Take away the jealousy we all share
Looking at her, down in the first row.
It's like the trombones are treated unfair
We can't take injustice anymore.
Drain the rests from her sheet music
Test her, force her, make her prove it
Make her play out her chops
That will make us feel tops
Tell her, (insert "director" the last time) "You do not do a thing".
Just make the oboe play.
Out of practice, out of marching,
Cast the demon out of the band!
She doesn't play, and that is not alright.
The director says it's actually fair,
But it's not. Hear our cry!
(Repeat verses as needed.)