Disclaimer: We wish we could have been brilliant enough to come up with lines like, "A Sith Lord?" but alas, we certainly are not. Thanks George Lucas, for great movies with the corniest dialog throughout every galaxy.

Authors' Note- Hey, we're making up for the crappiness of chapter 3 now. Hope you enjoy!

Thanks to: hEaRtS- We really like you! We should totally make Anakin drunk sometime, thanks for the idea. QueenMeep- Totally what we were going for … we live to creep you out. Thanks a bunch! KillinBuddy- Your reviews leave us speechless. (And we're not sure if it's in a good way.) Possumruler and Fuzzybunny- Stop reading our story. You insult us. MercutioArcher- You scare us slightly, but thanks for the reviews. Yay for Anakin, though! Voldy's pink teddie- That is the smartest review we've ever gotten. Why are you reading our story again? Well, thank you, you make us feel special. Blusgr2- Okay, read chapter three please. And Lauren says that she would not be like that when she's drunk. But I would totally get an HP tattoo. Vaders apprentice darth squishy- Here's chapter four, please don't burst … it would be yucky. Sithlord- The shower part is not that funny. Get over it. Just kidding! Thanks for loving our story!

An Unexpected Guest

Chapter 4

I march furiously through the countless rooms and never-ending corridors, desperately trying to find Obi-wan. I don't even know why I want to find him, really. He's annoying, he's over-bearing, and he ruined my party … again! I tell myself that he's a prisoner. I tell myself that I can't let a prisoner escape from my grasp - the grasp of the Dark Side. I tell myself that these are the only reasons why I'm tearing apart the Death Star to look for him.

As I finally reach out into the Force to somehow sense his presence, however, I am barred from any further pursuit due to one of those stupid little metal droid things that zooms around all the time on the ground (and whose function I still haven't figured out yet). I promptly trip over it as I round yet another corner, and land hard on the cold floor.

I don't know why I'm so upset, why I want to sink through the ground beneath me and just get away. I'm so confused, and my thoughts aren't helped at all by the sound of some incessant nibbling, like a small creature devouring left-over crumbs from the floor.

"Geez, walk much?" says a voice from behind me.

I spin around quickly to see Obi-wan snacking on chips of some sort and looking at me with an amused expression playing across his face.

"I knew I should have just killed you on Mustafar; it would've saved you the agony of trying to see out of that mask," he says as I scramble to my feet. "Not to mention that it would've saved me the agony of having to watch you."

"Where have you been?" I choke. "How did you – where did you…."

"Oh, here and there," Obi-wan says cheerfully. "I knew I wouldn't be able to actually get out of this horrible contraption, but I did some exploring. Been following you around for a while … apparently the 'power of the Dark Side' has not made you any more perceptive. I mean, even when I covered your eyes –"

"What?" I break in. "That – that was you? But how did you get into the party?"

"You act like it was some exclusive affair," he says, leaning casually against a nearby wall. His calmness is really starting to get on my nerves. "Security here sucks, and those clones are unbelievably weak-minded and gullible."

I stand facing him in mild indignation, but before I can say anything he begins to speak again. "Still can't believe you didn't know it was me," he says. "I mean, I know it's been a while, Anakin, but really."

"My name is not 'Anakin,'" I grumble, irritated now, "and what does it even matter if I knew it was you or not?"

Obi-wan shrugs. "I guess it doesn't. Though, it was worth the fake crying to see, well, no expression on your face really…." He pauses. "I'm sure you were puzzled though, even if I couldn't see it."

"Whatever," I mutter, choosing to ignore whatever he's going on about. "I have to take you to Lord Sidious. He must know that you've been apprehended once more."

"Ahh, right," Obi-wan nods. "I suppose that is procedure." He moves forward to stand beside me, and looks up at me expectantly.

I forget to move for a moment, somewhat shocked at this odd willingness to comply with my instruction.

"Why did you even bother escaping if you knew you'd just be caught again?" I ask.

"Well," he begins pensively, "I was bored, you hadn't come to visit in ages, and I smelled cake." He coughs as if clearing his throat, but I can swear it sounds suspiciously like the word 'Anakin.'

We finally start walking toward Palpatine's chambers, Obi-wan rambling on about nothing, and me desperately trying not to respond to his annoying questions.

"- and that is the reason why I chew gum now," he finishes. "Hey, can you chew gum?"

I don't respond, hoping he will get the hint to shut up.

"Well then again, I don't really know how you could, what with that mask and all. Wait … how do you eat?"

I once again attempt to ignore him – definitely not an easy task.

"Do you eat through a tube or something? How do you brush your teeth? Anakin, do you even have teeth?"

"SHUT UP!" I yell. "JUST SHUT UP FOR ONE MINUTE!"

He is silent for a moment, and then responds, "Well, that's not very nice, I was just asking a question."

'Here we go again,' I think to myself.

"I do seem to remember," he starts, "that you, Anakin, sure asked a lot of questions as a padawan. And by the way, I never really wanted to train you; it was all Qui-gon's idea. Yep, I knew you would grow up to be evil. As a matter of fact, this one time -."

"So if you always knew I was going to go over to the Dark Side, then why did you seem so surprised when I actually did?" I say, breaking in with my own question.

Obi-wan pauses, to my immense relief, and then begins slowly, "Well, I suppose I just got too close to you. I mean, we'd been through just about everything together, hadn't we? I think I just started to go against my initial feelings. I began to believe that I could trust you with my life," he says simply.

I feel a sort of knot rising in my throat at these words. What is this – remorse? No, it can't be. I don't feel remorse anymore.

"So how do you get your helmet so shiny?" says Obi-wan suddenly, resuming his task of aggravating me. "Really, I can practically see myself in it. Is that what you do when you're bored n-"

"What is your problem?" I burst out, halting before the doors to my master's chambers.

"What did I say?" Obi-wan asks, an 'innocent' smile on his face.

"You – you're acting insane! Since when did you become so weird, irrational, and completely NUTS? I'm not stupid. This isn't you and you know it!"

"And is this you?" he says quietly. There is a long silence, and before I can even fathom an answer, he pushes open the door and I am following him through.

We enter the vast expanse of the room and are met with a high-pitched squealing. I search around for the source of this odd noise (which sounds something like "weeeeee") but am stopped suddenly as Obi-wan halts in front of me, causing me to run right into him. I follow his fixed gaze to see Palpatine spinning around in one of his many treasured chairs, laughing and pushing himself to go faster and faster.

I stare at him in pure shock, unable to articulate any speech. In front of me, I can hear Obi-wan start to laugh. I might have laughed with him if the situation wasn't so disturbing. As I manage to find my voice, I yell, "What the hell are you doing?"

Palpatine stops abruptly and falls off his chair. I rush over to help my lord and master, and all of the while I can still hear Obi-wan's annoying laughter.

"Are you alright?" I ask with genuine concern.

"I'm fine," he replies, "just help me up!" I offer him my hand and help him back into his chair.

"Uh, you can let go now," I say, trying to pry my hand out of his vice-like grip.

"Oh, yes, okay then," he says, releasing me. "Now then, why did you need to see me?"

"It's Obi-wan, my Lord, I have found him. I told you I felt him."

"Hmm," he begins slowly, "it is strange that I did not."

"Oh, well here!" I say, dragging Obi-wan over towards Palpatine. "There you go, feel him."

"Um, that's okay. But … can I feel you instead?" he asks hopefully. Obi-wan gives me a strange look.

"Er, no," I say, backing away slightly.

"So," Obi-wan chimes in, "is this what the mighty Sith do in their free time? I should've joined Dooku after all - spinning in chairs looks like fun."

"Kenobi," Palpatine replies coldly, "it looks like your escape was … successful," he says, his words dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh yes," says Obi-wan, "the food at that party was exceptional. Much better than that Bantha fodder they serve down in my cell."

Palpatine simply glares at Obi-wan for a moment, and I can feel the anger emanating from him at this insolence. Never taking his eyes off of the man at my side, he says, "I think we should kill him."

To my surprise, Obi-wan's smile doesn't even falter.

"With all due respect, my master," I begin, "Kenobi could very well be a vital source of information for our cause." Palpatine finally looks away from Obi-wan as he turns to face me. "The rebellion has been gaining strength for some time now, and as one of the last remaining Jedi, I think we may be able to … persuade him to tell us something of importance."

Palpatine stares at me for a moment, seemingly trying to work up a response in his head. "Damn…." He mutters at last. "Fine, Lord Vader, I will allow that he stays until we can extract something of value from him. Take him back to his cell in the meantime, and make sure that he can't escape again."

"Yes, my master," I say with a bow.

"Yes my master," I hear Obi-wan grumble in a mocking voice. "Gag me."

"Shut up," I whisper, pulling him back across the room.

"You know," he says, ignoring my obvious irritation, "a few plants in this place would really brighten it up a bit. It's just so dark."

I look over at him, pulling him once more through the doorway. He is glancing at the grey walls around us, each cast in irremovable, never-ending shadows. As the doors clangs shut behind us, as I lead him back to his holding cell, I consider telling him about Bob.

'No,' I think to myself. 'A Sith would not lower himself to such things.'

"It's called the Dark Side, Obi-wan," I say brusquely.

'The Dark Side...'

Authors' note- Well, there it is! And it's longer … an added bonus! Don't break our hearts (or try to choke us to death with the Force, 'cause that just sucks), reviews are much appreciated.