A/N: Sorry for the long update… I kinda went back into my Zelda phase and then got grounded for effing up a chem. test… damn moles and stupid balanced equations. Anyway, I'm kinda moving the bachelor/bachelorette parties to later considering that the wedding won't be for a while.
The ship was getting ready to land
"Our return gladdens me!" Starfire said.
"Yeah, I missed home." Robin said.
"I know what you really miss," Raven said, "you miss your junkie garden. You're afraid your precious drug babies are going to die." (A/N: In the beginning of "Transformation" Robin was watering flowers)
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"I've seen your poppies and morning glory and woad and hemp, there are ways you can get drugs from all of them."
"Raven, I just happen to like poppies and morning glory. It's illegal to grow hemp-"
"It's illegal to do a lot of things-" Robin smacked his forehead
"And those woad plants are yours!"
"I only use 'em to make dye. It's not my fault if you get high off of them on your own time."
"What do I have to do to convince you I'm not on drugs?"
"Not be on drugs."
"I'm not!"
"And Slade is making paper snowflakes with little kids in pre-k."
Cut to Slade…
"Hello children!" Slade said, "Today I'm going to show you how to make paper snowflakes… of death!" All of the kids cheered, "Damn prison work release program…"
Back to the titans…
Cyborg landed the ship.
The doors opened, Robin was going to run out and into the tower to change his clothing before anyone could see him but when they got off. However a mob of paparazzi was there.
"Oh hell…" Robin said as the cameras flashed. Starfire smiled and waved.
"Robin, why are you wearing a kilt?" a random reporter asked
Robin didn't answer. He used his pole thingy to jump over the crowd and run into the tower. Starfire took Cyborg and flew over the crowd. Raven cursed the reporters out in Icelandic before flying to the tower and Batman snuck to the Batmobile. Beast Boy wanted some publicity
"Have no fear! I'll answer all of your questions!" B.B said, "Robin's in a kilt, but on Tamaran it's called a klorpa, cuz he's getting married to Starfire."
"Beast Boy, you're wearing a kilt also." Another reporter said, "Are you getting married too?"
"Nope." B.B said to all of the reporters, "I'm single and this is for the ladies to enjoy! I will no longer be called Beast Boy but… Beast Boy Wallace!"
"In Braveheart they wore no undergarments, what about you?" another reporter asked.
"That's for me to know and you to find out." A reporter tried to lift up his B.B's klorpa, "GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PERVERTS!" Another reporter tried to lift up B.B's klorpa, "I WILL GO POSTAL ON YOU!"
"Is it true that you and Raven are dating?"
"No."
"Raven and Cyborg?"
"No."
"Raven and Kid Flash?"
"Comics yes, cartoon no."
"Raven and Slade."?
"No… he's like sixty!"
"Raven and Jericho?"
"Comics sorta, cartoon no."
"Raven and Aqualad?"
"He's engaged to Aquagirl. No."
"Raven and Speedy?"
"No, weird as it is he's seeing Chesrie… in the comics anyway."
"Raven and Robin."
"I just said he's marrying Starfire."
"That doesn't mean he can't cheat."
"He's not!"
"Raven and Mas?"
"No."
"Raven and Menos?"
"No."
"Raven and waffles?"
"Actually it could be possible…" The press went nuts and started coming up with stories.
"Starfire and Raven?"
"Dude! She's marrying Robin!"
"Which one?"
"Starfire."
"It could be a cover up."
"It's not, she's straight."
Meanwhile…
"Where's Beast Boy?" Raven asked.
"Entertaining the press," Cyborg said and pointed out the window, "again."
Raven picked up a baseball bat, "Let's go get him."
After they've gotten B.B inside…
"Beast Boy," Robin said, "how many times do we have to tell you? No talking to the press!"
"The ladies deserve to see my new look!" B.B said, "and it wasn't like I said anything important."
"How much did you tell them?"
"I said that you and Star were getting married and the rest of us are single."
"That's all they need to twist it into something else!"
The Next Day…
"Beast Boy, you're responsible for this aren't you?" Cyborg held up a tabloid with a love decagon on the cover.
"But I said only certain people were dating!" B.B said, Cyborg whacked him over the head with the tabloid.
"And the small article about how I molested an underage waffle?" Raven asked.
"Actually there is reasonable evidence behind that one." Raven gave B.B the death stare, then started twisting up the tabloid into a noose. Before B.B could ask her what she was doing it was around his neck. Robin walked in.
"Guys, stop-" Robin said only to be cut off when Raven shoved an article in his face about how he lost his virginity and ability to reproduce to an electrical socket, Robin was now also helping Raven strangle Beast Boy.
Later…
"Robin," Starfire said, "so far I have taught you proper Tamaranean etiquette, you have your formal clothing and my family has met Batman. Now you must study for the citizenship test," she held up Tamaranean DDR.
"Star?"
"Yes."
"That's DDR."
"I know, this is our new citizenship test. If you defeat the hardest level of the song of your choice you will be made a citizen."
"Ok… but shouldn't I be taking a written test or something."
"You could, but it must be a five hundred page essay in grammatically correct Tamaranean. They only grade them when they feel like it. You will earn more respect through DDR."
"COOL! TAMARANEAN DDR!" B.B said when he walked in and saw Starfire hold up the game. He took it, put it in the Game Cube and started playing. "Come on Robin, vs. me!"
"I'm not that good-" Robin said.
"But you must pass and this would be a good opportunity to practice." Starfire said. Robin sighed and walked over to the mat.
Meanwhile
Raven's comm. rang, "Hello."
"Hey Raven," Jinx said, "wanna throw a shower for Starfire?"
"Uh…"
--flash back-- Blackfire's bridal shower, Raven has been dragged there by Starfire
Raven: This seems normal.
Starfire: See I informed you there was nothing to fear.
Raven: Yeah I guess it'll be fine-
Random guy: ((walks in the door and jumps on a table)) STRIPPER'S HERE! (starts taking off his belt)
Raven: Oh hell…
Starfire: I did not know this would happen. (pause) But I am most glad it did!
Raven: (starts banging head on table)
Starfire: You do not wish to see the man remove his clothing?
Raven: I'm more into scrawny goth guys with a reasonable amount of intelligence
The music stops and everyone stares at her
Raven: What?
Cut to Raven being kicked out of the party
Random girl: AND STAY OUT!
--end flashback--
"So do you wanna throw her a shower?"
"And it would be rated?"
Jinx shrugged, "How many strippers does she want?"
"…"
Meanwhile….
Robin and B.B are DDRing (A/N: If that's not a verb it should be). Robin is doing it on easy and B.B is doing it on super hard, so, while B.B was dancing like a psychopath who's raided a chocolate factory, cursing under his breath every time he misses an arrow, Robin was barely tapping the arrows, having no to little idea when he missed one. If you've ever seen this in real life it's actually pretty funny. B.B won. Nightfire crashed in through the window.
"Hey Beast Boy," he said, "nice klorpa."
"Thanks." B.B said.
"Robin," his tone was no longer friendly, "It has just occurred to me that you have been LIVING with my sister." (A/N: Yep, he just figured this out now)
"We have separate bedrooms with locks, besides Robin's a wuss."
"I remain unpleased. I will stay here to protect my sister until the marriage has taken place." He gave Robin the death stare.
"Cool! Wanna play DDR? I just unlocked a new song!"
"Sure, after I deal with bird boy," he said nicely to Beast Boy, then he glared evilly at Robin and said, "if you try anything I will prevent you from having children."
"What the hell!" Robin said, "I respect your sister and-"
"Like I said he's a wuss." B.B said. Robin glared at him.
"Why are you doing this?"
Nightfire didn't answer, just glared evilly at him and then started playing DDR with Beast Boy. Robin walked away. Raven and Cyborg placed bets on who'd win. Beast Boy and Nightfire were both doing the hardest song at the hardest level. The battle ended when Nightfire created so much friction that he set the mat on fire.
"Scheiße!" Nightfire said as he started to stamp it out.
"Aww man that mat was 20 bucks!" B.B said.
"I'm sorry; I forgot to mention that my people tend to get a bit worked up over this game. We've invented indestructible mats; I'll get you one to make up for this."
"Speaking of 20 bucks…" Cyborg said with an evil grin. Raven took out her wallet
"Hey," Raven said, "this doesn't count," she put her wallet back into her cape, Cyborg's grin faded, "if he had the Tamaranean mats he would've won."
"Well you never called it so I win."
"You do not, they're having a rematch with the Tamaranean mats."
"No they're not."
"Yes they are, right guys?"
"Sure I guess." Nightfire said.
"See they are having a rematch."
"Fine," Cyborg said, "but that still doesn't change the fact that B.B's gonna win."
"Sure… Starfire told me DDR is a rite of passage on Tamaran. You really think a native's gonna lose to Beast Boy?"
"You're just pissed cuz you know B.B's score was higher!"
"Whatever," Raven got up, "wait a minute… Where's Robin! I bet he's shooting heroine as we speak!" then she saw one of those shiny novelty pens on the floor, picked it up and looked at it, "And so I've found his joint pipe…hehehe" she started laughing evilly.
"Raven," Beast Boy said, "That's a pen."
"That's just what he wants you to think! No one ruins my moment of glory!"
"I agree with Raven," Nightfire said, "Robin is on drugs yet another reason to keep him away from my sister."
"I think we could help each other out with this."
"Good idea."
A/N: That's it for this chapter! Next chapter… Robin takes the citizenship test… Muhahaha. Also if "Things Change" hasn't pissed you off enough to send a letter to CN, I have no idea what will. Make sure to tell them that you felt a part of yourself die and that we want Slade damnit! Here's a bonus to make up for the long arse update! The following is based on a dream I had.
I was at home playing piano, then it just stopped, a commercial went on in my head. Yes, my dream was interrupted by a commercial break go figure, this was it.
Robin was walking down a street in what kinda looked like the city where the kids from hey arnold lived, it could've been any borough of NY. He was wearing street clothes, then he screamed "trouble", everyone on the street looked at him like he was on crack, and he flew (don't ask how) to the top floor of one of those three or four story apartments, crashed through the window and fell flat on his face.
Beast Boy: (in southern belle, gone with the wind type dress) DUDE YOU'RE LATE!
Robin: (now in GWTW dress) Sorry.
Starfire: (also in GWTW dress) are you now ready?
Cyborg, Beast Boy, Robin and Count Chocula(sp?): (yes, all in drag) YES!
They get into some pose and wave around boxes of chips ahoy
Director: CUT! Excellent work!
Raven: This is what's its come to? I've been replaced with some crack head from a cereal box! How come I wasn't in the commercial?
Beast Boy: (glaring at her) You wouldn't wear the dress!
They all shook their heads in shame at Raven. I started to play the piano again. Then I woke up.
A/N: Thanks to all of the kick ass people who reviewed!
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