"What do you think Ronnie did to piss off the big man upstairs this much?"
The words break the tense silence on the viewing platform, startling Orabel from her thoughts. The wooden railing digs into her arms as she leans heavily on it, keeping her gaze on the railway tracks they're hurtling over, and not the head of blonde curls beside her.
"I mean…" Hari continues. "Gotta be something pretty big, right? His sister and best friend in one year. The only thing that could've made it worse is if he was reaped with you."
Orabel can't lie - her first thought, when Hari's name was read out after hers, was that Auberon had done something to piss someone off somewhere. Riggings aren't uncommon in districts like Nine, and it doesn't take a lot to ruffle the feathers of those in power. But then her brother comes barrelling through the double doors of the goodbye room, a mess of snot and tears, and Orabel realises that she's just looking for someone to blame.
Auberon is a menace sometimes, but there's no way he's caused enough trouble for someone to want to hurt him in this way. Not without Orabel having heard of it. Even if he had, it would be easier to rig him in, not her and Hari.
It's just bad luck. Though, for some reason, that's almost harder for her to stomach.
"Y'know if we're going to be allies, you have to speak to me," Hari says. Orabel can see him shuffling closer to her out of the corner of her eye. "You can't just keep giving me the silent treatment."
"I'm not doing it on purpose." Orabel pinches the bridge of her nose. There's a headache pounding away at her temples, and she's wanted to retreat to her room for a good forty minutes. She just doesn't feel right about leaving Hari on his own. "I just… dunno what you want me to say."
"This is fucked, isn't it?" Hari leans forward in Orabel's peripheral vision.
"Yeah," Orabel admits. "Completely."
"Hey." Hari nudges her. "'Least you managed to keep it together at the reaping. I think I lost more than a few sponsors 'cause of my crying."
In the silence that follows, Oriana rolls up her left sleeve ever so slightly, glancing at the bruises on her wrist. Beside her, Hari inhales sharply.
"Was that Oriana?"
"Yeah..."
"She's got one hell of a grip."
Orabel finally turns her head to the side, meeting Hari's gaze. His usual grin is gone, his complexion pale. His eyes brim with tears, and he crosses the small gap between them, burying his face in her shoulder.
"I don't want to die, Orabel."
"I know, Hari. I know."
She and Oriana are freshly fourteen, sitting shoulder-to-shoulder on the back porch as they take in their birthday sunset.
They're cursed, Oriana always says, having their birthday the day before Reaping Day. It's hard to get it out of your mind once the day starts to wear on.
"What would you do if you were reaped tomorrow?" Oriana asks her that evening, nursing a steaming cup of tea in her hands as a chill starts to creep into the air.
Oriana doesn't have to think about it. She looks towards her twin sister, then to the sunset.
"I'd win. I'd find a good alliance and I'd win."
They make a motley crew - Orabel, Hari, Anders from Five, Flora from Seven, and Alli from Twelve.
Alli is the first to join, Hari noticing the way that she kept glancing at the two of them as the trio were all sitting at the fire-making station. They picked up Anders at lunch on the first day, Alli inviting him to sit with them when he couldn't find a free seat anywhere else.
Flora is Orabel's pick. She clocks the girl the moment they enter the training hall on the first day. The way she was standing slightly off to the side of the crowd reminded Orabel of her Oriana; arms crossed over her chest as she observed the others. Timid. Scared, even, but trying not to show it.
She doesn't approach her until the morning of the second day, leaving the others behind at the camouflage station. Flora is staring at her by the time she's halfway across the room, looking a little confused as to why Orabel is coming up to her.
They introduce themselves quietly. Simply. And then they stand in silence for a little while until Flora nods towards Hari.
"You know him, don't you?"
"He's my little brother's best friend."
"That's gotta be rough on your brother."
"Yeah… I'm trying not to think about it."
There's a beat of silence between them, Flora's gaze flicking over to where two of the Career boys are sparring. She turns back to Orabel, seemingly a little put off that she'd been watching her.
"Did you come over here for a reason?" She asks quietly, taking in Orabel's hopefully neutral expression.
"Yeah, actually." Orabel clears her throat, gesturing over to the rest of her allies. "We were wondering whether you wanted to join us. You seem kind of lonely over here."
Flora pauses, shuffling from foot to foot in a move that makes Orabel's heart twang.
"My sister does that," she says, and she doesn't know why she's telling Flora. "Only when she's really uncomfortable. If you don't want to join us, that's cool. Honestly. No hard feelings or anything."
Flora looks at her again. "No, it's… I'll join you. I'm just… I didn't expect anyone to ask me. Thank you."
"That's all right." Orabel smiles. "The more the merrier, right?"
Orabel is ten the first time she meets Hari.
Auberon brings him home after school one day, the pair of them barrelling through the front door and disappearing upstairs in a flurry of laughter. She's less than pleased, trying to do her homework as they shout and scream, but her mother tells her that she has to be patient.
She's loud when she has her friends over, too.
She swallows down her complaints, focuses on her science worksheet.
Whilst they're eating dinner, Hari spills his drink all over it.
It takes her weeks to forgive him.
Hari spills water down the front of his interview suit ten minutes before he's due on stage, and Orabel thinks his stylist might burst a blood vessel.
She can't help but laugh as the man whisper-shouts at the boy, patting the damp areas frantically with a towel. When that doesn't work fast enough, he drags Hari off somewhere, and Orabel half thinks that he's going to kill him before the games even begin.
He returns a few minutes later, pouting as he slips into line behind the girl from District Eight. His suit and shirt aren't as damp anymore - Orabel is sure that she can only tell because she already knows.
"What happened?"
"They used a hairdryer, Orabel. It was humiliating. There were, like, five stylists, and I'm fairly sure they were all laughing."
"If it helps, it probably wasn't at you." Orabel shrugs. "Your stylist seems like a bit of a nutcase."
Hari nods, shuffling forward in line as the Eight girl takes to the stage. "If Ronnie were here, we coulda pulled a prank on him. You're kinda boring like that, no offense."
"I'm always up for a good prank," Orabel says. "I've just been a victim of your guys' pranks so much that I'm not exactly eager to inconvenience someone else."
After a few moments, Hari turns around, a goofy grin on his face. "'Member that time me and Ronnie put flour in your hair dryer?"
Orabel's smile instantly drops at the memory, and she swats her district partner on the shoulder. "It took me forever to get it out of my hair."
"I can still remember the way you screeched," he giggles. "It was like a banshee-"
She shoves him as the buzzer sounds for the District Eight girl's interview, but he manages to right himself before he stumbles out on stage.
"Rude!"
"Have fun."
"I don't know if I can do it," Oriana stresses, pacing around the twins' shared room. "What if everybody laughs at me? What if I forget what I'm supposed to say?"
Orabel doesn't even look up, sitting cross-legged on her bed with her nose in a book.
"Can you do it for me?" Oriana asks, she crosses the distance between them, seizing Orabel's wrist. "They can't tell us apart."
"It's just a presentation, Ana," Orabel sighs. "I can't do it for you. Mom says I gotta let you do things on your own."
"But you're so much more confident in front of people, Bel! It's not fair!"
Her interview goes well, or at least she thinks that it does. It's a little off putting at first; all the lights, and the pomp, and the cameras, but she thinks that she handled it okay. There were definitely times where she thought it was slipping, the three minutes feeling more like a lifetime, but her mentor and stylist team give her a thumbs up as she walks off of the stage, and Hari claps her on the back as they head back to their room.
She doesn't sleep much.
Orabel has done remarkably well at pushing the Games to the back of her mind. They're always lingering in her thoughts, but she's never been one to dwell on her issues, and if she's being completely honest, she's almost enjoyed her time in the Capitol.
There's nice food, soft beds, fluffy carpets; the soaps in the bathroom smell heavenly. And the four others that she has surrounded herself with aren't the worst company ever. Her younger brother's best friend might not be Orabel's first pick of someone to stay up late with and watch as the sun sinks below the high-rise buildings, but he's not too bad. And Alli is lovely, and Anders gives good hugs. Flora continues to be a little standoffish, but that's not a bad thing.
It's a shame that everything is coming to an end.
Hari knocks on her door at just past eight, asking if he can come in. Combing through her wet hair, Orabel ushers him in, and he takes a seat on the edge of her bed, watching as she pulls her red hair into a braid.
"Did your mom teach you how to do that?" He asks. She can see him fidgeting in the reflection of the mirror.
"I taught myself," she answers, tying off the braid. "Did you… want something?"
"Just some company," he shrugs. "I'm getting nervous."
Orabel nods, joining him on the bed. "Yeah. Me too."
"Do you think Ronnie slept last night?"
Orabel smiles sadly. "I don't think any of our family slept last night."
"Did you?"
"Not really. You?"
"Nah."
"We've got this, though," Orabel tells him. "We can do it. We made it through those summer shifts in the fields, huh? What's a bloodbath compared to that?"
"Easy peasy lemon squeezy." He bumps a fist to hers. "We've got this."
"That's the spirit."
She's inside the house when she hears the boys' screams of terror.
She's home alone with the four of them, her brother and his friends, and her heart hammers wildly in her chest as she throws herself off of her bed and races downstairs and into the back garden.
Auberon greets her at the back door, his eyes wide and full of fear. "We were climbing the fence and he fell off!" He whimpers.
"Who?"
"Hari!"
In the absence of her parents, she'd had to fetch the next-door neighbours. They stopped the bleeding as best as they could and bandaged him up.
As scared as he'd been that day, the next time Orabel saw him, only a few days later, he couldn't stop bragging about his stitches.
It happens so fast.
One minute, Hari is at her side, holding her hand as they sprint across the uneven ground, heading towards the mountains towering in the distance. The next, he's stumbling, falling, and she can't catch him. He goes to the ground with a thud, and Orabel is skidding to a stop, but the District Four boy is advancing and she's being pulled backwards-
"We have to go!" Alli's voice is laced with panic, blood dribbling down the side of her face from a cut on her forehead, as she grabs Orabel's upper arm.
"No! I can't leave him, he's-"
"Your brother's friend, I know but we-"
"He's my friend!" Orabel howls. "Our friend!
The District Four boy has a mace, and he's trained, and he's so much taller than her, but she can take him. She has a sickle, and she can take him. She can-
There's another set of hands clawing at her now, dragging her backwards and away from Hari. He's trying to get to his feet, hands reaching out for her, and sobs ripping from his throat, but the District Four boy is right behind him, and he's raising the mace and-
Orabel screams.
The mace makes contact with the back of Hari's skull once. Twice. Her district partner - Ronnie's best friend, Orabel's friend, goes limp in the dirt.
The District Four boy laughs. He laughs, and he starts towards her, and she doesn't know how because she doesn't want to leave him, but her legs start carrying her away. Away from Hari and the bloodbath.
She failed him.
She failed Auberon.
Anders and Hari both fall in the bloodbath whilst the trio of girls survive. They find a cave to hide in, emerging for the anthem. Alli wraps her arm around Orabel's shoulder as Hari's face shines down on them. Flora rubs Orabel's upper arm.
"I'm sorry," she says, and it's sincere, and Orabel knows that she means it. She appreciates is, but the only thing that she can say is:
"He was so scared of dying."
Oriana is trembling when she throws open their bedroom door, eyes as wide as saucers.
"I just saw a ghost!" She whisper-shouts, slamming the door behind her. Bleary-eyed, Orabel shifts under her covers.
"Slamming the door isn't going to help," she murmurs. "It'll just float through it."
Oriana frowns. "Do you not believe me?"
"It was probably just your imagination." Orabel shrugs. "Or you caught one of the boys out of the corner of your eye."
"It was a ghost, I swear!" Oriana pouts.
"Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say."
Three days into the arena, and Orabel thinks she's seeing things.
No.
Seeing him.
She's exhausted and hungry, and she knows that it's probably just her mind playing tricks on her, but she swears that every so often there's a flash of blonde curls in her peripheral vision. But whenever she turns around, hope swelling in her chest, she's met with nothing but disappointment.
Just a cave wall, or one of her other allies, or nothing. Just empty space.
It's starting to drive her insane.
They don't say much anymore, the three of them. They had never been loud, but they were definitely talkative. With the exception of Flora, perhaps, they'd never shied away from a conversation. Orabel hadn't minded it - telling them about her life back home - because it made it feel normal, like she was in the playground with her school friends.
Maybe that is her issue; that she isn't taking the Games as seriously as she should. She treated the Capitol like a mini holiday, almost, taking pleasure in the food and the friends and not thinking enough about the very real danger just around the corner.
If she'd trained harder, maybe Hari would still be alive. Maybe she would've been able to react faster, to catch him and right him, instead of realising too late and leaving him in the dust. Maybe they would have been able to take on the District Four male, if the five of them had trained with weapons more, maybe she would've-
"That's a lot of maybes." Alli's voice startles Orabel, her grip loosening on her sickle. It clatters to the ground, and Orabel hurries to pick it up. "Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. You were whispering to yourself…"
Orabel clenches her jaw, blinking back tears as she studies the curved blade of her sickle like it's the most interesting thing in the arena.
"It's not your fault, you know," she continues. "It's… I hate to say it, but it was going to happen eventually."
If Alli had said the same words on the first day in the arena, Orabel might've killed her. She'd been so angry that first day, and leading into the second afternoon. Now all she is is tired. Of the arena. Of the guilt.
"I want to go home."
Alli inhales sharply. "Yeah. I do too."
They return to the silence. Orabel gives her sickle a few half-hearted swings as something to do. Flora's out, scouting the area, and it's just a case of waiting to see what she says before they plan their next move.
They hear her before they see her. Out of the ordinary for Flora, who walks around on her tiptoes just like Oriana does. At least, they hope that it's her they hear; boots thudding across the ground as a shadow crosses the wall.
Alli readies her knife. Orabel her sickle.
When Flora comes into view, it's with panic written all over her face. Orabel's heart sinks. "I think they saw me!" Flora almost shouts. "I think they're coming!"
"Who?"
"The Careers! I had a decent head start, but they're fast and they saw me come in here!"
Orabel's breath catches in her chest, but there's no time for her to have a meltdown if they're being pursued. They gather up their things, deciding that they have a better chance of getting away outside, in the open space, rather than burrowing further into the tunnels and meeting a dead end.
They spill out of the cave entrance, and Orabel sees the Careers immediately. The trio turn sharply to the left, running as fast as their legs will carry them. Orabel doesn't let herself turn around, or look over her shoulder. She grips the handle of her sickle so hard that her hand hurts, and she keeps running and running and running.
At some point, they cross over from the mountainous section of the arena and into a forest. Orabel barely registers it at first, too determined to just get away. It isn't until the two girls ahead of her skid to a stop that she does, too.
But it's not because they've finally outran the careers.
It's because there's nowhere to go.
In front of them is a twenty foot drop, at least.
"I'd win. I'd find a good alliance and I'd win," she tells her sister, neck craned to see the streaks of gold and orange in the sky.
There's a beat of silence, and then Oriana is laughing. Loudly.
"What?" Orabel huffs. "You think that I couldn't?"
Oriana doesn't answer, her head tipped back and shoulders shaking. Orabel pouts.
Eventually, Oriana speaks. "You can barely kill a fly, but you think you can win the Hunger Games?"
"You don't think I could?"
Oriana is still laughing, shaking her head. "No. But you'd die trying."
Orabel finally turns around, watching with horror as the Careers crash through the trees. She's edging closer to her allies, hoping that one of them will be able to come up with a last minute plan.
The Careers are getting closer by the second. Suddenly, Orabel is flying forward to meet them.
Hands on her back shove her forwards, and she crashes into the District Two girl with a startled cry.
Looking over her shoulder, Alli and Flora are gone, disappearing somewhere in the trees to their left.
A loud chuckle draws Orabel's attention back. The District Four boy is readying his mace.
"Bad luck for District Nine," he chortles.
He brings down his mace.
Once.
Twice.
Her cannon fires.
i'm very, very sorry...
i've been talking about orabel a lot recently, and it has been so hard to keep the ending of this quiet. i am sorry for any emotional distress caused by misleading people to think that she was my victor...
but... we'll be seeing them in the next chapter. for real. i promise
title from dead hearts by stars. c