Chapter 2

Yeah, yeah...don't own CC or anything...You know the deal.


After returning home after work to shower and change into something a bit more comfortable, I make my way to the address that Kat had given me. I climb the stairs to the second floor quickly and stop in front of, what I believe to be, the right door. I glance once more at the slip of paper Kat had given me on my way out.

"Apartment 12B," I mutter to myself, hesitating as I reached towards the large knocker on the dull green door.

I force myself to grin as the door swings open to reveal Kat standing in a snug pair of jeans and low-cut, blue v-neck top. I can't help but notice her near-perfect figure and the way her outfit shows it off, but quickly remind myself that I'm not supposed to be thinking those things about another woman.

"Hi," she says, welcoming me into her apartment. The walls were papered in yellow and green striped paper, most of which was covered by photographs of her family, and places she had visited. Right in the middle of one wall was her picture that was taken when she graduated the academy. The furniture was simple to match the feel of the place.

I have no idea what to expect from tonight, so I've prepared myself for whatever happens. I make up my mind that if I get uncomfortable, I'll excuse myself immediately.

"Hi," I say, stepping inside and offering Kat a loaf of French bread I had picked up on my way over. Kat thanks me and leads me into the kitchen, which doubled as a dining area.

"Please, sit," she said, pulling out one of the plain wooden chairs for me. "Dinner will be ready in a minute."

I smile again, but say nothing as I sit at the table. I don't want to say nor do anything that will make her get the wrong impression. I sit there, thinking about what could happen for not even five minutes before Kat comes in, carrying two plates of chicken parmesan.

"Dinner is served," she says, setting one plate in front of me and taking the other with her as she sits down directly across from me.

"Looks delicious," I say with another forced smile. There is tension in the air as we eat in silence. I try to avoid eye contact with her, but I find myself stealing a few looks down her shirt.

iStop it! That time of your life is over/i I scold myself.

After we both finish, I help clear the dishes. We still don't say a word to each other.

"Um, how about we come in here, where we can be a bit more comfortable?" she says, more than asks. She leads me into her living room and she seats herself on a small, brown leather sofa. I settle myself into a matching armchair next to it.

"So," I begin, "what did you want to talk about?"

"You know what I wanted to talk to you about," she sighs.

"But what about it?" I ask, getting annoyed. "It's over between us. I thought you knew that."

"Lil," she said, calling me by my nickname, "those feelings that I had for you, they don't just disappear overnight. I've never forgotten about you. I'm sorry; I can't help it."

"Well," I say, as I feel a tightening feeling in my chest, "you're just going to have to get past that."

"Lilly, we had a good thing…" she begins.

"Yes, Kat," I cut her off. "We had a good thing. That part of my life is over now."

"Lilly," she says, "there's nothing wrong with being gay. Lots of men and women are."

"But not me," I tell her. "It's been a long time since then. I'm sorry if you felt that strongly about me, but the whole relationship was a mistake." She opens her mouth to speak, but I hold up my hand to stop her. "I better get going…Thanks for dinner. It was really good."

I think I hear her mutter good-bye as I rush out the door. It was a mistake. Everything that had ever happened was a mistake, including tonight.

I let myself into my apartment; make my way into my bedroom, and fall onto my bed with my cats. I roll over onto my back, letting out a long sigh.

I know I'm straight. I have to be. There's no way that I'm gay.

I yawn as I realize just how tired I am.

What happened between me and Kat was a long time ago. I was young and carefree, willing to give anything a shot. At the time, it seemed right. But now, having moved past that, I know who I am.

Or am I wrong now? I ask myself as I drift off to sleep.

TBC…