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"It isn't possible to love and to part. You will wish that it was. You can transmute love, ignore it, muddle it…but you can never pull it out of you." - Unknown

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Chapter 39

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Martin lay in bed feeling a chill that had nothing to do with the temperature in the room. After Sam told him she wasn't sure what was going to happen after she went home they lay together in silence. Each lost in their own hurt and confusion. Eventually Sam drifted off to sleep but he remained wide awake, mentally whipping himself for initiating the argument earlier, perhaps the very argument that would drive Sam out of his life permanently. He watched Sam sleeping beside him looking so lovely with her soft pale skin and long blond hair. Maybe they were moving fast but he had never felt this way about any woman before and he didn't want to lose this, lose her.

As soon as the sun began to rise, he snuck out of bed, changed his clothes and took Milo out for an early morning run. While it was slow going, the snow and ice shifting under each step, it felt good to be out of the house doing something that always helped calm his nerves in the past. Even Milo seemed thrilled to be out running again, he wasn't as pokey as he normally was; he just wanted to run and for that alone Martin was grateful. Unfortunately no matter how hard or fast they ran he could not think of any way he could convince Sam to just forgive and forget the awful things he said to her the night before. The best he could do was to try and convince her to take a leap of faith, trust that he would never intentionally hurt her again.

By the time he had started back home he saw that in the forty minutes he was out running that the neighborhood had come alive. While offices and transportation had reopened for business, the schools decided to wait until Monday to start up again so kids were crowded along sidewalks having snowball fights and building snowmen. Everyone seemed visibly relieved that they could come out of their homes and breathe in fresh, albeit cold, air.

By they time they returned home they were both pleasantly exhausted. He quickly fed Milo and went upstairs to shower and get dressed for work. After he had changed he stopped by the guest room to check on Sam and saw that she was still asleep so he went back downstairs for some coffee.

Martin stood at the window drinking his coffee from a travel mug hoping that the caffeine would help his sleep deprived brain wake up when he heard the kitchen door open. He turned around and saw Sam standing there in her jeans and sweater, both wrinkled from having been slept in. For the first time since he met her he was at a loss for words so he just reached into the cabinet, pulled out a mug and poured her a cup of coffee. He added the cream and sugar the way she liked it and placed it on the island near where she stood.

She gave him a tight lipped smile before walking up and accepting the proffered cup. She took a drink, her eyes watching him from over the rim. Afterwards she sat on a stool and quietly said, "When I got up and you weren't there I thought maybe you had already left."

"Would you have preferred that?" He hadn't intended for his tone to sound harsh but by the look on her face that's the way she interpreted it. "I'm sorry, that came out wrong. I just meant that I don't want you to feel more uncomfortable around me and…..I just can't seem to keep my foot out of my mouth can I?"

"It's okay." She gently reassured him. "I know what you meant."

"Thanks," He replied.

"When do you have to leave for work?" She asked before taking another drink.

"I talked to Charlie yesterday afternoon and he is going to pick me up. He sounded excited to get out of the house so I'm pretty sure he'll be here any minute."

She traced the rim of her mug with her finger and said, "I guess everyone was getting a case of cabin fever."

Martin didn't reply but simply looked out the window and took another drink of his coffee. He finished his coffee and started to refill his mug. He had a feeling he would need lots of coffee today.

His back was to Sam when she said, "I'm going to leave around eleven today. My mom is only working the morning shift at the diner so she wants me to stop by to have lunch there."

He cleared his throat and replied, "Good, that's good."

"Martin, I know you had told me I could take your Jeep but I completely understand if you've changed your mind…."

"Sam, I said you could use it and I meant it. That hasn't changed." He said firmly, turning back to face her. He knew that while the roads were deemed clear there was always a chance for someone to hit a patch of black ice and he wanted her to be in a car that he trusted.

"Okay, thanks." She nodded her head and tucked some hair behind her ears. She gripped the mug and looking at him asked, "Um, what about Saturday?"

He knew that she was referring to the date they had planned before things started to fall apart. While last night she pretty much said it was canceled the fact that she was asking now might mean that she was reconsidering so he said, "I know things have changed between us since we planned it but I would still like to go out if you are willing."

She gave him a small lopsided smile and said, "I'd like that."

For the first time since the fight they looked at one another with a flicker of hope.

A car honked outside and Martin said, "That's Charlie. I have to go." He grabbed his coat off of the coat rack and as he headed through the kitchen he fumbled through the pockets and pulled out his car keys. "You're going to need these."

He held them out for her and as she reached up to get them she wrapped her hand around his, gave it a gentle squeeze and whispered, "Thanks. See you Saturday."

He squeezed back and softly replied, "Saturday."

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"I'm telling you Marty, it was like a combination of house arrest and a state penitentiary. I had the luxuries of being at home but I was stuck with maniacal inmates. I actually got into an argument with my four year-old about the crime solving techniques used on Scooby Doo." Charlie whined as they headed towards the bullpen.

Charlie had been telling Martin all about his time in captivity from the moment he picked him up until now and was showing no signs of letting up. While on a normal day Martin would be annoyed, today he was glad to have Charlie shift the focus on himself rather than pester Martin with questions about the time he spent with Sam because while Martin had told Charlie about Sam staying with him when they arranged to carpool that was before the fight.

When they reached the bullpen Martin saw that both James and Anna had arrived before them. They were sitting at the conference table with cups of coffee and laughing.

Anna looked up when she heard them approach and said, "Hey Charlie, are you as happy to be back to work as we are?"

"You know it!" Charlie smiled as he headed to his desk. Then he stopped, patted Martin on the shoulder and said, "I think the only one who is sorry that the storm is over is this guy." He turned to Martin who had a surprised look on his face. "You didn't think you were getting off the hook that easily did you? I was just avoiding asking questions so you could tell us all together."

"Tell us what?" James asked.

Martin opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, caught completely off guard. Charlie laughed and said, "Here man, I'll help you out." He looked at Anna and James and said, "Sam's plane didn't make it out in time so she stayed with our boy Martin."

James and Anna hoot and hollered as Martin stood there calculating how he could harm Charlie. While he knew that as far as Charlie was concerned he was still the guy who couldn't stop yammering about Sam the day before he couldn't help but feel like he just got suckered punched in the gut.

"Alright Martin, sit down," Anna pushed one of the chairs towards him with her foot. With a wide grin she said, "I want details."

Stalling for time he replied, "Okay, just give me a second to take my coat off." He turned his back away from them and started unbuttoning his coat. Behind him he could hear the team comparing notes on how they kept their kids occupied for the last few days.

He was thankful to have a minute to figure out just how much to share because while they were his friends he didn't know what the future held for him and Sam and it would be easier to go with the short story. So if they ended it on Sunday or if Sam decided to take a chance on him, either way he would be covered. He would just tell them that it was a fling and that would be that; short and sweet. The decision made he hung up his coat, walked to the conference table and sat down.

Anna smiled, leaned in and said, "So……?"

He looked at his three friends who were watching him anxious and hopeful. He opened his mouth prepared to tell his little white lie when before he knew how it happened he said, "I need your help, I seriously screwed up….."