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Used to be that I believed in something
Used to be that I believed in love
It's been a long time since I've had that feeling
I could love someone
I could trust someone
I said I'd never let nobody near my heart again darlin'
I said I'd never let nobody in
But if you asked me to
I just might change my mind
- Celine Dion, 'If You Asked Me To'
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Chapter 34
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Somewhere in the distance Sam heard a hummingbird buzzing. Even in the hazy state of sleep she knew that had to be wrong so she opened her eyes and found herself on the sofa in Martin's living room. The room was dark; the only light in the room was the blue flicker of the television, the fire having long extinguished. Martin was asleep behind her, snoring softly with his hand hanging limply over her waist.
There was a buzzing noise again and Sam looked over on the coffee table to find her cell phone vibrating along the wood. She delicately moved out of Martin's embrace and picked up the phone. She cast her eyes at Milo who was snoring not-so-softly on the floor by the fireplace, flipped open her cell and softly whispered, "Spade."
"Hey, Sam," Danny's voice greeted her.
"Hey Danny," She replied with a glimpse at Martin. She smiled at seeing him slumbering, his mouth slightly parted. She stood up, trying not to disturb him but he must have felt the sofa's weight shift because he mumbled something incomprehensible, rolled over and hugged the pillow tightly to him. She silently stepped away and in a hushed tone said, "So I'm guessing you talked to Olyczk."
"Oh, yeah, that SOB kept me on the phone for almost two hours." Danny griped and in the background Sam heard a door shut. "Do you think Kyle's telling the truth, that Jack actually answered his cell phone and knew that Spaulding had requested a lawyer but interrogated him anyway?"
Sam crept quietly upstairs and replied, "I'd like to think not but you know Jack, he does whatever he needs to do to find someone."
It seemed like the Spaulding case was going to haunt them forever. Graham Spaulding was a pedophile who targeted young teen boys. He abducted Andy Deaver and held him captive in a cave where the frightened teen almost died from exposure. The case against Spaulding fell apart due to illegally obtaining evidence, claims that Spaulding's Miranda Rights were violated and a traumatized teen unable to testify.
"I'm just worried that this time it might come back to bite Jack in the ass." Danny said, his voice sounding like an echo. "Did Olyczk as you if you knew what Spaulding and Jack talked about in the car?"
"Yeah, I told him I only knew what little Jack and Kyle told me and it was the same thing in their report." Sam replied as she walked into Martin's office and sat down at his desk. He had a big leather chair that was worn from a lot of use and incredibly comfortable. "We've both seen Jack work a suspect. If he told Spaulding that he could have fifteen minutes with Andy then he did it because he knew that was the only way he could get Andy's whereabouts."
"Yeah but we both know that isn't necessarily how Olyczk or Van Doren might see it. And another OPR investigation is the last thing we need." Danny grumbled. "I know you always thought I was too hard on Kyle but right now he's damn lucky I'm stuck here in Chicago because if I saw him in person I just might get the team in more trouble."
"Yeah, well, if history is any indicator then I'm sure there are plenty of agents in New York who are giving him the cold shoulder right now." Sam commented knowing that when an agent stirs up trouble he ends up being just as big a target as the agent he accuses. Normally Sam didn't approve of that kind of behavior but in this case she was hoping that Kyle was quaking in his suit right now.
"I hope you're right." Danny replied before quickly changing tone and asking, "So….how's it going over at Fitzy's house?"
"Fine," Sam smiled at Danny's inquisitiveness but also felt very protective of what was going on with her and Martin; whatever it was. Anxious to not have to talk about Martin, in a sugary tone she asked, "How are things at Courtney's?"
Danny sighed heavily and in a whispered tone said, "They're alright I guess. I think we are starting to get a little stir crazy over here. She always wants to talk but she never has anything interesting to say."
Sam sighed and thought she was having the opposite problem; if anything they couldn't stop talking. She couldn't believe that she had told him about her being married. She blamed Martin; he just listened and made her feel so comfortable that before she knew it there she was spilling her guts.
"I don't know what I was thinking shacking up with a fling even if it was to get out of snowstorm." Danny sounded completely dumbfounded.
Sam leaned back in the chair and propped her feet up on the desk. "Yeah, well you made your bed and now you have to sleep in it."
Danny laughed devilishly and said, "Oh, believe me: there is no sleeping going on in that bed."
Sam rolled her eyes and said, "Too much information thank you very much."
Over the phone she could hear a knock and Danny muttered, "Hold on Sam." While she couldn't hear exactly what was being said it sounded like Courtney was very curious as to why Danny was talking to his partner on the cell phone while in the bathroom. "Hey Sam, I gotta go. Courtney made dinner.
She laughed and said, "Okay, have fun."
"Same goes for you." Danny retorted before he hung up.
She laughed and closed her phone, tossing it on the desk. She lounged in the seat and looked out the window. The sky was a dark and she could see the snow falling as it reflected off the light from street lamp on the corner. She spun the chair to face the bookcases when she noticed that on bottom shelf was a large bound book that looked like a photo album. Her eyes darted to the door and deciding that Martin was still asleep she reached down and pulled out the album.
The first page was a large family photo of the Fitzgerald family. She recognized Victor immediately, having seen his photo in various memos and newsletters from work. He sat in the center looking cool and distinguished. Behind him stood an equally distinguished older brunette woman with soft eyes; Martin's eyes. It must be his mom. Martin stood to the right of his mother wearing a smile that looked like he was restraining a laugh. On the other side was a beautiful younger brunette who had Victor's eyes. It was obviously Martin's sister, Kelly. Next to her stood a tall man with dusty blond hair and an easy grin; Joe, Kelly's husband. Seated on the floor near Victor's feet were Martin's nieces, Sophie and Ava looking cherubic.
It was quite a formal portrait but even in the stiffness of the pose it was clear that this family had affection for one another.
Sam flipped through the photos that chronicled the life of Martin's family. The pictures weren't extraordinary in any way; they were just pictures of family gatherings, holiday, and vacations but just seeing Martin's interaction with his family reminded Sam of just how much she had been missing with her own.
She sat at the desk flipping through the pages when she came across a picture of Kelly and Ava at the beach. In the photo a large wave had rolled in, the tide reaching Kelly's thighs. She is holding Ava who has her arms and legs wrapped around Kelly, clutching to her like a lifeline. They are both laughing as the ocean spray splatters around them.
It reminded Sam of the one vacation she remembers taking as a child. Her mom's best friend had a VW bus and invited them to join her and her kids to a weekend trip to Manitowoc County. Sam remembered how excited they were to go. They couldn't afford a hotel so they stayed at a local campground that was near the water so when they wanted to go swimming it was just a short walk to the beach.
The water was cold but so beautiful. Sam loved the feeling of the moist sand squishing between her toes as she chased Brigid around. They would dare each other to see who would venture further into the water. Brigid would always reach the waters edge and step in a few feet before quickly chickening out and running back out to the safe shelter of the beach.
"Bock! Bock!" Sam would cluck at her sister.
"Oh, yeah? Let's see how far you go out Sammy!" Brigid would shout back at her. Brigid was latched onto their mom, Corinne's leg. Her mom didn't take sides; she just sat under the umbrella laughing at them.
"I'm not a scaredy cat like you!" Sam would yell before running top speed and jumping into the water and swimming out.
"Samantha, don't go out too far!" Her mom warned. "I don't want to have to swim out there to get you."
Sam ignored her and swam out so far that her mom and sister looked like small specks in the distance. She was so proud but she was also so tired. It was hard to tread the water and stay afloat. She sunk down below a few times, swallowing water with each descent. She started to get scared as she felt her body sink further by the pull of the tide below when she felt someone grab her arms and pull her up. As she hit the surface she opened her eyes to see her mom's worried face.
She looked panicked and asked, "Sweetie, are you alright?"
"Yeah." Sam replied as she realized she was probably going to be in a lot of trouble for not listening to her mom's warning.
Her mom swam them both back to the shore holding her tightly. As they reached the beach her mom plopped them both onto the sand, panting heavily. A small crowd gathered around them and Brigid just looked disdainfully at her. She sat there feeling guilty for a few beats when her mom sat up, pulled Sam tightly to her and sternly said, "Samantha, you scared me half to death. You have to listen to me when I tell you something. You could've drowned! I know you think I'm being mean to you but I only say that stuff because I love you so much. I don't want anything bad to happen to you. Okay?"
Sam nodded her head solemnly as tears ran down her cheeks. Her mom brushed them off her face and said, "Its okay sweetie, but do me a favor: just stick to making sand castles for awhile."
Sam looked up at her and nodded her head smiling. Knowing things were okay she and Brigid spent the rest of the afternoon building sand castles or burying one another in the sand while her mom sat on the beach towel just watching them with a big smile on her face.
Sam felt her throat tighten at the memory. She hadn't thought about that day in years. It was blocked out during her teen years by her anger and frustration. She glanced at her cell phone and as if she was being pulled in by the tide again she reached for the silver device and dialed.
It rang just once before her mom's voice answered, "Hello?"
"Mom?" Sam's voice cracked.
"Brig?" Her mom's voice sounded older and softer.
"Samantha." Sam corrected, trying not to feel hurt that her own mother didn't recognize her voice.
"Samantha, I'm sorry….it's just I haven't heard from you in awhile." Her mom quickly apologized.
"Yeah, I know it's been a long time." Sam sunk into the chair and pulled her legs up, holding them tightly to her.
"Is anything wrong?" Her mom asked; her tone full of concern.
"No, I was just thinking about you and I…" Sam didn't know how to bring up all the thoughts she had been thinking since she arrived in Chicago. So she decided to play it casual and asked, "How are things in Kenosha?"
Her mom paused for a beat "Things are good. Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." Sam felt tears well in her eyes at the sound of her mom's voice. "I just…. wanted to call you."