Compilation of Secrets

Lucy Marie Curtis

I wait until I hear Darrel's door click shut to throw the blankets off of my body and move quietly out of bed. I stumble blindly out of bed because it is so dark and it's a miracle that I make it to the door without killing myself.

"Where are you going?" Pony sits up and it scares me so terribly that I jump. My heart is beating wildly in my throat suddenly and it takes me a second to respond.

"Hush!" I insist, "I'll be back in a bit."

"What if Darry wakes up?" he questions.

"He won't if you just keep your mouth shut," I whisper.

"Alright," he says, "I will, just don't be long."

"I won't be."

I'm still in a pair of pajama pants and one of Darry's old t-shirts, but I just slip on a pair of sneakers and creep silently out of the door.

"You're late," Johnny says when I first arrive, but he's smiling.

He stands up from the curb and moves closer to me, he is hesitant, but that's to be expected from Johnny.

"I know," I answer, "Darry stayed up late."

He slips his arms around my waist and I meld into him. I swear I can hear his heart rate quicken. I smile.

"Miss me?" I ask.

Johnny doesn't answer, but he leans down to kiss me lightly. I wrap my arms around his neck to keep him in place. He laughs into the kiss, softly.

We sit in the lot for a while. My head rests on his shoulder and he touches my hair softly.

"Do you ever wonder what Dally would have been like if he had lived?" he asks me after a few minutes. He is staring down at his hand, which I quickly lace with mine.

I don't respond, but I don't think that he expects me to.

"I guess somebody would've killed him eventually, even if those damn Socs didn't," he smiles grimly.

"Somebody was bound to," I say, removing my hand from his," he was such a pain in the ass all of the time."

Johnny looks at me strangely. I know I've touched a nerve; no one ever talks about Dally in front of him like that.

"You're just angry because he hated you," Johnny says, his voice is still quiet. I don't think that I've ever heard him say anything cruel to me before, but this comment stabs me like a knife.

"He hated me because I wanted him to hate me," I speak childishly and I am immediately ashamed.

We are silent again until he turns to face me again. I struggle to meet his eyes.

"I'm sorry, Luce, I shouldn't have said that."

He leans over to kiss me and I have to forgive him.Just likeI always do.I sigh when he pulls me closer to him. I am struggling to move closer to himwith little luck. Suddenly, he is pulling at the hem of my shirt, touching my bare skin. Goose bumpsrun up my flesh.I pull away.

"I'm sorry," he begins, "I shouldn't have-,"

He thinks that I have rejected him, he thinks that he has been to bold. He hasn't though; I am just as willing as he is.

"Lets go somewhere, John," I say, breathlessly, "Are your parents home?"

I kiss him againand move nearer to him. My heart is racing in my ears, butI try to ignore it.

Reluctantly, he pushes me away.

"Oh God, I'd love to," he said, his cheeks turning pink, "but we can't."

I groan, pulling away from him.

"Why?" I question.

"'Cause Darrel would kill me if he ever found out. Besides, I don't want it to be like this," he says and even through the darkness I can see his ears turning pink.

I nod.

"I'll walk you home," he stands up and pulls me to my feet.

"Alright," I say.

We reach the front gate and I turn to face him.

"Goodnight," I whisper so Darrel, whose bedroom window is in the front of the house, won't hear. I know that i'm risking getting grounded again, and that just won't do, not with Johnny leaving soon. I try not to think about that, though.

He touches my cheek to pull me from my daze.

"Goodnight," he smiles.

I kiss his cheekand turn to make my way to the front door.

"Love ya', Luce," he adds.

He speaks so softly that I can barely hear him. It takes a few seconds, but eventually it hits me fast and hard. His words startle me and all of the sudden I feel like crying. What have I done to deserve to hear something like that from him?

I turn back to face him, but all I can do is nod.

A/N: Wow, it's been a while. Sorry about that! Thanks to all of the great reviewers! Please review and let me know what I can do better.

-Avenging Angel