This is nuts, i tell you, nuts! Ugh...it's been collecting dust bytes in my hard drive anyways, so...argh...just read it!
Warm Snow
He is still going on, living his life as usual. That is a good thing, is it not? Then why does a part of me feel so…pained? These thoughts are horrible, and I feel disgusted with myself for, for hoping to see him break down. It is not as if he would crawl back to me and profess his undying love. It would most probably the other way round, although I had told myself that I am giving up, just like everyone wanted me to.
Yet, sitting on the cold ground, leaning against the park railing, I am forced to accept the truth. That in my heart of hearts, I wanted him to walk by, just like the first time we met, and criticize the naïve words I wrote on a crumpled piece of paper. Denial weakened. I still love him so. It hurts, and I am reveling in the pain of it all.
What he had said, what those ending lines were, I had long forgotten. But I could remember so clearly, cool golden eyes that remain as expressionless as ever, and I knew. I am not to be the one to break his barriers or warm his heart.
Parting words are cruel, and Fate even more so, for now they threw snow around me. His name and snow, all the same, cold and unforgiving, uncaring.
He once called me masochistic. Perhaps I am, because now he is at peace and it seems like I am the only one hurting. But all I wanted was to try and heal him. it was not for some selfish reason! And all I received in the end is just a lighter withthe photo club stickeron it, thrown into my face.
I was so blind. I am happy with him, but he is better off without me in his cold routine-like life.
Cold. Even the flicker of warmth from the small fire of the lighter will never banish the freezing wind and snow landing softly into my heart. Snow clung onto me, the way he never would. I should be throwing the lighter away. But it was my last reminder, a solid memory of him.
The small fire seemed more fragile now; perhaps the fuel it needed was finishing. But my free hand circled around it like a moth seeking for warmth that had never been there in the first place. And suddenly I feel so exhausted, so tired. Maybe I should be getting a little rest.
The fire flickered and died. It feels like something, but what is it? I'm tired. When I get back, I must remember to pick up the lighter from the floor beside me.
It seems darker now. Why? I thought it should be approaching dawn. That means I did not sleep again. But it is so cold. Maybe I should go home. Where is home? No, I'll just rest a bit here. Too tired to move.
I just wish those voices would stop, though. What do they want now? Why are these familiar hands shaking me? They are calling someone, I wonder who. Is it me? But what is my name? These hands are frantic now. Why? They were never like this before. How do I know? Whose hands are these? I am supposed to know. He had blond hair. Who is it? What is the colour of his eyes? He must be beautiful.
Now it is more comfortable. I feel warmer, too. Should have asked for a hug ealier. Wait, that beautiful voice…he said something. He loves someone. Maybe it is me, hopefully.
Wish the snow would stop melting on me. It is warm, like this embrace, but I do not like it. Or maybe he is crying. Should I comfort him? but what is his name? I do not know, can't remember. Wait…his name…meant something cold, like snow. But he is warm.
It can't be Yuki.
Because he is…warm…
As is obvious, it is intended to be in Shuichi's POV. How was it?
(wags non existent tail)
Uh-huh, i feel accomplished.
CCs are welcomed.