Disclaimer: For inventing a button that has seemingly thousands of uses and purposes, thank you George Lucas. We officially owe our insanity and our non-lives to you.

Authors' Note- We may be a little delayed for a while due to the holidays and such, so don't panic (as I sound completely conceited here) because our lack of things to do will eventually cause us to post again as soon as possible.

Thanks to: QueenMeep- You put the 're' back in review! KillinBuddy- Your pillows weren't soft. MercutioArcher- Well I can see we'll be taking you to our next story! The Death Star is the party center of the galaxy! ShadowCaster360- Alright, alright. Er, so just out of curiosity, what's your favorite dessert? And, you know, do you like the Beatles? Hey, just wondering, what is the capital of your country? Thanks for the review and have a good (rainy?) day! Princess-Aiel- You suck … Colorado's cold. Thanks for reviewing! Bean-Bean- Give Star Wars a chance! Inyuasha sucks. nicoley117- People look at us weird all the time, especially when we play with the lightsabers we bought each other for Christmas. Vika- Everybody's insane, they just don't know it yet! Jediklutz- Uh, thanks. padmenaberrie32- Congrats for noticing the Snape insert … not many people commented on that. It's some weird inside joke. You're slightly scary, but we like you and thanks for the reviews.

An Unexpected Guest

Chapter 9

"Okay," says Obi-wan as we begin pacing in a circle, sizing each other up, "now when I say, 'I have the high ground,' I mean, 'I have the high ground,'alright? Did you understand me? You sure you heard me clearly this time?"

"I got it!" I snap, involuntarily flinching at the invisible flames of the past.

"Alright, I just thought I'd make sure. Wait a moment!" he adds, stopping suddenly and looking quite annoyed. "Why do we always do the circling thing?"

"What?" I say, also coming to an abrupt halt.

"This!" Obi-wan says, making odd circling hand gestures to indicate how we had just been pacing. "It makes me dizzy!"

"I don't know," I reply. This had never occurred to me before. Why do we circle all the time? "Er, you want to just start fighting then?" I ask.

"You're asking me if I just want to start fighting? Really Anakin, have I taught you nothing? You don't ask your opponent if he's ready to fight you just, you know, do it!"

"I was only saying that because –," but I am cut off as Obi-wan lunges at me, lightsaber glowing in hand. I am caught off guard, but manage to block his attack in the knick of time.

"Hey!" I yell. "I wasn't ready!"

"Geez Anakin, that was my point in attacking you. Joining the Dark Side sure seems to have made you rather soft."

"Soft?" I ask, outraged.

"Yup, at least when you were a Jedi you were more prepared for battle."

"I have gained more power as a Sith than I ever could as a Jedi!"

"Yeah, I'm sure you have Anakin. By the way, is it hard to walk with fake legs?" Obi-wan asks innocently.

"I have -," I begin only to change my mind mid-sentence. Why bother even responding to that? "Say what you will Obi-wan, it won't change the fact that I am going to destroy you at last."

"Only if you squish me with your big stupid legs…," I hear him mutter grimly as he lunges for another attack.

Ready for it this time, I dodge swiftly to avoid the brilliant blue blade. Soon we are engaged in a fierce battle, my breath coming in steady, wheezing gasps and our blades slicing through the air in two imperceptible blurs. The swiftness with which Obi-wan parries each blow surprises me somewhat. I know that I am certainly not as in shape as I used to be and I half-expected that he too would be more inclined to defend himself with mere futile taps and waves, especially under the weight of a cold. It appears, however, that Obi-wan is as skilled as ever, moving in the calculated, infuriating manner that I've come to know and hate. I aim to catch him in the leg as he leaps upon Palpatine's desk, but he tumbles aside, causing my blade to instead cut right through the enormous thrown-like chair on the other side.

"Yikes," says Obi-wan with a grimace as I myself hear the forthcoming echoes of a screaming, raging Master Sidious. "I doubt Palpatine will appreciate that."

I stare into his now broadly grinning face and shrug. "I'll just tell him you did it."

To my utter bewilderment, Obi-wan rolls his eyes before sighing, "See, this is why you're on the Dark Side … can't even take responsibility for your own actions."

"Really?" I challenge. "I thought it was because I was betrayed by those I thought I could trust." I bring my lightsaber down quickly as he moves to strike on my left. "I thought it was because the woman I loved was about to be taken from me."

He spins on the spot, catching my next blow before it has a chance to reach its target, and then pauses to gawk at me in disbelief. "Wow, your thoughts are really off. How the hell did you come up with those conclusions?"

I am forced backward toward the chamber doors as Obi-wan drives inexorably forward, battling fiercely against each of my attacks. "I mean, we didn't kill your children," he continues. "How did you do it, Anakin? What did you say – 'here little younglings, I'll give you some candy before I cut off your heads?'"

"Would you cut it out with the younglings already!" I shout, stopping suddenly before Obi-wanwho takes this momentary lapse to grasp at a stitch in his side."I mean, come on! 'Killing younglings! What was that, he killed younglings? I can't believe he killed younglings!' I slaughtered an entire village of sandpeople too, and nobody's complained about that!"

"So that's why they don't like me," Obi-wan mutters pensively.

I start to respond, not exactly sure what I want to say, but am saved the agony of doing so as a completely new sensation takes over. I'm hot. All of a sudden I feel a sort of tingling burn and flashbacks of lava rivers, flaming debris, and barren landscapes invade my mind.

"Uh, Anakin," Obi-wan says, "you're on fire."

"What!" I cry. He points mutely to my cape which, sure enough, is crawling with ravenous flames. I tear it off in a complete moment of panic and throw it to the ground to stomp out the spreading fire.

"Stupid Palpatine and his stupid candles," I grumble, blowing out the slim pink tapers with a mere breath.

Obi-wan stares at me, apparently dumbfounded. "And you didn't know he was gay?"

"Just drop it Obi-wan." I swing my lightsaber forward, and once more we are caught in a ferocious battle, bursting now through the double doors and into the corridor beyond.

We continue to fight mercilessly down the long corridor, our lightsabers glowing blindingly bright amid the dim light of the Death Star. I want to win this fight so badly, to show Obi-wan that I have become more powerful, to get him out of my life forever. I had finally gotten used to my life, had started to forget the past and move on. All he's done is confuse me, and although I know killing him will not help in the slightest now, I don't care.

Somehow we manage to reach the end of the hallway with all of our limbs in tact. Unfortunately for me, however, Obi-wan has also managed to back me into a corner.

"Ready to give up yet?" he asks, panting.

Out of the corner of my eye I glimpse I doorway standing just to my right. "Not a chance!" I yell, and side-stepping him quickly, I throw open the door and rush inside. Obi-wan follows me closely, but neither of us is prepared for what we see next: everyone on the Death Star having another outrageous party. We are both too shocked to move. A clone notices us standing there, lightsabers glowing, mouths open, and stops the music.

I look around at this party that I wasn't invited to. All I can say is, "What? You threw another party without me?"

"Well," another clones starts timidly, "you wouldn't have been able to come anyway. Lately you've been spending all your time looking for Kenobi, or talking to Kenobi, or even apparently sleeping with Kenobi to do much else, sir." I see Boba Fett over by the punch bowl as he squirms uncomfortably.

"So you threw a party WITHOUT me?"

"Wow," starts Obi-wan, "and I thought you were in charge of the Death Star."

"Shut up Obi-wan," I say turning toward him, still brandishing my lightsaber.

"Well, it looks like a lovely party, but I'm afraid I won't be able to attend this one," Obi-wan says at large. "I'd love to come, but I currently need to re-chop off all of Anakin's limbs." I am reminded that Obi-wan and I were previously engaged in a lightsaber fight.

"Wait!" I hear an urgent, familiar voice call out. The clones surrounding Obi-wan and I let out a collective groan as Palpatine rushes forward. "Lord Vader, you have to listen to this song!" I see Obi-wan grinning expectantly but am too baffled as to how Lord Sidious got here so fast to make any sort of retort.

Palpatine struggles with an ancient-looking device and a couple of large discs before a foreign tune finally reaches my ears. "Just came in from some galaxy far far away," he says proudly. "Listen closely to the lyrics – they really speak to you."

I do as he instructs and listen to the lyrics as Obi-wan, his face glowing blow in the light of his still-ignited blade, breaks into hysterical laughter. "I don't get it," I say, completely nonplused. "What does it mean by 'open my mouth wide?' Fit what inside? What are they swallowing?"

Obi-wan sighs heavily and says, "Alright, time-out." He turns off his saber and I follow suit to signify the temporary truce. After much deliberation to decide where exactly he should stand to do so, he begins whispering a few choice words toward my ear.

It's the last straw. "Okay, ew!" I bellow, and the room is filled with the oddly magnified sound of my voice. "Listen, my Lord," I say more calmly, turning to Palpatine who abruptly cuts the offending music, "I don't like you like that, alright? I mean, you're really nice and everything (to me anyway) but I just don't feel that way about you. You've always been a friend and a mentor to me, nothing more. Besides, I'm not gay." I see Boba grab at his chest in what I can only assume is relief.

Palpatine, however, appears stricken. I watch helplessly as he opens and closes his mouth a few times, apparently not yet able to say a word. He compromises by simply walking off in the opposite direction, the disturbing discs and foreign device clutched tightly to his chest. I start to follow him, intending to explain in some way, but a sneeze from behind me brings me back to my senses. Obi-wan … I was fighting Obi-wan.

In a synchronistic move, we both draw our lightsabers once more and the clashing collisions of blade against blade ring jarringly throughout the silent room. I force him backward and into the corridor again, dealing each blow with a renewed fervor. From behind the door that has just closed after us, the party is already regaining its intensity.

Authors' note- Again, we need more ideas for stories! Next chapter will most likely be our last, with the exception of an epilogue of course, and we need to get going on another story. Until next time, happy holidays, gift us with a review, and make sure to decorate your Bobs if you have them. (If not, name a menorah 'Bob' and be good to it).