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"I love you - those three words have my life in them." - Alexandria to Nicholas III

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Chapter 42

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Sam pulled the Jeep onto the highway and settled into her seat. She gripped the steering wheel and signaled to change lanes.

"I don't know about you Sam but I am exhausted." Corinne commented as she leaned back in her seat staring out the window.

"Me too," Sam replied stifling a yawn.

"Do you mind if I turn on the radio?" Corinne asked with her hand on the dial.

Sam smiled and said, "Sure, just no country okay."

"You know me better than that, Samantha." Corinne switched on the radio and started scanning through the stations. "Your mama likes to rock n' roll."

Sam laughed as he mom located a classic rock station. Her mom smiled with pleasure at hearing one of her favorite songs by the Rolling Stones beginning to play. The sound of a choir opened the song when Keith Richard's softly strumming guitar slowly filtered in followed by the one and only Mick Jaggar's voice, "I saw her today at the reception, a glass of wine in her hand. I knew she was gonna meet her connection, at her feet was a footloose man." Corinne began to sing along with the song as she got a lost far away look in her eyes, "You can't always get what you want…You can't always get what you want…You can't always get what you want but if you try sometimes, well you might find, you get what you need."

Sam smiled at the sound of her mother's singing voice, sure if was off key but she knew that her mom's duets with her favorite songs was one of the few pleasures in her life so Sam just sat back and listened as her mind drifted to the events earlier in the evening.

She had no idea what to expect when she saw Brigid after so many years but she was definitely not expecting the frosty reception she received. When Sam and her mom arrived at the home of Brigid and her fiancée, Gus, she could feel the aggression rolling off of Brigid in large waves. While she and her sister both bore a strong physical resemblance, Sam's eyes were brown while Brigid's were hazel. Sam used to think Brigid's eyes were like a mood ring, changing color to suit how she was feeling. And today, they were dark and gray.

Brigid greeted her as if she were an unexpected and most unwelcome visitor. It pained Sam to know that she and her sister had not only grown so far apart but now it seemed that the distance was the size of the Grand Canyon. Her mom was trying her best to be pleasant while Gus was all smiles and cheer.

After a little bit of awkward chit chat they all gathered around the table to eat dinner; the atmosphere filled with palpable tension. Sam moved her peas around her plate idly listening to Brigid talk to her mom about some people that Sam didn't know so she clearly could not contribute anything to the conversation.

She had just assembled her peas into a star pattern when her mom touched her arm and said, "Sam, Gus just asked you a question."

"Oh I'm sorry, Gus." Sam quickly apologized, noticing Brigid rolling her eyes at her.

"That's okay, I was just wondering how you like living in the Big Apple?" Gus asked again.

Sam smiled. Gus was a really good guy. He was stocky, with thin brown hair and big smile that showcased equally large teeth. "I love it. Have you ever been to New York?"

"No, but I've always wanted to visit." Gus put his hand on Brigid's and said, "Hey, maybe we can arrange to have New York be our port when we go on our honeymoon cruise." He turned back to look at Sam and added, "Maybe you could show us the sights; the Statue of Liberty, Times Square, the Empire State Building…."

Sam opened her mouth to answer when Brigid replied, "Gus, Sam doesn't have time for that. She's a big important FBI agent." She leaned forward on the table and said, "So, Sammy, I bet it must feel really strange to be back here after so much time away." She paused to take a slow drink of her water. "I mean, after so much time living in the big city Kenosha must seem so small and insignificant."

"No, not at all." Sam replied. Brigid was being aggressive so she tried to remain cool and collected. "I think Kenosha is very significant."

Corinne smiled widely as she tried to play peacekeeper. "Brigid, come on, we're all trying to have a nice dinner."

Brigid narrowed her eyes and said, "No, mom, you come on. Sam disappears for years and we hardly hear a peep out of her. Then she suddenly decides that she's ready to reconnect and you welcome her home like the prodigal daughter. As if she isn't the one who cut off contact, who decided that we weren't good enough for her." Brigid pushed back her chair and said, "Excuse me if I don't feel like celebrating."

"Brig…." Gus called after her. Seconds later they all heard a door slam shut. He rubbed his chin and said, "I'm sorry Samantha. Brigid is just…."

"Its okay, Gus, she's right." Samantha commented as she stood up. "Excuse me."

As Sam walked out of the dining room in search of Brigid she heard her mom say, "You should have seen them when they were little girls. Like peas in a pod."

Sam walked down the narrow hallway to the bedroom. The walls were lined with photos. Sam recognized some of them but most not. She stopped in front of a photo of Brigid receiving her Associates degree in court reporting. She was smiling widely and their mom had her arm wrapped around her shoulder. Sam felt an emptiness inside of her because here was tangible evidence of her absence; but to be fair, Brigid was missing in her photos too. When she graduated from Quantico there weren't any family member's present to offer up their congratulations. They claimed they couldn't get the time off of work and it was too expensive. Sam remembered thinking that day, "Screw them, if they don't care then neither do I."

So she cut them out. She stopped returning messages and eventually the phone calls stopped altogether. She became absorbed in her work and told herself that she didn't need her sister, her mother or anyone else in Kenosha. She looked at the photo again and wondered if Brigid had the same thought on her important day.

When she reached the bedroom door she knocked and Brigid said, "Leave me alone."

Ignoring her response, Sam went ahead and opened the door. Her sister was sitting on the edge of the bed facing the window. She was slumped over and smoking a cigarette.

"You never did listen when I told you to leave me alone." Brigid commented with her back still towards Sam.

"You're right, I figure why start now?" Sam walked around the bed and sat down next to her big sister. The bed dipped to the weight so Brigid had to scoot further up.

"Did you come in here to tell me that I'm wrong, that we're to blame?" Brigid asked as the smoke from the cigarettes blew out of her nose.

"No, actually I was going to tell you that you're right." Sam watched her sister smoking and for the first time in a long time she really wanted a cigarette. Brigid turned to look at her and raised an eyebrow so Sam continued, "I left because I was mad at mom but once I was gone I cut you off too and that was wrong. I can't even explain how it happened exactly but after awhile it was just easier to not call you than try and make contact after so much time passed."

Brigid nodded her head and took another drag. The smoke was thick around them. "Are you dying?"

"What?" Sam asked, shocked by the question. "No, why would you ask me that?"

"I was just trying to think why you would come back now and the only reason I can come up with is that you are dying or need an organ transplant."

Sam laughed. Brigid looked at her annoyed so Sam quickly said, "Brigid, you have been watching way too many chick flicks." She chuckled and added, "Considering how much you and mom smoke you are going to be asking for my organs first."

Brigid laughed and it was like music to Sam's ears. "You're probably right." After a few more chuckles she softly asked, "Why are you back, Samantha? Why after all this time?"

"I wish could offer you some profound reason but the simple truth is that I missed you guys. I missed having a family and I was tired of losing any more time over so much petty shit that happened a long time ago." Sam put her hands between her knees and leaned forward to put her head near her sister's, "I just don't want to lose any more time."

They sat in silence for a few minutes when Brigid finally said, "I'm still mad."

"I know. I am fully prepared for you to be mad for quite awhile." Sam remarked before smirking and saying, "I cut your Barbie's hair and you were mad for a month. Believe me: I know you can hold a grudge for a long time but you eventually forgave me for that, I hope someday we can get past this too."

Brigid smiled and replied, "I don't know, I'm still kinda pissed about the doll."

By the time Sam left she and Brigid were being friendly to each other. While there were still unresolved hurt feelings on both their parts at least the door of communication was now open. Sam was staring at the road ahead and it took her a moment to register that the music had stopped playing so they could do a quick local news update.

"…..and today in Chicago a case of a missing person resulted in tragedy when the victim's ex-boyfriend turned up at the woman's new home and shot her husband. Two federal agents arrived on the scene moments later and there was an exchange of gunfire resulting in the death of the ex-boyfriend but not before he was able to shoot one of the agents. While names are not being released until family has been notified…."

Sam slammed on her breaks and jerked the car to the side of the road pulling to a hard stop. The car behind her showed their disgust by blasting their car horn and flipping her off as they past.

Sam ignored them as she fumbled through her coat pockets to locate her cell phone.

"Samantha! What in the hell are you doing?" Corinne demanded as she tried to touch Sam's shoulder. "What's going on?"

"Just give me a minute," Sam ordered as she pulled out her cell phone and began dialing Martin's number with nervous shaking fingers. It didn't even ring once before going directly to his voicemail. Sam hung up and tried reaching Charlie but she got his voicemail too. Her heart was racing in her chest. "Damn it."

"Samantha, what's going on?" Corinne asked; her voice laced with concern.

Sam swallowed and in a shaky voice said, "The shooting. I think that was my case and….um, I just need to make sure Martin's okay." She tried calling Martin's number again and his voicemail picked up. She was about to dial again when suddenly her cell phone rang and she immediately answered, "Spade."

"Samantha, it's Anna," Her voice was even and it ignited something inside of Sam.

"What's going on? I just heard a report on the news and Martin's not answering his phone…." Sam's words were fast and insistent.

"Sam, its okay, Martin's fine," Anna explained. Sam sighed with relief and it calmed her to hear Anna sounding assured and confident. "Charlie was the one who was injured and thankfully Carl's a lousy shot. He hit him in the arm and managed to avoid causing any serious damage. He's going to be fine."

"Thank god." Sam breathed, trying to steady her nerves. Sam pinched the bridge of her nose and asked, "What in the hell happened?"

Sam could feel her mom watching her intensely as Anna explained Carl's accidental release to the moment Martin shot him dead. Fortunately, that while Dominic's wound was pretty bad he was expected to make a full recovery.

"Needless to say it has been madness here. Martin wanted to call you himself but he's been tied up dealing with all the inquiries considering he was Carl's arresting officer in Milwaukee and he was the one who shot him here in Chicago." Anna finished.

"Do you need me to come down?" Sam asked, turning to face her mom.

"No, we still need your report but not tonight." Anna replied.

"Okay, if you're sure. Call me if you need me to do anything." Sam said with a nod and then softly added, "Please tell Martin……tell him to call me as soon as he is able."

"Will do," Anna replied. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight and thanks for calling Anna." Sam replied before closing her phone. She smiled at her mom and said, "Martin's fine. It was his partner who was shot but he's going to be okay."

"Good, I'm glad your friend is alright." Corinne said with a grin. Sam nodded her head and then clicked her blinker on to move back onto the highway. As soon as they were moving again Corinne cleared her throat and added, "So…..it's not serious, huh?"

"Mom, I would be extremely worried if anyone I knew might have been shot." Sam argued with her eyes looking out onto the street ahead.

"That's right, Samantha," Corinne replied smirking, "Just keep telling yourself that."

Sam didn't say a word but she knew it was her silence that was speaking volumes to her mom. She blew out a frustrated breath; she always hated it when her mom was right.