were worthless... they were wrong. I promise."

She snuggled in, getting as close as possible. I knew her fears had been soothed (for now) because of how she was acting, "Thanks, Daddy."

I kissed her head and held her tight, not wanting to let go yet.

AN: So, when I'm doing important scenes like this, I act them out in my head from different perspectives, trying to make it work. And apparently, if I'm in a character's head that's crying, I'm crying right along with them, which is a little distracting. But, despite the tears, I think this turned out well. Let me know what you thought.