A/N: My Xbox is misbehaving so I figured updating this fic would be much more productive than launching my console out the window :P Hahahasendhelpplz

Sara lingered warily in the corridor outside the Tempest medbay, just beyond the range of the door sensors. She had been summoned by their resident asari doctor and wasn't entirely sure why. She suspected a Lexi-lecture awaited her and wasn't especially keen on sitting through it but could hardly avoid it considering she shared a relatively small living space with the asari doctor. She sighed and stepped forwards and the door opened automatically, revealing the spotlessly clean medbay interior. Rows of metallic cupboards and cabinets gleamed under bright fluorescent lighting, containing supplies and equipment that had thankfully barely been used. A glowing display on one wall depicted a disturbingly detailed diagram of a kett body, something Lexi was studying in her free time. The doctor herself sat at her desk in the corner with her back to the door, tapping away on her console. A slight tilt to her head signalled she had heard the door open.

"You wanted to see me?" Sara said, entering the room. Lexi swivelled her chair around to face the Pathfinder, fixing her with the soft smile that Sara had come to know as her 'doctor smile'. This wasn't friend-Lexi, this was doctor-Lexi. A little niggling sensation took up residence in the back of her mind. "Is everything okay?"

"Of course," Lexi said, getting to her feet and taking a step towards Sara.

Sara paused by one of the beds and slipped her hands into the front pocket of her hoody, inclining her head in confusion. She prompted Lexi, "it sounded like you needed to talk?"

There was an edge to Lexi's smile now, like she was steeling herself for whatever it was she was about to say. "I don't," the asari admitted, hazel eyes on Sara's, reading her, searching. "But you do."

Sara's brow creased as the niggling became full-fledged hollering. A trap. Lexi had tricked her into a therapy session. The crew were supposed to have regular meetings with the doctor along with their usual check-ups, a way to keep an eye on both physical and mental health. Most of the crew were happy enough to sit through these. Peebee and Sara, however, were the problem patients and had become adept at spinning excuses to get out of the meetings. Or rather, Sara made excuses while Peebee simply flat out refused to go.

Sara turned away in annoyance and strode across the medbay towards the door, but Lexi beat her to it, lunging across the gap between them and slapping a palm against the lock before Sara could get there. She stood between Sara and the door, daring the Pathfinder to act.

Sara halted in front of Lexi, eyes narrowed dangerously. "You can't do that."

"I just did," Lexi replied, folding her arms over her chest awkwardly, knowing she really shouldn't have. "I know you don't like talking to me. I don't think I've had more than five minutes voluntary one-on-one time with you," she paused, hazel eyes taking in the tension in Sara's arms, the angry set to her jaw. "But please," she gestured to the two chairs at her desk.

Sara glanced over towards them and felt herself go cold. The Therapy Chairs...

Lexi made her way over and sat down with one leg crossed neatly over the other, trusting Sara to leave the door locked and follow her. "If it helps, view me as an indifferent professional instead of a friend."

Sara looked pointedly towards the locked door, then back to Lexi, who gave a faint smile. "Use your imagination."

Wow. A joke.

Sara eyed The Chairs warily. Cora was a strong advocate of Lexi's little one-to-one sessions and was often attempting to coerce her stubborn friend into the medbay to talk to the asari.

Ah, what the Hell.

Sara heaved a sigh and trudged across the room, dropped into the chair opposite Lexi, folded her arms over her chest and scowled. "Have you tried this on Peebee yet?"

Lexi leaned back in her chair, crossing one leg over the other and folding her hands in her lap as she watched Sara. "Peebee doesn't needlessly throw herself into harm's way with wild abandon."

Sara glared. But she should have known Lexi would manage to have this conversation eventually. Allowing SAM to kill her had probably been the final straw. The fact it had been their only option at the time was apparently irrelevant.

"Why do you do it?" Sara made no reply. Lexi allowed the silence to stretch as she watched the Pathfinder, saw Sara begin to fidget awkwardly, glancing towards the door as she contemplated simply leaving. Saw her look down at the floor, shoulders slumping as she decided to stay.

"I don't know," Sara finally muttered, when she realized Lexi was content to sit there all day waiting for an answer if needs be. She knew she couldn't put it off forever. Something would eventually break, and she really didn't want it to be her.

"You don't?" Lexi asked. Sara glanced up at her and found herself meeting a knowing gaze. Lexi saw right through the lie. "Could it be that recklessness proves to others a confidence you don't have yourself?"

Sara froze, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. Lexi quirked an eyebrow, knowing she was right.

"I hate you," Sara told her petulantly. Lexi gave a soft smile.

"Thank you, Ryder," she replied mildly, and Sara felt an annoying stab of guilt. Lexi seemed unruffled enough, but still, Sara regretted the words already.

"I don't mean that," she muttered.

"I didn't think so." Lexi watched her quietly, clearly waiting for something.

Sara waited a beat, then uttered a growl of frustration and spread her arms, palms up. "So?"

Lexi cocked her head to one side. "So what?"

"What happens now?" She demanded impatiently.

Lexi was unaffected by her patient's agitation. "What do you want to happen?"

Sara glowered, temper flaring. "I want you to stop asking stupid questions."

"You want to be allowed to continue with the false bravado, and the stupid questions shatter that illusion for yourself," Lexi countered.

"You're a mean doctor," Sara grumbled.

Lexi shifted in her seat, uncrossing her legs to lean forwards slightly, the first real movement she had made since Sara sat opposite her. "I need you to understand that you don't have to act the way you do in dangerous situations," she said. "And if being mean is the only way to get through to you, then so be it. I am your doctor, yes, but... I am also your friend."

"Doctor Mom," Sara spoke quietly.

Lexi frowned in confusion. "Excuse me?"

"It's what I call you," Sara admitted with a faint sloped smile. She shrugged one shoulder.

Lexi couldn't help but return the smile. Sara looked so defeated, and yet so cheeky, and the name seemed to be affectionate rather than cruel. She waited to catch Sara's gaze before speaking again, "I understand you have an incredible pressure on your shoulders. But the crew is here to help you, to share that burden. Don't ever feel like you can't come to us."

Lexi was using her soothing voice, her gentle, understanding gaze, and it just made everything worse.

Sara's face crumpled finally.

"I just feel like I'm falling apart at the seams." Her voice felt thick in her throat and she felt tears sting her eyes. She angrily shoved the heels of her hands into them, forcing them back.

"All right," Lexi murmured. "Take your time."

Sara took a deep, shuddering breath to steady herself.

"I hate this." She sniffed, took another breath and finally dropped her hands, emotions in check. She looked at Lexi to find the asari now sat watching her without an ounce of sympathy or pity in her eyes. Sara loved her in that moment. Lexi knew exactly what she wanted, what she needed, had changed her demeanour to do just that.

"Is it possible that you view showing certain emotions as a sign weakness?" Lexi asked carefully.

Sara mulled that over. "I... Suppose?"

"Why is that?"

"I don't know," Sara grumbled. "I don't... I don't want people to see me... Scared..." She finally said in a small voice.

"It's okay to be scared," Lexi told her. "It's okay to be lost, to ask for help."

Sara shook her head adamantly.

"You have proven yourself to be very resilient, on many occasions that didn't require you to throw yourself in harm's way. You took on the role of Pathfinder, took charge of this ship and took on the responsibility of caring for a crew. Each and every one of us views you as strong and capable. The only one who thinks otherwise, the only one you're trying to prove these things to, is you." Sara simply stared at Lexi as the asari spoke, gently yet firmly. "You are your harshest critic, Sara Ryder."

That was true enough.

"If you want people to see you as a courageous leader then there's something you need to understand," Lexi continued. "Bravery isn't the absence of fear; it's being scared and still acting. And what have you been doing the whole time you've been Pathfinder?" She looked expectantly at Sara, both eyebrows raised.

Sara took a breath. She knew the answer Lexi wanted, was shocked as she realized it was the truth. "I've been scared but doing it anyway."

Lexi gave a small smile as she nodded. "You are already the person you want us to see. You don't need to throw yourself into harm's way to prove your fearlessness or competence."

Sara dropped her gaze, thinking it through. It made sense… She lifted her eyes to meet Lexi's once more. "There's something you should know about me."

"Oh?" Lexi asked curiously.

Sara nodded, leaning forwards as though she were about to whisper a great secret. Lexi inched forwards in her chair, prepared to listen to a quiet confession.

Sara paused, letting the anticipation build, expression deadly serious. "The reckless idiocy comes naturally to me."

Lexi burst out laughing, leaning back in her chair as Sara flashed her mischievous sloped grin and sat up straight once more.

"But I'll work on it," Sara added.

"I'm glad to hear it," Lexi said.

She watched Sara a moment longer, then smiled. "Thank you for opening up."

Sara hesitated, giving Lexi an almost suspicious look. "I can go...?" She asked slowly.

Lexi tilted her head. "Do you want to?"

"Yes!" Sara bolted to her feet and was halfway to the door before she stopped herself and turned awkwardly back to Lexi. "Um, no offense..." She rubbed the back of her neck and smiled crookedly.

"None taken," the asari replied with her own gentle smile. "You did good, I'm proud of you," she let that sink in for a moment. "Now think about what I said."

"No being reckless," Sara gave a resolute nod. "Got it."

Lexi gave a wider smile at Sara's response. Mission accomplished. She had made a crack in whatever armour Sara had built around herself, showed her she didn't need it. "And remember, this crew is a family. And there is no shame in needing help."

Sara bit back her initial response, that she needed no help. It was automatic, defensive. Instead, she took a deep breath and nodded her head. "Message received and understood." She tapped two fingers to her temple in a mock salute.

"Good," Lexi replied fondly. "Now go," she made a shooing motion with one hand at the Pathfinder. "I know you're itching to escape."

Sara grinned and unlocked the door, bounding out into the corridor feeling light and buoyed after their discussion. Maybe Cora was onto something after all.