Disclaimer: George Lucas, you rock, I ran, and thank the Force for Star Wars!

Authors' Note- Why were there so little reviews for chapter four? Was it really that bad? Well, even if the story's bad, please review to say it's crap because we're desperate.

Thanks to: Rono- You loved chapter four! Good, we did too! No one else really seemed to like it as much. You have gotta be the coolest person ever! We were freaked out when you didn't review at first, but we totally understand and we appreciate that you've taken the time to review our fic. You're a wonderful reviewer, thanks! QueenMeep- We love that you loved that line! It was collaboration on both our parts so we're proud that you liked that particular one. Oh! And thank you so much for being such a loyal reviewer! KillinBuddy- We're too speechless to respond to your review. MercutioArcher- You are insane and you scare us! But your reviews make us laugh so keep it up and we love that you read our story. How the heck did Anakin's cologne crop up again? Just wondering…. Do Jedi even have cologne? Red Paint- You make us feel loved … you pity us!

We love reviews! Thanks to everyone for reading and we hope you can just take a little time to respond. This chapter dedicated to KillinBuddy! Happy Birthday you wonderful, wonderful freak!

An Unexpected Guest

Chapter 5

The walk back from Obi-wan's cell gives me a lot of time to think, and not just about the difficult task of brushing my teeth, which, contrary to popular belief, I do have.

'What am I doing with my life? Why am I doing this?' I ask myself.

'You're running the galaxy, you have brought peace and justice to the Republic,' I say, trying to reason with myself, although I don't feel totally convinced. 'What Republic? There is no Republic anymore. Only this, this Empire... What are you doing?' a small voice deep inside of me asks.

I quickly push these thoughts away, and as I do so I realize that I have no clue where I am. I look around for something familiar, but nothing looks remotely identifiable here. I must have taken a wrong turn somewhere. "This is all Obi-wan's fault," I mutter beneath my breath. "Before he showed up I could navigate my way through this stupid thing!"

As I'm frantically searching for some clue as to where I am, I see a storm trooper approaching me.

"Lord Vader!" he says. "I thought you'd be on your way back to the party by now. This one's going pretty late and everyone has been hoping you'd return after you caught Kenobi."

"Er, yeah, right," I say, trying not to be too obvious in having no idea where I am. "I was just on my way now."

"Oh, great!" says the clone, "Fett sent me out to look for you. I can walk back with you if you want."

Trying my hardest not to seem too relieved, while at the same time trying to restrain myself from strangling the trooper for the insinuation that I would need someone to walk with me, I respond, "Sure."

So we start off together down the corridor, his random comments about the party thankfully drowning out any of the confusing thoughts I had had earlier. After a while, I begin to recognize some of the things around me and once again I feel comfortable and at ease. My clone escort is telling me about some of the practical jokes being put into place by my guests, who have apparently begun some sort of battle consisting of whoopee cushions and the like. I find it increasingly hilarious, as I'm reminded of my days as a Padawan when I used to play pranks on Obi-wan. However, then he mentions something that causes my stomach to turn over painfully.

"And as if that wasn't enough," he says in some tirade about a clone throwing a pair of underwear at Boba and screaming 'Hey look, the Emperor's stripping now!' "some of the guys also decided to pee in a cup of that punch on the table. We don't know what happened to it, though. It was greener than the others, but we turned around for one second and it was gone." He chuckles to himself. "Some poor idiot prob – er, Lord Vader sir?" he breaks off, looking at me with concern.

I have stooped in my tracks, a strong urge to vomit overwhelming me. 'I drank what?'

"Uh, are you alright?" he says.

I push him aside hurriedly and sprint to the nearest bathroom, leaving him stunned and confused behind me. Throwing open the door without any idea of how I would throw up into a toilet through this blasted mask, I dash inside and run straight into –

"Obi-wan!" I shout, frustrated and utterly confused to see him standing before me.

He rubs his head from the collision and then looks up at me and says, "Again, maybe you should consider a new mask or something. You really don't appear too adept at seeing through this one."

All thoughts of vomiting wiped from my mind, I stammer, "How the hell did you escape again? I made sure –"

"Ahh, only in your mind my young ex-apprentice gone evil!"

"How did you get out?" I demand.

"Now, Anakin," he begins in a voice of annoying superiority, "does a young Padawan (if there were any left) tell his master how he's cheating in his classes? Of course not, so why would I tell you this?"

"Because if you don't I'll torture you," I say with a menacing step toward him.

"Go ahead," he says, "but can you wait to zap me with your sparks until after my shower?"

I pause, confused at these words. "Y-your what?" I ask.

"My shower. To put it bluntly, I've been really smelly lately and I fancied a shower."

I stare at him. "There's no way I can allow you to take a shower … Kenobi," I add as an afterthought.

"Oh come on, Anakin, I really smell! Here, smell me," he insists, holding an arm in front of my face.

"I'm not going to smell you!" I say, appalled.

"Come on! Smell me! Wait … can you even smell? Do you still have a nose?"

"Oh shut up," I say, grabbing his arm roughly and bringing it closer. After a few sniffs I can only agree with the man.

"You smell repulsive," I say, dropping his arm.

"Told you."

"Fine," I sigh. "You can take a shower. I'll wait here to bring you back when you're done."

He starts walking to the end of the wide bathroom.

"But make it quick!" I shout to him. "Palpatine says we're in a drought!"

Obi-wan, totally ignoring my drought warning, emerges from the shower 25 minutes later.

"What took you so long?" I ask, annoyed.

"Well, I haven't bathed in so long, and it was just such a lovely shower!"

"Whatever," I mumble through my mask, "at least he smells better."

"Why was there a rubber duck in the tub?" Obi-wan asks with the most innocent expression I have ever seen. "Is that your ducky Anakin?"

I choke. 'Stupid Palpatine. I've asked him a million times not to leave Phil in the bathroom!'

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lie. Obi-wan raises an eyebrow.

"Sure, Anakin."

We walk along in silence for a while, slowly proceeding toward Obi-wan's holding cell. As I'm desperately trying to think of a way to explain the rubber ducky, Obi-wan., out of nowhere, says, "Why did you guess Ki-Adi-Mundi?"

"W-what?" I stumble, surprised at the sudden topic change, not to mention the topic itself.

"When I covered your ey – er – eyeholes. Why did you guess Ki-Adi-Mundi? Really, Anakin, that Jedi has been dead for years," he says with a solemn, serious expression that I've almost missed for the past few days of his odd and sarcastic behavior.

"I don't know," I begin, "it was just the first name that came to mind. Why did you pretend not to even know what I was talking about?"

He shrugs. "I was in the moment."

Not understanding this statement whatsoever, I decide to ignore it rather than dignify it with a response. As we arrive at his cell, I instead ask, "What did he look like as a Padawan? Ki-Adi-Mundi, I mean. What was he like?"

"Why do you want to know?" says Obi-wan with a questioning glance.

"Just curious."

He continues to look at me weird, but eventually replies, "Well, I saw a holograph of him once as a Padawan. That head does not look good with a braid, let me tell you … very disturbing."

I nod absently, not sure, as I am about a lot of things lately, what I did even ask. After absolutely making sure that he can't escape again, I leave Obi-wan once more, my head weighed down with questions I don't know how to answer.

Snape.

Authors' note- Hey, thanks again for reading! No idea when the next one will be up, but find some lucky pennies and keep them safe somewhere until you have enough to afford some grand vacation. Okay, random, but it is a good idea! Don't slaughter anyone like animals, and have a great day!