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Anakin made his way down the ramp and towards the others. He bowed. "Masters, Padme." He drank in the sight of his beautiful wife.
Mace nodded. "Skywalker."
Yoda turned his hoverpad towards the Temple entrance. "Come children, Obi-Wan. Go inside we will."
Anakin didn't like the sound of that. "What do you mean 'go inside?'"
Obi-Wan turned back to his friend. "The children are going to be staying with me a while, Anakin."
"What? Here at the Temple?" Why couldn't they go to an orphanage or something?
Padme could tell Anakin was upset, though she couldn't understand why. The younger children clung to Obi-Wan. Padme's eyes widened. They're afraid of Anakin!
Anakin had been acting strange ever since the children had come into the picture. Obi-Wan didn't know what to make of it. "Yes, here at the Temple. We will discuss the details later."
Anakin knew better than to say anything more. When Obi-Wan used that tone of voice, he meant business. He noticed Yoda and Mace studying him. He always felt like he was being dissected with their eyes. They didn't trust him and he knew it.
Padme had watched the whole scene with growing unease. The change in everyone's demeanor once Anakin arrived had been palpable, with the exception of Obi-Wan. The amusement and peace had left the eyes of Masters Yoda and Windu. And fear and distrust had entered the eyes of the children. She didn't like it. She didn't like it at all. It was confirming some doubts that had been starting to form in her mind about her husband.
Anakin watched as the group left, leaving him and Padme alone. He wanted to hug and kiss her, but knew he couldn't out in the open like this. "I've missed you so much!"
"I've missed you, too. You were gone a long time."
"Too long." Anakin glanced at the Temple. "I better go. The Council will expect a briefing. Plus, I need to talk to Obi-Wan. I'll see you tonight."
"Okay. Try not to take too long." Padme was really beginning to hate all this hiding. But she knew it couldn't be helped. They had jumped into this situation with their eyes wide open and they'd have to deal with the consequences.
"I promise." Anakin quickly walked back into the Temple. He wanted to talk with Obi-Wan before having to meet with the Council.
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Padme was getting her affairs ready for her stay at the Temple. She was making a list of all the things she would need to take with her. She was really looking forward to this. Padme was eager to have a first-hand look at the everyday lives of the Jedi. She had always thought highly of them – especially considering how often and how quickly they had come to her aid in the past. But she knew that some of her high regard had been diminished by Anakin's cynicism.
Anakin was talking more and more negatively about the Jedi Order. He said they were too unemotional, too rigid, too orderly, that they didn't care about him, they didn't appreciate him, etc. He was even starting to talk more negatively about Obi-Wan. Of course, he had done some of that before they were married. But she had chalked it up to frustration and an eagerness to be a Knight. She also hadn't known Obi-Wan well at that time. All she had really known was what Anakin had told her. But the more she had gotten to know Obi-Wan, the more she realized that the picture Anakin had painted couldn't possibly be right.
Anakin's feelings toward Obi-Wan were quite the odd mix. He loved him and yet he resented him. He was protective of him and yet he was jealous of him. He respected him and yet he diminished his accomplishments. He admired him, yet seemed to think that Obi-Wan was incapable of succeeding at anything unless he was there to help him. Anakin once commented that winning an argument with Obi-Wan was impossible because he was pretty much always right. But even so, Anakin refused to listen to him. Padme didn't know what to make of it. It didn't make any sense to her.
Padme had to admit a few things to herself now that the stars were out of her eyes. Living with someone, even if only for short periods, had a tendency to bring one back from the clouds to see things as they really were. She loved Anakin very much, but there were things about him that were really starting to worry her. What happened at the Temple landing platform earlier had set those worries into overdrive. Children could be very perceptive about people, seeing things that adults just couldn't see. What did those kids see in Anakin? Plus, the demeanor of the two lead Council members toward Anakin spoke volumes.
Padme thought back to the admission Anakin had made after his mother died. He had killed an entire camp full of Sand People, including women and children. He was in so much pain and she had wanted to comfort him. But killing innocent beings! She had tried to tell herself that he was grieving. People do things they wouldn't normally do. She had ignored the warning bells going off in her mind.
Padme thought of herself and what she would do in a similar circumstance. Would she be capable of that kind of behavior? No. Even in grief, she would never have done such a thing. There was still right and wrong, even in the height of those emotions. Her conscience would never abide taking revenge so viciously. So where was Anakin's conscience that fateful day? Where was the restraint that should have kept him from acting like the monsters who had tortured his mother to death?
The questions about that incident were coming up again because of the changes Padme was noticing in her husband. He hardly ever smiled anymore and he laughed even less. It had been like that ever since his mother's death. He was serious all the time and easily angered. Every time Anakin came back from a mission, he was further removed from the young man she had laughed and played with on Naboo. His emotions were always boiling right beneath the surface, ready to burst forth. He wasn't acting anything like a Jedi. It scared her. Back when she first met him as a child, he had wanted nothing more than to become a Jedi. He was so excited, so eager to learn. What happened to that? Anakin had been so nonchalant, so willing to break the Code that he had vowed to uphold. Of course, she couldn't hold only him responsible. She was equally guilty.
Padme now felt remorse for her part in betraying the Jedi. She and Anakin had gone and done something that was explicitly forbidden. And they now had to continue that betrayal by hiding it. What really hurt Padme was having to hide it from Obi-Wan. They were betraying him. But they couldn't tell him now. If they did, it would place Obi-Wan in a horrible position. It would be his duty as a member of the Council to bring that kind of betrayal to the Council's attention. And Obi-Wan would. Even though it would tear him apart inside, he would do it. They had no doubt that Obi-Wan suspected something was going on between them. He was an intelligent and insightful Jedi Master. They also knew that he was probably turning a blind eye because he didn't want to know any more than he already did. He didn't want to be placed in that position, either.
Padme knew that she and Anakin should have thought about all these repercussions before they acted. She had been right to hold Anakin at arms length when he had first told her of his feelings. She should have stuck to her guns. She should have remembered her duty to her people and thought less about herself. She should never have allowed the power of Anakin's passion to sweep her off her feet. Padme sighed, putting her head in her hands. Why was she so plagued with doubts and regrets?
Padme knew she had to hide these feelings from her husband. She feared what would happen if he even had an inkling of what was going through her mind. He was possessive and obsessive about her. It had been kind of exciting at first. She'd never had a man be that way about her before. But now it was getting a little creepy, and not just a little annoying. She did not like being thought of as a thing to possess. Anakin was so jealous! He'd even had a fit one time because she met with a male senator alone in her office. A glance from another man was sometimes enough to set him off.
Padme got up to go pack. She needed to get busy and stop thinking for a while. She needed her focus uninhibited if she was to shield her husband from her doubts and fears. She also needed to prepare for Anakin's reaction to finding out she'd be staying with Obi-Wan and the children at the Temple. It probably wouldn't be pretty.
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Anakin walked through the hallways towards the Council Chamber. He had just come from the meditation gardens, hoping to find his calm center before going before the Council. His discussion with Obi-Wan had not gone well, to say the least. Anakin did not understand his former master's commitment to personally helping those kids! The Team was now grounded here at the Temple because Obi-Wan wanted to play the merciful benefactor!
Anakin's anger and frustration had practically exploded, however, when Obi-Wan informed him that Padme would be staying in the Temple for a while to watch the kids while Obi-Wan attended to his duties. HIS Padme would be staying in Obi-Wan's apartment! Such a thing was absolutely unheard of at the Temple! But no one seemed to think anything of it. This was Obi-Wan Kenobi, after all! HE could be trusted. Anakin's eyes flamed. The Council would never trust ME like that!
Anakin's thoughts returned to the tense exchange between himself and his former master. It had taken place in Obi-Wan's apartment. The children had been in the bedroom, while he and Obi-Wan were in the living area. The children most likely heard every word of Anakin's angry verbal assault. Obi-Wan rarely lost his temper, but Anakin could tell that he had come pretty close. His normally brilliant blue eyes had clouded to a steely blue-gray. His normally soothing and pleasant voice had turned low and tight when he said, "Leave my apartment, Anakin. And don't bother coming back until you're willing to act like a Jedi." That comment had been like a slap across the face. Obi-Wan had never spoken to him like that before. Anakin felt a stab of guilt. How would you expect him to react, you idiot? You verbally attacked him! He really hated the thought of Obi-Wan being angry with him. Obi-Wan was supposed to be the calm one, the ever-forgiving one.
Anakin took a deep, steadying breath as he approached the Council Chamber. He put up his thick mental walls, hoping to keep his bubbling emotions under wraps. His presence was announced and he was quickly beckoned in. As he walked in, he noticed that Obi-Wan's chair was empty. Did Obi-Wan tell the Masters of their disagreement?Anakin bowed to the two lead Council members, all the while hating having to make the gesture. "Where is Master Obi-Wan?"
Mace regarded Anakin coolly. "He has been excused from this meeting. Having been with you on Kataan, we hardly felt that he needed to be briefed."
"Of course, Masters." Anakin didn't like Mace Windu, and he knew the feeling was mutual. He went into the briefing and answered their questions, wanting nothing more than to go make amends with Obi-Wan.
"Now, briefed on your new mission you will be." Yoda kept his sleepy eyes focused on the young knight.
Anakin's mask of calm was dropped. "What new mission? I thought Obi-Wan…"
"Yes, Obi-Wan will be staying here at the Temple for a while. But that does not mean that YOU will be." A little bit of irritation showed in Mace's eyes.
"Needed here you are not. Needed elsewhere your skills are."
They're breaking up The Team? Anakin didn't like the idea of being away from Obi-Wan for that long. What if he needs me? Granted, not much could happen here at the Temple. But trouble always seemed to have a way of finding his former master, no matter where he was. He had saved Obi-Wan's life a few times before. What if something happened and he wasn't here to stop it?
"You will leave for Fembrak the day after tomorrow. It's a planet near the Outer Rim…"
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Anakin touched the buzzer with his shaking hand. A moment later, the door opened to reveal Obi-Wan. Anakin immediately noticed the pain deep in the man's eyes – pain that that he had inflicted. He swallowed down the lump in his throat. "Master, I …" He then noticed the children sitting at the dinner table, watching him with barely concealed distaste.
Obi-Wan turned towards the children. "Go ahead and keep eating. I'll be right back." He stepped out into the hallway and let the door close. He leaned back against the wall, arms folded across his chest. Obi-Wan studied his former apprentice. He could feel the guilt emanating from him. He patiently waited as the young man obviously tried to build up the courage to speak.
"I…I apologize for my behavior, Master. I had no right to speak to you the way I did. I don't really know what's gotten into me. I've been kind of frustrated since we came across those kids."
"I've noticed. The question is why?"
Anakin winced. He would have to ask that. "It's just…I felt…I hardly had any time to be alone with you in all the time we were on Kataan. The kids were always with you, except, of course, when we were in combat." Anakin paused, groping for the right words. "I guess I'm remembering a time when I was the one you looked after like that. When I was the one who had your focus."
"Anakin, things change. You're a full Knight now. There may come a time when we will only see each other in passing. That is the way of our lives." Obi-Wan put his hand on Anakin's shoulder. "But even when that happens, we will always share a bond. You are my brother and my best friend. That is something that is irreplaceable."
Anakin felt about an inch tall. He'd been such a jerk! But at the same time, he felt relief and joy. He and Obi-Wan shared a bond that could never be broken, by anyone or anything. "Thank you, Master. I feel the same way."
Obi-Wan let his hand drop as his face turned serious. "Your emotional controls are not nearly where they should be, Anakin. That is something you must master if you are to progress as a Jedi."
"I know." Anakin hung his head. "I've betrayed your teaching."
"This isn't about ME, Anakin. It's about your life as a Jedi. You…disappointed me with your behavior this afternoon. But I have every confidence that you WILL master your emotions and become a great Jedi Knight."
Anakin gave him a weak smile. "Thank you, Master."
"I should get back to the children. I've heard that you will be leaving for Fembrak in a couple of days. I better see you before you go." Obi-Wan gave him a mock-stern look.
"You will, Master." Anakin retreated down the hallway, turmoil crushing through his mind. Obi-Wan's words should have been encouraging, but Anakin couldn't get past that one phrase, 'You disappointed me…' Nothing felt worse than knowing he had disappointed his master. Anakin distractedly made his way to the landing platform and his speeder. He really needed to talk with Padme.