Disclaimer: Yippee! Kudos to George for the return of that unbelievably scary expression for excitement! Where would we be without you?

Authors' Note- Chapter 6! Anyone looking to avoid more awkward, odd moments between Vader and Palpatine, well, I suggest you skip the end!

Thanks to: Rono- Cool! We hope we're about to make your decision even harder with chapter six! You're praise rocks, you rock! I like cows. QueenMeep- Very perceptive! You totally got it. Lauren still has yet to fully get it, so yay for you! More awkward moments with Palpatine to come! KillinBuddy- GOF rocks! You're the only one so far that's said anything about Snape! Oh yeah, and Lauren doesn't know what the heck 'GOF' means. MercutioArcher- I love your theory for how Anakin got his scar! I've been wondering about that…. You scare the crap out of Lauren. Thanks for reviewing! RowenaIsolde- Don't die! We need you to keep reading! Thanks! ChaosMagician1- YOU SOUND BRITISH! Please still read our story! Thanks for the review! swiftykenobi- So glad to make your day! Go Phil! fire mage14- Well, thaank you for the review! Elena 22- Wow, neither can we! Princess-Aiel- Palpatine does look like plastic … hmmm.

An Unexpected Guest

Chapter 6

I wake the next morning with the feeling that I never slept. All night I've been searching my brain for any way that Obi-wan could be escaping. Even now, my mind is muddled with insane theory after insane theory.

'Maybe he whittled his toothbrush into the shape of a key,' I propose to myself. 'Or he could've smuggled a family of Correlian mice onboard in his robe and has trained them to pick the lock with their tiny brown forepaws...'

I am brought out of my musings when I hear a knock at the door.

"Who is it?" I ask.

"Boba," comes the response.

"Come in, come in! What are you doing here this early?" I say, hurriedly trying to put my cape on as he opens the door.

"Just stopped by to tell you about all the fun we had at the party last night! Why didn't you come back?"

Well, Kenobi escaped again, and then wanted a shower, and that pretty much took up the rest of my evening. I wish I could figure out how he keeps getting out," I say, vaguely aware of how this sounds like Obi-wan is a pet that keeps getting loose out by the vaporators or something.

"Hmm…," Boba begins, "Why don't you just throw another party and see if you can catch him trying to sneak in?"

I have a feeling that Boba is only saying this so that he can attend another party, but regardless of his intentions it does sound like a reasonable idea.

"Alright," I agree, "tonight might work. I can station a few clones around the area to keep an eye out for him. Of course, I'll have to notify Palpatine first…."

"Uh, yeah, about that," Boba begins with an odd sort of involuntary shudder, "maybe you shouldn't invite Lord Sidious this time."

I feel a slight sense of anger and indignation. "What? Why not?"

"Well, er … um … never mind."

"No, what?" I press, anxious to hear why exactly Boba wouldn't want my master to attend. Although, in the back of my mind, a faint image of a graying pair of underwear is already taking shape.

"The break-dancing freaked me out, okay!" he snaps agitatedly.

I nod knowingly. "Alright," I sigh, "I won't tell Palpatine about the party if you don't let him know that Obi-wan got out again. Hey," I add, patting his shoulder as he gives me a still-shaken look of compliance, "it's okay. I promise you that you won't see him do anything like that ever again."

"Really?"

"I'll talk to him," I say reassuringly.

Boba takes a deep breath. "Okay, good."

He departs and I take a seat on my bed. 'Soon,' I tell myself. 'Soon I'll know how he's escaping.'

But even as I set to work on planning for yet another party, a small voice inside of me says that I will never know. Even after all the years of working alongside Obi-wan, it seems that I don't know him anymore. Maybe I never did.

Throwing another party is easier than I thought it would be. All of the clones seemed quite excited at the idea of partying again instead of wandering aimlessly around the Death Star trying to look busy. They were also very secretive about the event around the Emperor. It seems that nobody wants a repeat of the last time.

This party looks almost better that the last two. The food smells delicious (although I will be avoiding the punch tonight), the music is great and best of all, I will finally discover how Obi-wan keeps escaping from his cell. I certainly didn't throw this party for cake and dancing … I have work to do. I see Boba over on the dance floor and I rush over to discuss my plan with him.

"Lord Vader," he greets, "ready for operation Bean Farmer?"

"Er, Bean Farmer?"

"Yeah, it's our code, cool huh?"

"Uh, sure, anyway … I'm going to start searching for Kenobi. Make sure all of the entrances are covered, alright?"

"Of course, sir. The operation shall commence."

Rolling my eyes, I stride off of the dance floor and head toward the long table crowded with cups of punch and platters of food. Perhaps if Obi-wan does find a way in, he will attempt to sneak up on me again. I station myself before the table, staring at it, unmoving, waiting. I reach out into the Force, letting it wash over me and guide my senses. As I near the border between concentration and an all out meditative trance, I at last feel someone approaching. Before he can reach out to tap my shoulder, I spin sharply on the spot and bellow, "Ah ha!"

A stunned and frightened looking general from one of the star ships backs away slightly. "Er, my apologies, Lord Vader. I didn't mean to, uh, startle you or something," he says, clearly fearing for my sanity.

I look at him for a moment, confused beyond belief. I could have sworn that Obi-wan, well, no matter.

Apparently my silence has done nothing to ease the general's obvious anxiety over my sudden outburst. All eyes in the now distinctly quiet room are upon us as he says, "You – uh – you've been standing in the same place for nearly 15 minutes, staring at that plate of shuura fruit."

I glance around at the guests, most looking fearful, others, like Boba, sniggering behind their hands. "Oh," I begin simply. "Well, er, yes. I was just - uh - I have to use the restroom. If you would please excuse me –"

I launch myself at the door, catching small parts of whispered conversations as I move past the countless staring eyes.

"He's so weird…."

"Can he even go to the bathroom?"

The peace and quiet of the corridor outside relaxes me slightly. I sigh, deciding that I should perhaps search for Obi-wan elsewhere, at least until the commotion at the party subsides.

'Where would Obi-wan go?' I ask silently. 'If he's gathering information for the rebels, he would need to search somewhere important, go straight to the source.'

"Palpatine," I mutter indistinctly as the solution suddenly dawns on me. "He would search Palpatine's office, his quarters."

Coming to a proper conclusion, I set off down the hall. The walk to his chambers is not a long one, but because I need to catch Obi-wan, I decide to take it at a run. I sprint heavily down the hall, my cape flowing out behind me. A couple of clones passing look at me like I'm crazy, but I could really care less. When I finally do reach Palpatine's chambers I am out of breath. As I'm about to knock on the door, Palpatine abruptly opens it.

"Geez, is something dying out here?" He says, referring to the heavy breathing slicing through my mask.

"No…." Wheeze. "I was just running…." Breathe. "I came to see you," I manage to choke out.

"Really?" his face lights up. "You came running to see me?"

"Uh, sort of," I say, finally getting my breathing under control. "It's Obi-wan, my Lord. I have reason to believe that he may try to break into your office and steal certain of the plans or documents that are pivotal to the survival of the Empire. May I come in and have a look around?" I say.

He gives me a slightly doubtful look, and I suppose he must be rather angry with me for even allowing the chance that Obi-wan could break into his chambers. To my surprise, however, his face cracks into a grin and he says, "Sure, come on in, I'll help you."

I walk past him as he holds open the door and enter the room. His chambers, as if they could be anything less, are immaculate, wide, and set for his formal dealings with the many systems of the galaxy. Although, as I look at his chair, I cannot erase the image of him spinning around and around out of my mind. That is, until something even more disturbing catches my eye.

"Uh, what's this?" I ask, picking up a doll that looks very similar to myself. "It kind of looks like me!"

"That's nothing!" Palpatine snaps, snatching the dark figure from my hands. "Uh … why don't we go to my bedroom?" he says, obviously trying to change the subject.

"What?" I say my mind still on the creepy doll.

"To find Kenobi. He could be in my bedroom."

"Why?"

"Well, I, erm, keep a lot of … important stuff in there," he says, winking at me for some reason and leading me toward it.

His room, hidden behind two menacing steel doors, is different than I expected. Judging from the office in the previous room, I would have pictured something more formal, more structured, and rigid. In this room, however, my eyes are met with a plethora of items I can only call exquisite. The walls are ornately decorated with all manner of artifacts from all over the galaxy. This is why I've always respected Emperor Palpatine. He has such a presence of unity, of open-mindedness that I never saw in the Jedi Order. He is so distinguished, and gives off an air of sophistication worthy of admiration.

"Well, he's not under the bed!" Palpatine screeches as he gets down on his hands and knees to search. He seems to be bending down pointedly, thrusting his butt into the air in my direction.

"Uh," I begin, "I think you have a stain on your robes."

He looks at me questioningly, appearing almost disappointed for a moment until I nod toward the red smear on his backside.

"Damn jelly doughnuts," he grumbles, turning around swiftly. "So, uh, Lord Vader," he starts again, awkwardly getting to his feet, "er, maybe you should come and sit on the bed."

"What? Why?"

He moves to plop down on the plush sheets of the enormous structure and says, "Well, obviously there's a much better view of the closet from here! The angle's perfect for spotting anyone inside. Come, have a look!"

I sit myself beside him and survey every inch of the closet from this position, my keen eyes desperate to find Obi-wan. Once I have discerned that he is nowhere in sight, however, I sigh and turn back to face my master – who is suddenly much closer to me now. I stare at him in surprise as he looks up at me avidly. Before I can begin to say anything though, the doors to the room open once more.

"Lord Vader, sir." It is Boba. "I heard you came down here to look for Kenobi, b-."

He breaks off suddenly as he registers the scene before him, and then, in an action that takes me completely by surprise, he begins to wail.

"Oh my – I-I'm sorry!" he shouts, covering his eyes. "Oh, oh, eewww! I, well, EEEWWWW!"

"Boba, what is it?" I exclaim, at a loss for why he's acting like such a deranged lunatic. But for all the good it does. He continues to holler and yell in jumbled, inarticulate sentences.

"Y-you promised! More bad images! Underwear…. And how do you even …? No, no I don't want to know…."

"BOBA!" I boom over his endless, senseless words. "I did come here to look for Kenobi! Do you have any news?"

This approach seems to work somewhat well. He stops shouting at any rate, although his hands are still pressed firmly to his eyes.

"I –er- well, he's not-."

"Not what, Boba?"

"He's not, um, w-well at the moment. Got, erm, a cold or s-something. He never, um, left his cell."

With that, Boba rushes from the room, leaving Palpatine looking a little put out and me still baffled by his behavior.

'Sick,' I think to myself. 'Obi-wan is Sick?'

Authors' note- Ha ha! Another chapter! I just realized that we say 'awkward' a lot. If awkward was Beetlejuice, we'd be talking to him right now! (Give me a break, it's late.) Anyway, thanks as always for reading and please review. Oh, and if you want to see what our thoughts are as we're writing each chapter, or even just what to find out who the hell Lauren and Kaely are, just check out our profile page. Save the world, plant a Bob. See ya!