"How am I supposed to know?"
Neal rolled his eyes. "I feel like such a girl, Kel, but you can feel it. See what happens when he kisses you."
Kel frowned. "And how exactly do I get him to do that?" She asked, smiling weakly.
Neal put his feet up on Kel's desk, leaning back. Use your imagination, dear Kel." He said with a grin.
Kel sighed. "Get out of my office, dear Neal, before I throw you out!" She walked over to Neal and lifted his feet high from the desk. He fell over backwards with a crash.
"Ow! Kel!" He said, rubbing the back of his head. "That sort of hurt!" He stood up, grumbling. "Fine, but I'll be coming back for all the gossip."
Kel grinned. "Of course, Neal." She said, pushing him out of the room.
Kel went to look for Dom after Neal had left. She found him outside the soldiers barracks, speaking with Merric.
They both nodded politely to Kel as she approached, and she nodded in return with a commanding air. She held her head high and greeted them properly. "Afternoon," she said.
Dom nodded. "Afternoon, commander." He said formally.
"Afternoon, Kel." Merric said, uneasily. He knew the dangers of standing between Kel and Dom was like standing next to a lit fuse.
"You're dismissed, Merric." Kel said, staring straight at Dom. He stared at her in return, his face showing no emotion. Merric bowed nervously and inched away backwards before turning and walking quickly.
"Walk with me, Dom." Kel said warmly.
"I'd rather not, thanks."
"That's an order, sergeant."
"Good to see you exercising your control." Dom said, walking. They walked slowly, keeping an arms length away from each other, still staring. Kel hoped she wouldn't trip.
"I do my best, thanks." She said.
Kel marched him over to her office in headquarters, the two of them politely throwing insults at each other the entire way.
"What can I do for you, commander?" Dom asked, leaning against Kel's desk. His hands were in his pockets, and he was still trying to be formal and condescending at the same time. Kel understood. She was in the exact same situation as him.
But not at this moment. At this moment she was risking her neck on a whim. On one of Neal's whims, at that. She knew she would regret it afterwards, but she couldn't help it; she had to know. Without answering his question, she quickly walked up to him and kissed him.
She lifted her hands to his face, but he did not move, shocked. He stood up from the table after a few seconds, leaning towards Kel, before she pulled away, still holding him close to her.
"That was unexpected."
Kel put a hand to Dom's lips, shushing him. "Did you feel anything?" She asked, looking confused.
"What?"
"Neal said you would feel it." She said, stepping away and pacing a few steps, chewing her thumb nail as she thought.
Dom smiled at Kel for the first time in over three months. "I think I understand. And that's not necessarily true. If we only knew we loved someone when we kissed them, very few of us would end up with the right person."
Kel frowned. "Then what's the point?"
Dom shrugged. "It can just be natural, a human instinct. You like someone, and you're with them, and suddenly you think to kiss them. It just seems like the right route to take. Sometimes you're right. And sometimes you're not."
He looked at the ground, but Kel just smiled. "It was the perfect thing to do." She said.
He looked up, confused. "Really?"
Kel nodded. "It was, I just didn't know it then. I guess I didn't really get it. Maybe telling me would have been easier, but of course, maybe telling you now would have been better. It certainly would have been easier, but I'm still not sure what I would have done then. And now I'm rambling."
Dom was grinning at her, leaning again on the desk, his arms crossed over his chest as he watched Kel. He was clean shaven and his hair was combed, but wind had blown it all over, and his tunic and breeches were wrinkled, his boots scuffed. He had been on patrol that morning, early. There were bags under his blue eyes from lack of sleep, but he looked content.
Kel sighed. "That kiss – it scared me. The first time Cleon kissed me, he offered me Midwinter's luck."
Dom nodded slowly. "O." He said. "I guess that makes sense. But you can't push yourself away from your friends every time someone does something that Cleon once did. It's going to happen a lot, and if you don't move past it, it will drive you mad."
Kel sighed. "To put it bluntly." She said with a chuckle. She stepped over to the window and looked out. She felt as if she was looking for something that was to come, as if Cleon would come riding into the camp at any moment. Kel knew that was impossible, but she still always hoped for it. Did she still hope for that now? It wasn't that she didn't love him any more, it was just that Dom was right, she had to move past it. It was already driving her mad. "He'll always be in my heart," She said softly, "he just won't be the only one." She quickly turned from the window and looked at Dom, her eyes flashing. "I've kept myself locked up in here so long," she said angrily, "that when I came out, I didn't know what to do. I alienated my friends, ignored my duties, I was horrible to you – all for someone who left me forever!" She threw herself into one of the chairs in front of her desk.
Dom pushed himself off of the desk slowly, as if he was very tired. He sat down in the chair beside Kel. "He didn't leave you," he said, "he was taken away. There is a difference, and that difference is the world."
Kel shook her head. "It doesn't matter, does it?" she asked, sighing, "I understand it all now. And I feel terrible for it."
Dom smiled. "You would." He poked her, and she flinched. "But stop beating yourself up over it. it happens to the best of us. You, for example. And it doesn't mean you're weak, or unworthy, or anything like that. Hell, it probably would've happened to me."
"But you said-"
"I know what I said, and that still stands true. But it's different, then men you would save on the battlefield and men you would die for."
Kel nodded. "Enough, Dom. I put myself out on the line here, and now I know how you feel, and I want to say that I'm sorry for the way I acted." She stood up and paced again, uncomfortable with what she was feeling.
Dom stood as well, but did not move any closer to her. "Apology accepted," he said with a smile. "and I too apologise for being so awful."
Kel nodded to him. "Very well." She said, grinning. "Is there anything else I can do for you, sergeant?"
Dom stepped towards her. "One thing, commander." He said, bringing his hand up to her face. "What about now?" He whispered, his hand hovering only millimetres away from Kel's face.
"What about now?" Kel asked.
"May I?"
Kel smiled. "Yes, you may.""
He kissed her once, softly, lightly. He pulled away and grinned. "I don't have to ask this time, right?"
Kel laughed. "No Dom, you don't."
He kissed her again. Much more passionately, but no more lovingly – every time he kissed her, no matter how, Kel still felt the same way about him. As he pulled her closer to him and she wrapped an arm around his shoulder, Kel felt strange. She was wrapped up in the passion of it, and they were pulling themselves closer and closer together still – but Kel was not sure if she was comfortable clinging to him, comfortable with him holding her tightly. It was not the she wasn't enjoying it, because she certainly was. It wasn't that she wanted to pull away to catch her breath, because she didn't. She just wasn't sure if it felt right.
This is silly, she thought. I am not uncomfortable with this. I'm just nervous and worried. But I am doing the right thing. And in her heart, she truly believed it.
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YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I UPDATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it wrong that I am the one happiest with this situation?
Smiles28: I know what you mean… sigh oh well, there is more to life than pretty things! Though I must say, I wouldn't say no to a shiny.
Atlanta Enchanted: thank you! (and yes, exams do need to hurry up – I will be able to update everything if they do)
BigBigStar: thank you! That is so nice!
Lady of Masbolle: thank you! Wow, that is a lot of author alerts. I don't even know what author alerts are!
PsychoLioness13: thank you ever so much, and thanks for wishing the luck stuff. (how's that for writing, eh?)
Erkith: funny, a few people have said that…
Heartdamoose: making people cry means that I have succeeded! Huzzah for tears! Where'd you get that quote? I've heard it in a web comic before, I can picture it, I just don't remember what comic it was… hmm…
Nikia-mysticQUEENofFIRE: thank you. That is a great compliment, let me say.
Heartdamoose (again): thank you kindly! And I didn't even realize you had to get between the lines. I try my best to use imagery and stuff, but then I get bored and realize I'm not actually very good at it.
Dreamerdoll: I'm sorry, ok? It's true, though… I don't do anything when I get distracted by writing. It gets kinda annoying.
Ossini: thanks!
Jennyvre Moss: I completely agree. I think I split them about evenly, as far as I can remember.
Laelai: I did… or did I? Yes, yes I did.
Alenor: I agree, she really needs some lovin'.
FanFictionFantom: ooh, alliteration! Sorry… Thank you. I have always thought that Dom and Kel were meant to be together (especially since TP practically said it at the end of Lady Knight), but he is in the books so little that it's hard to give his character flaws, because I am basically making him myself, or subconsciously copying him from other writers. Because he is so one dimensional, I find it difficult to write him – he usually ends up being a knight in shining armour who can do nothing but save Kel from whatever hell has befallen her. But he's not like that! He's a man, he can be a jerk, and people really need to realize that! (no offence meant to men… I can be a jerk too)
Alannalovingwriter: thank you!
Wake-Robin: thanks!
Well, that shall be all for tonight. Please enjoy the fact that I actually updated. Just so you all know: I have quite a few ideas for this story, I hope; I'm writing in a notebook all the time. Aftermath will be ending soon, Time will be continuing indefinitely, and I am not going to update Baby Steps until I come up with something that I really like. I hope this will quench your thirst for information. Now I must be away – I am going to attempt to update Aftermath and finish it.
Goodnight!
"If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up."
There are two there because I am weird and can't remember if I posted the first quote already. I really haven't been good about the quote thing… got to get back on track!
-unolimbo