Slowly, Kel pulled herself away from him. "We've done enough talking for now, I think." She said, smiling. "The rest will come later. Now I actually have work to do. I have to show up for dinner. But come and meet me here afterwards."

Dom kissed her forehead. "Fine. But only because I'm hungry." He frowned. "We've been hating each other for so long that I don't know what to do any more. I don't remember how I acted around you before."

Kel shrugged. "It's not really like before, is it? Before, you hadn't agreed to meet me in private after dinner." She grinned. "I don't want to have to explain it to so many people. Let's figure it out afterwards."

Dom smiled. "Good afternoon, Kel." He said, and stepped out to change out of his dirty clothes before dinner.

Barely seconds later, Neal bounded in. "I saw him leave! What happened?"

Kel shook her head, chuckling. "I don't know what you want me to say to you, Nealan."

Neal sighed. "Nothing?"

Kel shrugged. "It didn't feel like anything. Then we talked."

Neal's face fell.

"Dom told me to ignore anything you said to me ever again."

He grinned again. "Kel, that's perfect!"

"Thanks for the advice, Neal." Kel said. "However wrong you were, it did the trick. It's getting late. Should we head down to dinner?"

Neal grinned. "You know I can't say no to that." They walked down to the mess hall together, feeling the warm spring air on their skin. Kel warned Neal not to say anything and walked quickly. She wanted to see Dom again, and the faster dinner happened, the faster she would be in her room, waiting for him.

She smiled weakly as she took her place at the head of the table. Dom was conveniently on the other side of Neal, who was next to Kel. "Evening," she said, nodding to everyone at the table.

The evening passed as it often did, with Kel and Dom passing threats at each other possibly more often than normal. The difference was that they and Neal were trying quite hard not to laugh as they did.

Kel walked back to her room alone, as Dom stayed back and milled with the soldiers for a few moments. Kel had just found her schedule and was about to catch up on some of the work she had missed during the day when Dom appeared.

"You came." Kel said with a smiled.

Dom rolled his eyes. "Well, of course I came, Kel." He stepped closer and leaned over her desk. "Anything new?"

Kel shook her head, setting the book back on her desk. "Not since the I saw you three minutes ago." She stood up and stretched her arms until Dom caught her eye. She paused, then stepped closer to him.

Dom wrapped his arms around Kel and hugged her warmly. "Thanks, Kel." He said softly.

A voice inside Kel's head, a voice that given it's opinion many times before, spoke up again. It told her to do things she did not want to do.

With a sigh, Kel lifted a hand. "No, Dom." She said, silently cursing her conscience.

He dropped his hands to his side. "For Mithros' sake, Kel, we talked about this."

Kel shook her head. "You didn't remind me of anything, Dom. It was just- I'm not sure what it was. But I've got this feeling inside of me that's telling me to walk away from this and not turn back. I don't want to get hurt again, Dom, because when I do, I don't do my job. When Cleon died, I didn't do anything for three days, and I'm still barely back into it all. New Hope must come first in my life.

"I'm sorry if I break your heart, Dom, but it is better now than later. You said it yourself. People die all too often in these conditions, and I cannot afford to stop leading every time someone does." She sighed. "I'm sorry, Dom."

He didn't say anything. He merely stared at her with blank eyes. His eyes made it difficult for Kel to know what he was feeling. He looked as if nothing had happened, but his face changed as Kel stopped talking. "You're serious." He whispered. Kel nodded, still maintaining her Yamani mask, staring back into his eyes. "Kel, why now?"

Kel shrugged. "I don't know. I wish I could tell you. I wish I could tell you everything about me, everything I've always kept inside of myself."

"You can…"

"No!" Kel said sharply, not allowing herself to fall into the trap she had so easily set for herself. "Don't you see? It's not about whether I let you bed me or not. It's about whether I let you inside my hear. And telling you everything would mean opening myself to you, and I just cannot risk that."

She stepped away from him, towards the door that connected her office to her own room. She looked back at him for barely a second, then continued through the door and slowly pushed it shut behind her.

A tear fell down Kel's cheek, but she quickly wiped it away with the palm of her hand, not bothering to take out her handkerchief. She leaned her back against the door for a moment until she heard Dom walk away. How could she have been so stupid? She didn't mean to lead him on like that, but she hadn't put two and two together before that moment. She hadn't realized it. but she was glad she had the courage to do it when she did. It would have been even worse if she had waited.

She left her room a few minutes later and walked through the cool night air. She could see few stars as she looked up at the night sky. The moon was bright and full that night, drowning out all other lights. Kel imagined where they really were, how far away they were from her. She named as many constellations as she could. Perseus, Orion, Aquarius, Cassiopeia. That one had always been her favourite.

When she was young, when her mother had taught her about the stars, Kel had always asked her to point out Cassiopeia. She had been to young to find it herself, but she loved its name. It held such romance to her. She knew the story of the boastful Roman goddess, forever chained to her throne as punishment for her arrogance. She loved how the name rolled off of her tongue, the sound of the vowels mixing together.

She looked at the stars now, wondering if the had changed as much as her in the time since she had last stared at them so.

She walked towards the mess hall where she knew everyone would be socializing. Sure enough, when she reached the mess hall, she could hear laughter and music echoing into the square. Everyone who owned an instrument or knew how to play one was playing them, and there were two long lines of people in the centre of the room, with couples dancing down the line between them.

Kel liked to watch them dance. It reminded her that although they were stuck in a poor refugee camp in the north where no one cared about them, they were still people. They still had lives to live and people to love, families to raise and jobs to do. Kel walked around the clapping crowd, her hands thrust in her pockets, her feet scuffing against the floor as she didn't look where she was going.

She heard someone call her name from across the room, but she chose to ignore it. When she saw Neal jumping up and down, waving his arms over his head, she could ignore it no more. She waved weakly back to him and slowly made her way around the dancers to where he was sitting.

A few of her friends were there, sitting on a bench at the side of the room. Others still were dancing. Merric and Eurgain were in the process of skipping gaily down the rows of dancers.

Neal grinned. "He's smitten." He said.

Kel nodded. "Completely." As much as she loved seeing them together, it made her wonder if they would ever actually be happy. Would Merric's parents be willing to let him marry a noblewoman who worked for a living? It was an uncommon thing, unless that woman was a mage or a healer. She sighed. "Can anyone ever really be happy, Neal?" He looked at her, confused. "Their families have probably already arranged marriages for them," Kel said. you and Yuki have been engaged for two years now with nothing happening. My life just makes no sense at all. How am I supposed to know what to do?"

Neal sighed. "You don't, Kel. That's part of life. You learn from your mistakes, you learn from others. You sometimes hurt your friends in the process, but afterwards, you are better for it, and if they are really your friends, they will forgive you." He looked at her and sighed. "What did you do this time, Mother?"

"I messed up again, Neal. I thought I was making the right decision, and I still do, but it hurts."

Neal put his arm around her shoulder. "And one day, you'll know for sure. And if your love is true, maybe he'll want you back." He looked at her sternly. "But don't go thinking that he'll wait for you. Sometimes when you make a bad choice, you can never go back, and sometimes, it can change your life forever. That's when you have to be strong. And that's when our Lady Knight is at her best!"

He took her by the hand. "Come on, Kel, let's dance! Seeing me fall on my face will make you feel so much better, right?"

Kel grinned. "Well, I guess it will have to do." As much as she did not want to dance, she didn't want to have to sit and talk either. And while she was certainly not a very talented dancer, Neal and Merric were, if it was possible, even worse. Kel soon found herself laughing and dancing along with everyone else. Though she was having a good time, Kel retired early. She had an emotionally exhausting day, and she was ready for bed.

"I'll walk back with you," Eurgain said. "I'm exhausted!"

The two women walked in the warm spring air. "Did this seem like a bad winter to you?" Kel asked.

Eurgain frowned. "Not that I know of, Lady Kel."

Kel sighed. "Never mind. So how are you, Eurgain? We noticed you were having a nice time tonight." She joked.

A blush rose in Eurgain's face, and she looked away. "I'm sorry if I was inappropriate." She said.

Kel shrugged. "Don't worry, you were fine." There was a pause. "Do you want to marry him?"

Eurgain sighed. "I honestly have no idea." She looked up. "Is that bad?"

Kel shook her head, smiling. "How old are you?"

"Eighteen this summer."

Kel nodded. "I'm twenty one and I still have no idea whether I'm ever going to marry or not. I know I want children, some day – hopefully a long way off – but for now, New Hope is the love of my life. And while I do hope very much that you would decide to stay with us if you married, I grant you permission, as your commander, to marry my military commander." She grinned. "Heck, I give you permission to get married here, as long as I know I won't lose two of my most important workers."

Eurgain smiled. "Thank you, Lady Kel. But I don't know. He hasn't said anything, I'm afraid it might just be for while he's here. You know, there's nothing better."

Kel shook her head. "I know Merric. He's a very passionate person, and a very loyal one. He will stand by you, Eurgain. Maybe he will only stand by you as a lover for a while, but I don't think that is likely. He will always stand by you as a friend, either way." She grinned. "I can beat the information out of him, if you like."

Eurgain shook her head, laughing. She brought a slender hand up and brushed a soft red lock of hair out of her face. Kel knew why the girl was worried. She was quite easily the most beautiful girl in the camp, and she was afraid that Merric loved her only for that. Love for beauty is not real love.

"You haven't anything to worry about. Merric is attracted to shiny jewels, but he keeps them because he loves them and he knows their worth."

Eurgain thanked Kel again, and the two women parted ways, Kel to her room, Eurgain to her own as well.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, that is all for now… exams are finally over, and though I will not be in school, I will certainly be busy! I will do my very best to update as often as I possibly can… but I'm sort of hoping to get out at least a few times before Christmas! But don't worry, I will update as often as I can…

Atlanta Enchanted: thanks! I love making people cry! Jokes, don't worry. It's not that she doesn't love him – she does. She just realized that if she loves him, she's going to be caring more about his wellbeing than the wellbeing of the refugees – the people she's supposed to be protecting. So I'm afraid that you can't have him! (awww….)

Dreamerdoll: heehee, no worries! And I will try to update again soon…

FanFictionFantom: you did indeed get a long answer! Huzzah! Anyway, I know how you feel about Cleon. Hey, I'm the one who killed him, now didn't I!

Rowenhood: I have no idea. It completely depends on when I run out of ideas. I've used most of my ideas in my other stories, but when I have different set ups of characters, I have different plots. So I end up with all sorts of different stories, even though most of them start of similar. I don't even remember what I was saying before… distracted by Harry Potter… ugh.

Wake-Robin: course not!

Lady of Masbolle: oh well. I don't really read many fanfictions anyway. I never seem to get around to it…

BigBigStar: ooh, that makes me happy. Maybe I should actually bother to read them…

Alenor: yes, she and Dom do belong together, I agree. But conflict is storytelling. If I had no conflict, there would be nothing to say. That's why my stories after big conflicts are so boring with nothing but fluffy dialogue. I run out of things to say!

Numairs-Wild-Magelet: ooh, plot bunny! He sounds fuzzy!

Well, 'tis all for today. I hope that this is okay, I didn't think it turned out too well… oh well. I am having a bit of writer's block in this story… I know what I want to do far off, but I don't know what I want to do right now. It is very difficult to figure out what my conflict is going to be. I've done my first one, and I know the one I have for further off, but it might take me a while to come up with the one for now.

If anyone understood anything of that, congratulations.

"Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the persons house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch? A jack-o-lantern with a knife stuck in the side of it's head with a note that says "You." After that I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done."

-unolimbo