I forgot the disclaimer, so here it is: I own nothing. Tough luck, me.
Alice: see the end of the chapter. I don't want to give spoilers.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Cleon and Dom's squad quickly became used to living in Kel's camp. They learned that it was hard work, all the time, but it was rewarding. Kel was glad to have them there.
There were few bandits attacks, but there were raiders. Rabbles of Scanrans, leaping at what they saw as their last chance of glory. They never came in groups larger than twenty, and they were always disposed of immediately.
But then one day, weeks later, another raiders group arrived. This one was larger, consisting of upwards of one hundred men, and they caught Merric's men off guard as they checked the forests.
Kel heard the horn calls. She was waiting at the gate when they rode back into New Hope, waiting for news.
The refugees quickly assembled on the walls and shot down the raiders outside until there was nothing left of them. Kel rushed back to the infirmary where Merric was with the injured men. "Tell me, Hollyrose." She said.
He looked worried. His lips were a thin pressed line, and he was pale. "Seven injured." He said. Kel winced. "Two dead." Kel sighed. She hated useless deaths.
"Kel." Merric put his hand on her shoulder, looking at her gravely. "It's Cleon."
She stared at him for a moment, reading his face. He's tricking me, she thought. Cleon is safe in the barracks. He is trying to scare me for some reason.
But as much as she though, she could not come up with a reason as to why he would be trying to scare her. She turned and ran across the courtyard to the barns, where she quickly took out Hoshi. She did not bother with a saddle, she just took the horse outside.
"Kel? What are you doing?" Dom was outside, leading in one of the injured men's horses. His own horse stood beside him. "Kel!" He called after her, but she was already riding towards the gate. "Bloody hell." He muttered, and jumped on his horse to follow her.
He knew where she was going. He had no reason to ask, or even to stay close to her. He had been there. He followed Kel across the bridge and into the forest. He had no idea how she knew where to go until he saw the hoof prints in the ground. He rode through the trees, looking for where Kel was.
Kel leapt off of Hoshi as soon as she saw Cleon. He way lying to the side of a large clearing, a spear pierced through his chest.
She hesitated before she touched him, her hands outstretched before her. She was afraid. Tears clouded her sight as she collapsed on the ground beside him.
She touched his face, his lips. He was cold. There was surprisingly little blood around his wound, and if the spear had not been protruding from him, he would have looked as if he was sleeping. He died quickly, like a true fighter, she thought. Honourable. But what was honour worth to her? Nothing.
She cried. She put her head down on him and she cried over him, and she did not stop when she heard Dom ride up behind her and get off his horse.
He didn't say anything as he knelt beside her. He put his hands on her strong shoulders and guided her away from Cleon's lifeless corpse. Kel didn't fight him, as he expected, but she turned to him and buried her face in his chest as he put his arms around her.
"Shh," he said quietly, holding Kel to his breast as she cried. "Don't cry, Kel." He whispered.
Slowly, Kel's tears dried out until she was just sobbing dryly, but she didn't move. She stayed there until she knew she was done, then lifted her head. "Oh Dom, what am I going to do?" She cried, sobbing once again.
Dom pulled her close to him. "Right now, Kel, you are going to come back to New Hope with me, and you are going to sit down with a hot cup of tea while we send men back for Cleon. It's not safe out here, do you understand?"
Kel nodded and rose, drying her face with the palms of her hands. "I don't want to ride." She said.
Dom sighed. "You rode out here, Kel, you have got to get back. But we can walk, if you would prefer."
She nodded her head, and Dom picked up Hoshi's reins. Kel crossed her arms over her chest and began to walk. Dom walked beside her.
"You never told me it would be okay." Kel said.
Dom sighed. "No Kel, I didn't."
Half an hour later, they arrived back at New Hope, not having said another word to each other. Dom gave their horses to a guard and walked Kel back to her room in headquarters.
"I will ask you, Kel, are you okay?"
Kel shook her head, staring at the ground. "No."
Dom kissed her forehead. "Go and sleep, Kel. There is nothing else you need to think about."
Kel nodded silently and closed the door. Dom could hear her burst out in sobs on the other side.
It was morning when Kel woke up. "That was all a dream." She said out loud. "A horrible dream." She stood up and went to the window, bursting out in tears again. The flag was flying half mast.
A knock on the door made Kel cry out. "Who is it?" She said weakly, wishing she had just not answered and pretended to be asleep.
"It's Dom. May I come in?"
Knowing he would anyway, Kel relented and opened the door. He smiled weakly. "I heard you moving around," he said. "how are you doing?"
Kel shrugged. "How am I supposed to be doing?"
Dom sighed. "I wish I knew." He said. "You're tired. Either go back to sleep or go see Neal, alright? Sleep will make it better."
Kel nodded. "But I have work to do."
Dom shook his head. "No you don't." He said, closing the door behind him as he left.
Kel put her head back down on her pillow and fell asleep. She didn't wake until noon, when she decided it was time to leave her room. She quickly pulled her hair back and put on a clean tunic, remembering to look proper when she went out, and ventured down to the mess hall. The mess was almost empty. The meal was over, only a few stragglers remained, as well as Kel's commanders, who were sitting at a table in the corner of the room.
Kel made her way over to them and was welcomed warmly, as well as informed that everything she was supposed to do in the past two days was taken care of. "Thank you." She said clearly, then sat down in silence to listen to them talk.
They were not talking of New Hope, as she expected, but of their lives in general; Kel already knew everything about Neal and Merric, but other people, Dom and Eurgain, she knew little about. They were socializing, getting to know each other as they had never really had time before, but Kel couldn't bear it. She didn't want to hear about their happiness or their suffering. She excused herself from the conversation, retrieved a roll from the kitchen to eat, and went back to her room.
She wanted to sleep, but she had been sleeping for a day now. She sat down on her bed with a sigh as Jump jumped into her lap. "Good morning." She said, scratching the dog's ear.
She lay down on the bed. What was there for her to do? She had work she should do, but she couldn't bear going outside again. She went into her study and stared at everything. Sheets of paper littered her desk where she had been working the day before. She had been so absorbed in it all that she had to leave it where it was when she had her meeting. Her glaive and sword leaned against the wall. There were chairs out of place, and record books strewn across the table from the meeting she and Eurgain were having.
It was a mess, but Kel didn't care. She sat down behind her desk and started working. She stayed behind her desk until the bell rang for dinner.
Though she was hoping for a quiet meal, she did not get what she wished for. There was a brawl in front of the mess hall that evening. Two men were arguing over a woman. Kel had dealt with the problem before, but it had a new sting now. She took a deep breath and put on her Yamani mask before striding over to the fighters. She grabbed the two men by their shirts and pulled them apart. Two men of the Own came and held on to them for her.
"Explain yourselves." She said, frowning.
The two men looked at each other madly. "If I don't get an answer, you can spend the night in the stocks!"
"He tried to steal my wife!" One man shouted. Both men started shouting at each other. Kel made out something about one man being married to a woman that the other man wanted... Kel didn't care.
"Who is the woman responsible for this?" Kel asked.
A young woman with a bulge in her belly stepped forward meekly. Kel frowned. "What happened?"
The young woman stared at the ground. "He's my husband." She said, pointing at one man. She looked up. "But..."
Kel closed her eyes and sighed. "Everyone clear out!" She said to the surrounding crowd. "Now, or latrine duty for the rest of the week!"
The crowd quickly dispersed, and Kel was left with the two men, still held by the men of the Own, and the young woman. "Let me get this straight," Kel said. "This man is your husband, but am I right in assuming that this man is your lover?"
The young woman nodded, not looking up. Kel sighed. "Very well. You brought this on yourself. What's your name?"
"Millie, my lady." The young woman said quietly.
"Well, Millie, you brought this upon yourself. I'm not going to put a pregnant woman in the stocks, but you have latrine duty for one week." She turned to the two men. "You will both have latrine duty the following week. It is up for you, Millie, to decide who the father of your child shall be, and whoever you choose, you are stuck with. I will let you marry again if you choose, but after that, you live your life with your husband, and I don't hear any complaints about it. Understand?"
Millie nodded. "Good," Kel said. "And you two have a black mark on my record. One more fight, and you are spending the night in the stocks."
The soldiers put them down. "I expect to hear your decision from you personally by the end of tomorrow." Kel said. "Either that, or I decide for you."
She turned and walked into the mess hall. After getting a plate full of stew, she sat down with her friends. "Glad you've decided to join us." Neal said. "We missed you."
Kel nodded. "I'm sorry." She said.
Neal shrugged it off. "No worries, Kel." He said. "What have we got planned for this evening?"
Eurgain smiled. "There's a sword competition tonight. The women want to prove to the men that they can fight."
Merric clapped his hands together. "Excellent! This is a competition I can actually do!"
"Eurgain, are you going to compete?" Kel asked.
The young woman blushed. "Oh, I don't think so, my lady. I'm not nearly good enough!"
Kel shrugged. "You'll never know until you try."
"Oh come on, Eurgain!" Merric said. "You should try! I've seen you practice. You are getting much better!"
Eurgain smiled. "Oh, please, sir! I'm not that good..."
Neal nodded. "Kel's right, you'll never know how good you are unless you try! And besides, if you do lose, all that's going to happen is you will lose. It's not life or death, Eurgain."
Dom punched him. "That's not what you're supposed to say, sir Meathead!"
Kel watched them calmly. They were happy. None of them seemed to notice that their friend died the day before.
When they ventured out into the square to watch the tournament, Kel, Neal and Dom found themselves alone as Merric and Eurgain went to compete. They helped refugees bring out benches and set them up around a large square in the courtyard. They set up chairs at one side, and insisted that Kel and her other commanders sit in them. It was only her, Neal and Dom, and Kel was in no mood to argue, so she sat.
Soon after the tournament started, Merric came over, taunting Neal. Angered, Neal ended up in the tournament against Merric. Merric grinned at Kel and Dom. "I knew I'd be able to get him out there! What about you two?"
Dom shook his head. "I'm happy to be a spectator, thanks."
Kel nodded. "I'm not in the mood, thank you."
They sat in silence for a few minutes, watching the younger children fight with wooden swords before they were sent to bed.
"Dom," Kel said, "thank you for being so kind."
Dom smiled. "So kind of you to notice."
"Sorry." Kel said. "Why are you so calm about this?" She asked. "It's like it doesn't matter to you. You don't seem sorry."
Dom sighed. "It's not that. When there are ten people you are commanding, instead of hundreds, you get to know them well. And people die in battle, and often. Sometimes you lose friends. You just have to remember. Would they want you to cry over their death, or would they want you to celebrate their life? I think they'd want you to celebrate their life. So I say cry. Cry as much as you feel necessary, and when you're done, smile again."
Kel nodded. "I see." She looked up at him. "But isn't it difficult? I mean, how can you smile when you think of that?"
Dom shrugged. "Don't think of how you saw them die, or how you saw them afterwards. Think of what they did in life that made you smile. Here. Tell me something that Cleon did that made you smile."
Kel racked her brain, trying to think of something that made her smile that didn't now make her cry. "I can't think of anything that made me smile that would not make me cry now." She said.
Dom shrugged. "Give it some time," he said. "It should come to you later. Think of other things that made you smile, and maybe it will seem easier."
"This makes me smile." She said.
Dom poked her. "You're not smiling, that doesn't count!"
Kel glared at him. "You don't need to be mean!" She said.
Dom grinned. "It's what I do." He said.
"Well, you didn't let me finish." She said, pointing to where Merric was beating Neal mercilessly. "That makes me smile." She said with a smile.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ooh... I hoped you enjoyed it, I was very proud of it. Please read and review! Yay!
Soccerchick-08: nooo.... What ever gave you that idea?... backs away slowly... breaks into a run! Seriously though, the difference in this one was that she wasn't in love with him straight from the start. They are just friends.
Alenor: glad you liked it... but ah, no more!
Lady of Masbolle: wow, I have no idea what you're talking about. Interesting! But I'm glad you like the story!
Alice: well, there you go! I didn't write it, because that would just give it away! It is not really that romantic for a while. There will possibly be some crazy flashbacks, maybe a bit of self realization... who knows.