Spoiler Warning: Alternative scene taken place around Phase 42-43 of GSDestiny

Summary: "He didn't know why, but he didn't want to cause her any more pain. He could never be this 'Mwu' of hers, and staying would just remind her—and himself—of that unchangeable fact."

DECISION
by MapleRose

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The Archangel slept silently as repairs were being done and supplies were being loaded in preparation for ZAFT's attack on Orb. Everyone was busily preparing as well, for no one noticed one man preparing to leave.

Neo Lorrnoke put on his Earth Alliance uniform—all that remained of his personal belongings—and started down the hall of the battleship unnoticed.

He walked to the exit, down the ramp and onto the dock. He turned and looked at the red-and-white ship, gaze lingering as he silently bid the ship and its (odd) crew goodbye—and good riddance. He wasn't exactly happy, or willing, to be on board, but now that he had a choice, he suddenly felt slightly nostalgic. Shaking his head to clear those absurd thoughts, Neo turned to leave, but before he'd taken a step, he was stopped by the arm.

"Where are you going?" came the accusing voice of the young Coordinator as Neo turned to look at him.

"I'm leaving," he answered simply in an even voice.

"Why?" the boy stared back to him, gaze unwavering.

"I can't stay here anymore. I'm not wanted or needed," he replied as he pulled his arm from Kira's grasp.

"Really? Says who?"

What is this, an interrogation! Neo was starting to get irritated by Kira's constant questions. He had to go before he could change his mind. So he turned and attempted to step away from the boy. But the boy took hold of his arm again, and for someone so young, he sure had a lot of strength.

"Let go kid!" Neo snarled in annoyance.

"Not until you tell me why you are leaving," the boy replied evenly.

Neo sighed and faced the boy again. "I told you, I'm not obligated to stay here anymore. You guys said there was no use keeping me prisoner, didn't you?"

At that, the boy was silent. But something in his eyes made Neo unable to leave.

"I know that," Kira said finally in a low voice, "But where do you think you can go? The Destroy is gone, and Jibril went into hiding."

It was Neo's turn to be silent. Where did he plan to go?

"That's none of your business kid. There's no reason for me to stay here," the older man turned once again to leave, but the kid's next words made him stop.

"Murrue-san would be sad."

Neo blinked at that. He recalled that "Murrue" was apparently the name of the captain. He couldn't help but utter a cold "Why" at the kid's absurd statement.

"Because, she doesn't want you to leave her again."

"What are you talking about?" he turned slightly and eyed the young Coordinator suspiciously. "You say the weirdest things."

"You're the one who's acting odd, Mwu-san."

Neo took a deep breath and told the kid patiently, "For the last time, I'm not this 'Mwu' you keep referring to."

Kira just stared back at him; his eyes told that he was convinced as ever that Neo was Mwu.

Shaking his head to clear his head of that thought, Neo turned again, attempting to leave.

"You don't have to do this Mwu-san," Kira's quiet voice stopped him once again. "I'm sure Murrue-san would allow you to stay."

Neo whirled around at that, nearly shouting at the kid, "Will you stop calling me that! Whoever this 'Mwu' is, I'm not him, okay! I know apparently I look like him, but my name is Neo. I don't know this ship, and I've never met any of you before!"

"Are you sure about that?"

Neo let out an exasperated sigh. He didn't know how this kid could just be so calm like that. And Neo also didn't know what came over him either; he didn't often show his anger like that, and he had no idea why he was so worked up about this. Perhaps it was because he was angry and annoyed that almost everyone aboard that ship was a hundred percent convinced that he was this "Mwu" —most of all, this kid named Kira—that he was starting to believe it himself. He was afraid that if he stayed, this crazy idea might drive him insane (if it hadn't already). Then he remembered the look of pain and longing on the captain's face when she looked at him, as if she was desperately trying to hold herself back despite the fact that she wanted nothing more than to throw herself at him. No, she wasn't really looking at him, but rather at the ghost of someone else. At times he felt that he knew her, but the feeling would pass as quickly as it came, always escaping his grasp. For some reason, he felt angry at himself for not being able to become this "Mwu" of hers. He didn't know why, but he didn't want to cause her any more pain. He could never be this "Mwu" of hers, and staying would just remind her—and himself—of that unchangeable fact.

"Yes, I'm sure," he answered Kira's question. "She doesn't care about me, she loves this 'Mwu' guy. And I'd just cause her more trouble."

Neo was surprised at the change of expression on the kid's face. The younger man made a slight "heh" sound, and Neo wasn't sure whether he was laughing or crying.

"But you are him, you're the one she cares for, Mwu-san. We can all see that."

"Well I don't!" Neo snapped, not even bothering to correct him.

He knew he had to leave right now, because he felt his resolve weakening by the boy's words. Once again, he found himself wondering who he was, and what it was that made someone who they are. Once again, he found himself wondering if he was who everyone said he was, and wondering who exactly was "Mwu La Flaga".

"Fine. If that's what you want, then I won't stop you, Mwu-san," Kira's quiet but firm voice broke into his thoughts. "It's your choice of which path you take. But don't you think you should at least tell Murrue-san if you're leaving? She deserves to know, or at least a good-bye."

With that, Kira walked back to the ship, leaving Neo standing at the dock alone, deep in thought.

He didn't move either way. He was at a fork in the road, should he go or stay? If he did go, would he regret it? And if he stayed, would he be able to keep his sanity?

"If that's what you want…"

What exactly did he want?

Instinctively, he wanted to stay with her, by her side, because something in him told him that it was where he belonged, that he would find happiness if he stayed. But his rational mind—was it still rational? Or was he lost and insane already—warned him to leave, to save the both of them trouble and pain.

"Murrue-san would be sad."

Why would she be sad to see him go? He could see clearly that she really loved this "Mwu", so even if Neo did want to stay with her, how was he ever going to compete with this "Mwu"?

"She deserves to know…"

Maybe he should find her and tell her, he owed her that much at least. But if he did talk to her, would he still have the resolve to leave? And if he didn't, would that be a bad thing?

Neo stared at the silent form of the battleship.

"It's your choice of which path you take…"

Taking a deep breath, he made his decision and started to walk down the chosen path.

AN: yeah, yeah, I should be updating "Promise Me" or "Second Love", but this idea has been in my head for the longest time, and is itching to be written down. An alternative scene to Phase 42, what if he decided to leave instead of her letting him leave. More Neo angst, I kinda feel sorry for him, thinking he knows who he is, then having everyone around convinced otherwise (hehe, Neo's jealous of himself XD I couldn't help but put that in there). Also, I really wanted to put in some Kira Neo interaction that is sadly absent in Destiny. I left a hanging ending so you can decide what he chose :)

Review?