Angel Forever
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Batgirl
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The Blind Dragon
Artemis 85
LedyDevimon13
The ship is now pretty close to Tamaran
"Hey Robin," Raven said, "you better trash your drugs now. If they catch you with your junk when we get off the ship they'll think you're a drug dealer-"
"I am not on drugs!" Robin said
"That doesn't mean you don't have any in your possession."
"What the hell is with you thinking I'm on drugs?"
"I do not think, I know. I am Raven the omnipotent, Kick Ass Party candidate for president, 2020."
"GO RAVEN!" B.B and Cyborg cheered as confetti and campaign ads fell from the ceiling. Robin ignored them.
"I think we're here." Batman said.
"Glorious!" Starfire said and got off of the ship, "Greetings my family! I would like for you all to meet my fiancé Robin!" she hugged him. He stood there in shock. Everyone looked at Robin, crickets chirped, "and his legal guardian Batman!"
"Welcome to Tamaran," Galfore said, "at first we were unhappy about this marriage but hey, now Robin is family, we have to like him… ok we pretend to like him."
"Um... Robin said Tamaraneans like mustard so I brought you-" Batman held up some mustard, their eyes all began to glow, "some…" Starfire's brother Nightfire grabbed the mustard, and then hell broke loose, the Tamaraneans now had their own fight cloud, "Is your family always like this?"
"No," Starfire said, "they can be much more entertaining than this!" then Starfire started cheering one of her cousins on, "Forrestfire, give him the chair!"
"My money's on that guy with the big build and a mace." Raven said.
"I call the girl with the war hammer." B.B said.
"Blackfire," Cyborg said, "Five bucks each?" B.B and Raven nodded.
About an hour later, turns out the winner was the one guy who waited on the side. After the mob had passed out he took the mustard out of some guys hand, put a straw in it and walked away drinking it.
"So who wins?" B.B asked.
"Uh… no one…" Raven said, "freaky. Must make another bet… or… will… go... crazy…"
"Quick we gotta make another bet or I'm gonna lose it!" Cyborg said.
"Fifty bucks says Robin uhhh… thinks about committing suicide at least once while we're here." All three of them gave sighs of relief.
A/N: For some reason I've seen Tamaranean culture as a clash between Scottish and ancient Nordic so that's what I'll be basing it on.
"Robin," Starfire said, "I must introduce you to my family!" she went to the pile that the mob had collapsed into and pulled out a few people, "You know Blackfire and Galfore, but you have not met my father or little brother, this is Nightfire," she was holding up Tamaranean guy with shoulder length red hair, a medium build, he was wearing one of those kilt thingies and he looked like he was either drunk or high. "You did not meet him the last time you were here because he and his friends were out conquering Gorgnox 23."
"Nice to meet you," Robin said he put out his hand to shake.
"Yo…" Nightfire collapsed.
"Battle has just made him weary." Starfire said, "He is fine."
"Are you sure? He doesn't look so good."
"He is fine. After I first introduced Tamaraneans to mustard it has been considered a rare delicacy."
"Are your kids gonna be like this?" Batman said aside to Robin. Robin glared at him.
Later, after everyone has regained their senses and is partying like crazy…
"So you're gonna be my new brother?" Nightfire asked.
"Yeah I guess." Robin said.
"You're marrying my sister?"
"Yes."
"So you must really like her then… "
"Um yes…"
"You've had dirty fantasies about her haven't you?" He gave Robin the death stare and pounded a fist into the palm of his hand.
"WHAT!"
"He's too lame to have fantasies." Beast Boy pointed out.
"Chill man," Nightfire said, "everyone has those, I won't kill you for it," Robin gave a sigh of relief; "I will kill you if you try anything on her or if you already have! And X'hal forbid you've actually done anything-"
"Eh…" Robin was really freaked.
"Chill, I'm joking, I won't kill you; I'll watch my friends draw and quarter you," he patted Robin on the back, "no worries man." Robin was really freaked, "I'm joking," pause, "don't try anything." He glared at Robin.
Meanwhile Galfore and Batman were talking
"Are you Robin's father?" Galfore asked.
"No I'm more of his legal guardian/step father, something like that," Batman said, "his parents died when he was small."
"Same thing with Starfire, her mother died in childbirth with Nightfire and her father is missing in action."
"Oh… so what's it like to be the grand ruler of Tamaran?"
"It has its pros and cons."
Silence.
More silence
Even more silence.
Way to much silence.
Silence.
Back to Robin and Nightfire…
"I bet you're one of those guys who has other secret families that Starfire doesn't know about! What if you're some wanted criminal back on earth! Is that why you're here?"
"I do not have other families and I'm on the good side!"
"Are you willing to swear that on top of The Bohfen?" he held up the Tamaranean Bible
"Yes!"
"Ok… good. You're cheating on her aren't you! You're cheating on her with that other girl whose here, or some girl on earth that we don't know about. My sister deserves better than that!" he prepared to shoot starbolts
"I wouldn't cheat on her in my wildest dreams." Nightfire's starbolts went down.
"You can't control your dreams. You have spoken a false truth… YOU DIE!" he was just about to shoot Robin, Robin was just about to fight back, when Starfire shot Nightfire with her starbolts.
Cut to B.B, Raven and Cyborg
"Um… which one is booze?" B.B asked.
"You expect me to know?" Raven said.
Cyborg picked up something that kinda looked like a cheese wheel in hotdog casing and ate it, "you gotta try this! Best thing I ever tasted!"
"Is it a veggie?" B.B asked. Cyborg shrugged. Raven decided to try one and thought it wasn't half bad. Then they made a bet on weather B.B would eat it or not, he wanted Cyborg to win so he took one bite. Raven smacked him over the head, then picked up another one of the things and started to eat it as they watched the fight progress…
"Little brother," Starfire said "you are to treat him with respect."
"His rank is lower than mine why should I?" Nightfire asked
"Because I am marrying him."
"You deserve better than him!"
"Well I am certainly more lucky than whoever shall become your wife."
Nightfire shot some starbolts at her, she shot back, they got into their own fight cloud. The family took sides and started cheering them on.
"STOP IT NOW!" Galfore said pulling the two apart, "No blood shall be shed in this hall."
Starfire and Nightfire both shrugged and said ok. Starfire started talking to Robin and Nightfire walked to where Raven, Cyborg and B.B were", Hey you're Starfire's friends right?" they nodded, "Hi I'm her brother Nightfire. What's up?"
"This stuff is awesome!" Cyborg said, "I was wondering what it was?'
"Oh this?" he picked one up "It's raxis, it's a boiled boerbern worm's stomach stuffed with the meat and any other oragans in there with zorka berries. It's the national dish of Tamaran-"
All three of them stared at him wide-eyed. Then ran to the bathroom to throw up. Nightfire shrugged and started to eat the raxis he was holding.
Later that day, Starfire dragged Raven and Robin to the royal family's official tailor/fashion designer.
"Greetings Yorjander!" Starfire said as she dragged Robin and Raven into the place, "My future husband needs a klorpa!" she stood Robin up
"Oh my X'hal!" Yorjander, the obviously gay designer said, "Whose been allowing him to be seen in public like this? This has got to go!" Raven smirked.
"I know my uniform sucks," Robin said, "Do you have to make such a big deal out of it?"
"I am also in need of a dress for my wedding." Starfire said, "And she will be my bride's maid." She held up Raven, who looked as miserable as hell, desperately wanting to kill someone at the same time.
After Raven's been in the fitting room for over an hour…
"Raven," Starfire said, "I must ask what have you been doing in there?"
"Contemplating suicide." She answered from behind the door, "I'm not wearing this dress."
"Please, come out so that we may see you!"
"No."
"Fine than I shall come in there and force you out." This is exactly what happened.
"Starfire," Raven said, "I agreed to be the maid of honor, I did not agree to this!" she was in a dress similar to Starfire's in betrothed only this one was made out of that shiny purple material with bright orange and green stripes.
"But you look wonderful Raven! And shall attract many Tamaranean boys and then you shall get married as well-" Raven then envisioned herself getting married to a happy perky hyper male version of Starfire and began twitching in fear. Then she thought about how annoying several demon-human-Tamaranean hybrids would be and fainted. "Robin!" she pounded on his door, "One would think you are a woman, you have spent so much time in there."
"Can I please not come out?" Robin said from behind the door
"It is a sign of weakness and shall not be appreciated by my family."
"Fine," Robin opened the door; he was in a purple kilt/more conservative version of a loin cloth, "do I have to wear this?"
"Yes! You look most wonderful! All of the other girls on Tamaran shall be most jealous when they learn that you are marrying me!" she started laughing evilly.
"Oh my X'hal he looks like a train wreck!" Yorjander said
"Thank you." Robin answered.
"His hair is much to short."
"What?" Robin's mouth dropped in disbelief.
"I don't know why I didn't realize it before, you," he said to Robin, "no more hair cuts and start lifting weights, you," he said to Raven, "look wonderful just wake up and Starfire, you'll look perfect no matter what."
"Can I have my clothes back now?"
"Sorry it's in the furnace."
"WHAT!"
"It pained me to much to see anyone dressed that badly and to protect the eyes of the public; I'm giving you several casual klorpas for everyday wear."
"Thank you!" Starfire said, "That is most generously wonderful of you! Robin you will look wonderful." She hugged him, he started contemplating suicide.
Meanwhile on earth, at the Titans East…
Speedy walked into the main room, "Is Bumblebee here?"
"No," Aqualad said, "why?"
"Robin's getting married." Cut to a shot of Mas and Menos crying in front of their Starfire shrine.
"So"
"Beast Boy called, they're throwing him a surprise bachelor party!"
"I can't go."
"What the hell is wrong with you!"
"Aqualgirl will put my head on a pike and parade it around the city."
"You suck man."
On the ride back to earth…
"Tamaran is awesome!" Beast Boy said, "I asked mad girls for their numbers and they so gave them to be cuz I'm mad hot and then-"
Raven grabbed one of the papers, "Beast Boy," she said,
"What?"
"This is the universal rejection phone number." Raven took a few more of the papers and looked at them, "they're all the universal rejection number."
"You are so making that up!"
"Try me."
"Fine! I will! Twenty bucks says your wrong!"
"You're on."
B.B took out his comm. and dialed it, it started ringing and then a message started to play."Hello, you have reached the universal rejection hotline," this played in several other languages before English, "for Klingon, press one. For Tamaranean press two." Beast Boy was stunned, "For Vulcan press three. For Wookie press four. For Transylvanian press five. For Japanese press six. For Norwegian press seven. For Australian English press eight. For English English press nine. For ghetto American slang press ten."
"Finally!" B.B said and pressed ten.
"Da chick yo jus hit o' thinks yo o' crack!"
"But… I thought that was Robin."
"Pay up." Raven said. B.B paid her while Cyborg laughed.
"So Batman how do you find Tamaran?" Starfire asked, "Is it not the most glorious place that you have ever seen?"
"Um…" Batman said, "it was very interesting." Pause, "Do we have to go back anytime soon?"
"For the wedding!" Starfire said with hearts floating around her.
"Hey Robin," Cyborg said, "nice man-skirt."
"It's not a skirt," Robin said holding in his anger, "it is a klorpa and the only men who don't wear them are losers who are afraid to join the military."
"Beast Boy," Starfire said, "perhaps you would not get as many of the rejection numbers if you were to wear one."
"No way man," B.B said, then he imagined himself as Braveheart kicking all of that arse, "actually… sure!" Cyborg, Robin, Raven and Batman all looked at Beast Boy popeyed as he took a klorpa from Starfire and walked into the back room to change. He came out, their eyes widened even more, "That's right if Beast Boy Wallace were here he'd consume the New Fu with fire balls from his eyes and bolts of lightning from his arse!" some bagpipes started playing in the background, "These things are awesome! They're all breezy! I'm never wearing pants again!"
"Are you insane?" Robin asked.
"Pants are for girls. Back home its hard to find a girl in a skirt, they all wear pants now so there's nothing left for guys except kilts and Braveheart wore a kilt and he kicked mad arse when they set the fields on fire and threw the rocks and at the Scottish games its always the built up guy in the kilt who can throw the big arse log the best and throw the big arse rocks the farthest and-"
"We get it."
"Cool! This is so my new uniform!" he started humming the Braveheart soundtrack and doing his very messed up version of the Highland Fling.
Raven, Robin and Cyborg smacked their foreheads.
A/N: Next chapter they make some more plans, Starfire has her bridal shower/bachelorette party and maybe I'll get to Robin's bachelor party, not sure yet. Until then… KEEP SENDING YOUR LETTERS TO CARTOON NETWORK! Do not threaten them or send hate mail, they won't take your letter seriously. Be polite in your letter and tell them how much you love teen titans and why we need a musical, Halloween and Christmas/Chanukah special! It is cruel and unusual punishment to the viewers of any show to cancel it without a musical and a holiday special. I want to see Slade break out into song!