animebuddy—you're so funny. Of course I'm going to kill him, what kind of think I am if I let Ansem get away with hurting Riku? (I know I did it but that's beside the point.)

Jackie—it made you cry? I'm so happy to hear that. Really, I'm so glad that someone cares.

Black rainfall—I didn't know making Ansem gay would be surprising since there are just so many these days. Hehe...

Tavern-Tsuki—thank you so much. I can't express how much I appreciate people's support.

runaway-raindrop—I like writing angst, that's why I made this story. I don't know when the happiness is going to kick in yet though...

tenkage onna—wow, I can't believe you still want to see Riku cry. I'm having trouble dealing with all the pain I've caused him. I'm so sorry, Riku. But yeah, I think he's going to have to cry some more. Hehe...

Quellesirel Peredhil—yep, but now thinking about it I can almost hear Sora saying: "What the...kill her, I don't care, really I don't."

Love Is Blind

Chapter Twelve

Emptiness, darkness, loneliness, that was all Riku could feel. But most importantly, he could feel love anymore. No, not any of that sort of emotions. So empty did his heart feel. The mention of Sora did not give him pain anymore. Although he still felt a darkness in him, he could not rid it. But this darkness was different. It took away his emotions, leaving him to feel nothing. It was what Riku wanted after all, to feel nothing for Sora, but somehow it really wasn't what he had asked for.

It has been a week now. Riku has been going back to his friends, only to find that they keep asking him what was the matter or what was wrong with him. He would always say nothing, and they would always have that concerned look on their faces, but dismisses it nonetheless.

"Riku, pass the marshmallows, please," Selphie asked as they all gathered around a fire on the beach.

Riku picked up the bag on the floor next to him and handed it over to the happy brunette. "Here," he said, but even though he was saying something, his face didn't change at all. That was how it was for the past week.

Sora had noticed this of course and was horribly worried. The Riku before them was not the Riku he had known since childhood. It pained to see Riku like this, but what could he possibly to if Riku said there was nothing wrong or wouldn't even tell him anything. But at any case, it was still comforting to see Riku coming out and spending time with them even if Riku was different. Maybe growing up changes people, Sora thought and made that his reason not to pester Riku.

"Ya, me too," Wakka exclaimed to Selphie who took a few and handed the bag to him. She then put two on a stick and started to hover it over the fire. Her pretty smile signifies that she was waiting happily for the marshmallows to roast.

"Pass it here," Tidus requested and Wakka gave it to him. Next, he gave it to Kairi who thanked him and then she gave it to Sora.

Sora took a few, popped one in his mouth, and handed it to Riku with a smile. It was a smile Sora had often given Riku, one of those smiles of running up to him. He could always see Riku's satisfaction in them, but when Riku said, "Thank you" plainly, Sora could not help but feel like everything had gone horribly wrong. He didn't expect the silver-haired teen to smile back or anything of the sort, but he did expect him to react somewhat, but instead Riku's expression was emotionless like how he reacted to everything lately. It did not make Sora feel good at all. Even though Riku wasn't locking himself in his room anymore, Sora could still feel that he was sad, and he wanted to make everything better for him. The spiky-haired boy really did care a lot for him. Riku was important, he just didn't know how or why important.

Now, everyone was roasting their marshmallows. The cheerful Selphie suggested that they sing to which both Tidus and Wakka objected. But the energetic girl insisted, singing by herself a song called, 'Simple and Clean' to which they all love. She urged Kairi to join in to which the red-head could not refuse. They sang beautifully, a little out of the original but it was pretty nonetheless. They made it their own. The boys simply listened, Wakka and Tidus almost surprised by how nicely Selphie sang, Sora admiring the pleasant voices of the two, and Riku just listened without much more than a hint that he liked it. He didn't dislike it, of course, he just didn't seem like he clearly enjoyed it. Really, there was nothing Riku enjoyed anymore, not even when sparring with Sora or the contests they held. Riku simply did what he would normally do but without a smile, or more words than needed, or anything else. He just seemed so dead, broken, like a puppet without a soul.

After Selphie and Kairi were done with their song, the brunette offered a joke to which they all laughed, well, Riku was an exception. Then Wakka and Tidus joined in for jokes, then just funny stories, which turned to scary stories. All the while, Riku was expressionless, and Sora could not stop looking over his shoulder to check on his silver-haired friend. And every time, the brunet was disappointed to see that Riku didn't find anything funny, stupid, or scary. Riku just listened, putting a marshmallow in his mouth when it was roasted enough.

The circle of friends talked for almost an hour straight. It was getting to the point where the sun would go down. They planned on a good view of the sunset. The fire was getting smaller too. It was Riku who offered to get some more firewood. "I'll come with you," Sora jumped out of his seat. "We can get more that way," he said smiling at his friend beside him. Somehow, the brunet knew that even if he didn't offer to go along, his heart would follow his silver-haired friend.

Riku just nodded in agreement and began to walk away from the others. Sora followed, feeling a bit uncomfortable but then being with Riku was always nice even if this Riku was not the same as before, he was still Riku.

They walked in silence. Riku did not have anything to say to the brown-haired boy while Sora could not think of anything. He wanted to start some kind of friendly conversation with Riku but just couldn't find a subject. Disappointed in himself, Sora walked on. They soon came to the little cabin that the adults let them use their advantage. They stored just about anything they could think of and among them were some firewood in which they stored away for just the occasion.

"How much do you think we'll need?" Sora asked as they entered the cabin.

"We won't be staying over midnight, so maybe just five logs," Riku replied as he bent down to pick up two logs, handing them to Sora. The brown-haired boy felt useless while standing there with the two logs as the other grabbed his three. Now he wondered why he came anyway if he is only going to carry two logs, but if Riku were alone then it would be harder for the silver-haired boy to carry. Still, even if Sora understood that, he couldn't help but feel useless.

Sora closed the door behind them, somewhat relieved that he was able to do that and not let Riku be the one. Walking besides his friend, Sora truly felt uncomfortable.

While Sora was thinking of ways to communicate with his friend, he managed to dismiss a root that grew just under where he was walking. So it was needless to say that the boy fell with a surprised shriek. Riku looked back, a bit shocked to see the other had landed flat on the ground, the two logs spread some ways apart from the one who was carrying them. Riku made his way to his fallen friend, quickly laid down his logs and tried to get Sora up. "You okay?" he asked, at least he sounded a bit concerned.

"Yeah," Sora replied wincing in pain which was the result of his fall. Riku helped him sit up so that he wasn't face on the floor anymore. When he was done groaning, Sora looked at his friend. He half expected Riku to say something like how clumsy he was, which was what the old Riku would say, but it never can, thus proving to Sora again that Riku has undoubtedly changed.

Riku looked almost blankly at his friend. He noted some sand and dirt on Sora's clothes, sand on his palm, dirt on one of his elbow, and a cut on his knee with sand and dirt covering it. The scrape was barely serious, just skinned with a small trace of blood. Yet, it was dirty. Seeing that, Riku looked up and saw the little pond that was near the small cave in which he and Sora had explored when they were younger (you know, the one with the door). He stood up, leaving Sora looking questioningly at him. He heard a faint 'hey' from the blue-eyed boy but continued to walk towards the water.

Pulling out a handkerchief, Riku damped in the water and then ringed it but not completely dry. He walked back to where Sora was curiously watching in his still sitting position. Riku knelt down and began to carefully clean the wound, wiping the dirt and sand away.

Sora stared with such unease. His body felt tense, his heart was beating faster, and he could not stop the increasing redness that was gracing his face by the second. He noted how gently Riku behaved while cleansing his cut which he had not noticed until Riku had started wiping it. The cold water stung but it felt alright, in fact, it felt more than alright, it sent waves of happiness through Sora's heart, or maybe it was the person that did it.

Out of nowhere, Sora thought of hugging the boy in front of him. It was not a foreign thought. He had hugged Riku before—when they were children, when they were happy, when they congratulated the other, and when they were laughing and needed support from the other because of the uncontrollable laughter. But those other hugs were different; they were shared between best friends. What Sora thought of now was not that, not a friend type hug but one of a different and more passionate relationship. It really did not make sense to Sora but he understood what his heart was telling him. He just didn't know why.

However, his opportunity slipped when Riku rose from his position, having been done with what he was doing. He went back to the water to rinse it clean, ringed it, and then tried to wave it drier. He didn't put the wet cloth back in his pocket as he walked back to where Sora was still sitting. The boy looked so intent as he tried to sort out his thoughts. It was not until Sora saw Riku's outstretched hand that the boy woke from his little trance. Taking it, Sora stood up on his two feet. The cut stung a little but it was nothing compared to the boy's injuries when he was a mischievous child.

"You can walk, right? Nothing is broken?" Riku asked, but it was not as concerned as Sora would have liked it to be.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Sora answered, picking up his two logs. Riku took his and they began to walk back. Riku didn't say anything else, leaving Sora to his thoughts. The younger teen was sure that something must be wrong, because he felt so strange back there, a feeling that was never revealed to him. However, he didn't know if it was a bad or good feeling since it felt like both. It was just all so weird.

But while Sora's little cute mind went on working, they were nearing their friends. "What took ya?" Wakka asked, knowing that the cabin wasn't that far away and that they should be back minutes ago.

Waking up from his thoughts again, Sora replied sheepishly, "Sorry, I fell."

"Fell? Fell where?" Kairi asked both confused and concerned. For some reason, Sora wished that same concern could come from Riku.

"It's nothing, just a scrape," Sora answered, indicating his so-called wound. He then sat next to Kairi again putting one of the logs in the almost worn out fire and setting the other on the ground beside him.

Riku stood for a second before he placed the three logs on the floor in front of his seat. "I'm going now," Riku informed apathetically.

"Where are you going?" Sora asked. He knew he has asked it before but he couldn't help it. Riku hasn't answered him since though. The silver-haired boy would say he was going but he never told them where.

The silver-haired boy turned to leave, but Sora would not let him walk away peacefully. "Wait, Riku, where are you always going?" he asked, his face contorted with a troubled and somewhat hurt expression at not being told the information.

"You must know?" Riku asked simply.

"Yes, Riku, please tell us," Sora said in a plea. He really wanted to know where his friend was going. One minute they would all be playing and then the next, Riku would say he needed to go. It wasn't right. Where did he have to go? Why? It was too strange to dismiss anymore.

"Very well," Riku replied. He doubted that giving the information would do any harm. "The other side of the island," he said before continuing his stride.

/The other side of the island? What's there/ Sora pondered for a moment before he had an answer. /Ansem! No, what would Riku do there/ There was a fire that sparked at the realization that Riku was going to see Ansem. Maybe Sora was selfish, but he didn't like Ansem, and he didn't want Riku to see him. Remembering the day they first met and Ansem's particular smile on Riku was disturbing, sickening, and most of all infuriating.