Disclaimer: -sigh- I don't own Ranma ½…

Author's notes: Another one from my old account -- SnapDrag21. And it's also another personal favorite. I dunno why, I've written better stuff, but this one just really hits home for me. By the way, I wrote this a year ago, and it's really not written very well at all. I'm think maybe one day, maybe I'll re-do it and make it all proper and what not.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

THE END OF THE WORLD

One-Shot

"Noooo! My silky treasures! Where has Ranma hidden you!" Happosai cries. "RANMA!"

Happosai bounds down the hall and up the stairs in search of Akane's room. Surely the boy would be trying to give Akane the panties back, only to get hit with her trusty mallet. Happy chuckles. It was fun to watch Ranma be framed.

Happosai looks up. The duck on the door said "AKANE" and as Happy strains his old ears he can hear Ranma saying, "Would ya just listen ta me for once! I didn't take 'em! It was the ol' pervert!"

"Ranma, you are a pervert!"

"I am not! And even if I was, I ain't old!"

Happosai grins as he hears Ranma cry of pain after a satisfying wham of a mallet against a skull.

Now down to business, the old man thinks. I must warn everyone of the danger!

Happy bursts into Akane's room. There, Ranma is cowering in the corner as Akane holds a cat up in front of him.

"Get it away! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!"

With a smirk Akane puts the cat down and it walks out. Ranma relaxes a bit, until he realizes that Happosai is in the room.

"Whaddya want, ya ol' freak?"

"I came to warn you that because you stole my panties, so you could have them for your own perverted uses--" With that Akane glares at Ranma and raises her mallet.

"He's lying! Really! I gave 'em to Kasumi! I didn't do nothing!"

"What do you mean, Ranma? I saw you in your room! Tossing them about and putting them on your head!" Happosai claims.

"Wha--" Ranma doesn't have a chance to say he's innocent because Akane hits him with her mallet (she wouldn't be Akane if she didn't).

"Go on," Akane says calmly.

"As I was saying," Happosai begins.

"Stupid uncute tomboy," Ranma mumbles.

"WHAT did you say?" Akane asks, mallet in ready position.

"Nothing! I said nothing!" Ranma says quickly, backing away from the dangerous girl.

Happy clears his throat. "-ahem- As I was saying, because Ranma stole the panties, the end of the world is near!"

"Ya know, with him saying stuff like that, ya really shouldn't believe him when he says I stole the panties so I could have 'em 'for my own perverted uses'," Ranma states.

After a moment, Akane nods. Happosai was a weird old pervert, sure, but he usually didn't go around spouting stuff about the end of the world coming.

Happy bursts into tears. "You don't believe me! I'm telling you we're all gonna die, which I don't say often, and you DON'T BELIEVE ME!"

Akane and Ranma kneel down so they're on his level.

"Why would we believe you?" Ranma asks.

"You really did it this time!" Happy says, pointing at Ranma. "The end of the world, I tell you!

"Akane, may I have a cry in your bosom so I can forget about extinction?"

Ranma punches the old man into the floor, Akane following that with her mallet.

"Fine! Then let me give you this advice before the world ends," Happosai places his hands on their shoulders. "Lose your virginity while you still can."

The two blushed.

And that was the last anyone ever saw of Happosai.

Yeah right! You wish! Nothing can kill that old lech!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Author's notes: This was only a little over three pages long, but it was fun while it lasted. Now review!