XXXXXXX

And fate has led you through it

You do what you have to do…

I had the sense to recognize that

I don't know how to let you go

- Sarah McLachlan, 'Do What You Have To Do'

XXXXXXX

Chapter 50

XXXXXXX

Sam dropped her suitcase by the island in the kitchen. She was all packed but she found herself hesitant to put the piece of black luggage into the car. It would have felt like the final step and she wasn't ready to make it yet. Instead she decided to have some more coffee so she moved towards the counter and poured herself another cup. She added the cream and sugar deciding to look around the living room to see if there was anything that she might have left lying about.

She sipped her coffee and strolled past the dining room table when she spotted a bright flash of pink. The moment she realized what it was and where it was she had to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Martin asked.

She turned to find that Martin had returned. He was standing in the doorway between the kitchen and dining area looking at her as if she was a mad woman. She just grinned and pointed to the chandelier where tangled up in the light fixture was her bra; the hot pink bra. Martin's eyes went wide before he joined her in the laughter.

"You're going to have to go up there to get it." Sam commented as she looked up at the fixture hanging high above.

"Why do I have to do it? It's your fault that it's up there." Martin said in a snarky tone as he came to stand next to her. "Besides, I kinda like it. It adds a nice splash of color…."

Sam looked at him with a bemused smile and said, "You're joking right?"

"Not at all," He looked at her quite seriously and said, "In fact, I think I'll have my sister redecorate around it. Make it the centerpiece of the room."

She shook her head with a knowing smile and he grinned at her mischievously. She cleared her throat and said, "Or…you can get it down so I can take it with me, thereby giving you a chance to see it on me again."

Martin ran his eyes over her as if recalling the memory of last night and he replied, "You win." He pulled out one of the chairs before moving to stand on the table.

"Be careful." Sam warned at seeing Martin standing in the center of the table. It was a strong sturdy table – proven by last nights dining room romp – but it still made her nervous.

He was able to reach it and tried to remove it but judging by his grunts it was not as easy as she had hoped. After a few more minutes Martin finally liberated the brassiere from the chandelier. Bra in hand he moved to the end of the table and hopped off.

"Your bra my lady," Martin joked as he handed her the piece of lingerie.

"My hero," She replied as she snatched it from his hands.

"So I saw your suitcase in the kitchen." His voice was low and sad. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," She replied before waving the bra and adding, "Well, once I get this thing packed then I will be."

She could see his Adam's apple move as he swallowed. He gave her a quick nod and said, "Okay, great. So, um, why don't you pack that and I will go grab my wallet so we can head out."

"Okay," She replied with a quick nod before heading into the kitchen. She stuffed her bra into the small compartment on the front of the suitcase. Martin returned and moved to pick up her bag when she said, "Martin…"

"Yeah?"

"We're being ridiculous, it's not like we're never going to see each other again." She stepped up and wrapped her arms around his waist. "We have to stop being so…so…."

"Sad? Morose? Despondent?" Martin provided.

"Yeah, that. I hate long teary farewells so what do you say we just promise focus on the positive okay? Just a quick drop-off at the airport and I'll see you in three short weeks."

Martin looked deep into her eyes when he finally replied. "Okay sure."

"I mean it, Martin, just a simple goodbye; quick like a band-aid."

"Whatever you want Sam."

She gave him a kiss and said, "Thanks."

He stepped back and picked up the bag. "I'll just get this into the jeep and we can head out."

Sam nodded her head and started to follow him into the garage when she spotted Milo sitting by his water bowl watching her. She stepped over to him and leaned forward pet him. "Bye Milo." She gently scratched him behind the ears as he looked at her with big brown eyes. "You take care of Martin okay?" The big dog panted his agreement so Sam gave him a final pet before walking to the garage.

A few minutes later they were on the road and they were both quiet and introspective. Sam wanted to be upbeat and talk about what they would do in New York, work, sports, anything just so the silence wouldn't overwhelm them but she just couldn't seem to get her voice to work. So she just stared out the window as the Chicago skyline whirred past.

Martin must have felt the same oppressive quiet because he said, "How about some music?"

"Sounds like a good idea." She replied as she happily reached over to find something to fill the quiet. She clicked on the radio.

If you leave me now, you'll take away the biggest part of me
No baby please don't go
If you leave me now, you'll take away the very heart of me
No baby please don't go

A love like ours is love that's hard to find
How could we let it slip away
We've come too far to leave it all behind
How could we end it all this way

/Click/

Why, why some people break up
Then turn around and make up
I just can't see
You'd never do that to me (would you, baby)
Staying around you is all I see
(Here's what I want us to do)

Let's, we oughta stay together
Loving you whether, whether
Times are good or bad, happy or sad

/Click/

Stay awhile, what's your hurry?
Stay awhile, 'cause I worry, oh
Any time that you're out of sight

I hate to see you go
Tell you what I'll do
I'll be good to you
I'll make you glad that you are mine

/Click/

You said that I was naive and I thought that I was strong
I thought, "Hey, I can leave, I can leave."
Oh, but now I know that I was wrong, 'cause I missed you
Yeah, I miss you

You said, "you caught me 'cause you want me and one day you let me go"
You try to give away a keeper, or keep me
'Cause you know you're just scared to lose
And you say, "Stay."

Sam shook her head annoyed as the radio seemed to be mocking her situation with every single song. She stole a glance at Martin who seemed to be under the same impression based on his eye rolling. She reached over to turn the radio off saying, "Doesn't seem to be anything good playing."

He rubbed his hand along his chin and replied, "Yeah, I think you're right." He pointed to a sign outside the car and added, "Besides, we're already here."

Sam looked out the windshield to see a sign that read, "O'Hare – Departing Flights"

Martin slowed the car through the stop-go traffic as people were being dropped off at their appropriate gates. Martin found the American Airlines section and pulled the car next to the curb.

He put the car in park and turned to face her. "So…um, where did Danny say he was going to meet you?"

Sam cleared her throat hoping to dislodge the lump forming there and replied, "At check-in desk inside."

Martin's blue depths stared into hers before he gave her a quick nod and said, "I'll just get your bag."

Sam watched as he stepped out of the jeep and opened the back to retrieve her luggage. She glanced at his vacant seat, took a deep breath and stepped out of the car. Martin had put her suitcase on the sidewalk and stood there waiting for her. While there were numerous people departing for flights getting dropped off and cars honking for a place to pull over all she could focus on was the look on Martin's face. He wore a smile but there was no mistaking the sadness in his eyes.

"So, I guess this is it." Sam breathed as she stepped up to Martin.

"Yeah," Martin met her halfway and pulled her into an embrace. "Have a safe trip."

She smiled knowing he was just trying to follow her instructions from earlier and make it a simple goodbye but there was what she had hoped and there was what was. And saying goodbye to Martin was not easy.

He moved his arms and cupped her face in his hands and kissed her. Martin ended the kiss and rested his forehead on hers whispering, "This is a lot harder than I thought it would be."

"Yeah, I know…" Sam closed her eyes trying to steal her nerves to do what she knew she had to do. She looked up at him and kissed him again before she pulled back, squared her shoulders and said, "But remember what we agreed: no drawn out goodbye, just quick like a band-aid."

"Yeah, okay." Martin replied.

Sam smiled gave him another quick kiss and said, "Okay, so bye and I'll see you in New York."

"Yeah, bye."

Sam gave him a forced smile and started towards the sliding doors into the airport. She was almost there when she heard Martin shouting her name. Sam had just barely turned around when there was Martin, his lips on her mouth and his arms wrapped around her back, holding her tightly to him. She didn't think it was possible that a kiss could hold so many emotions; sadness, passion, sweetness, hopefulness, and maybe, just maybe, love.

When they finally broke apart Martin softly said, "Je te verrai dans trois semaines."

It wasn't a proclamation of love but just hearing him say, 'I'll see you in three weeks' to her in French she knew that it meant a lot. So with a shaky voice and tears in her eyes she replied, "Your professor was wrong." His blue eyes met hers and she finished, "Your accent is perfect."

She gave him a final soft kiss on the lips, a gentle smile, turned around, and walked away. She kept walking, not once looking back, too afraid that if she did that she would never have the courage to leave. So with eyes filled with tears that refused to fall she headed towards the security check-in to catch her flight home.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

A/N: If you are curious, these are the songs referenced on the radio:

"If You Leave Me Now" Chicago

"Let's Stay Together" Al Green

"Stay Awhile" Dusty Springfield

"Stay" Lisa Loeb