A Ranma ½ fan fiction…

Author – Chibi / Warlordess

Disclaimer – I don't own Ranma ½; it is a product by the great Rumiko Takahashi. I'm also not creative enough to make up a better disclaimer than that. How sad…

Notes – I have no idea how this idea came to me. I went from having no inspiration or confidence for R/A fan fiction to harboring this suddenly evolved plot that just popped out of nowhere. It was just, I could see this as something in the series, I guess. Those who've read the manga might not agree with me first off thanks to the summary I gave you, but it is a bit misleading, so you'll just have to find out why. Also, let it be known… I HATE THAT TITLE! DIE, TITLE!

Dedication – To my online sister, Silverflare07, who sent me the first through third seasons of the anime and who encouraged the creation and progress of this fic. She's the one who deserves it most of all.

OoO

Title - Herbal Remedies

Chapter Six - "Of Pigs, Scheming Fathers, and Love-Struck Baka!"

Summary - It started with Akane's losing her mind and telling Ranma that she loved him, and then it was his unwillingness to tell her he didn't feel the same way. . . But how did all of this madness start, and when? R x A romance. Kind of. :P

OoO

"Quick, get down! As far as anyone knows, I'm in here with my fiancé's strange excuse for a pet!"

As Ranma shoved Ryouga underwater, he could hear the overwhelmingly loud footsteps of some anonymous person rushing to the bath, shouting his name. Ryouga was struggling under his grip, but he was still managing to hold him down.

Suddenly the door swung open and Genma Saotome entered the bath, looking worn and terribly ghastly, "Ranma, come with me! It's--" Of course, it was at this point that Ryouga chose the opportune time to keep himself from drowning.

"Ranma!" He shouted furiously, coughing up excess water from his being forced under, "What the hell was that for? I'm gonna kill. . ." He, too, turned to face the pigtailed boy's suddenly silent father, "Er. . . H - how's it going. . . ?"

"My boy. . ." Genma sighed, pushing his glasses distractedly up the bridge of his nose.

"It - it's not. . . He's. . . P-chan is. . ." Ranma attempted to explain. Ryouga, meanwhile, had gone numb with the lack of excuses.

"My boy. . ." Genma started again, "is this. . . a cry for help?"

"N-nani. . . ?" Ranma started, completely oblivious as to where this was going.

"I mean, I know how you feel about all of those other women chasing you, but. . . what about Akane? How could you possibly turn her away? And for another boy? Oh, where did I go wrong?" Genma wailed, and Ranma felt his temple start pulsing with aggravation, "Do you truly crave to be all-woman so badly that you'd allow yourself to behave so foolishly? Oh, my boy. . . Onegai, is there something your Outo-san can do to change your mind?"

"Well, for starters. . ." Ranma began with a grin on his face, before it suddenly changed to a fierce scowl, "You can get your story right before you accuse me of something!" He shouted, "You know, for one thing, that I'd never cheat on my darling Akane! You know that I love her! I told you that I did! And I'd never--" He jumped high into the air and landed a kick to his fathers face, "--ever--", he wheeled around and punched him in the gut, "--hurt her in any way!" He dropped to his knees and swung his foot under his father's ankles, crippling him and sending him crashing to the ground. Then he stood up again and dusted his hands off while Ryouga, seemingly reacting to the noise yet still in a faraway place, began to mutter feeble retorts and excuses in a strangely high-pitched voice.

"G - good to. . . hear it. . ." Genma stated in a twitchy voice from his spot on the floor.

"Hai," Ranma agreed, securing the towel around his waist, "Now, what was it that you wanted?"

"Ah!" Genma replied, immediately recovering and reaching his feet, "That's right! Ranma, Akane's in trouble!"

"Nani?" The pigtailed boy shouted, looking mortified, before taking off and running from the room at breakneck speed.

"I heard her screaming from her bedroom a few seconds ago! She was screaming for you, Ranma!" The elder man continued, stretching his neck towards the hall so that his son could hear him; then he turned back to Ryouga, who still seemed to be off in a distant plane, and murmured, "Poor sap. . ." before leaving him there to follow in the direction of the youngest Tendo girl's room.

"Akane! Akane? A-kan-e!" Ranma shouted as he ran through the house in nothing but a bath towel. He saw her bedroom door up ahead and ran faster, knowing that the sooner he got there, the sooner he could be sure of what was wrong, "Akane. . . !" He shouted again, knowing it was no use, that she was probably too injured to answer him. . .

. . . It was a miraculous thing, therefore, that she just happened to open her bedroom door a second later, confused as to who was calling her name. Then her eyes widened as she saw Ranma making a beeline for her. Before she could do much of anything in reaction and before he could stop himself, he ended up running straight into her and sending both of them sailing across the threshold and into her room.

It took Ranma a few seconds to remove himself from Akane's torso, either because he couldn't or wouldn't pick himself up off of her. Of course, as soon as he did, he began to look her over for any bruises, cuts, swelling, etc. that she should have gotten, had she been in danger as his father had said. She seemed to be perfectly fine, however; she was still rather confused, and maybe just a bit horrified at the fact that he was almost completely naked, but other than that. . .

"Nani. . . ?" She croaked, her throat completely dry, "Why are you--? What are you--? Where is--?" She couldn't seem to breathe well enough to finish any of these sentences, "I don't. . . I can't. . ." Finally, she gulped and took a chance to catch her breath, "What are you. . . doing here. . . ? You baka-hentai!" She said, slapping him with, what felt like, every ounce of strength she contained.

Ranma recoiled and twisted around just in time to see his father give him a wink and a thumbs-up before shutting the door, blocking it with a series of nailed wooden boards, and then. . .

". . . If those sounds are what I think they are, I'd say my Outo-san is putting a boulder against the door. . ." Ranma said, trying to laugh it up as though it were all a part of some silly prank.

"Oh, no. . . You've gotta be kidding me. . . !" Akane moaned, moving forward and attempting to turn the doorknob, but it wouldn't budge in the least, "Saotome-san, if you don't let us out right now, I'll -- you don't even wanna know what I'll do!" She shouted in fury.

Ranma took a chance to tap her on the shoulder and she turned, ready to slap him again for touching her, but then she saw him pointing silently to her window and grinning confidently. She couldn't help but join him; but as she was currently planning on killing her fiancé's father upon their exit, she turned and tried to give him one last chance.

"Saotome-san! We plan on getting out of here sooner than you think! If you don't let us go willingly and we're forced to use our own means of escape, this won't be the end!" She waited for a few seconds and attempted to open the door again, but it still wouldn't move.

"We won't surrender until the two of you admit your feelings to each other and agree to our terms!" Genma said confidently from the other side.

"Hai! I agree!" Ranma said all-too willingly, raising his hand before turning to Akane, who ignored him.

"Nani? 'We'? 'Our'?" She thought for a moment, then growled, "Outo-san! How could you do this to your daughter? Anyway, we're not agreeing to anything! We want out of here now, or I'm going to do something we'll all regret! Besides, this isn't sensible!" Again, she tried to force the door open, but without much luck.

"Akane, you're being ridiculous, alright?" Soun's voice joined the lot, "You don't understand how simple it is to get us to open the door. . . All you have to do is tell Ranma how you already know you feel for him and we can go from there. This constant struggle with your own emotions is only hurting you, in any case. . . !"

Akane growled and readied her retort but Ranma quietly interrupted.

"C'mon; their plans are always half-baked. Let's just go out the window and you can beat the blood from their veins." He looked ready to please her in any way that he could, even if that meant not hearing what she had to say about him.

She simply nodded and the two quietly tiptoed to the window and Ranma drew the curtains and opened it wide. It would be an easy leap from the ledge to the tree about five feet away.

"I'll go first. . ." He said to her, jumping onto the windowsill. He took off, performing a miraculous leap. . . only to crash instantly into a plate of some form of blockage.

"Nani?" Akane said as Ranma collapsed at her feet.

"Wah hah hah!" Genma said from beyond the door, having obviously known what was going on, "One hundred percent sturdy flexi-plexi-glass! Unbreakable, unshatterable, and unbelievable! You two aren't going anywhere!" He and Soun broke out into annoyingly raucous laughter as Ranma shook off the impact he'd just felt and flinched.

"Ite. . ." He said, gripping his head, and Akane remembered that she was supposed to help him wrap the wounds he'd gained earlier that day, "Well, that was a bit painful. . ."

"Ano. . ." Akane murmured, backing away and sitting on her bed, throwing her quilt at him as he made himself comfortable on the floor, "Cover yourself up and relax; we're going to be here for awhile. . ."

"H - hai. . ." Ranma said, tenderly placing the blanket around his shoulders, ". . . How long do you think 'awhile' is going to be?"

Knowing that he was asking because of the pain from his many scratches and bruises, Akane sighed for perhaps the hundredth time that hour. She didn't want to have to cope with Ranma's annoyingly distracting behavior, and even though it would only make him spout even more senseless and entrancing quotes of love, she knew that she should do as she'd said and bandage him to his content.

"I'm going to regret this, but. . . in the second drawer of my desk, there's a small box with some antiseptic, aspirin, and gauze wrap. Can you hand it to me. . . ?"

Ranma nodded vigorously and hopped to his right, ripping open the said drawer and pulling out the only item of content, that being a small tin box with a large red addition sign in the center. On the front-side panel was a small tag, which read, 'From: Tofu-sensei, To: Tendo Akane'.

"Nani? Wait a minute. . ." Ranma frowned, promptly withdrawing the box from where Akane was about to grab hold of it, "This was from Tofu-sensei? Why do you have it still?"

"What's it to you? Now hand it over or I won't do a thing for you!" She was quick to lose her temper at the obviousness of Ranma's jealousy towards the doctor.

"It's something to me, clearly, otherwise I wouldn't care to ask! I mean, why are you harboring gifts from another man, let alone one that you've been known to feel affection for. . . ?" He gave a sudden gasp of horror and turned away, looking terrifyingly feminine, ". . . Don't tell me that you. . . you're having an affair. . . ?"

Grabbing a known weapon of choice, Akane turned to beat him over the head. Taken by surprise, he wasn't able to escape the first few impacts, and she succeeded in adding to his total amount of injuries.

"How can I. . . possibly be having an affair. . . when we're not. . . even married. . . ?" She shrieked, very red in the face, "You hentai! Hentai; hentai; hentai!"

Finally, he escaped her, leaping madly into the air, only to find that the folded knot of his towel wasn't as secure as he'd have thought. It began to fall around his knees and she screamed in fury and horror while he attempted to pull it back up.

"Ack! Gomen, gomen!" He tried to laugh it off as a minor occurrence, but Akane wasn't eager to accept that. She didn't even dare to look him in the face as he collapsed gracefully to the floor, sitting sturdy with the towel covering his waist area properly, "Well. . . that was. . . interesting. . ." He stated awkwardly and then, in an offhanded tone, "So, how about we get started on cleaning my cuts?"

"Do it yourself!" She yelled, throwing the tin box carelessly and hitting him directly in the face.

"Ano. . . hai. . ." And he opened the lid and set out to work.

However, ten minutes later, he'd succeeded only in wrapping one of his arms into a thick, elastic cocoon. Akane sighed exasperatedly at the sight of him flinging the said arm around. She was incapable when it came to any type of nursing, but even she had more ability than he was showing. . . Maybe all he needed was an extra pair of hands. . .

Resigning herself to the occupation, she called, "Alright, Ranma; you've convinced me that you're inept when it comes to taking care of yourself. Come over here. . ." Of course, in an effort to wrap a bruised ankle, he'd ended up tying his legs together. He stumbled to his feet, hopped a few times, fell roughly to the floor, and grinned embarrassedly at her. Rolling her eyes at him, she took a stand, "Fine, then; I'll come to you, baka."

She moved forward a few places and collapsed beside him, easily slapping a Band-Aid on his cheek before he could even blink.

"A - arigatou, Akane." He mumbled, for once agreeing to be quite sober, rather than so excited at the thought of her caring for him that she'd have to kill him.

"It's no problem. . ." She murmured now, noticing the content, calming atmosphere around them. It hit her just then that perhaps the barricades around the room weren't so devastating after all. . . It was true that they did trap her an Ranma inside. . . but they also kept everyone else out, dissuading them from constantly spying on the two sixteen year olds, "You tell anyone about this, though, and I'll kill you."

"No problem," Ranma grinned, "I know how to keep a secret. How do you think I've kept you from realizing how much I love you all this time?" The grin, if possible, widened, stretching to the space just short of his ears.

"Not now, baka." She stressed in reply, unwinding the bandages from his ankles and rewrapping them the best she could, "There; at least they're all on the right leg this time."

"Arigatou, again. . . You're the best at healing, no matter what the pain, did you know that. . . ?" He placed an awkward hand overtop hers, and she gave a low, almost shuddery, sigh, for once not inclined to remove his grip, "You make everything in me feel perfectly healthy and alive. . . And I'm not just talking about the physical afflictions. . ."

"Er. . . ano. . ." She finally pulled away, turning to look at anything but the thoroughly enchanting expression on his face. He only seemed to lean forward, as though under strict contract to keep eye contact with her, "Ranma, I. . ."

She what? She thought he was a nice guy, but that it would never work out? She thought he should hurry up and find a way out of the room they were trapped in before it became obvious just how much color was flushing her cheeks? She thought he should know that, though it was strange and painful and crazy, it was also enjoyable to be here alone with him like this. . . ?

It was very hard to believe but, yes, that was it. She hated the fact and she'd never admit it, especially to him, but this was oh-so natural and easy. . . and gratifying, really.

Of course, two seconds later, the moment was spoiled by a ringing shout, that elicited from a pervert, and one who was inclined to find comfort in the bosom of. . .

"Akane-chan!" Happosai hopped excitedly out of nowhere and attempted to grab onto any part of her that he could, but before he'd even gotten the chance, Ranma's elbow appeared suddenly, and impacted with the old man's backside, forcing him face-first into the ground.

"Ne, Jiji, how'd you get in here. . . ?" The pigtailed boy asked offhandedly, as though nothing had just happened. He loosened his grip and Happosai jumped to his tiny feet, looking very teary-eyed.

"Ite. . . why'd you have to hurt me? All I was trying to do was rescue my lovely Akane-chan from the foul clutches of my unlawful students. . ." He gave a very dramatic sigh, "I've got no idea where I went wrong with them. . ." He suddenly looked fierce, and, pointing at Ranma, "And you, Ranma, how could you remain alone in the same room as Akane-chan for this long without being a gentleman and coaxing her into--"

"--You hentai!" Akane interrupted in a growl, then she screamed angrily and sent her foot flying at the old man, kicking him so hard into the air that he ended up crashing though the supposedly indestructible flexi-plexi-glass that their parents had erected overtop her window. Still furious, she turned to Ranma, who looked innocently and blankly back at her.

"Way to go, Akane. . ." He pointed at the broken window, "We proved a flaw in one half of their plan. . . That must mean that," he got to his feet and walked to her door, opening it easily this time and finding a demolished boulder, many stray planks of wood, and their parents twitching horribly on the floor, ". . . Jiji-hentai came through here. C'mon, Akane--" He turned to escort her from the room, but she wasn't there.

Turning back to the hallway, he saw her stomping on both older men angrily.

"You baka! Look what you did to us! How could you be so stupid?" After she was finished, she caught her breath, turning to face her fiancé, who was staring avidly at her, "Nani? They deserved it. . ." She sniffed angrily.

"Iie, iie. . . I agree completely. . ." He said, grinning dopily at her, looking thoroughly pleased with her reaction to the situation, "You've always been at your best when you're kicking someone's ass, even if it's mine a lot of the time."

"Go get dressed," she said to him, glaring down at the two men unconscious on the floor, "And you two are just lucky that Happosai got here first and I pity you for that." And she turned on her heel and walked towards the living area.

Ranma saluted her and then skipped in the opposite direction, towards his bedroom for a change of clothes. Not wanting to risk spending anytime away from his fiancé, he threw on his regular attire and rushed back to the eating / living room to find Akane with a plate of already half-eaten food in front of her.

"Ah, you're still. . . upset?" He asked stupidly.

"No, not - at - all!" She replied, stuffing a spicy shrimp down her throat with each word. Angrily it seemed, and now overcome with pain on her taste buds, she threw back half a glass of green tea.

In the middle of watching a television show, Kasumi turned with a pleased and oblivious smile, and refilled the younger girl's glass.

"My, you've got such a healthy and fulfilling appetite tonight, Akane. . ." Kasumi said as she did so.

Ranma took a seat next to the female martial artist and Kasumi handed him a plate before turning back to the television, murmuring something that sounded a lot like, "I wonder where Outo-san and Saotome-san are?"

"Er. . . busy." Ranma excused their absence, "Where's Nibiki? And what's that you're watching. . . ?" He continued offhandedly, starting on his own supper.

"Oh, well, Nibiki left about ten minutes ago. She said something about a. . . business transaction? And this is a very interesting documentary on ancient Chinese civilizations. I think they've mentioned Amazon's--" At this, Akane interrupted by loudly slamming her empty drinking glass on the table and reaching her feet, "Daijobou ka, Aka--"

"--I'm fine. . . I'm just going to go to my room now. I've got homework, and I'm pretty tired as it is. Oyasumi, minna-san." She waved, leaving the two family members to themselves.

"Ah, wait! I'll come with you, my kawaii fiancé!" Ranma replied, standing up with a freakishly wide grin on his face and following after her with a very distinct simper.

"Ranma, go back and finish your dinner!" Akane yelled, attempting to edge around him.

"I'm finished! I'm always filled completely, just by looking into your sparkling chocolate eyes! Quench my sweet-tooth, Akane!" He yelled affectionately, jumping at her with his arms held wide. She screamed and threw out her hands to hold him at bay, but someone else got there first.

". . . Ryouga-kun. . . ?" Akane had just enough time to question as the sensitive, yet still sane, martial artist's foot impacted with Ranma's ribcage, and both boys went crashing through the wall and back into the main room, "Ah! Iie, come back here, you two!" She shouted, following after them.

"Don't interfere, Akane-chan! Ranma and I are in the middle of a man-to-man disagreement that has nothing to do with you!" Ryouga said confidently, picking the pigtailed boy up off of the ground by the collar of his shirt and flinging him outside and into the backyard, "Now. . . fight me, Ranma!"

Ranma, in mid-fall, flipped over so that his feet were below him. He landed smoothly and help up his fists in a fighting stance, his formerly flirty and love-struck expression morphing into something both competitive and hostile.

"Nani, Ryouga, what is it you want now? We were busy," after this slight pout, he seemed to lose any understanding of distraction, "Well, whatever; the sooner I get rid of you, the sooner it'll be just me and Akane again!" He turned and winked at her before putting on a burst of speed and running straight at Ryouga, "Katchuu Tenshin Amaguriken!"

The series of punches claimed the eternally lost boy's torso and he skidded backwards, clutching his stomach with one hand and holding himself up in a sturdy kneeling position with the other. Wiping at his brow, he reached his feet again and, rather than going on a rant about Ranma's lack of care for Akane, or rather than impeding forward and taking the offensive route, he turned on his heel and leapt up onto the wall.

"Catch me if you can, Ranma! We'll finish this when you do!" He smirked before jumping down onto the area on the opposite side and taking off down the road towards the park.

"Heh; simple. . ." Ranma replied and quickly followed.

"Matte, Ranma, Ryouga-kun!" Akane yelled, taking a step forward, but then she remembered Ryouga's words, those that justified the two boys' disappearances, and she faltered, "I'll give them a half-an-hour. . . If they're not back by then, I'll go looking for them. . ."

OoO

Notes - Yay! Another chapter posted! Now, unfortunately, I've got some bad news. . . I've told you all before that I've had about seven chapters total of this fic finished, and that's not untrue. . . but if you haven't noticed, this was chapter six. The entire "Herbal Remedies" fic is planned out to be eight or nine chapters at this point, but, recently, I've had a bad case of Writer's Block. Whether or not I'll be able to draft out the last couple of chapters on my own throughout this, I'm not sure, but I just felt that I had to warn you all. . . I'm not sure when I'll be able to update again after the next chapter is posted. I'm trying with all my might to use the little bit of inspiration inside of me, but half of it is going to my big-fic, "Illicit Saints". And the chapters for that one are about 15,000 words worth a piece. Ouch.

Nevertheless, I kind of know how I want to end "Herbal Remedies". . . At this point, all that matters is if I want Ranma and Akane to get together or just. . . act like the whole thing was a mishap and whatever. What do you all think? Either way, I plan on having Akane finish it up nicely with beating Ranma around the head for something. . .

Anyway, look forward to the chapter seven about a week from now! Reviews are greatly appreciated!