A/N: Once again… sorry for the long ass update. I choose to blame it on that stupid should be burned in hell Pan-Slavism essay…
"Have you tried searching his room for drugs?" Nightfire asked.
"Actually… I haven't." Raven said, "He must be hiding his crack in there. Only problem is how to get in."
Cut to Robin's door.
Nightfire and Raven blast it open. Raven opened the closet and was shocked (ok she knew it was coming) at what she found… novocain… lots and lots of novocain. Behind that was a load of laughing gas.
"You have got to be kidding me." Nightfire said, "My sister is marrying one who can not endure pain, forcing himself to use these!" pause, "They'll never permit this," pause, "Wonderful!"
"So he is addicted to narcotics." Raven took out a camera and started taking pictures so she could prove to the world that Robin was on drugs.
Cut to Beast Boy, who happens to be Robin's DDR coach…
"Robin!" B.B said, "When two arrows pop up like that it means you have to jump like this!" he demonstrated, "It's really not that hard. Do you want me to slow down the speed of the song for you?"
"No I have to it this fast so I can marry Starfire," he said, "I'll practice it this fast."
"But you die three bars into the song. And the arrows don't start until the third bar. You should let me slow down the speed so you can get better at it."
Robin wasn't listening, just failing miserably at DDR after the song ended he said, "Fine you can lower it… but by one speed level only."
"Finally," B.B lowered the speed, "when do you plan on paying me?"
"What!"
"I can't give you these lessons for free. I mean I could be playing Final Fantasy now but out of the kindness in my heart I'm teaching you how to DDR."
"Ok, you get to find me a best man."
"I meant in cash or video games. Cash is preferred."
Cut to Nightfire and Raven…
"Should we confront him first?" Raven asked, "Or inform the public and let him find out that way?"
"We should act like we know something he doesn't. It will drive him insane. He'll have to confess that way no one will think the drugs were planted here."
"It's too late for that; he already knows we know he's on drugs. You could use it as an excuse to kick his ass if you ever get seriously pissed at him." She handed him some polaroids.
"Thanks."
Starfire walked in, "Nightfire, the radical leader of the Gorgnox 23 nationalist group is on the phone for you."
"Idiots keep making stupid threats for their stupid independence…" Nightfire mumbled as he took the phone from Starfire's hand and walked out.
"Raven, may I inquire as to what you were doing with my brother in Robin's room?"
"What do you think?"
"Robin is not on drugs and you shall not prove it because you cannot prove something when it is not true!" Starfire pulled Raven out of Robin's room. Raven grinned evilly now that she had proof, "You have corrupted my bother as well haven't you?"
"No, he just wants you as far away from Robin as possible."
Cut to Nightfire…
"Katgane" Nightfire said, "I refuse to make any compromises with you until I have spoken with my advisors and that's final!" he turned off the phone.
"Nightfire," Starfire asked, "Why is it that you have treated all of my friends except Robin with kindness?"
"He is inferior. I can accept you being friends, I can even accept you loving each other as siblings do, I can not accept your marriage! He requires pain killers when getting his teeth drilled, he is weaker than you, he has no powers, just abnormally hideous clothing and a stick!"
"He is a martial arts expert and has a reasonable amount of intelligence. I believe his intelligence is higher than yours."
"I am sure any of my friends would be more than happy to-"
"You will not set me up with one of your friends. I am marrying Robin! What is so wrong about that!"
"One, you are of a different species! Two, he is not royalty! Three, what do think our parents would feel if they were still here?" This was the spark that caused Starfire to explode on her brother. Her mom died in childbirth with Nightfire and Nightfire never met his father, Starfire hardly remembered either of them. She went crazy. Nightfire went crazy back.
"Twenty on Star," Raven said, "older sibling advantage."
"Twenty on Nightfire," B.B said, "Y chromosome advantage" Raven smacked him over the head, "Hey! Fine… more muscle mass advantage."
"Twenty says it ends with both of them KOed" Cyborg said.
"They're fighting because of me, aren't they?" Robin asked.
"Yup." B.B said.
"What do you plan on telling the insurance company?" Raven said, "I don't believe they cover sibling rivalries as a natural disaster. If our rates go up I'm not paying."
Cyborg, B.B and Raven all glared evilly at Robin. Robin smacked his forehead. Nightfire had Starfire in a headlock, Starfire elbowed him in the groin, she broke free and started shooting starbolts at him, he shot back at her. The microwave dinged, B.B got the popcorn. Cyborg took out a video camera and began to film them. Nightfire grabbed a lamp, Starfire grabbed a toaster oven, they whacked each other with their weapons of choice. Robin attempted to mediate; he was only hit in the crossfire. Starfire grabbed her brother, turned him upside-down and jammed his head into the floor, making a huge dent. Then Nightfire used his feet to grab her neck and fling her into the wall, he started shooting starbolts, she shot back. When Starfire got close enough to Nightfire she kicked him in the crotch, he smacked her over the head, then she kicked his shins, he started shooting starbolts, she shot back, then she started laughing, he started laughing, they both fell on the floor laughing. (A/N: I cannot tell you how many fights (violent ones) between my sister and me end like this.)
"What were we fighting over again?" Nightfire said smiling.
"I don't know." Starfire said. They paused for a minute and then started laughing again.
"W T F ?" Raven, Robin and B.B thought. Cyborg was just happy he had killer fight footage to put on the internet. Starfire and Nightfire had stopped laughing by now.
"Starfire," Nightfire said, "remember when we were small and used to play pjah?"
"Yes!" Starfire said excitedly, "I love that game! Let us play it now!" Starfire grabbed two frying pans and gave one to her brother. They flew out side and started whacking a starbolt around kinda like tennis only they were also pretending to be characters from a Tamaranean kid show they used to watch about evil aliens forcing innocent Tamaraneans to buy phone books. The other titans were watching in shock.
"Robin," Raven said, "you gave them some of your drugs didn't you! I bet ecstasy is running through their systems like crazy!"
"I'm not on drugs!" Robin said.
"And Slade is starring in a production of Jesus Christ Superstar."
Cut to Slade… several moths ago…
"I'm auditioning for the part of Judas Iscariot," Slade said to the casting people, then he began to sing "My mind is clearer now. At last all too well I can see where we all soon will be. If you strip away the myth from the man, you will see where we all soon will be, Jesus! You started -"
"King Herod." The casting guy said.
"What do you mean King Herod?"
"We think you're better suited to play Herod."
"Can I sing Damned for All Time for you? You didn't even let me go into my operatic rock voice!"
"No. You're Herod."
"Herod only has one stupid song! Judas has the best songs!"
"You know we could always make you an extra." Moment of silence, "I have the music for Hosanna right here-"
"Alright, you win this time but next season… um what play are we doing?"
"Hair."
"Next season, mark my words, I will play Berger!" he took his sheet music and walked away muttering every curse word known to man and several known to waffles, "Well Herod's song is pretty catchy," he thought to himself, "who am I kidding… damn prison work release program preventing me from getting the good parts."
Back to the titans…
"Actually…" Robin said, "we haven't heard from Slade in a while. He got five years for wafflenapping and should be out now. I should look him up-"
"Oh no," B.B said, "someone has a DDR battle tomorrow. You have to have DDR passion burn in your soul, right now its not burning. If you plan to win you have to live the game, you're not living it! You have to embrace DDR, you have to study DDR, you have to date DDR, you have to love DDR, you have to eat, you have to get past first base with DDR, you have to drink DDR, you have to breathe DDR, you have to have DDR flow through your veins, you have to live DDR, you have to BE DDR-"
"And Raven thinks I'm on drugs."
"And that you've recently corrupted Beast Boy," Raven said.
"DDR is no laughing matter," B.B said, "come with me. By tonight you will feel the passion for DDR burn in your soul and you will win that competition!"
The Next Day on Tamaran…
"Congratulations Robin," the judge said, "you are now a citizen. You passed by ten points but that's good enough." He gave Robin a certificate. B.B shook his head in shame at Robin, seeing that Robin did not truly have the love for DDR that he should have.
"He masked his steroids with Advil." Raven muttered. Later that day Robin swore loyalty to Galfore and all of Tamaran in the little Tamaranean Starfire taught him.
"Good," Galfore said, "sign this." He handed Robin a paper.
"Uh… Star?" Robin asked her to translate, she explained that in the extremely (yeah right…) unlikely event that they were to get divorced, she got everything. It was required of any non-noble who was marrying into the royal family. He signed it.
In the meantime, they've sent out invitations, booked a catering hall, found a wedding singer and booked their honeymoon. Jinx called Raven again about Starfire's party. Raven BSed about Starfire wanting to bring Silkie, meaning they'd have to have it somewhere rated PG, so they decided to have it at a club where people kept their clothing on. Beast Boy on the other hand was in charge of throwing Robin's party…
Cut to Chuck E Cheeses the night before the wedding…
Beast Boy is doing a victory dance, he just kicked major ass at ski ball. Wilderbeast, Hot Spot, Mas, Menos, Cyborg, Red Star, Killowat, Gnark, Kid Flash and Speedy (especially Speedy) are giving Beast Boy the death stare… they wanted a stripper. Nightfire was kind of pissed, he wanted an excuse to kick Robin's ass. (He was saving the laughing gas one for later) Robin was happy because Nightfire didn't have an excuse to kick his ass. Jericho couldn't make it; he was the lead guitarist in a production of Jesus Christ Superstar to Slade's dismay.
"Beast Boy," Speedy tapped him on the shoulder, "we need to talk."
"One minute," B.B said, "ski ball-" Speedy pulled him away, "What'd you do that for!"
"This is Robin's last night as a single guy."
"Duh, he's getting married tomorrow."
"Don't you think he's entitled to a stripper?"
"We have a can of paint stripper at the tower. He can have it."
"That's not the kind of stripper I was talking about."
"Oh…" pause, "Why do you wanna go there? They don't have ski ball at the nudie bar! They suck!"
Speedy smacked his forehead. "Why don't we ask Robin if he wants to go?"
"Ok, but nothing beats the power of ski ball." Beast Boy made some weird ninja moves.
"You seriously need to ditch the man skirt."
"It's a klorpa and hot alien babes and a few Earth ones think I'm the sexiest thing alive in it!" Speedy ignored this.
"Hey Robin," Speedy called him over, Nightfire followed, "wanna head to the nudie bar?"
Robin was about to answer, Nightfire began to edge him on, "Nightfire," Robin asked, "is this some kind of a trick?"
"No," Nightfire said with an evil grin, "I'm simply testing your faith."
Robin looked down in shame; he realized Starfire would be extremely pissed at both of them if they got into a fight. He just wanted to get the crap over with, get married and get away from the nut jobs surrounding him. Then he looked at the ski ball set ups, "They don't have ski ball at the nudie bar." Robin would come to regret this choice in a number of years.
"YES!" Beast Boy said, doing the happy dance, "ski ball conquers again! In your face Speedy! Go ski ball! Go ski ball!" Speedy smacked him over the head, "You call that a smack? Raven can hit me harder than that," Speedy hit him again, "Ow! Ok," he started rubbing his head, "you can hit at the same level as Raven if you want to…" he rubbed his head some more, "stupid waffle molester," he muttered under his breath.
A/N: That's it for now… next update, Starfire has her party, the wedding and then… the reception. To make up for the long update, I've decided to list a few of my little sister's theories about the titans. During the summer I might post the songs she wrote to go with them.
1. Why Starfire is always so perky and happy - she has a disease.
2. Why Raven is all sad - she got hit in the head with a basketball at age 7 and her best friend, who was a carpenter bee, died.
3. Why Beast Boy is green - he had a lot of nightmares at a young age about a fairy princess turning him green. Then one day it happened.
4. Why Cyborg is partially a robot - He went to Meaty-Meat one day and ate a burger; the sprit of the dead cow got mad and caused all of him to get infected. Then he went to the hospital and they had to replace most of his body with robotic parts.
--drum roll--
5. Why Robin is I dunno… this just explains everything - He was born a girl. He changed into a boy overnight and is very sad about it.
A/N: And now time for thank yous for the kick ass people who reviewed.
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