Thanks for reviewing. It means a lot to me, considering that this is my first fanfic that I ever let anyone see.


Love Is Blind

Chapter Three

The rising sunlight hit Riku's window and onto the bed sheets and his eyes. He wrinkled his face feeling the heat of the light on him. He put a hand over his eyes to shield them. Then he slowly opened his aqua-green eyes. He saw the light coming from his window and sighed.

He had not slept very well last night. All night long he was thinking. Even though he didn't want to he was thinking, thinking of Sora. The heart-breaking came back. Right now, Riku wished that he could just fall back to sleep and never wake up. If he was asleep he did not have to feel this pain. If he did not wake up he would not have to face the tortuous day to come.

Riku knew that Sora must have told Kairi about his feelings yesterday. And he could just see them together, hours from now, holding hands. Everyone would know that they were a couple. Then Riku would not have anything else to do but mope for himself.

Riku cursed himself now. He had encouraged the brunet to confess. How could he? He should have said something to discourage him. But then what if Sora was sad? Riku couldn't stand the idea or the image of Sora being sad. He simply could not. He would not make his Sora sad. He wanted him to be happy, the happiest person alive. If Sora will be happy with Kairi then it's alright, right?

Riku laid in bed a few minutes longer, wanting to never get up so he won't have to see Sora. But eventually, he did get up. He grabbed some clean clothes from his closet and headed for the bathroom. There he tried to cleanse himself, cleanse himself of his tears, his injured heart, and his suffering mind.

The warm, hot water felt good when it hit his skin. He washed himself slowly. He let the falling water hit his face to wash away the tear stains that he still felt, then he wiped it with his palm. With soap and shampoo, he began washing himself. But he could quite explain it but something was missing. What would be missing in the shower if you had your soap and shampoo? Well, what was missing was the feeling of happiness Riku usually feels when he cleanses himself in the morning, preparing for another to be with his young friend. Now, it felt awkward. He thought of how Sora would always call out to him at random places where the brunet finds him. He wondered if Sora would ever come looking for him again if he had Kairi. No more happy smiles for Riku.

Riku got out of the shower and dried himself. He dressed slowly, everything he does seem to be slow today. He took out a comb and untangled his hair. Then for the first time in this horrible morning, Riku smiled to himself. He even giggled for a second.

Sora's hair always seemed to look so unmanageable. Riku remembered that there was a day when they and their other friends were swimming in the sea because it was such a hot day. They were having a great time, splashing each other and dunking one another. Wakka picked up Sora and dunked him. When Sora came up, his hair was entangled with seaweed and Riku thought of a tiny crab too was crabbing hold of the brown hair.

Riku giggled again at the remembrance of the image. It had been Riku who helped the blue-eyed boy get the stuff out of his hair. Selphie stopped Kairi from helping the boy because she said Sora was mean, having dunked her into the water. But it was all humor, Selphie was not trying to be mean; the two girls laughed at the poor boy good-naturedly.

Riku started combing his hair. He could still remember how hard it had been to get that crab out of Sora's hair. It had a pretty hard grip. Riku suggested that they cut the hair that the crab was holding. Sora immediately jumped and cried no. Riku laughed at his companion's expression. He was only kidding. So then after a few more tries, they finally got the stubborn little crab out of Sora's hair. But how Sora's hair looked was ridiculously messy. So, thus, it was Riku who got out his comb, which he did not really know why he had it at that time, and slowly untangled the boy's hair. Sora just sat, not protesting to the once in a while tugs Riku made. The others were too busy splashing each other to care for Riku and Sora. Riku was surprised that Sora's hair did not feel at all what it looks like. Once Riku smoothed it out, he felt how silky it really was. How Sora manages to put it like that is beyond Riku.

When Riku finished combing his hair, his smile suddenly disappeared. There will no longer be another time where he could comb his friend's hair. Kairi would surely do that in place of him. Riku got even more upset. He will never be able to get close to the boy like that anymore. "This isn't fair," Riku hissed. He wanted the boy so much. If he was never meant to have him then why did he have to feel this way? Was it just to torture him?

Finally, two drops of tear escaped Riku's eyes. It wasn't fair. This feeling burns and it hurts. Riku used the back of his hand to wipe the tears away. He looked at the wetness of his hand. Riku, the unbeatable, the strongest one on the island, was crying. He couldn't feel worse than being beaten. Sora couldn't beat him at anything, but this surely made up for it. Riku was beaten badly, and being the winner for so long didn't make it any better. God, if he just make this feeling go away, he would give up anything. He didn't need to win anymore. There is nothing to win anymore. He only wanted Sora.

Riku collapsed on the tiled blue floor of the bathroom. One of his hands clung onto the sink. He let himself cry. Even when he said that it was nothing he kept crying. The tears just wouldn't stop. He couldn't make them stop. So instead he leaned his back against the tub and curled his legs up to his chest and cried there with his head on his knees.

When he cleansed all the water from his eyes, his throat was dry and he felt tired. He got up, needing more strength than he thought. He looked at himself in the mirror. His eyes were red. His cheeks had so much tear stains on them that his usual silky white skin was discolored. He sniffed. His nose was red too and stuffy. He looked horrible. Trying to dismiss the image, Riku turned on the sink and splashed some warm water onto his face. It felt good. He did it again, and a third and fourth time, washing away the tear stains and hoping that his eyes and nose would not look as red.

When he finally felt that it was enough, he took his towel and wiped his face. He looked at his face in the mirror again. The tears were gone but anyone could see that he has been crying.

Riku felt so tired. He opened the bathroom door and walked back into his room. It was still early, nothing to worry about. His mother might still be making breakfast. Even though he had cried for an ideally long time, he still had time. He laid his head back onto the pillow and closed his eyes, resting them. He felt drained, but somehow it was better than keeping it all in. That was worse, he decided.

"Riku?" asked a soft, sweet voice from the other side of Riku's door.

Riku's eyes opened. He almost fell back to sleep again. But he got up.

"Riku, are you alright, dear? You're not down for breakfast yet," asked his mother, her tone filled with sincere concern.

"I'm fine, Mother," he lied. Things will never be fine.

Riku walked to the door and opened it. His mother stepped back a little to let her son come out. She looked at him and was deeply hurt to see a very tired and depressed expression her dear son's face. He looked like he had been crying but she won't say anything about it.

"Are you sick, honey?" she asked, hoping that maybe her son would tell her what's wrong, but even if he didn't she wouldn't mind because he is seventeen now.

"No, Mother," Riku answered monotonously. He couldn't possibly tell her what is really wrong.

"You sure?" she tired once more.

Riku just nodded and walked down the stairs, his mother followed him to the kitchen. He saw that his father was already there in his usual seat. Riku took his seat, forgetting to say good morning. His father took one look at his son's face and everything that was supposed to be happy disappeared. He was worried now. "Son, what's wrong?" he asked, his usual loud and exclaiming tone reduced to a soft sound.

Riku looked at his father. "Nothing, Father."

But by the way Riku looked, his father wasn't convinced but he knew not to bother a teenager. It was sometimes better to leave them alone.

"Well, son, if you ever need something just ask," his father said.

Riku just nodded. He looked down at his food and picked at it. He wouldn't usually do that but he didn't feel very hungry. He ate some though just so he won't worry his mother too much.

His father left the house when he finished. "Bye, Honey. Bye, son," he said and then left the house.

Riku finished not long after. He got up and walked to the door mindless. But then it struck him. He stopped, his hands on the doorknob. What was he going to do? Where was he going to go? He couldn't possible go find his friends. He just can't face Sora right now.

"Riku?" his mother said, her head popping out of the kitchen doorway. Riku looked at his mother. "Aren't you going to play with your friends now? Why are you standing there, dear?"

"Nothing, Mother," he lied yet again. He opened the door and walked out. If he didn't, he knew that it would worry his mother and he didn't feel like telling her what was wrong with him. He wasn't sure if he could tell anyone.

Without a destination at all, Riku walked slowly, looking down at the sand his shoes intrude. Miraculously, he came to the tree house. He looked up at it. They had built it, all of them—Tidus, Selphie, Wakka, Kairi, Sora, and him. It was so much fun building it too.

Now, as Riku looks up, he could almost hear the laughter of his friends and the one standing out most vividly was Sora's laughter and his smile. Damn, he really can't get him off his mind for a minute. Everything reminds him of Sora.

Riku decided to climb up to the little tree house. There was no one there. Sometimes, his friends would be there and sometimes he would come alone. It had always been a good place to think besides the plateau with the Paopu Tree.

Sitting by the windowsill, Riku saw the green of the island, the blue of the sea, and the brown of the beach. It was smoothing, calming, but not quite enough. There was still that prick in his heart that makes him want to cry over and over again because of the pain it causes. Will it ever go away? Will he be like this forever? For the rest of his life?

"Riku!"

Riku was hopeful for a moment. It did sound like Sora's voice, but maybe he's thinking so much about him that he's just imagining it.

He looked down. It was Sora. Riku was so surprised that even though he rarely shows something like this, this time he was sure that he showed it.

"Riku!" the spiky-haired boy yelled so that the older boy in the high tree house could hear.

Riku examined his friend. He looked quite happy, in fact, really happy, incredibly happy, unusually happy. The smile on his face was just plastered there. Riku had never seen Sora this happy.

"Riku! Riku, come down! I have something I want to tell you!" Sora screamed for Riku to hear.

Detaching himself from the windowsill, Riku climbed down the ladder. Once he leaped onto his feet, he walked over to his blue-eyed friend. Sora seems so happy. Why? Riku could not help but envy how happy his friend was. He was down right miserable right now.

When Riku reached his friend and was only two feet away from him, he asked, "What?"

Sora's smile seemed to have widened if that was possible. "I did what you told me yesterday."

Riku looked at the younger boy intensely now.

Sora could hardly contain his excitement. "She said she'll be my girlfriend, Riku!" Sora leaped forward and hugged his friend jumping.

Riku could not be more shocked. But some part of him knew this, right? Why was he still shocked? Guess that no matter how much you think you are prepared for it, you will never really be prepared for the one you love's rejection. Well, this was almost a rejection. It certainly felt like it. It felt like Sora saying that Riku would never have a chance with him. Hurt, it hurt too much.

When Sora finally let go of Riku, he jumped around, making noises with so much energy and joy. Riku looked at his friend. Kairi has really made him that happy? Could Riku ever do that? Maybe not. Jealousy again; Riku could not envy Kairi more right now.

Sora keeps smiling and jumping. Riku stood still, trying not to let his friend suspect a thing. But it seems that the happier Sora gets the sadder Riku gets. Yet, if Sora was happy, how could Riku mind? In any case, Riku would gladly give him anything.