Author's Beginning notes: My friend and I both wrote this on the way to Cordele for a football game. And you wonder what you can do for 2 and a half hours….. Yeah, we both were "tripping out" writing this. We both hope all of you like it. And as a warning there is NO SLASH INTENDED! It's just a very funny story. So here are the notes of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black on the band bus to Cordele. (Don't ask why they are in the band. Just humor us.)
-SIRIUSLY RIDDIKULUS-
(The first 15 minutes on the number 7 band bus)
Sirius:Hey sexy beast! I just wondered what you are doing. Well write me back.
Remus:Hey mate! I'm just trying to write a story. Oh Merlin, it's hard to write on muggle transportation. This stupid pen hates me. I like quills.
Sirius: I agree. So what do you wanna talk about?
Remus: Not killing trees by using unnecessary lines on muggle paper….grrr…..
Sirius: So that's the muggle's worries not our's. We can make paper appear with "a flick of a wand"
Let's talk about….FLOO POWDER! You know you wanna! (wink wink)
Remus: FLOO! WE FLOO AWAY! I wonder which is worse floo or weed? Muggles say weed is very addictive. I wonder…..
Sirius: Don't do it Remy! DO NOT DO IT! (snatches "weed" away from Remus) Bad wolfie!
Remus: Awww! (someone hands Remus and Sirius food.) At least I have chicken!
Sirius: Me too! I hate this retainer. sniffles (Apparently Sirius had braces)
Remus: Yes you are! SNIFFLES!
Sirius: SNUFFLES!
Remus: These muggles are weird. (hearing bad singing in the background)
Sirius: Aye! Especially the odd things on their heads (earphones) that make them…..they call it singing I call it noise.
Remus: But I hear that when you take a shower. Someone likes to hear himself sing.
Sirius: I happen to have a lovely singing voice. You're just jealous! HA!
Remus: Ha! Ha! NO! I beg to differ.
Sirius: Whatever…..
Remus: Shut up. You are acting like a muggle!
Sirius: I'm appalled! You're more of a muggle that me and you know it! (Angry vibes) GO AWAY! I don't love you anymore!
Remus: How am I more of a muggle than you? Who's addicted to that computer game…the Semes? No, the SIMS!
Sirius: Gawd, you can't spell. Dude, can you just imagine when we go to Orlando? (giggles with happiness at the thought)
Remus: I'm scared! Orlando plus us equals TROUBLE….. (giggles over a new sheet of paper Sirius hands to him)
Sirius: You have trouble because of how you get excited over a piece of paper…Dang mate, may Merlin be with your poor soul. Umm….while we're in the same seat….can I poke you?
Remus: Sure why not. Just don't make it a habit.
(POKE)
Remus: No the pokiness!
Sirius You made me a happy dog. big smile
Remus: You know it! same big smile
Sirius: (wink wink…nudge nudge)
Remus: (blank stare)
Sirius: Never mind….I'm bored. yawn
Remus: Really? You sure have a short attention "spane." (intentionally spelled wrong, it's span.)
Sirius: Still can't spell…Muggles make me want to pull out my beautiful hair.
Remus: Beautiful hair! HA! I think Snivellus bit me. pointing to two sores on arm Stupid muggles with their mosquitoes!
Sirius: Gosh, Moony, and here I was thinking you were the smart one….our paper is pretty.
Remus: Yes, well muggles surrounding me isn't helping. (sighs) It's also lovely with your beautiful handwriting. Sirius, I though I might change to another piece of paper. (sigh) I wonder what made Dumbledore so upset that he sent us here.
Sirius: One to many dunkings of Snivelly into the toilet? Honestly, we're doing him a favor.
Remus: Who a favor…Dumbledore? You are! I haven't disobeyed orders like some people I know….
Sirius: Who me? No….we were doing Snape a favor by washing his hair….that chemistry dork really ought to make use of his chemicals and make himself some descent shampoo.
Remus: That's true, but still…I can't say anything. I helped….hell I told you the location of the "secret" bathrooms.
Sirius: shakes head Dang it. Now I have to take out my retainer to eat muggle candy, You know I'm wondering….. (someone hands Remus and Sirius 2 Blow Pops)
Remus: Wondering about what? Where we are going? (biting sucker)
Sirius: You already bit your sucker! Sheesh….anyways…I was wondering why we are writing back and forth when we're sitting next to each other?
Remus: What we want to say is to embarrassing to say in person.
Sirius: Guess you're not man enough to express your feelings to me….pretending to cry
Remus: Man enough? Who has the inner beast? HUH! Who?
Sirius: Gee I guess, I've been proved wrong since you wrote your little furry problem on paper.
Remus: Darn you! evil glare Well, you know a lot about my "bunny?" (wink wink)
Sirius: Yes, your bunny is very cute in an evil sort of way.
Remus: (G-R-O-W-L)
Sirius: Not what I meant…..besides my dog is cuter….
Remus: This is odd……I'm confused scratching head….Ah well, I don't really know what my bunny looks like, but your dog is a little "grungy" looking. (marks on Sirius' hand with the pen)
Sirius: My beautiful paw has been marked on! Short cuts are lame! Pretty brick wall to the left. (looking out window)
Remus: You are sad.
Sirius: No, I'm gay.
Remus: Yup…(as in happy I hope.)…..But I know you.
Sirius: Gross man! Of course I meant as in "happy!" I love the ladies, but not as much as the love me!
Remus: O-K……I suppose so. They do love you.
Sirius: I know (big smile) You're a knanigit.
Remus: Whatever…..(rolls eyes)
Sirius: I'm bored now……
( Only 2 more hours to go too...)
Author's ending notes:
Well, I hope everyone enjoyed it. I know it was probably pretty odd, but that's band people for you, right? I mean me (a drummer) and my friend ( a clarinetist) that is a very crazy combination for a story like this. Oh well:P We both really had a fun time writing this. Well, please review….you know you see that small button on the bottom. You're just scared to hit it. Come on you know you want to!
P.S. : If anyone can tell me what a "knanigit" is I'll give them a Blow Pop.
DiscombobulatedDrummer and Mikki Amboree