A/N: Ha ha ha, and before you ask, no, I'm not taking any sort of medications. One day I was telling one of my best friends, Kaitlyn, about fanfiction, and she was like 'We should so do that'. So we started this on a piece of graph paper that math class. It was so much fun and we don't care if it doesn't make sense. Enjoy it!
Greg walked into work whistling show-tunes under his breath. He was in the DNA lab when he realized he had forgotten his gloves. So he said "Shoot!"
"Shoot who?" Nick asked, looking up from the microscope he was doing CSI-ish-y stuff under.
Greg's ears turned red with embarrassment. "Owwee!" He exclaimed as lava rained down from the ceiling onto his un-protected hands.
"Wait a minute – lava raining down from the ceiling?" Nick exclaimed and asked at the same time.
"Lava? Where?" A random lab-tech asked, looking at the CSI's in confusion.
"It's dripping from the ceiling!" Greg said, pointing at the roof.
"There's no lava. I think you must be hallucinating." Said the techie.
"Uh-oh, I've heard of this before. Only the chosen one's can see lava that drips from the ceiling!" Nick exclaimed in a shocked southern drawl.
"Chosen ones?" Greg asked, confused, as usual.
"Yes, the chosen ones." Said Nick somberly.
"We are chosen to watch lava drip from the ceiling?" Greg asked, still very,very confused.
"He he he, chosen ones." Laughed Sara, walking into the room. "Why is there lava dripping from the ceiling?" She asked, momentarily stunned at the sight.
"Gasp! She's a chosen one too!" Exclaimed Nick.
"Huh?" Sara said, staring at Nick.
After Nick had explained everything to Sara, the lab-tech started complaining. "I wanna be chosen too! Why aren't I chosen!"
"Because you're not kewl." Said Sara, laughing at the techie.
Then Catherine walked in. "Sara, are you laughing at the lab-techs again? I thought I told you not to!" She scolded.
"Me? I was just giving Greg the spit we found at that crime scene." Sara said quickly.
"It's true." Said Nick and Greg in sync.
"Ok, fine. But why are you staring at the ceiling?" Catherine asked over Greg's fresh screams of agony as more lava burnt his un-gloved hands. "And why is Greg screaming like a girl? It's annoying!" She added.
"Oh, it's because molten rock's falling from the ceiling. Can't you see it?" Asked Nick, shocked.
When Catherine shook her head no, looking at her co-workers like they were crazy, they all gasped and the un-chosen lab-tech gave her a high-five.
"Am I missing something here?" asked Catherine.
"You must not be a chosen one. If you were, you would be able to see all the lava dripping from the ceiling and burning Greggo's hands." Nick said matter-of-factly.
"Are you teasing Greg again?" Catherine asked.
"Oh no! It's true!" Sara said, trying not to laugh.
"Guys – this isn't funny! My hands are really hot!" Greg whined.
"You're hot all over." Sara muttered sub-consciously under her breath so that no one would hear her.
"What did you say?" Asked Nick.
"'I said… umm… we should… umm.." Sara said, trying to think of something fast.
"I think we should get a bandage for my hands!" Greg screamed. Catherine's swing-shift-supervisor instincts took over and she ran around looking for bandages.
Then Warrick came in. "Are you guys looking for bandages?"
"Ya – Greg's being a wimp just 'cause he got a little bit of lava on his hands." Sara said with a snort of laughter.
"You only tease me 'cause you luuuuuuuuuvvvvrrrrrre me!" Greg accused self-righteously, making Sara blush a deep crimson.
"Well whatever, here Greg. Maybe next time you should wear gloves." Warrick said, handing over the bandages.
"Can you see the lava too?" The random techie asked.
"No, it's Greg. Why believe Greg? I'm just playing along so he doesn't throw a hissy fit." Warrick responded with a shrug, earning viscious glares from the chosen ones, which he didn't notice.
"No, it's true!" Greg said, trying to wrap bandages around his hands.
"Are you sure?" Warrick asked.
" Yes – I'm sure! Nick, Sara! Back me up!" Greg whined, succeed in wrapping his bandages around his neck.
"He's not lying." Nick and Sara said reluctantly in robot-like unison.
"Okay." Warrick said and left the room.
"Right, about that spit." Sara said, handing the bottle to Greg.
Greg was too busy trying to un-strangle himself and wrap up his hands that he couldn't take the spit sample. "Hello? I'm a little busy here!"
Just then Catherine walked back in with bandages. "Do you still need these?" She asked.
"I need help." Greg said, starting to get mad at everybody. Instead of taking sympathy on the poor creature, they all laughed, as they so often do.
"We know you do, Greggo." Nick exclaimed cheerfully between burst of laughter.
"Don't call me Greggo!"
"What's going on in here?" Grissom asked, walking into the room.
"I need helllllllllllp!" Greg whined.
"Well don't just stand there, help him." Grissom told his crew as he shuffled some papers and walked out of the room.
"I guess he's not a chosen one." Sara said sadly.
"I NEED HELP!"
"Fine – I'll do the spit." Said Sara, glaring evily at Greg.
"And I will do nothing." Added Nick.
"That's not what I need help with! HELP ME!"
"What do you need help with, oh mighty Mr. Sanders?" An over-zelous lab-tech named Kate who has the major hots for Greg asked eagerly.
"My hands!" Greg screamed. As Kate was helping Greg with his bandages and receiving his praises, Sara was being very jealous and upset.
"Why didn't I think of that?" She asked Nick with a large frown.
"Hey, no body's perfect." Nick said.
"Are your hands better now, Greg?" Kate asked sweetly.
"Umm, a little. But maybe Sara should kiss them to make them better." Greg said.
Kate threw a fit and walked away, stomping her feet, while the others chortled with laughter.
"Why are staring pointedly at me?" Sara asked Greg.
"I said 'Maybe Sara should kiss them to make them better'." Greg articulated as if he were talking to a deaf person.
"Greg, just do your work." Catherine said. "I'm heading back to the crime scene, Brass thinks he has a suspect."
"Bye Cath." Said Sara, finally starting to work on her spit.
"Why are you leaving me with these people? They are so mean to me!" Greg whined.
"Greg, you're a big boy now. If you need someone to save you, why don't you get Hodges to do it?" Catherine practically snarled back.
Greg was still staring at her, open-mouthed when she left.
Everybody except Greg in the lab found something to be doing. So Greg found a swively chair and started spinning around.
"If you throw up, you are so taking responsibility." Nick said warningly.
"The lava's getting annoying now." Greg said after a long pause.
"Nice observation, BurnBoy." Sara said with a laugh.
"Ha ha. Not funny." Greg deadpanned.
"This is really weird spit." Sara commented randomly. "There's grass and human flesh in it."
"Is it human?" A super-nerdy lab-tech named Bob asked.
"Umm… I dunno. Oh mighty Mr. Sanders, how do you test to see if spit is human?" Sara asked.
"Stop sucking up." Greg said, looking hurt.
"But I need help."
"So did I. But did you help me? No. So why should I help you?"
"Will bribing help?" Asked Sara hopefully.
"That depends. How big is the bribe?"
"A chocolate bar."
"I won't go for it." Greg said stubbornly.
"Fine." Sara replied just as stubbornly.
"But if you gave me a kiss, I might reconsider."
"Do you know how many loop-holes there are in that?" Bob asked, even though no one was listening.
"Done." Sara replied with a smirk.
"Sara and Greg up a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…" Nick and the original random techie started singing. But they stopped singing when Sara picked up a handful of the lava they hadn't noticed in a while and threw it at them.
Greg helped Sara with the spit stuff, and when the results printed out, Greg grabbed them before Sara could.
"You don't get them until I get my kiss." He smirked.
"Fine. Locker rooms, now." Greg followed Sara into the staff locker rooms and waited while she opened her locker and fished around inside.
"What are you doing?" Greg asked, afraid he wasn't going to get his kiss.
"You'll see." After more digging around in her locker, she found what she was looking for. A bag of Hershey's Kisses. She threw one at Greg with a smile. He frowned but ate the chocolate, knowing he had been out-smarted.
"The spit was from a cow." He said reluctantly.
"Thank you." Sara said, giving him another kiss, using her lips, square on his.
A/N: Ha! That was fun and stupid. Aren't you just dieing with anticipation for the next chapter, which is sitting on yet more graph paper in front of me, waiting to be typed. If you actually read the whole thing, you should leave a review, it would make pysco-kaitlyn's day.
Until next time, Dakotah and her partner in crime, Kaitlyn.