"I don't want to poo in public, I don't want to poo in public." That had become Lavender's mantra since leaving the hospital. It was what kept her from falling back to her old ways.
Lavender had been horrified to learn that the first requirement of her hospitalization was to strip in front of the nurse to make sure she wasn't smuggling anything in. Once the physical and psychological examinations were over, she had to deal with her hysterical mother and angry father wondering where they had gone wrong. It wasn't easy dealing with the disappointment of her parents. It added yet another layer to the pressure she was feeling, yet at the same time it was a relief for them to finally know.
Hospitalization meant not having any privacy. She wasn't allowed to shave her legs, as that gave her access to a blade. No belts or shoe laces, either, in case she tried to hang herself. Even taking care of bathroom needs had to be observed by a nurse, though Lavender couldn't see why. After all, she had nothing but the clothes the hospital provided. She couldn't even stab herself with a pencil, as pencils were only allowed during therapeutic journaling sessions under strict supervision.
Every day, Lavender had to go to group therapy where bored teens told angsty stories while the therapist tried to make meaning of it all. This was followed by occupational therapy where they had to "express themselves with art" to give further insight into their psyche. It was hard for Lavender not to give in to the temptation to just paint everything black with red streaks to try to get a rise out of the nurses. Altogether, it was the worst time of her life.
That's why it surprised her how much she didn't want to leave. Leaving meant facing the outside world again, and who knew how that world would treat her now they knew she was a freak? It meant facing temptation again and having to fight it. But one thing Lavender was sure of—she would fight it. She would never poo in public again!
Returning to Hogwarts was difficult. Some people treated her differently. Parvati acted very strangely toward her, and Padma just avoided her altogether. Professor Flitwick wouldn't meet her eye, but McGonagall didn't hesitate to keep her accountable. At least once a day, the no-nonsense teacher would ask Lavender if she had had any relapses.
Oddly enough, the one person who didn't treat her like a freak was Hermione. "You can't change the past, only learn from it," Hermione had told Lavender when she first returned. "I hope you and I can be friends."
While they certainly wouldn't be bosom buddies anytime soon, it was nice to know that someone could look past one's faults and see a human being inside.