A Different Kind of Pain Chapter 4: You Found Me: Omi's POV, a weiss kreuz fanfic

A/N: Lyrics throughout this chapter from Kelly Clarkson's You Found Me

Is this a dream?
If it is, please don't wake me from this high
I'd become comfortably numb
Until you opened up my eyes
To what its like when everything's right
I can't believe. . .

I was going numb. . . not feeling anything had been so tempting at that time. All I had been able to feel for months had been pain and guilt -- nothingness had to be an improvement over that. I was trying so hard to let myself go numb, not to feel anything, but something inside of me rebelled against that so hard that one night I just snapped.

You found me when no one else was looking
How did you know just where I would be?
You broke through all of my confusion
The ups and the downs and you still didn't leave
I guess that you saw what nobody could see
You found me

He could have left me there. . . no one would have been the wiser. Hell, I probably would have been grateful for the chance to slip the rest of the way into the nothingness I was seeking. I really expected him to walk away; we were not close, he had no reason to help me once he saw that I was not being attacked.

But he stayed. Not just that time, but every time after that when everything became too much for me to handle and I snapped. Every time, he was there, talking, listening, or just being there; whatever I needed him to do. He always seemed to know without me having to ask. He even called me Omi when we were alone. . . I don't think he'll ever realize how much that meant to me.

So, here we are
That's pretty far
When you think of where we've been
No going back,
I'm fading out all that has faded me within
You're by my side
Now everything's fine
I can't believe. . .

It is hard to imagine that we used to be mortal enemies. We used to try to kill each other, and now there is no other person I trust more. I trust him with my life, and more importantly, my heart.

As I look down on his sleeping form curled so trustingly against me, I know that I would not have things any other way. No one has ever been so loyal to me, so unfailingly committed to my happiness and peace of mind.

And I was hiding til you came along
And showed me where I belong

I love Nagi more than I ever thought it possible to love another human being. Perhaps our circumstances, having to be together all day, every day, has made our bond stronger. Whatever it is, be it fate, soul mates, or simply circumstances, I would not have it any other way. I still miss my former teammates, particularly Ken, with a strength that can some days border on painful, but Nagi is there to get me through it. I will never forget and never take for granted what Ken and I had together, but I am a different man now than I was when we were in love.

Omi will always cherish the time he spent with Ken, but the man I am today, Mamoru Takatori, will forever be in love with the one who saved me from myself, Nagi Naoe.